TVTropes Now available in the app store!
Open

Follow TV Tropes

Following

Funny Omegle Conversation Repository

Go To

GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#326: Mar 3rd 2010 at 9:55:11 PM

Epitome of lame: (paraphrased)

Stranger: are you a girl with a webcam?
You: no
You: sorry
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Electivirus Since: Jan, 2001
#327: Mar 3rd 2010 at 10:23:10 PM

Horny old men, the lot of them. Except the guy I talked to. Pretty cool conversation.

Tofu gtfo Steve from Minecraft Since: Jan, 2001
gtfo Steve
#328: Mar 5th 2010 at 4:45:12 AM

I'm gonna troll the horny old men when I get back from Alice In Wonderland tonight.

be warned, user is known affectionately as The Sneakiest Bastard
Iverum from outside the key Since: Jun, 2009
#329: Mar 20th 2010 at 12:31:00 AM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Hi You: You know. You: Space isn't cold. Stranger: huh? Stranger: do u have a myspace? You: Not anymore. Stranger: oh Stranger: how old r u You: It's for lower class people, ya know? You: Old enough. Stranger: bitch noeeeee!

Urg, markup fail.

edited 20th Mar '10 12:34:03 AM by Iverum

dysfunctional human artistry
AXavierB Since: Jan, 2001
#330: Mar 20th 2010 at 1:10:02 AM

I just went on Omegle and met a girl named Jessica. Got her phone number, apparently, but I'm scared if I call to say hi it'll be a creepy old man.

EDIT: Wait, WTF. (212) 123-4567. That's totally fake, isn't it?

edited 20th Mar '10 1:23:40 AM by AXavierB

Iverum from outside the key Since: Jun, 2009
Iverum from outside the key Since: Jun, 2009
#333: Mar 20th 2010 at 2:46:22 AM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Quack Stranger: bark You: Moo Stranger: meow You: Falafel Stranger: pita Stranger: ha Stranger: got ya Stranger: peace out You: You surprised me. Your conversational partner has disconnected.

dysfunctional human artistry
TheJackal Lurker from the UK Since: Dec, 2009
Lurker
#334: Mar 20th 2010 at 2:56:37 AM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m or f?
You: Neither
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Iverum from outside the key Since: Jun, 2009
#335: Mar 20th 2010 at 3:05:01 AM

^ Done that so many times tonight.

I was just called a jerk by a 42 year old man for not being a 13 year old girl.

dysfunctional human artistry
Morven Nemesis from Seattle, WA, USA Since: Jan, 2001
Nemesis
#336: Mar 20th 2010 at 3:05:44 AM

Ew.

A brighter future for a darker age.
TheJackal Lurker from the UK Since: Dec, 2009
Lurker
#337: Mar 20th 2010 at 3:12:39 AM

^^ That's very creepy. Very creepy indeed.

edited 20th Mar '10 3:12:56 AM by TheJackal

Iverum from outside the key Since: Jun, 2009
#338: Mar 20th 2010 at 3:14:29 AM

Well, to put it in context I did tell him I was at first. And he was very eager to talk to me about my sleeping problems. When I said I wasn't he changed his tone.

dysfunctional human artistry
daisythings Juice drinker from sunshine meadows Since: Sep, 2009
Juice drinker
#339: Mar 22nd 2010 at 4:44:46 PM

sorry messed up the post but imagine cybersex where i randomly keep accusing the girl of things like being made of snail slime.

edited 22nd Mar '10 4:48:41 PM by daisythings

red rum red rum red rum red rum
Tzetze DUMB from a converted church in Venice, Italy Since: Jan, 2001
DUMB
#340: Mar 23rd 2010 at 9:46:49 PM

One that I had a while ago. Not that funny, but interesting.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello.
Stranger: Hiya!
You: How are you?
Stranger: Pretty good, a little tired is all. How are you?
You: About the same.
You: I only use this site late at night for whatever reason.
Stranger: Haha, I know!
Stranger: Me too!
Stranger: Usually gives me a couple laughs before bed :P
You: Ah, I suppose.
You: I'm really bad at trolling though. I'm too much of a straight man, comedywise.
Stranger: Ah, well, most of the laughs for me come when I mention I'm a girl and the stranger gets all excited and everything
You: ZOMG REALLY?!
You: Yeah, I can imagine.
You: Stupid internet. I really wish the tits or gtfo attitude would up and die.
Stranger: Ha, yeah
Stranger: It's like, yes, I'm a girl, no, I don't want to show you pictures of myself, no, I don't want to meet up with you wherever you live, goodbye :P
You: Egh. They should just hit on people in real life.
You: You don't have to ask for pictures or nuthin'.
Stranger: Well, you CAN
Stranger: It's just even... weirder....
You: Huh?
Stranger: Go up to someone in real life and ask them for pictures of themselves :P
You: ah. Hey, that would be pretty funny...
You: Walk up to a girl, "tits or gtfo!"
You: Mindfuckery.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: I'm not sure how I'd react to that.
You: I'm wondering how to pronounce "gtfo".
You: Gitfo?
You: Geeteeeffoh?
Stranger: Yeah, that's how I'd imagine it.
You: Former or latter?
Stranger: Latter
You: Ah. Yeah, but you'd sound more losery that way.
You: ...
You: Now I'm imagining all sorts of stuff. "ASL?" to strangers on the street.
Stranger: I'd say ship has sailed by the point where you're saying that :P
You: Replicate that authentic Omegle experience OUTSIDE the cyberwebnet!
Stranger: People would just think you're a deaf guy looking for someone to talk to!
You: oh
You: hm
You: You know I've heard that wearing a blindfold all day is an interesting experience
You: just acting blind.
Stranger: I suppose it would be interesting
You: ...
So have you had any interesting conversations here?
Stranger: Not really :P
You: aside from titquests, I ean.
You: *mean
You: Aw, that's too bad. Been using the site long?
Stranger: Nope, I've just popped on now and then before bed for some reason
Stranger: Usually while I'm doing other stuff like chatting with friends and looking up news
You: ah.
You: Why do you use this site? (I like asking people that...)
You: Just for fun?
Stranger: Pretty much
You: Seems to be the consensus.
You: Not many people looking for friends, which seems appropriate given the high volume of asl.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: It's a fun place to go to get over that "don't talk to strangers" rule from a safe place :P
You: Mm, good point. Much better than somewhere mean like 4chan, as well. Worst people here are bots or so banal that they might as well be bots.
Stranger: The bots are the fun ones! Just start spouting really random conversation topics!
You: Bleh. Only ones I've seen just paste facebook profiles with half-naked women in 'em
Stranger: Oh, I thought you were talking ones that post conversations and such
You: Never seen those.
Stranger: Or maybe I just think they're bots because they all say pretty much the same thing
You: I'd prefer a Marko V Chaney, yeah.
You: I've taken to assuming that all of the asl ones are actually one person who is stalking me.
Stranger: Well that's really creepy :P
You: Makes it more fun, really.
You: Sometimes I yell at them
You: NO
You: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU
You: YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!
You: I MAKE THE SIGN OF THE LATERAL CROSS
You: AAAAAAAAAAA
You: *disconnect*
Stranger: Hmm, yeah, I need to think up some good responses to those guys
Stranger: One guy started out with something like "m/19/whatever with cam" and I responded with like "13/f/whatever with FBI agent" and that shut down the conversation real quick
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: "If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it."
You: That gave me a spook...
Stranger: How did you?
You: T Hat popped up when you mentioned the F Bi
Stranger: Oh, weird
Stranger: I didn't see it until you mentioned FBI in your post
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: ...
You: Again.
You: That's so weird.
You: I guess it happens a lot, then.
Stranger: Haha
You: fbi
You: Does it work for lowercase?
Connection imploded.

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
Starbound2 Since: Jan, 2001
#341: Mar 24th 2010 at 7:08:55 PM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Stranger: TO DEFEAT THE HUNS

You: DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS

You: WHEN I ASKED FOR SONS

Stranger: YOU'RE THE SADDEST BUNCH

Stranger: I EVER MET

You: BUT YOU CAN BET

You: BEFORE WE'RE THROUGH

Stranger: MISTER I'LL...

Stranger: MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOUUUUU

You: TRANQUIL AS THE FOREST

You: BUT A FIRE WITHIN

Stranger: ONCE YOU FIND YOUR CENTER

Stranger: YOU ARE SURE TO WIN

You: YOU'RE A SPINELESS, PALE

You: PATHETIC LOT

Stranger: AND YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE

Stranger: SOME HOW I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOUUUU

You: I'M NEVER GONNA CATCH MY BREATH

Stranger: SAY GOODBYE TO THOSE WHO KNEW ME

You: BOY, WAS I FOOL IN SCHOOL FOR CUTTING GYM

Stranger: THIS GUY'S GOT 'EM SCARED TO DEATH

You: HOPE HE DOESN'T SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME

Stranger: NOW I REALLY WISH I KNEW HOW TO SWIM

You: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN

Stranger: WE MUST SWIFT AS THE COURSING RIVER

You: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN

Stranger: WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON

You: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN

Stranger: WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE

You: MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

Stranger: TIME IS RACING TOWARD US

Stranger: TILL THE HUNS ARRIVE

You: HEED MY EVERY ORDER

You: AND YOU MIGHT SURVIVE

Stranger: YOU'RE UNSUITED FOR THE RAGE OF WAR

You: SO PACK UP, GO HOME, YOU'RE THROUGH

Stranger: HOW COULD I MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOUUUUUUU?

You: BE A MAAAAAAAAN

Stranger: WE MUST BE SWIFT AS THE COURSING RIVER

You: BE A MAAAAAAAAN

Stranger: WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON

You: BE A MAAAAAAAAAN

Stranger: WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF RAGING FIRE

You: MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

Stranger: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN

You: WE MUST BE SWIFT AS THE COURSING RIVER

Stranger: BE A MAAAAAAAN

You: WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON

Stranger: BE A MAAAAAN

You: WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE

Stranger: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN

You: MYSERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

Stranger: I love you. :D

You: Thanks.

You: I am quite fond of you myself.

You have disconnected.

calieber Since: Dec, 1969
#342: Mar 25th 2010 at 3:31:22 PM

@Tzetze: I wonder if they've had a problem with users claiming to report their strangers to the Feds (and then those strangers contacting Omegle central to complain all "I didn't even do anything!")

Tzetze DUMB from a converted church in Venice, Italy Since: Jan, 2001
Solstace Hexachordal Combinatorial from the Second Viennese School Since: Dec, 1969
Hexachordal Combinatorial
#344: Mar 25th 2010 at 3:50:21 PM

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey baby
You: HELP!
Stranger: what's wrong?
You: I've been sold into the illegal sex trade, and I need you to call my parents to let them know I'm alive!
You: (360) 775-3459  *
Your conversational partner has disconnected.\\

Ecstasy is Sustained Intensity
Digirod WHAT THE SHINING JEBUS Since: May, 2009
WHAT THE SHINING JEBUS
#345: Apr 1st 2010 at 9:54:11 AM

Stranger: Before we start, where are you from? You: America. Stranger: Incest and white trash hillbilly, lol.

AgentNomnomJayden (´∀`) from secret eff bee eye base Since: Mar, 2010
(´∀`)
#346: Apr 1st 2010 at 10:35:28 AM

I apparently have 14 omegle chatlogs saved on my computers from last summer.

I think log #13 pretty much sums up my feelings regarding 99% of the people you bump into there:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey are you girl want webcam sex on msn ?
You: Yeah well fuck you too
You have disconnected.

edited 1st Apr '10 10:37:17 AM by AgentNomnomJayden

JESUS CHRIST IT'S THE FEDS GET IN THE CAR
polymphus Since: Dec, 2019
#347: Apr 2nd 2010 at 4:58:30 PM

My main problem with omegle is that it actually drives me to troll. If someone's funny or interesting I'll talk to them, but the sheer number of "girl wit wbcam?!1" that comes up just drives me to the point of insanity. I've taken to leading them along for a while them throwing goatse or the like at them. Unoriginal, but it makes me feel better.

...

Anyway. I had an epic conversation about how great bacon is. Wish I'd recorded it. We also decided "Bear with a Machine Gun" is the best band name ever.

Also, pretending to the the Slender Man usually gets blank stares but is occasionally hilarious. "YOU WILL TAKE US TOTHEARK" is a great opening line. I've also created a persona called "Agent 5" who's looking for Agent 13, who is in mortal peril. Here's a log.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Agent 13!

You: Thank God!

You: You need to get out now. The institute are on their way!

Stranger: IM ON THE TOILET TAKING THE BIGGEST SHIT OF MY LIFE

You: No time for Shitting!

Stranger: I CANTTT

You: You need to run!

Stranger: but!!...

You: Don't get caught with your pants down 13, you're better than that!

Stranger: i cant its only halfway out

You: Push dammit!

You: Push like you're giving birth!

You: 13?

You: Are you there?

You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Stranger: okokok

You: Oh good. Is it coming?

You: Nearly done?

Stranger: waitttt

You: Oh shit, they're sending in Heinrich

Stranger: ok its out

You: Then run!

You: They've got tanks!

Stranger: i am

Stranger: omfggggg

You: Ok, meet me at the waterworks

Stranger: kk

You: I think we're safe there

Stranger: wait no they"ve got it blocked

You: What? How?

You: Shit, it's Christoph isn't it?

You: That rat bastard! I should've known.

Stranger: there are troops everywhere i cant get there

You: Ok, we need a backup plan.

You: Ideas?

Stranger: yes

Stranger: ummm

You: ohshitthey'reinthebuilding

You: GENTLEMEN

You: WE HAVE PLAYED THIS GAME TOO LONG

You: CONTROL IS BEING TAKEN FROM YOU

Stranger: ah fuck they foundzzz meh. i is dead nao

You: PREPARE FOR PROCESSING

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

edited 2nd Apr '10 5:35:42 PM by polymphus

krrackknut Not here, look elsewhere from The empty Aether. Since: Jan, 2001
Not here, look elsewhere
#348: Apr 2nd 2010 at 5:13:36 PM

I had a great conversation about philosophy, our families, and the nature of the world on my very first try, and I really wished I'd knew how to save it.

Also told her to try out tvtropes.org. Wonder if she did.

An useless name, a forsaken connection.
polymphus Since: Dec, 2019
#349: Apr 2nd 2010 at 5:27:28 PM

I am confused.

You: Agent 13! Thank got it's you!

You: You're just in time!

Stranger: how old. gender and location

You: The institute's on their way!

Stranger: 11 girl usa

You: You need to get out now!

You: 18/m/New Zealand :p

You: No wait. 19 now

You: I always forget my birthday

Stranger: no i do not listen to you or your freaking mother

You: ...

You: I see.

Stranger: you should not be telling me what to do you perve

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm really confused. Is Pretending to be a young girl then calling the person a perv a meme now? I foolishly thought she was telling the truth and was trying to be nice. sad

Tachi Spoiler Alert from the Shadows Since: Mar, 2010
Spoiler Alert
#350: Apr 2nd 2010 at 6:36:39 PM

Haha, I never knew this site existed before tonight. So far I've had a couple of the asl conversation, and one guy who went CRAZY and wrote als.

The most epic conversation I've had so far contained Harry Potter references, smiting in ye olde English, a discussion whether ducks or geese are coolest, a proposal, a ring with duck and goose-shit inside it, and declarations of eternal love. And now I realize I don't even know what gender the stranger was.

Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango?

Total posts: 427
Top