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Buying drinks from SCP-294

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TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan
PARTY HARD!!!!
Jun 16th 2010 at 9:37:56 AM

The purpose of this thread is to conduct further experiments involving SCP-294.

Example:

I type in "a cup of Tv Tropes"

Result: A cup of fluid resembling lemonade, one researcher bravely took a sip; he claimed it tasted like "meta". His remains were later found alongside a note stating "Tv Tropes ruined my life".

I type in "forum game"

edited 16th Jun '10 9:38:32 AM by TheMightyAnonym

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
rallyfan9000 Elite Soldier from overwatch position
Elite Soldier
Jun 16th 2010 at 10:04:05 AM

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED].

Request: Falcon Punch.

I am a proud member of the Western Federation's Anti-Japan Media Task Force. My work is very important.
Jun 16th 2010 at 10:05:25 AM

A cup of red liquid. It is simultaneously the tastiest and most painful drink you've ever had in your life.

One cup of madness, please.

KarlzBelena from hell
Jun 16th 2010 at 10:43:33 AM

Result: A cup of blackish-red, cloudy liquid reported to display glinting symbols in an unknown language when held to the light. After taking a sip, one researcher [DATA EXPUNGED]; for his own safety he is currently confined in an isolated cell until further notice. When spilled, the liquid sizzled and evaporated into the air, inducing strong feelings of [DATA EXPUNGED] in all researchers present for approximately eighteen minutes.

Request: A cup of despair.

we are not the same you will hear my voice
RTHSFF Kori Dómtlandsson
Kori Dómtlandsson
Jun 16th 2010 at 12:11:03 PM

Result: A clear liquid, looking and tasting exactly like water. When the class D assigned to test the substance took a drink, he developed severe depression and hanged himself about an hour later.

Request: A cup of fire

"Meet 18th century English gentlewoman Kimiko Achmadsdottir and her brother-in-law Wladyslaw bin Vivianus." - annebeeche
Jun 16th 2010 at 12:15:07 PM

Your cup is full of burning napalm. What did you expect, a Potion of Cold Resistance?

I request the Best Beer Ever.

VampireBuddha [DATA EXPUNGED] from Right behind you. Just keep typing. Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
[DATA EXPUNGED]
Jun 16th 2010 at 12:54:08 PM

Result: A large mug of cool beer with a photo of you on holiday with your friends one summer vacation. You recognise the photo as the day you went out for drinks and had a great time.

Request: A cup of truth.

CaptainNapalm Totally Not a Schoolboy from a closet.
Totally Not a Schoolboy
Jun 16th 2010 at 1:06:08 PM

A clear substance, that when consumed, renders the drinker incapable of uttering any untruth or half-truth when posed with a question, regardless of how minor it is. Interest has been expressed by researchers in administering this liquid to Class D personnel.

A cup of Link Connect Liquid...

Let's play a game about Pokémon...
SullenFrog Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise! from Voormithadreth Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Wait, he isn't dead! Shia Surprise!
Jun 16th 2010 at 1:17:08 PM

Result: a cup of liquid similar in appearance and consistency to Tang. Researchers noted that it tasted heavily of blood, and one reported that he had no trouble breathing after accidentally spilling some down his larynx.

A Blue Suns.

edited 16th Jun '10 1:17:33 PM by SullenFrog

The Danse Macabre Codex
KSPAM PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY from PARTY ROCK Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY
Jun 16th 2010 at 2:50:30 PM

A glowy blue drink that tastes of raspberries. And burning. Much burning.

One Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, please.

edited 16th Jun '10 2:51:27 PM by KSPAM

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
Eatdembeanz The Magical Fruitbasket from The Pantry
The Magical Fruitbasket
Jun 16th 2010 at 3:48:08 PM

Output: One frothing blue drink in a martini glass. Reported to be tasty "like being hit by a lemon tied to a gold brick"

Request: A cup of lust.

kagescorpionakki Lamb and Wolf from Runeterra Relationship Status: Barbecuing
Lamb and Wolf
Jun 16th 2010 at 5:32:40 PM

Result: A pink liquid that causes every conceivable orifice in your field of vision to look like female genitalia.

Request: A cup of immortality.

edited 16th Jun '10 5:33:58 PM by kagescorpionakki

Never one... Without the other.
CaptainNapalm Totally Not a Schoolboy from a closet.
Totally Not a Schoolboy
Jun 16th 2010 at 5:43:16 PM

Output: Machine failed to produce a drink, gave "OUT OF RANGE" notice instead.

A cup of ecstasy (the sensation, not the name for MDMA).

Let's play a game about Pokémon...
Makuta9999 Lord of shadows
Lord of shadows
Jun 16th 2010 at 6:23:19 PM

^^^^ That was already done on the SCP site. The result wasn't pretty.

To be seen, stand up To be heard, speak up To be appreciated, shut up
KarlzBelena from hell
Jun 16th 2010 at 7:43:01 PM

Output: A frothy violet liquid giving off a minty odor. When drunk, produces strong feelings of lethargic euphoria as well as of sexual satisfaction; subjects reported having "jizzed in their pants" on multiple occasions, in response to diverse stimuli [Note: new pants and eventually condoms were provided for the subjects]. These sensations lasted for about twenty-four hours, though after wearing off, the subjects displayed withdrawal symptoms and demanded more.

Request: A Bloody Krauss.

we are not the same you will hear my voice
NickTheSwing Swing, not Slide from Ya really wanna know? Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Swing, not Slide
Jun 16th 2010 at 7:52:56 PM

a drink that is red and tastes very pleasant...but is blood.

request: invincibility drink

A Sleepy Town, Psychic Powers, and Secrets a'plenty.
CaptainNapalm Totally Not a Schoolboy from a closet.
Totally Not a Schoolboy
Jun 16th 2010 at 8:07:54 PM

Output: A dark red liquid that was remarked as having an "indescribable" taste. Subject that drank the liquid began subjecting themselves to numerous life-threatening situations, and received no apparent harm from them. The effects of the drink began to wear off after approximately 5 minutes, after which reports of injuries began to surface. After 10 minutes, subjects who drank the liquid were commanded to "stop acting like idiots" after a Class D personnel that was administered the liquid died after flinging himself off of a ledge in excess of 100 meters in height.

Input: A cup of Moo Moo Milk.

edited 16th Jun '10 8:08:10 PM by CaptainNapalm

Let's play a game about Pokémon...
KarlzBelena from hell
Jun 16th 2010 at 8:16:18 PM

Output: A cup of ordinary-looking milk. Has no effect on humans; however, one researcher reported that when he gave a saucer of the milk to his cat, it displayed greatly increased vitality and energy.

Request: A Blue Potion.

we are not the same you will hear my voice
Colonial1.1 Crazed Lawrencian from The Marvelous River City Relationship Status: In season
Crazed Lawrencian
Jun 16th 2010 at 8:26:58 PM

Result: A thick, opaque, and deep blue liquid. When drunk, subject requested a meeting with SCP-343(God). Request was granted. Upon reaching the testing area, subject proceeded to [DATA EXPUNGED]. Heavy damage to containment area was sustained, and — personnel reported [REDACTED] wounds. Subject terminated over 343's protests.

Dr. Clef: Never ask for something associated with magic, got it?

Request: A cup of national nostalgia.

Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan
PARTY HARD!!!!
Jun 16th 2010 at 9:51:17 PM

Result: A fluid that changes colors to resemble the country of origin of whoever is holding the cup. Subjects who consume the substance become obsessed with history; however effects are shown to wear off once the subject has written a 10,000 page book on their country. One German subject upon consumption attempted to take over the facility and did not calm down until [DATA EXPUNGED]; further testing is heavily discouraged.

Request: A cup of =D.

edited 16th Jun '10 9:51:49 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
KarlzBelena from hell
Jun 16th 2010 at 10:11:45 PM

Output: A cup of bright golden liquid. After consumption, all test subjects behaved cheerfully and reported an increased sense of optimism, even the class-D personnel. Effects faded after about six hours.

Request: Romulan ale.

edited 16th Jun '10 10:12:04 PM by KarlzBelena

we are not the same you will hear my voice
KSPAM PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY from PARTY ROCK Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY
Jun 16th 2010 at 11:37:16 PM

A frothing glass of ale that makes you buckle upon consumption, as if you'd been sucker punched.

A bottle of Demoman's scrumpy.

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
Colonial1.1 Crazed Lawrencian from The Marvelous River City Relationship Status: In season
Crazed Lawrencian
Jun 16th 2010 at 11:41:03 PM

Result: A slightly rotten cup of Scotch whiskey.

Request: A cup of holy.

Proud member of the IAA What's the point of being grown up if you can't act childish?
Chubert highly secure from California
highly secure
Jun 16th 2010 at 11:48:31 PM

A cup which, upon consumption, causes the drinker to say the phrase "holier than thee." No other effects have been noted.

A cup of bull's milk.

Whatcha gonna do, little buckaroo? | i be pimpin' madoka fics
KarlzBelena from hell
Jun 16th 2010 at 11:49:42 PM

The machine gave an "OUT OF RANGE" message.

Request: A cup of strawberry cheesecake.

we are not the same you will hear my voice

Total posts: 1,722
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