Result: A yellow, cloudy, foul-smelling liquid. When consumed by a Class-D personnel he reported it tasting like "concentrated hobo". He then started to randomly babble on about the last film he saw. He was terminated on the spot.
Meh, I was expecting worse.- Dr. Crimson.
Input: A cup of Durian juice.
edited 4th Aug '10 7:29:56 PM by Neo_Crimson
Sorry, I can't hear you from my FLYING METAL BOX!Result: A cup of Durian juice. Several people committed emesis during production.
Note from Dr. Fischer: Seriously, guys? What did you expect?
Input: OH, SHIT! IT'S MR. CREOSOTE!
edited 4th Aug '10 8:58:25 PM by JackMackerel
Half-Life: Dual Nature, a crossover story of reasonably sized proportions.Output: A blackish, rather robust fluid. The Class D Personnel attempted to consume it, but the bile-like substance emitted from the fluid engulfed the subject and the surrounding walls.
Here... - Dr. Neryon
Dr. Neryon inserts a wafer thin mint, which makes the liquid explode, but it ends up clearish and safe enough to drink. The Class D Personnel is then ordered to clean the mess up.
I knew it's a mistake for anyone to suggest it in the first place. - Dr. Neryon
Input: A cup of bacon
edited 5th Aug '10 6:09:25 AM by WartysNeryon
Result: A cup of various liquid elements and compounds corresponding to a quarter-kilogram of bacon.
Request: A cup of pure, concentrated what.
"Meet 18th century English gentlewoman Kimiko Achmadsdottir and her brother-in-law Wladyslaw bin Vivianus." - annebeecheResult: Dr. Fischer took on mannerisms and speech patterns of David Lynch. Later commented it was vaguely Japanese.
Input: A can of whoop ass.
Half-Life: Dual Nature, a crossover story of reasonably sized proportions.Output: A tannish fluid that when the Class D Personnel attempts to consume it, it splashes on him at such a velocity it knocks him cold.
I thought so. I wouldn't advise consumption. - Dr. Neryon
Input:A cup of Psitanium
edited 5th Aug '10 6:03:40 AM by WartysNeryon
Output: A shimmering purple liquid that, upon consumption by a D-class with a known Split Personality, caused both personalities to become one.
Input: A cup of cups.
Discover the rest as the game progresses.Result: A cup of what was eventually determined to be molten china and ceramic. Substance positively identified as the twenty-odd cups belonging to dr. Rights' antique tea set, which the doctor had reported missing last week.
Oh, dear...—Dr. Dawson.
Request: A cup of charisma.
The Danse Macabre Codex@I Yellalot: I already did that one
!
Result: A cup of white fluid. Consumption resulted in the subject having markedly-improved social skills and charm.
Request: A cup of pragmatic cynicism
edited 5th Aug '10 12:41:40 PM by RTHSFF
"Meet 18th century English gentlewoman Kimiko Achmadsdottir and her brother-in-law Wladyslaw bin Vivianus." - annebeecheOutput: A clear liquid that upon consumption, the Class D personnel builds up a distrust of his fellow personnel and becomes preoccupied with dealing with practical problems with more practical approaches than what the other Class D Personnel is doing. His preoccupation, as well as willful negligence of procedures, wore out at the wrong time, and he was assigned to keter duty for the next day.
Thank GOD this didn't get any worse... - Dr. Neryon
Input: A cup of Jarate
edited 5th Aug '10 1:31:51 PM by WartysNeryon
Output: A glass of human urine. This test coincided with a fire near 294, as the result of a previous query. The researcher who ordered the urine threw it on a burning D-Class, extinguishing the fire. Everyone in the room simultaeneously had their vision obscured by a mass hallucination of a pop-up telling them they had 'unlocked' the following 'acheivement':
Friendship Is Golden
Extinguish a burning ally with your Jarate.
Request: A cup of lies.
edited 5th Aug '10 1:32:00 PM by MadeOfAxes
"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.Result: A cup of a clear, nondescript liquid that did seemed to churn under its own power. Drinking it rendered the D-Class personnel who did so unable to speak except in lies, omissions or outright contradictions, even when he clearly had no desire to do so.
''Good thing it's been destroyed...—Not Dr. Dawson.
Request: A cup of I Wanna Be The Guy.
The Danse Macabre CodexOutput: A dark brown fluid in a can, which upon consumption by a Class D Personnel, he goes into an uncontrollable sugar-and-caffeine high, followed by a serious sugar-and-caffeine coma, and finally the subject's head burst into pieces. Dr. Neryon examines the can and sees that it has caffeine and sugar beyond the advisable amount in one sip alone.
Nobody suggest an "ultimate" anything EVER AGAIN! I'm having a couple of Class D Personnel clean up the mess, lest they face keter duty. - Dr. Neryon
Input: A cup of Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
edited 29th Nov '10 3:07:31 PM by WartysNeryon
Output: ^^ A bright orange, fizzy liquid. 40 seconds after ingestion, the subject suffered a massive heart attack and died.
Output: ^ A brown liquid. When consumed by th (bald) D-Class test subject, his hair immediately regrew. When a second D-Class, with a full head of hair, consumed it, his hair began to grow but did not stop. The D-Class suffocated on his hair.
Input: A cup of flight.
edited 5th Aug '10 2:19:16 PM by MadeOfAxes
"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.Result: A shimmering liquid that seemed to change color every time it was looked at. A D-Class who drank it claimed to have gained knowledge of [DATA EXPUNGED].
Input: A cup of whatever they make the cafeteria's hamburgers out of.
edited 5th Aug '10 2:20:44 PM by IYellalot
Discover the rest as the game progresses.Output: A cup of liquified biological tissue, confirmed to be a mixture of cow, sheep, horse, dog, raccoon and [DATA EXPUNGED]
That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard. That can't be legal. - Dr. Axes
Output: A metallic grey liquid. Upon consumption, the subject had a seizure. Upon removal from the area, he regained consciousness and had a large amount of knowledge he should not have, including knowledge of various emails and conversations. Upon being returned to an area with wifi, his seizures resumed. These effects subsided after nine hours.
Request: A cup of flight.
edited 5th Aug '10 2:32:12 PM by MadeOfAxes
"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.Result: A cloudy white liquid that appeared to give the ability to fly upon consumption.
Request: A cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup of a cup.
edited 5th Aug '10 2:29:43 PM by IYellalot
Discover the rest as the game progresses.^^Result: a cup full of scintillating liquid that was truly blinding in its radiance. Drinking it caused the D-Class personnel to glow from within, illuminating his digestive tract in various colours.
...What? We asked for flight, not light! Is the machine screwing with us? —Dr. Dawson
Result: SCP-294 displayed an "Out of Range" message, then violently ejected several ceramic cups into the nearest researcher's face; Dr. [REDACTED] is currently receiving treatment for severe cuts and collapsed sinus cavities.
Request: A cup of scent and touch.
edited 5th Aug '10 2:32:09 PM by SullenFrog
The Danse Macabre CodexResult: A bubbling white fluid, once consumed by a D-class personnel, the subject achieved powered flight without any visible wings or propulsion. The effects wore approximately 3 minutes later and the subject died of severe cranial trauma after falling 100 yards.
Input: A cup of Soul Purification Potion.
Ninja'd
edited 5th Aug '10 2:33:01 PM by Neo_Crimson
Sorry, I can't hear you from my FLYING METAL BOX!Dammit, by the time I get one thing written up, another post has already been made!
^^^Output: What appeared to be water. D-class subject ingesting drink reported feeling an electric shock and hearing the words "Try again, smartass". When asked to describe the voice, subject could not.
^^Output: Subject reported the substance dispensed had no taste at all, but it left an odd sensation in his nose.
^Output: OUT OF RANGE.
Request: One pizza with the works.
Output: A liquified Papa John's all-toppings pizza.
Dr.—- : No Wall E puns. Please.
Request: A cup of Forum Games.
"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."

Output: A red fluid with occasional dots which upon consumption, he still appeared normal, but he is now full of the energy as the humans were.
Input: A cup of Chester A. Bum