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OuttaTheBLAM resident moonatic from your other left Since: Aug, 2009
resident moonatic
#351: Apr 2nd 2010 at 6:54:04 PM

And now I realize I don't even know what gender the stranger was.

Which often is best.

You're looking for this person.
AXavierB Since: Jan, 2001
#352: Apr 2nd 2010 at 7:50:10 PM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Smigra.
You: Hey.
You: Smigra?
Stranger: Smigra.
Stranger: It's a new pokemon.
You: Ah. HG/SS?
Stranger: It evolves into NIGGER!!!
You: Clever.
Stranger: Lol.
Stranger: So what's up?
You: Nothing much. Bored.
Stranger: Oh? Why is that?
You: Not much to do around here.
Stranger: Oh where do you live?
Stranger: If you don't mind me asking.
You: California.
Stranger: Ah.
Stranger: There is always masturbation... If you're truly bored.
Stranger: Unless you're a paraplegic.
You: Meh, do that all the time.
Stranger: A hooker?
Stranger: Plenty of them in Cali.
You: Don't want any STDs.
Stranger: I see.
Stranger: I have an STD.
You: Oh?
Stranger: Yeah. I've got blue waffle.
Stranger: :(
You: What kind of STD is that?
Stranger: Google it.
Stranger: http://www.bluewaffle.net/
You: Oh shit that's terrifying.
Stranger: I know...
Stranger: I hurts...
Stranger: I have to let my nether reigons soak in the bath tub.
Stranger: With abraxo cleaner...
Stranger: And shamwow.
You: Super.
Stranger: DAVID HASSELHOFF!!!
You: Heh.
You: Well... nice chatting with you.
Stranger: Thank you.
Stranger: I need to unclog my vagina anyways...
You: Fun.
You: Ciao.
Stranger: I'll think of you while I wipe the putrid discharge for my vag.
Stranger: Mmmm mucous.
You have disconnected.

edited 2nd Apr '10 7:50:39 PM by AXavierB

RobbieRotten Since: Nov, 2009 Relationship Status: 700 wives and 300 concubines
#353: Apr 2nd 2010 at 10:00:16 PM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey!!!

You: hi

Stranger: Should I go to South Africa?

You: no

Stranger: Why?

You: It's full of mutant zombies

You: I went there once

Stranger: I did too.

You: I died

Stranger: ME TOO

You: Now i'm in heaven

Stranger: Okay, so should I go?

You: No

Stranger: Because heaven is good?

Stranger: Fine.

Stranger: Bye

You: I'm really in hell

You: Only Satan would let someone on the internet

RobbieRotten Since: Nov, 2009 Relationship Status: 700 wives and 300 concubines
#354: Apr 2nd 2010 at 11:24:52 PM

Ok,This is the longest,most epic Convo I've ever had On Omegle!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey

Stranger: hey

Stranger: whats up?

You: You gotta help me!

You: I've been held captive by an evil overlord!

Stranger: which one?

You: Some guy named Zurg

Stranger: i'll fire my red light at him, brb

Stranger: kay, what now?

You: Is he dead?

Stranger: he was all "BLEH"

You: Good.

Stranger: then he died

You: The world is safe from his evil

You: Now I can start MY EVIL!

Stranger: REDLIGHT!

You: MUHAHAHAHA!Q

Stranger: i'mma fire mah lazors!

You: Now to Taek over the world!

Stranger: BAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

You: Your punny lazors have no effet on me!

You: I'm the ultimate evil!

Stranger: BUT DR OCTAGONAPUSES WILL

You: NO WAI!

You: NOTHING CAN STOP ME!

Stranger: liek totaly

You: I will zap you with my lighting bolt!

Stranger: taste my lightning fuckers!

You: *ZAP*

You: Now your dead!

Stranger: i can;t be killed.

Stranger: i have nintendonium armor.

You: I have Adamentuim claws!

Stranger: nintendonium is stronger.

You: You've gotta ask yourslef "Am I feeling lucky?" Well you do you,Punk?!

Stranger: it's what the original gameboy is made of.

Stranger: therefore, i amindestrucatble.

You: Well Adamenuim is what Satan's skin is made out of!

Stranger: it's not stronger then nintendonium.

Stranger: trust me.

You: Yes it is

You: It's SATAN'S SKIN!

You: I also have his penis

Stranger: nintendonium makes up Miyamotos skin.

Stranger: MIYAMOTO

You: Who is that?

You: Your mom?

Stranger: the inventor of mario

Stranger: SHIGERU MIYAMOTO, ATTACK!

You: Good for him. He's not as strong as Satan

Stranger: he's god.

You: *Kills you*

Stranger: according to my scribblenauts game, god beats satan.

Stranger: every time.

You: If you had;nt killed Zurg this would not have happened

You: This is all your fualt!

You: MUHAHAHAHA!

Stranger: but oddly, cthulu kills god.

You: My big toe is made out of him

You: You have doomed the universe!

Stranger: oh well, i live in another one.

You: I can make any universe explode!

You: I just made your explode!

Stranger: oddly, in my DBZ episode, vegeta just yelled "then the whole universe is going to die!"

You: What does the scouter say about his powe level??

Stranger: it's 1006.

You: But That's UNDER 9000!

Stranger: oh wait, i had the damn thing upside down...

Stranger: it's 9001.

You: You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city's steps! You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!

Stranger: but the balls are still inert.

You: Is this blasphemy? Is this madness?

Stranger: nope, nope.

Stranger: it's fairly on rails

You: I guess this isn't sparta

Stranger: guess not.

You: I will still kill you!

Stranger: but there is no pit of death.

Stranger: and i still adorn my nintendonium armor

You: I will put on Satan's skin!

You: You know,this is all your fualt

Stranger: yeah, whats new?

You: If you hadn't killed Zurg,this wouldn't have happend

You: Zurg is the only who could defat me and he's dead

Stranger: i get off on the downfall of universes.

Stranger: and i just go to toys r us and buy another one for like 5 bucks...

Stranger: they're fairly cheap.

You: Only zurg can kill me.

Stranger: yeah, and i just bought another one.

You: Another what?

Stranger: another zerg

You: Oh crap!

Stranger: there were SHELVES of them... You: I know! i'll go back in time and stop you from finding out I'm evil!

You: *Grabs time machine*

You: *goes back in time*

Stranger: you can;t get up to 88 MPH on a computer.

You: Sure I can!

You: I just did

Stranger: nontheless, the plutonium would melt the computer

You: * goes to 20 minutes ago*

You: past Stranger! Don't talk to the other stranger!

Stranger: hmm, where am i?

Stranger: oh, a chatlog, i'd better read it.

You: Don't talk to the other stranger.If he tells to help him,DON'T!

Stranger: hmmm, according to this chatlog, i shouldn't listen to you...

You: What?! You: .Yes you should!

You: He's a lier!

Stranger: not according to this cag=hlot.

You: chat logs lie

Stranger: chalogs have no opinion, they just tell it like it was.

Stranger: like a text book.

You: I am the ultimate good,chat logs are evil!

You: If a stranger tells you to help him wiht zurg,don't!

Stranger: according to the chatlog, and this receipt from toys r us for a zurg doll, your evil.

You: I'm GOOD!

You: I'll go the past to stop zurg from captureing me!

You: *Goes back to 1 hour ago*

You: Zurg! I've come stop you from captureing someone!

You: Zurg,If someone comes in here don't capture him!

You: Ok?

You: Good

You: *Goes back to present*

You: Hello stranger

Stranger: ohai

You: What's up?

You: I'm not evil at all.

You: And Zurg can't kill me

Stranger: ohai, how'd i jump ahead like 5 episodes in DBZ?

You: I don't know

Stranger: all i know is kid buu is dead, and now everything is back in order.

You: Hey cna I see that nintendonium armor?

Stranger: how do you know about that?

You: wikipedia

Stranger: weird, i was just about to create the page about it...

You: Tv Tropes mentioned it too

Stranger: i just posted that...

You: You know TV Tropes?

You: May I see that armour pleasr?

Stranger: yeah, i just wrote the page...

You: May I see the armour anyway?

Stranger: just check the wiki on it.

You: I just wanna hold it

Stranger: hey, you can't touch with your eyes.

Stranger: you just wanted to see it.

You: May i touch it?

You: Hold it in my hands?

Stranger: thats what she said.

You: Please?

Stranger: thats what she said.

Stranger: the radiation would kill you.

You: May I please hold that armor

Stranger: the radiation would KILL you.

Stranger: what?

You: I can't be killed

Stranger: but, you just said....

You: Well one thing can kill me

Stranger: what?

You: I can't tell you

Stranger: what could i do about it Stranger: ?

You: Why do you wanna know?

Stranger: why WOULDN'T i want to know?

You: Here's a list things that DON'T Kill me:Pizza,Zurg,soda..

Stranger: wait, what was that second one?

You: Soda

Stranger: ah, okay.

You: So may I?

Stranger: may you what?

You: Hold that armor?

Stranger: return this zurg doll i apparantly got at toys r us?

Stranger: do that and you may.

You: Ok *Returns dool*

You: *Returns doll*

You: There

Stranger: it won;t shut up about it's "ultimate enemy"

You: Weird

You: Ok I retunred it

Stranger: i havent givin it to you yet.

You: Oh

You: Give it

Stranger: hmmm, i've taken a liking to the little guy...

Stranger: i may make it the headpiece on my armor...

You: May I please hold the armour ? Stranger: i gotta wash it first...

You: I'll do it

Stranger: only miyamoto can clean it.

Stranger: his tears.

You: Oh

Stranger: he dosent cry.

You: I can hold it when it;s dirty

Stranger: it must be hand delivered, and authenticated via password, voice command, and retina scan.

You: Can it be destroyed?

Stranger: nope.

You: not by anything?

Stranger: it is the densest thing ever created.

You: Oh.

Stranger: and is fire proof, acid proof, and water proof.

You: Is it....Zurg proof?

Stranger: the zurg doll is now the headpiece.

You: oh

Stranger: so, zurg is attached to it.

You: Can YOU be destroyed?

Stranger: not when in the suit.

Stranger: and it's very hard to remove.

You: Are you wearing it?

Stranger: the suit wash is more of a "walk through" wash.

Stranger: and it dosent come off.

You: Are you wearing right now?

Stranger: of course.

You: How do you take it of? Stranger: with the key that is in Gunpei yokois hand.

You: oh You: Oh Screw it *Zaps you*

Stranger: -repels lightning- Stranger: wtf man?

You: *Kills you*

You: I AM ULTIMATTE EVIL!

You: I have met you before

Stranger: zurg helmet, attack!

You: You almsot burned me

You: but I went back into time ot before I met you! You: *Killks Zurg*

Stranger: zurg is lined in nintendonium.

Stranger: you cannot kill him.

You: Oh rap

You: *Kills you*

You: He must be dead

You: YES!

You: Now to take over the world!

You: *Takes over universe*

You: I WON!

Stranger: I'MMA FIRE MAH LAZOR!

Stranger: BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

You: I tooke overr the universe!

You: Only 1 thing can kill me!

You: And that is....GOD

Stranger: Miyamoto, attack!

You: He's not god!

Stranger: yes he is.

You: That's it! Time to bring out the big guns

Stranger: no, i will.

You: I summon....SATAN!!

Stranger: Pedo Bear, Attack!

You: HE CAN't KILL ME! Stranger: he will rape you.

You: So?

Stranger: then post pictures on the internet.

You: That's happend to me before

Stranger: yeah, how do you think i got his number?

You: Oh crap

You: This convo has been going on for a long time

Stranger: really?

You: Tiem to end it

You: CONVO ENDING POWERS ACTIVATE!

Stranger: you sir, are truely a master of the art of trolling, i bid you adue

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

AckSed Pat. St. of Archive Binge from Pure Imagination Since: Jan, 2001
Pat. St. of Archive Binge
#355: Apr 7th 2010 at 3:37:53 PM

This is just Bash.org 2.0,isn't it?

Ah well,onto the bandwagon! My very first:

Stranger: 30 bucks to spend on junk food. what i buy?
You: Ramen,Big Mac,Coke... and I'm out of ideas
Stranger: good enough
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

edited 7th Apr '10 3:38:43 PM by AckSed

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
AckSed Pat. St. of Archive Binge from Pure Imagination Since: Jan, 2001
Pat. St. of Archive Binge
#356: Apr 7th 2010 at 3:54:51 PM

Stranger: hi
You: SHALL WE PLAY A GAME?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: asl?
You: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND "ASL"? HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF CHESS?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
AckSed Pat. St. of Archive Binge from Pure Imagination Since: Jan, 2001
Pat. St. of Archive Binge
#357: Apr 7th 2010 at 6:27:35 PM

Oh...kay? A meaningless exchange of posh dialogue evolved into roleplay then cybering. Still not sure whether it was a girl or boy. They stopped replying then disconnected so - boy.

Still,it was some of my best writing:

You: Well,I have extended mine trust. Could you do me the courtesy of the same?
Stranger: well if you must know mine name is ashley tiss a name not befitting of worth ware im from
You: Ashley,thy must try to be proud of one's name,for it is an expression of your parent's will. Unless they called you Napster,in which case,go ahead and change it!
Stranger: i hath laughed out loud by your whitty jest

edited 7th Apr '10 6:28:40 PM by AckSed

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Ferewolf Ferewolf from Planet Eris Since: Jul, 2009
Ferewolf
#358: Apr 29th 2010 at 6:40:49 PM

Try and spot all the sci-fi references in my conversations. I'm most proud of the last conversation. _______________________

You: Hi.

Stranger: hey

Stranger: asl

You: 19, M, an insignificant little blue-green planet out in the unfashionable spiral arm of the galaxy.

You: If there's a center of excitement in the universe, I'm on the planet that it's farthest from.

Stranger: ahahahahahahah nicee

Stranger: 17/ f/ canada

_______________________

Stranger: hey

You: Hi.

Stranger: male or female

You: Male. You?

Stranger: female

You: Okay.

You: What's up?

Stranger: ntm extremly bored

Stranger: u

You: I prescribe half an hour (at least) of Monty Python. With friends, preferably.

Stranger: haha i heard it was funny. never actually seen it

Stranger: have you ever seen the movie I Love You Man

You: No. The one about the two guys who pretend to be gay?

Stranger: no..... the one where a guy doesnt really have any friends for his wedding so he tries to make friends. so funny!

You: Ah. Never even heard of it, then.

Stranger: so where are you fromÉ

Stranger: from*

You: I'd tell you, but the Yeerks would find me.

Stranger: yeerks.... whats that

You: I'm not sure I should tell you. Jake will be mad.... But... People deserve to be warned.

You: You know that organization that started up in America a few years ago called the Sharing?

Stranger: sure

You: They do stuff that looks good on paper. Charity work, community building projects, stuff like that.

You: But underneath it all is a darker purpose.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

_______________________

Stranger: hey

You: Hi.

Stranger: wats up?

You: The direction opposite the nearest relative source of gravity. This concept has little meaning in outer space, except on a space craft with some kind of simulated gravity.

Stranger: clever.

You: Thank you.

Stranger: u win the only smart-@$$ award ive ever given

Stranger: u should feel honored

You: To be honest, it was my shorm Aximilli-Esgarouth-Isthill who came up with it.

Stranger: and wat would that be?

You: What, Shorm? It's an Andalite word, although why Andalites have words when they communicated exclusively using sign language before developing thought-speech I've never thought to ask. It basically means "best friend."

Stranger: the whole thing

You: Aximilli-Esgarouth-Isthill is his name.

You: We mostly call him Ax, though.

Stranger: ure wierd

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

_______________________

Stranger: hey

You: Hi.

Stranger: whats good

You: Monty Python.

Stranger: lol yes it is

You: Terry Pratchette's Discworld books.

Stranger: lol

Stranger: asl?

You: 19, M, if I tell you the Yeerks will find me.

Stranger: ahahahhahahaha damn i was the fbi but i guess you caught on

You: I figured. It was either that or the Illuminati.

Stranger: i wish... the benefits are so much better

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

_______________________

Stranger: Heloo

Stranger: do you like pancakes?

You: Hi.

You: Yes. But I prefer waffles.

Stranger: Oooo

Stranger: I LOVE WAFFLES. :D

Stranger: Do you prefer it with ice cream? honey

Stranger: or honey*

You: Waffles with honey, pancakes with ice cream.

Stranger: AH NICE :)

Stranger: You have great taste!

You: Thank you.

Stranger: Waffles and pancakes are nice, just like you !

You: Thank you very much.

Stranger: :) Nice chatting with you! when you eat waffles or pancakes anytime now, you'll think of this stranger :)

Stranger: See yah, In the next life :)

Stranger: Hope you be doing well in life!

You: See ya then. We'll meet up at the pancake house next to the videogame arcade.

Stranger: Sureee :D

Stranger: <3

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

_______________________

Stranger: m/f?

You: Neither. My species reproduce asexually. You?

Stranger: same :-(

You: Sux.

Stranger: u wanna reproduce asexually together?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

_______________________

You: Hi.

Stranger: hi, im not on here to have cyber sex

You: Me either.

You: Ninja's don't have sex anyway. We reproduce by forming other ninjas out of solid stone with our bare hands, then imbuing them with the breath of life.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

_______________________

Anyone looking for inspiration for their next story should look at this one.

Stranger: hey

You: Hi.

Stranger: how are you?:)

You: Fine.

You: You?

Stranger: Im fine, I just have a bit of headache

Stranger: so how was your day stranger?

You: Alright. You should get that headache looked at, could be a sign of being possessed by an alien entity.

You: Or dehydration.

Stranger: I think it may be alien entity

Stranger: thing

You: You should go looking for blue phone boxes. There may be a British guy who can help you.

Stranger: naah I be fine being possessed sound like fun:d

Stranger: besides would it not be fun possessing someone else body for one day just to see their live

Stranger: it may give different perspective on stuff

You: You should set up a transferral array, that way you can take over his body when he takes over yours. There should be instructions for it on Instructables.

Stranger: good idea

Stranger: but what if his ego is too strong to be overcome by creature such as me which is probably less evolved then the extraterrestrial

You: Use a psychic inhibitor to bring him down to your level and beat him with experience.

Stranger: nahh I just gonna go berserk and win with pure rage and lack of predictability

Stranger: always works

Stranger: :D

You: That would do it, yeah.

Stranger: so you used psychic inhibitor to fight your way with alien possession?

You: No, it was a friend of mine.

You: A werewolf named Ted.

Stranger: wow

You: That kind of thing happens to him a lot.

Stranger: I only meet vampires and incubus

Stranger: on my journeys

Stranger: I'm sorry for your werewolf thou it must be hard on him fighting aliens all the time

You: He gets by. He's got some buddies who help him kick but.

You: A warlock, a kick-boxer and a zombie.

Stranger: cool

You: Seriously.

Stranger: and what role do you have on the time? your the zombie or the warlock?

Stranger: *team

Stranger: sorry my ADHD retardation activated, and my concentration skill dropped by 20 points

You: I'm more tech support. I'm the one who stays behind at headquarters and researches the threat of the weak, looking for weaknesses, strengths to watch out for, et cetera.

Stranger: see so your the master-tactician kind of guy?

You: Exactly. I help put together the plan of action, mostly, although I've been known to hold my own in a fight when necessary. Stranger: see,your weapon of choice?

You: Crossbow.

You: The bolts are enchanted. They do 0hp worth of damage, and knock the target unconscious. Except for impressively strong targets, of course.

Stranger: very peaceful weapon

Stranger: btw stranger what is your name if I may ask?

You: Bartholomew. There's a story behind it, but it's long and kind of embarrassing. You know, parents.

You: I usually go by Bart.

Stranger: Im Alek pleased to meet you

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

_______________________

edited 29th Apr '10 6:44:59 PM by Ferewolf

AckSed Pat. St. of Archive Binge from Pure Imagination Since: Jan, 2001
Pat. St. of Archive Binge
#359: May 5th 2010 at 7:53:24 PM

Stranger: hi
You: Good morning from UK
Stranger: asl?
You: ER
You: Why
Stranger: cus i wanna know
You: Try harderr
Stranger: im just asking for age and gender.. :S
You: I guard thos jealosly
Stranger: huh?
You: 31
You: that's all you're gonna get
Stranger: not gender?
You: see above
Stranger: didn't come
You: but hey feel free to guess
Stranger: f?
You: doesn't mean I'll answer
You: Can we talk now?
Stranger: i wanna know if im talking to a man or a woman
You: Why?!
Stranger: why not ?
Stranger: it's not like it's creepy if i know what gender you are
You: It is if you know why people go on here
Stranger: just friggin tell me .. geez
You: live with it
Stranger: wont
Stranger: seeya
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Stranger: Horny girl?
You: It's three feet long
You: Doctors say they'd kill me getting it off
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: I'm looking for a 14 or 15 year old horny girl.
You: You got a 31-year old bored man. Congratulations.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

edited 5th May '10 8:06:25 PM by AckSed

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
panbobo So...Nanoka? from Where you see a dark orb Since: Sep, 2009
So...Nanoka?
#360: May 14th 2010 at 3:17:23 PM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: nlt?

Stranger: need less taco

Stranger: never!!

Stranger: there is always room for taco's

You: yeaaaaaahhh!!

You: america needs more tacoooo

Stranger: Hawaii is hot

You: and italy is such a dude

Stranger: Italy wants to rape Hawaii? O.o

You: maybe

You: it's hawaii fault for being to hot

You: too*

Stranger: but hawaii is the youngest state

Stranger: omfg

Stranger: and italy is like really old

Stranger: so omfg

You: but italy is a creep old guy

Stranger: italy is a pedophile

Stranger: PEDOBEAR Ow O

You: PEDOITALY!!

Stranger: Want some of my cheese

Stranger: ew hehehe

You: now HAIL TO PEDOITALY!

Stranger: *salutes*

You: you're doing right sir/maam

Stranger: All Hail PEDOITALY

You: *salutes*

Stranger: wouldnt you like to know ~.^

You: sorry, but i hate asl

Stranger: but seriouly living here in Hawaii is hot -w-

You: so lets make it a enygma

Stranger: no A/C

You: mexico it's even hotter

Stranger: i see i see

Stranger: no A/C T_T

You: and he's young Ow O

You: a/c?

Stranger: HE? >.>

You: i think

Stranger: <.<

Stranger: Pedobear >.>

Stranger: makes the world go round

You: yeah

You: are you a troper?

Stranger: Jeeper's

Stranger: Creeper's

Stranger: Where did you get those eyes

Stranger: troper?

You: what eyes Ow O?

You: yeah, troper

Stranger: >w>

You: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage

Stranger: <w<

Stranger: RAWR~<3

You: nyoron!! =3

You: LOLI RAEP TIEM!!

Stranger: i see

Stranger: hold a sec then >w>

You: ok

Stranger: lol

Stranger: so do you know the word?

You: word?

You: troper?

Stranger: the birds the word >=3

You: haha =3

Stranger: b b b b bird bird bird

Stranger: bird is the word >=3

You: bbbb bell the cat!!!

You: oooooo the cat

You: rum rum rum rum rum rum

Stranger: save by the bell

Stranger: >=D

You: wanna told me your nlt?

Stranger: http://www.playlist.com/playlist/15893533451

Stranger: nlt?

You: number, type, list of moves

You: i just wanna know if you're a pokemon!

Stranger: wa wa wa?

Stranger: oh

Stranger: lol

Stranger: how did you know i was thing about pokemon before?

Stranger: im infnite

You: lol great chatters type the same

Stranger: dragon flying

Stranger: and my moves are unknown >=3

You: hey that's not fair

You: TT_TT

You: you made porygon cry

Stranger: fien fine

You: what are you gonna do?

Stranger: superspeed

You: CRITICAL HIT

You: IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE

Sadly my connection got asploted tongue

edited 14th May '10 3:20:06 PM by panbobo

What?
Blueeyedrat Since: Oct, 2010
#361: May 15th 2010 at 9:46:52 PM

(This isn't mine, I found it here. The full link is here.)

You: I CHALLENGE YOU TO A POKEMON BATTLE

Stranger: I am a woman looking for someone to talk dirty with.

Stranger: WAIT

Stranger: YES!

Stranger: A wild stranger appears.

You: GO! LAPRAS!

edited 15th May '10 9:47:24 PM by Blueeyedrat

panbobo So...Nanoka? from Where you see a dark orb Since: Sep, 2009
So...Nanoka?
#362: May 15th 2010 at 10:17:30 PM

Stranger: asl plzz

You: lemme check

You: ummm i think im a squirrel, and this is the void

Stranger: what?

You: yeah what you read

You: i'm a void squirrel

You: and you?

Stranger: tat mean ur a female

You: no, that means im a horny squirrel in the void

You: wanna squeeze cheeks with me?

You: i let you eat my chesnuts!

Stranger: wanna sex chat?

Stranger: asl plzz

You: sure

You: again, im a squirrel in the viod

Stranger: ur boobs size

You: void*

You: my boob size is 1 cm

You: wanna tap me in the head?

Stranger: what/

You: you know, pat me, tap me, whatever you call the action of gently putting your hand in my head

Stranger: do u have pet?

You: no, squirrels dont have pets

You: we are pets

You: but im too intelligent for being someone's pet

Stranger: have u a dog?

Stranger: for sex

You: eee i hate interspecies sex, i think humans don't pick well their sexual partners

You: but i don't blame you

edited 15th May '10 10:20:34 PM by panbobo

What?
Tangent128 from Virginia Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
#363: May 24th 2010 at 7:04:34 PM

You: WILD ABRA APPEARS!

Stranger: hi!

Stranger: tell him not to come here, elephants are very dangerous

You: Wild ABRA was squished by the elephant.

You: ...

You: now what?

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?
b_alasdair from North Carolina Since: Oct, 2009
#364: Jul 7th 2010 at 9:41:09 AM

I figured it would be easier to do this than to paste all 12 of them here. http://thelolmegleproject.blogspot.com/

A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes there is no virtue but on his own side. ~ Joseph Addison
ThatChickWithPurpleHair from Glorious Alabama Since: Oct, 2010
#365: Oct 10th 2010 at 1:03:48 PM

I've spent a long time trolling on omegle looking for someone to play along and found this person.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying. Stranger: horny? You: No Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Am I just not good at this?

edited 10th Oct '10 1:19:12 PM by ThatChickWithPurpleHair

Doin' what I can with what I got.
Hydrall Since: Jun, 2009
#366: Oct 10th 2010 at 1:29:43 PM

I was trolling Omegle by doing Nethack stuff. This resulted.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying. You: >You are in a ROOM. You: >Actions? Stranger: pick nose You: >You pick your NOSE. You get a BOGIE. Stranger: put BOGIE in pocket Stranger: look around You: >You put the BOGIE in your pocket. You: >You look around. The ROOM has four WALLS and a FLOOR. There is a DOOR on the NORTH WALL. Stranger: try door You: >The DOOR is stuck. Maybe something could grease it up a little. Stranger: use BOGIE on HINGES Stranger: lolz You: >The BOGIE manages to slick up the hinges. The door swings open. Stranger: sweet Stranger: exit room You: >You exit the room. You are now in a HALLWAY. It continues NORTH, but something is moving ahead. Stranger: equip LONGSWORD You: >You don't have a LONGSWORD. You do have a TORCH, though. Stranger: light TORCH Stranger: do i have a lighter? You: >You now have a lit TORCH, and you can see farther into the OH GOD A SLIME. You: >A brown slime approaches! Stranger: hmm... Stranger: search floor You: >The floor is made of dusty stone. Very dusty, actually. Like, an inch or so. Stranger: sneeze You: >The dust fountains into the air. The Brown Slime pauses. Stranger: aha Stranger: sneeze at Brown Slime You: >The dust flies over and covers the Slime, which begins to shrink. It lunges towards you! Stranger: use TORCH on Brown Slime You: >You swing the torch at the Slime, but before you hit, the dust in the air catches on fir. You: FIRE. You: >Kaboom. You: >You now are in a SLIGHTLY CHARRED HALLWAY. Stranger: lol You: >There is a BROWN SLIME FLAMBE here. Stranger: search BROWN SLIME FLAMBE You: >You find burnt Slime. It smells like burnt chocolate. Stranger: hmmmm... Stranger: eat BROWN SLIME FLAMBE You: >You eat the brown slime. It tastes like the most rich and delicious chocolate you've ever eaten... Plus charcoal. Stranger: mmmmmm, charcoal... You: >It's an acquired taste. Stranger: indeed Stranger: mone NORTH Stranger: move* You: >You move north. The hallway forks,with one fork going NORTHEAST and the other WEST. You can hear a voice cursing shoplifters to the west. Stranger: sry, still laughing at "slightly charred hallway" Stranger: ahem You: >I can understand. Stranger: hmmm Stranger: what the hell, move WEST You: >You find a door, with the sign 'JUMBIGO'S JUMBO POTIONS'. The voice is louder now. Stranger: open door with the sign 'JUMBIGO'S JUMBO POTIONS' You: >"WHY HELLO THAR CUSTOMOORUNIE AND WILL-COME TO JUMBIGO'S JOOMBO POT-SHIONS!" Stranger: say "hi" You: >"And hellOOOO yooself, trabelur! What can I's get yoo? I gots RED pot-shuns, BLUE pot-shuns, and SWIRLY-WHITE potions!" You: >You begin to feel scared of this creepy man selling potions in a cave. Stranger: "eh, i'll just..... how much for the red one?" You: >"FIVE GOLD!" Stranger: "errr" Stranger: search SELF You: >You HAVE: A lit torch, a knife, a camera, thirty gold, and a yellow-green potion. Stranger: ooooooh, 30 gold! Stranger: "is this red one a healing potion" You: >"I HAVE NO IDEAR! YA FIND OOT BY DRINKIN' IT!" :D Stranger: "oooookaaaaaayyyy.... ill have the red one, thank u. oh, do you know what this yellow green one is" You: >"NOOP! AND THAT'LL BE SIX GOLD PLEASE!" Stranger: u said 5, i'll give u 2 Stranger: sorry, 5 Stranger: *typo* You: >"I NEVER SAID THAT AT ALL, YOU MUST BE MISTAKOON!" Stranger: no no, just scroll upward thru our dialouge on ur screen, u'll see. here, u can use mine =P" Stranger: *is breaking the 4th wall allowed?* You: >"Look, you gonna buy the potion or not?" Stranger: "yes, for 5 gold" You: >"YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN. SEVEN GOLD IT IS! Stranger: give 5 GOLD You: >"Damn it. FINE!" You: >You got a RED POTION! Who knows what it does! Stranger: "thank u. oh, where am i, btw?" You: >"NO MORE QUESTIONS. GET OUT!" You: >Jumbigo kicks you out of his shop. Stranger: "okay, sheesh" Stranger: open DOOR, use CAMERA on Jumbigo's face You: >Jumbigo smiles as you flash the camera. "AHM BLIND ANYWAAAAY!" You: >Don't harass him, he has a laser gun. Stranger: "just wanted a picture for the wanted posters. see ya" Stranger: run thru DOOR You: >You are in a hallway. The hallway forks,with one fork going NORTHEAST and the other WEST. You can hear a voice cursing shoplifters to the west. Stranger: go NORTHEAST Stranger: think "this is fun" You: >The hallway continues for some time, but then you find yourself in a MASSIVE CHAMBER. There are CHURCH PEWS scattered through, mostly broken. There is a GOBLIN sleeping on one. Stranger: ready KNIFE You: >The goblin snores peacefully. Stranger: hold knife to goblins throat You: >"SNRR- Grp, bluh, ehhh?" It wakes up, tries to sit up, and cuts its own throat. You: >Erm... Stranger: aw, dang You: >You killed a Goblin! You: >I guess. Stranger: is that a good thing? Stranger: was he a bad goblin? You: >They're evil creatures that hate humans and want to eat them. Stranger: oh, well, they usually are, aren't they =P Stranger: okay, now EPIC LOOT THE GOBLINNNNNNN!! You: >The goblin has: One GOBLIN SWORD. One suit of GOBLIN CHAINMAIL. One SHEET OF TATTERED PAPER. Two DARTS. Stranger: *+2 longsword pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease* You: >No longsword for you. You: >>:D Stranger: =( Stranger: okay, try GOBLIN chainmail You: >It fits, but its incredibly smelly. Stranger: uugh, goblin reeek You: >Yes, it smells of various fluids that humans, fortunately, do not have. Stranger: nice Stranger: okay, equip goblin sword in main hand, torch in off-hand You: >The goblin sword is CURSED! You feel yourself beginning to feel... slimy. Like a SLIME! You: >YOU'RE TURNING INTO A SLIME, WHAT DO YOU DO? Stranger: aaaahm drop sword You: >You can't drop it. Stranger: drink potion (yellow green one) Stranger: *crossing fingers* You: >You feel lighter! Unfortunately, you just feel slimy and featherlight now. You: >You could try praying. Stranger: bollocks You: >It actually helps. Stranger: pray my ass off! Stranger: kneeling, hands folded, tears, the whole nine yards You: >You pray to your god, AMILIAYE THE LADY OF LILIES. She grants your wish, and stops the polymorph effect! Stranger: woooooot!!! You: >Also, a SCROLL falls from above. It is a scroll of BOUND LONGSWORD, which creates a temporary sword in your hands! Stranger: *brain implodes for a second* Stranger: drools ("longswooooooord, mmmm") Stranger: says "thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou" for five solid minuites" You: >Your goddess appreciates the sentiment, but reminds you that there was a goblin. There's probably more. Stranger: right Stranger: err, destroy cursed goblin sword? You: >It's no longer cursed. Stranger: AHA, then equip You: >You now have a SWORD and TORCH. Go forth, Oblivion player. Stranger: almost forgot, read TATTERED SHEET OF PAPER You: >It has terrible handwriting, but it says... "Lok wai oot. Gotts mus excap. Avoid Blak Towr." Stranger: hmmm Stranger: okay Stranger: GOING FORTH! Stranger: (ps, oblivion rules) You: >There is a DOUBLE DOOR here. It's barred from the inside. You: >You're inside. Stranger: right Stranger: carefully unbarr door You: >Something big moves outside. Stranger: rebarr door Stranger: (im a coward) You: >You re-bar the door, but there is no other obvious way out. Stranger: okay, dang it, unbarr and sneak thru the door You: >You could have looked around, but your choice... Stranger: naw, too much work Stranger: okay okay You: >Outside, there is a- You: >Aww. Stranger: what? WHAT!? You: >No, you're inside again. Stranger: lol, this is getting weird Stranger: search for alternative means of escape =D You: >You find a trapdoor under the altar. Stranger: sweet Stranger: i'm awesome You: >The trapdoor is strangely hot. Stranger: open trapdoor Stranger: oh well, try to open it just a little bit.. You: >You open the trapdoor. There is a LADDER leading DOWN, and something glows far below. You: >It's also surprisingly warm inside. Stranger: extinguish TORCH, start climbing slowly Stranger: and stealthily(?) You: >As you gow lower, you pass an upside door on the wall. Stranger: look thru keyhole You: >It's hard to see, but it looks like a smashed up house inside. Stranger: hmm, open door You: >The door swings inward, just as there is a CRACK of lightning, illuminating the house. It looks like something fell through the roof. Stranger: ready a dart and keep watching from the shadows You: >There is nothing moving. However, it begins to rain, and the whole place begins to drip. You can see outside, which appears to be an empty void full of stormclouds. Stranger: search smashed up house You: >You find plenty of smashed furniture, as well as a single BENT SPOON. There is a TV on in a nearby room to the EAST. Another door leads North. Stranger: go EAST Stranger: oh, and take spoon You: >You take the spoon and head EAST. The TV is flickering with static, occasionally showing a black-suited man whose mouth is moving. However, there is no sound. You: >The rest of the room is pitch-black, the windows covered in thick blinds. Stranger: light TORCH Stranger: waitaminuite. there are no tV's in oblivion Stranger: no cameras either You: >This isn't oblivion. Stranger: oh, okay You: >This is Nethack. Kinda. Stranger: =P Stranger: Nethack, right You: >The room is completely unharmed, save for the roof, which has several holes in it. There is also a MANGLED CORPSE in an armchair. Stranger: ooh You: >It's holding a pipe. Stranger: snactch PIPE You: >The corpse's grip is strong. You can't easily take it. Stranger: try harder You: >There's another flash of lightning, revealing a room to the NORTH as a DINING ROOM. Stranger: still want that PIPE Stranger: use KNIFE You: >You pull hard on the pipe, and the pipe comes free from the skinless hand. The corpse slumps forward. Stranger: jump back You: >The corpse remains dead. Stranger: *phew* You: >It wouldn't be too dangerous if it came back, lacking most of its flesh and all. Stranger: true, but skeletons can be nasty buggers as well... Stranger: wonder how he died? Stranger: anyways, go NORTH You: >It looks like a chronic case of FLAYING. And you go north. Stranger: ouch You: >Your torch illuminates the DINING ROOM. The table has food still on it, but it's rotten. Three more MANGLED CORPSES are sitting at the table, facedown with the back of their heads missing. You: >...This place is fuckin' creepy. Stranger: no no no no no, not Mind Flayers! I hate those guys! Stranger: shit, search the rooom You: >There's plenty in the way of cutlery and such, but curiously no spoons. Also, there is a fire extinguisher on the wall, but it's been cut in half. Stranger: i don't like where this is going... You: >Whatever do you mean? Stranger: what, dead guys with no brains, and all the spoons are missing. And i'm suspecting Mind Flayes, altho im not sure they woud du things like that.... Stranger: anyways, search for other exit You: >There are no other doors besides the one you entered through. Stranger: metagaming here, sry... You: >No problem. Stranger: okay, go back, and enter the last room i haven't tried You: >The room is completely black. As soon as you enter, your torch vanishes from your hand, but you can still feel it. Stranger: carp... You: >Something moves in the darkness. Stranger: back away You: >You reenter the smashed room, and your torch reappears in your hand. You: >The floor is now soaking wet. Stranger: okay, imma leave that shit alone, and try some more ladderclimbing You: >Down or up? Stranger: down Stranger: see what that glow is You: >You continue down. The heat is getting worse. You pass by another upside down door, this one painted purple. Stranger: try the keyhole again You: >You can see... The same room, but it's day. The roof is unsmashed, revealing it to have once been a kitchen. You: >Someone laughs inside. Stranger: hmmm, this is interesting Stranger: *sorry, i get carried carried away with stuff like this* Stranger: anyways, open the door You: >What do you call what I'm doing? I turned a trolling attempt into an entire game... You: >O_o Stranger: LOL Stranger: gotta love it tho Stranger: u got some serious DM skills tho You: >You enter the room. There's light coming in from the window, revealing an endless blue sky filled with clouds. Stranger: awww Stranger: try the TV room You: >An old man sits in the armchair, and he mutters something in a language you don't speak. The TV man is speaking english, however. "DO NOT BE ALARMED. HE IS OUR FRIEND," he repeats over and over. The old man throws a shoe at it, and the TV flickers slightly. Stranger: say "nice throw" You: >The old man doesn't seem to notice you. He yells something towards the dining room. Stranger: go to dining room You: >There are four people at the table. Two adults males, an adult female, and a teenage boy. All are discussing something quietly. Stranger: take a piece of food Stranger: im hungry You: >You pick up a piece of something that looks like beef. It reappears moments later, before being eaten by one of the people at the table and staying gone. They still don't notice you, but the teenager glances in your direction. Stranger: nod at him and say "hey man, wassup" You: >His eyes widen, and he quickly turns back to the conversation, ignoring you. Stranger: say "hey, you know you're all dead upstairs, right? I know u can hear me" Stranger: oh, and try to poke the nearest other person You: >The boy hesitantly pokes the adult male nearby, who glances at him in confusion. They talk for a moment, before the teenager abruptly gets up and walks away. Stranger: try to stop him You: >Your hand passes through. Stranger: whoa, acid Stranger: try touching another person You: >Nothing human is able to be touched, it appears. The table and all are fine, but they reset if moved. Stranger: hmm, follow the boy You: >Is this pit filled with happy gas...? Anyways, you follow the boy. He goes through the kitchen and stops at the NORTH door, which is now a hallway with a door to the outside. Stranger: say, "hey you. what's going on here" You: >The boy looks at you. "I don't know," he says, but in a voice much higher than you'd expect. "Who are you?" Stranger: "I'm nobody. Was just surfin the web, when suddenly i was here. Who are you?" You: >"I don't know." You: >The room is suddenly feeling very hot. Surprised shouts come from nearby. Stranger: INVESTIGATE! quickly... You: >The old man is on fire. Stranger: run to get fire extinguisher You: >The boy you were just talking to is standing beside it, holding a knife and cutting into it. He is also standing in front of the burning old man, with a match. He is also following you, screaming. Stranger: (and laugh a little at the image now in my head) Stranger: oh You: >Oh shit. Stranger: indeed Stranger: say"Stay the fuck back, dude!" and flourish my sword You: >He holds up his hands, eyes wide. "What's going on?" he yells, looking at the insanity. Both copies are gone. The three others are still at the table, talking and laughing as the old man wriths and screams in the chair, apparently unable to get up. Stranger: "I dunno what the hell was that?" Stranger: and then suprise him by taking a picture of him =P You: >He vanishes. Stranger: omg Stranger: start taking pictures of everybody You: >Brain hurting yet? Stranger: only a little You: >They don't seem to notice, but then there's a massive crash from the kitchen. The whole house shakes, and the lights go out. Stranger: go to kitchen Stranger: ignore burning granddad You: >He's dead now, no worries. Stranger: lol You: >There's a deformed, human-like creature in the kitchen, sprawled on the floor. It appears to have fallen through the roof. Stranger: check vitals You: >It has a knife and its eyes are scarred wrecks. It still breaths. Stranger: take knife, give red potion You: >The knife vanishes in your hand, but it doesn't reappear- The red potion is taking its place. Stranger: oh Stranger: does he drink it? You: >Suddenly, the creature rises, holding the red potion like a knife. Stranger: jump back You: >It looks around, making sounds from its twisted mouth, before taking the 'knife' and 'stabbing' it into its mouth. There's a flash of red. Stranger: ooh, i may have made a big doo doo Stranger: step back a little, ready dart You: >The creature falls backwards, thrashing wildly, its limbs twisting and shrinking. Before long, the teenager from before is laying on the floor, in a tattered hospital gown. His hair is also much longer, and cut raggedly in places. Stranger: what the... Stranger: check vitals.... again... You: >He appears... unconcious. And, also female. What? Stranger: wut You: >What is correct. You: >Something's off here. Stranger: yes Stranger: yes it is Stranger: poke girl gently You: >S\he doesn't move. You: >The TV begins to make sounds again, and the sun is setting. Stranger: pick up girl You: >Your hands pass through her. Stranger: dang You: >There's a soft thud from the dining room, and two more in quick succession. Stranger: draw sword, investigate You: >You enter the room and You: >You're in darkness. Your torch is in your hand, but it's not lit. Stranger: light it in the blink of an eye Stranger: like, literaly 0.087 seconds You: >You light it in the same mysterious way you did last time. The darkness around you is gone, revealing... a bedroom. The walls are covered in pictures of the family who is now dead, all of them colored in with crayons and markers. The bed is broken in half in the middle, a bloody knife stabbed into the wall beside it. Stranger: search room You: >You find an EMPTY PICTURE FRAME on a desk, as well as a NEEDLE. Stranger: ghar, hard to keep track Stranger: okay, replace bloody knife with bendt spoon You: >In the wall? Stranger: sure, why not You: >Eh, sure- Wait, it's not bent anymore? Stranger: *brain hurtz nao* Stranger: oooookaaaaayyy You: >Brain really hurts now? Stranger: go insane for a few seconds You: >You go briefly insane, and you feel someone pat you on the back. Stranger: iiih Stranger: epic dodge away, and spin around to face... whatever You: >Nothing else is in the room, but there's now a door in the wall behind you. It's slightly ajar. Stranger: seeing as i'm temporarily a few kittens short of a litter, i kick the door open and shout "CARROTS!" You: >There's a staircase here, and you see a glimpse of something disappearing down it. Someone responds, "...and rice?" Stranger: scream "NO! WITH POTATOES AND MOTHERFUCKING ROCKET FUEL!" and charge down the stairs You: >You're in the entrance hall. The front door slams shut. Stranger: *btw, let me know when im no longer insane, will ya?* You: >You're no longer insane. Stranger: *phew being insane is hard. But fun!* Stranger: entance hall? with the dead goblin and altar and stuff? You: >No, the front hallway of the house. Stranger: oh You: >Let's not be any more crazy. Stranger: crap You: >The kitchen is completely pitch black, like the hallway was before. Stranger: oh, right You: >Only one way to go... Stranger: GO! You: >The door opens to... a sky. The sun has nearly set, despite the fact that no horizon is apparent. Stranger: no ground? You: >A series of floating pieces of wood- No, church pews... They lead a path to where the sun cuts off. You: >No, no ground. Stranger: okay, try to step on the pews You: >It's completely solid. You: >The path leads on. Stranger: okay, follow pews to the sun (okay, that sounded weird) You: >It IS wierd. And you follow along, before you step on one that slides away under you. You fail out, and grasp a ladder rung. You're back in the tunnel leading down, close to the light- Now revealed to be a red-orange ball of fire, the sun. It seems to twist, forming briefly a vague, wrinkled face, before returning to normal. Stranger: trippy You: >There's a final door here, a grey steel one. It might be upside down, but it's hard to tell. Stranger: open the DOOOOOOORRRRR! You: >It's a hospital, sanitary and white-grey. Rows of beds line the wall. Stranger: say "Hello!" You: >Several faces turn to look at you. All are as gender ambiguous as the person you met before. You: >They look at each other in confusion, muttering in another language. Stranger: figures... Stranger: err, look around? Stranger: no, SEARCH! You: >The room is empty except for the people and their beds. A door leads outside. Stranger: exit thru door You: >You are now in a hallway. A few nurses pass by you, almost fearfully. They're wheeling past expensive looking equipment with wooden parts and strange symbols carved on them. Stranger: stop a nurse You: >The nurse shakes her head, trying to get out of your grip. You: >There's a sudden scream from down the hallway, slowly petering out into a gutteral groan. Stranger: *i suddenly visualized the fact that i'm wearing shoddy, reeking armor and carrying a torch and a sword inside a hospital =P* Stranger: run to the rescue! You: >No wonder they're creeped out by you. Stranger: indeed You: >You find a door guarded by a goblin, dressed in chainmail. However, it looks different from the one you saw before, namely that it looks more human. Stranger: whaaaattt!? You: >It will all make a bit more sense soon. Well, not really. Stranger: i say "hey you, buddy, how ya doin?" You: >It stares at you, and mutters something, before looking pointedly at your armor. Stranger: "sorry, didn't catch that. you said you did what to what cat now?" You: >It wrinkles its nose and points inside, gesturing for you to go in. It looks impatient. Stranger: "oh no, i want some answers first. what is this place, what is going on, and who the fuck is in this room?" You: >The goblin can't understand you. Stranger: stupid useless creature Stranger: enter door Stranger: carefully You: >There is an operating table, and from it a groove leading to a drain. A machine is hooked up to the table, and a single white-jacketed man stands nearby, watching as it works. The boy or girl you met earlier is strapped to the machine, his\her features twisting out of shape. Stranger: close the door Stranger: and barr it with something You: >I laughed at that. XD Stranger: lol You: >The scientist notices you, and speaks. "How long have you been watching?" Stranger: "never u mind that. what in the blazing undergarments of beelzebub himself are you doing?! stop it!" You: >"I'm making them strong. I'm their friend, I have to." He steps forward, placing a hand on the person's forehead, and she begins to scream. "They are spirits of protection. Hobgotts, they are called. Or, as it has been called, Hobgoblins. Not accurate, of course." Stranger: "you let this person go this instant, or i am gonna go medieval on you. actually, i might anyway" You: >The scientist shrugs, stepping aside. "Free it yourself." Stranger: look at the doctor guy quizzically Stranger: "just like that?" You: >"It's done, there's no problem with letting it go now." The thrashing has subsided, but she looks normal again. Stranger: point sword at doctor-guy Stranger: "u tell me exactly what u are doing here, right now" You: >"Making them strong," he says, and presses a button. The restraints snap, the world twists, and- You: >A match, used to light a pipe- The girl sees it, sees what it can do, how he can't get up... You: >A knife, for the kitchen. It can cut. There are humans. You: >Humans are ours. You: >Blood everywhere... But then something it isn't blood, it's a burning draught that singes the throat, makes us remember... You: >The girl wakes up in the shattered ruins of her home, the remains of her goblin-self melting away. She watches, unseen in the rain, as a person in armor and carrying a sword heads for the darkness. You: >She steps forward, watching the torch go out, watching the person stumble away. Something moves in there, but its' impossible to see... Stranger: oh, darn... You: >You wake up too, back to that time. But now you're awake. Stranger: hmm? Stranger: sorry, where am i? You: >The darkness vanishes, revealing a creature, formless and massive, a fleshy tower in the ruins of the sky outside. You: >"The tower. The Gotts go to the tower. They become the tower." The girl is standing nearby, knife in her hand again. Stranger: say "hey, you alright?" You: >"I'm fine now. But we can't stay here. That tower is the guardian of this place, and we don't belong." Stranger: say (manly) "okay then. you stay here, where it's safe. I'll go kill that tower!" You: >With what? Stranger: i have a limited time use of a longsword? You: >And a torch. You: >FIRE AND STEEEEEEEL Stranger: and RAAAAAAAAAAGE! Stranger: okay, ask girl "errr, how do i kill the tower?" You: >Actually, that should work. You: >It's made of flesh. You: >BURN IT. Stranger: okay, lets get to BBQ'in Stranger: and some hackin' Stranger: gotta have some hackin' =P You: >The tower looms ahead of you, a path of wreckage and ruins leading up towards it. You can see, at the top, a building very much like a small hospital. Stranger: BURN IT! Stranger: and, you know, hack 'n slash a little... Stranger: at least poke it with my sword... Stranger: oh crap, wait! Stranger: there are people in the hospital Stranger: =O Stranger: no? You: >You charge up the path, heading towards the top. As you get closer, you see that the Tower is made, literally, of thousands of human or goblin bodies, still living but stitched together. You: >You know who caused this, right? You: >Bastard scientist type. Like Gendo minus the cool sunglasses. Stranger: LOL Stranger: gonna go kill him Stranger: then his tower Stranger: climb icky tower You: >The Tower rejects you. You barely manage to grab onto a floating object. Stranger: floating? Stranger: can i surf i up there? You: >Can't hurt to try. Stranger: TRY Stranger: ING You: >Do, or do not. There is no try. Stranger: then DO, cuz i havent sworded anybody to death yet, and i really wanna... You: >YOU DO. Stranger: WOOT! Stranger: *this looks EPIC in my head, btw* You: >The object beneath you (a wall, fyi) responds to your will, rising like a bird. Around you, the Tower screams, its constituent parts whipping out to try and stop you. Stranger: DODGE You: >YOU DODGE. The corpses, flailing, miss you, swiping above and below. A goblin leaps forward, holding a fleshy sword, but you just ram it aside. The top draws near. Stranger: *hum awesome theme song* Stranger: okay, i hum my theme song and make a really cool entrance to the hospital You: >The bed room is empty, all the beds gone. The wall is broken open, allowing you to enter through there. You: >A few of the nurses are nearby, but they appear to be unmoving. You: >There's a door to the HALLWAY (since north is confusing right now).  Stranger: okay, go through door You: >The hallway is broken up, the floor cracked and uneven. The room at the end is still the same, although the goblin who stood guard... Oh, wait, he's still there, just a fleshy pillar. You: >It looks at you, unable to move beyond that. Stranger: try not to laugh at him and enter last room Stranger: no wait. Stranger: poke him too You: >It glares at you. Stranger: giggle, and move on Stranger: but give him a goodbye boot to the behind Stranger: muahahahahahaha You: >It doesn't go anywhere. Stranger: doesn't matter, just wanted to kick something Stranger: =P Stranger: movng on You: >Into the room? Stranger: yup Stranger: i say something really badass that im too tired to think of right now! You: >You do. Stranger: and then, i stab him Stranger: in the balls You: >... You: >PFFFT. You: >XD You: >Sure, why not? Stranger: and i leave the sword in there, and take a picture =D You: >And what do you do then? Stranger: er... ask him if he has any last words? You: >He stares blankly and dies. There's... no real way to follow that up. Stranger: oooh, death from ballstabbing... Stranger: that must have been.... not... pleasant... You: >You kinda just surfed up a giant, demonic tower on a wall and stabbed him in the crotch just before he ascended to godhood, which you would have known if you'd given enough time for exposition. You: > He probably died from WTF. :P Stranger: oh Stranger: lolol Stranger: but he was evil, so fuck him Stranger: but, can u imagine You: No, and I don't want to. Stranger: here u are, about to ascend, and here some random fucker just comes in, kicks ur guard in the butt, and just plan fucking stabs u inn Stranger: the fucking balls! Stranger: bummer of the milennia, man... XD You: >You win! You saved... Erm... You: >Well, you saved ONE of them. You: >The rest are kinda boned. Stranger: men, this has to be rated as one of the more absurd climaxes to a totally random RP session ever You: >... Stranger: oh, well, one is good =D right? right? You: >Yeah. You: >Better than none! And at least it's a chick. Probably. Stranger: oh, yipee... Stranger: anyways, what happens to the tower? You: You burn it. Stranger: oh right Stranger: but, but... Stranger: i didn't even get to use my one-time epic longsword.. You: I've got to go actually... I'd drag this out longer, but unfortunately... You: D: Stranger: ah, well... You: I was gonna have the scientist revive, and absorb all of the Tower to become a god, and then you'd use the longsword to carve him into pork chops. You: But then worse shit would happen, and you'd find out where that church place was, and why you were here. Stranger: that would have been..... Stranger: sorry, i have no word to descrice it Stranger: =P You: But I was making it up as I went along anyways, so I'd probably have made it up as I went along. You: ... You: YEP. Stranger: oh well, ill just get the girl (i am making her a girl, damn you, and a hot one at that) burn the fucking thing to the ground, and live happily ever after =D Stranger: piece of cake! You: Nice. You: Well, see ya. Or... Not. Stranger: thank you Stranger: thanks for the totally unexpectet, but amazingly awesome adventure on frikkin omegle You: By the way, you ever hear about someone with the username

Hydrall... That's me. You: And you're welcome' You: TROPER OUT. You have disconnected.

edited 10th Oct '10 1:43:44 PM by Hydrall

ThatChickWithPurpleHair from Glorious Alabama Since: Oct, 2010
#367: Oct 10th 2010 at 1:32:58 PM

Ok I did better this time: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying. Stranger: hey

You: Do you recognize the Muffin Man as your soverign?

Stranger: nope

You: I see good then you are one of us.

Stranger: lol

You: Spread the message to your contact, the codeword is Ginger bread man.

You: The revolution shall begin.

Stranger: ok

You: Good good, I do have a mission for you though agent.

Stranger: whats that?

You: We must rescue the bubble gum queen!

You: She is being held prisoner in the Muffin mas dungeon.

You: Its up to you to save her.

Stranger: ok

Stranger: how?

You: All you have to do is take this grapling hook, and invisibility cloak, and Ill walk you through the rest.

You: Ready?

Stranger: sure

You: Alright tell me when you get to his castle.

Stranger: i am in.....

You: Good now just-Look out agent!! behind you!!!

Stranger: oops...

You: Agent?! Are you injured?

You: That guard looked nasty

Stranger: not really.....i am strong enough

You: Good, now you just need to sneak down to her majestys cell.

You: Watch out for dogs, they love the taste of blood.

Stranger: i am there

You: Alright get the queen, where is she....she's gone!

You: DAMN IT WE'RE TO LATE!

Stranger: no no..she's right here......

Stranger: hiding in the closet

You: Oh thank goodness

You: for a minute there i thought...

Stranger: yeah....i got her...what now?

You: Damn my shout alerted the guards!

You: Grab the queen and run Ill hold them off!!

Stranger: mission over....yippy

You: Back you bastards!!!!

Stranger: ....!!!!

You: Yes it was a success.

edited 10th Oct '10 1:34:04 PM by ThatChickWithPurpleHair

Doin' what I can with what I got.
Hydrall Since: Jun, 2009
#368: Oct 10th 2010 at 1:44:01 PM

DAMMIT

Why isn't my post working? T_T

ThatChickWithPurpleHair from Glorious Alabama Since: Oct, 2010
#369: Oct 10th 2010 at 2:14:36 PM

Hydrall, I tip my hat to you sir.

Doin' what I can with what I got.
Hydrall Since: Jun, 2009
#370: Oct 10th 2010 at 2:26:50 PM

It'd be much better if markup worked on it.

ThatChickWithPurpleHair from Glorious Alabama Since: Oct, 2010
#371: Oct 10th 2010 at 3:12:05 PM

Ok I've got one more then I'll give it a rest for now:

Stranger: hi 16-f-WI

You: Was it you?

Stranger: ??

You: It was you wasn't it? WASN'T IT?!!

Stranger: who the hell r u

You: YOU KILLED JOHNY YOU BASTARD!!!

Stranger: lol

Stranger: ur weird

You: What did he ever do to you?!!!

You: HUH?!!

Stranger: this is too funnny

You: YOU THINK MURDER IS FUNNY?!!!

Stranger: i think ur insane

Stranger: which is funnah

You: Well then lets ask black mombas opinion.

You: Oh did I forget to mention black momba has a sniper riffle trained on your head?

Stranger: ur crazy

You: Johnys death will be AVENGED!!

Stranger: Johnny*

Stranger: two n's buddy

Stranger: :)

You: DAMN MY SPELLING!

Stranger: btw ur acting sucks

You: Nah but seriously I like to act wierd on omegle but you seem cool so Ill stop.

Stranger: lol

Stranger: u made me laugh

Stranger: it was funny

You: It was interesting wasnt it

Stranger: at first i was like

Stranger: wtf

You: Hey you wanna play a game?

Stranger: O.O

Stranger: that sounds like a horror movie start

Stranger: lol

You: I should warn you its weird too

You: lol

Stranger: im not choosing if i die or someone else dies

Stranger: :P

You: Haha no thats a different game for naughty children this is something else

You: Ready?

Stranger: sure??

You: You are PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE, the castle is under attack. What do you do?

Stranger: lol

Stranger: i beat them with my cane

You: "LOL" you bellow this does not detur the attack.

Stranger: then i go all gay on them so they run away

You: You flail your cane wildly this hits several death eaters as well as students.

You: You declare your sexual preference loudly. This causes raised eyebrows.

Stranger: i become like MJ :O

You: VOLDEMORT has arrived. "Dumbledore my old friend."

You: Your face contorts into an :O shape, scaring several children.

You: VOLDEMORT begins to KILL. The students are screaming.

Stranger: i go gay on voldemort and he likes it

You: VOLDEMORT is initialy shocked at you for trying to RAPE him, then he finds he quite ENJOYS it. The students cover their eyes.

Stranger: then me and voldemort marry and live happily ever after

You: The remaining DEATHEATERS give up after witnissing this and leave QUIETLY. The children cheer, eyes still closed.

You: Eh? Wadda you think?

You: Fun game right?

Stranger: that was funny as funny

Stranger: hell*

You: haha yes indeed

Stranger: asl???????????????????????????????????????????

You: Well good sir or madam I must depart.

Stranger: kk

Stranger: im chick

You: Haha fair well

You have disconnected.

Doin' what I can with what I got.
TheQueenofDark Since: Jul, 2010
#372: Oct 15th 2010 at 6:23:14 PM

Mine are usually short since I have no patience, but:

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: Pills?
Stranger: huh?
Stranger: you want some pills?
You: Go get them boy!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: Hi.
Stranger: asl
You: France?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: i wana chat with a Horny F...Are you Horny F? if not interested then disconnect.
You: Me like horny things...
Stranger: ASL?
You: Gap/Female/Everywhere
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

edited 15th Oct '10 6:36:30 PM by TheQueenofDark

Mistress of headdesks and facepalms
AddyThePawnSlayer Caissa's DeathAngel from Glasgow Since: Jan, 2001
Caissa's DeathAngel
#373: Oct 15th 2010 at 6:43:33 PM

Can't remember my longer ones, so here's some quickies that I do remember.

  • Stranger: I get to have sex for the first time on Tuesday!
  • You: Congratulations, I'm sure she's a very lucky horse!
Your conversational partner has disconnected

  • Stranger: ASL?
  • You: 85/m/your pants?
Your conversational partner has disconnected

  • Stranger: m/f?
  • You: Both
  • You: You?
Your conversational partner has disconnected

edited 15th Oct '10 6:44:04 PM by AddyThePawnSlayer

Would you kill your best friend, can you save yourself?
MikeK Since: Jan, 2001
#374: Oct 15th 2010 at 6:57:09 PM

A Xavier B kind of reminded me of one I posted to my blog once. Not sure if I was being trolled or what, but:

Stranger: Heya
Stranger: whats up
You: hi. not too much, you?
Stranger: Honestly, I'm hitting up a relative for money and I'm talking to you with an aunt next to me
Stranger: she's pretty fascinated by omegle and tech in general
Stranger: she's kind of one of those people who thinks facebook is advanced
You: Oh, cool. Um, say hi to her for me, I guess?
Stranger: She wants to know if you're black
You: Nope.
Stranger: Wow she said
Stranger: she said you give off "nigger vibes" whatever that means
You: haha, interesting
Stranger: lol yeah
Stranger: bye
You: bye

edited 15th Oct '10 6:57:46 PM by MikeK

640k Bootmii from California Since: Aug, 2010
Bootmii
#375: Oct 23rd 2010 at 5:47:01 PM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: Hi!

Stranger: ovaries

You: stop it

Stranger: No u

You: You're the one who said something inappropriate

Stranger: That's not inappropriate.

Stranger: You're inappropriate

You: GET LOST

Stranger: You need to grow up.

Stranger: Stop acting like a child.

You: And I happen to BE a child

You: stranger?

Stranger: Maybe you shouldn't be on the internet, if you're so concerned about inappropriate subjects.

You: i am not

You: but trolling?

Stranger: Aparently you are, making such a big deal over internal organs.

You: :D

Stranger: "omg, you said 'kidney', that's inappropriate"

Stranger: derp

You: wouldn't do THAT

You: it's just sex

Stranger: It's not sex, it's an internal organ.

You: of the reproductive system

Stranger: You're being childish.

You: i AM a child

Stranger: Kidneys are connected to reproductive organs. Are you going to throw a fit about that?

You have disconnected.

edited 23rd Oct '10 5:48:05 PM by 640k

GENERATION 20: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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