I'm gonna troll the horny old men when I get back from Alice In Wonderland tonight.
be warned, user is known affectionately as The Sneakiest BastardYou're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Hi You: You know. You: Space isn't cold. Stranger: huh? Stranger: do u have a myspace? You: Not anymore. Stranger: oh Stranger: how old r u You: It's for lower class people, ya know? You: Old enough. Stranger: bitch noeeeee!
Urg, markup fail.
edited 20th Mar '10 12:34:03 AM by Iverum
dysfunctional human artistry^ Done that so many times tonight.
I was just called a jerk by a 42 year old man for not being a 13 year old girl.
dysfunctional human artistryWell, to put it in context I did tell him I was at first. And he was very eager to talk to me about my sleeping problems. When I said I wasn't he changed his tone.
dysfunctional human artistryOne that I had a while ago. Not that funny, but interesting.
You: Hello.
Stranger: Hiya!
You: How are you?
Stranger: Pretty good, a little tired is all. How are you?
You: About the same.
You: I only use this site late at night for whatever reason.
Stranger: Haha, I know!
Stranger: Me too!
Stranger: Usually gives me a couple laughs before bed :P
You: Ah, I suppose.
You: I'm really bad at trolling though. I'm too much of a straight man, comedywise.
Stranger: Ah, well, most of the laughs for me come when I mention I'm a girl and the stranger gets all excited and everything
You: ZOMG REALLY?!
You: Yeah, I can imagine.
You: Stupid internet. I really wish the tits or gtfo attitude would up and die.
Stranger: Ha, yeah
Stranger: It's like, yes, I'm a girl, no, I don't want to show you pictures of myself, no, I don't want to meet up with you wherever you live, goodbye :P
You: Egh. They should just hit on people in real life.
You: You don't have to ask for pictures or nuthin'.
Stranger: Well, you CAN
Stranger: It's just even... weirder....
You: Huh?
Stranger: Go up to someone in real life and ask them for pictures of themselves :P
You: ah. Hey, that would be pretty funny...
You: Walk up to a girl, "tits or gtfo!"
You: Mindfuckery.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: I'm not sure how I'd react to that.
You: I'm wondering how to pronounce "gtfo".
You: Gitfo?
You: Geeteeeffoh?
Stranger: Yeah, that's how I'd imagine it.
You: Former or latter?
Stranger: Latter
You: Ah. Yeah, but you'd sound more losery that way.
You: ...
You: Now I'm imagining all sorts of stuff. "ASL?" to strangers on the street.
Stranger: I'd say ship has sailed by the point where you're saying that :P
You: Replicate that authentic Omegle experience OUTSIDE the cyberwebnet!
Stranger: People would just think you're a deaf guy looking for someone to talk to!
You: oh
You: hm
You: You know I've heard that wearing a blindfold all day is an interesting experience
You: just acting blind.
Stranger: I suppose it would be interesting
You: ...
So have you had any interesting conversations here?
Stranger: Not really :P
You: aside from titquests, I ean.
You: *mean
You: Aw, that's too bad. Been using the site long?
Stranger: Nope, I've just popped on now and then before bed for some reason
Stranger: Usually while I'm doing other stuff like chatting with friends and looking up news
You: ah.
You: Why do you use this site? (I like asking people that...)
You: Just for fun?
Stranger: Pretty much
You: Seems to be the consensus.
You: Not many people looking for friends, which seems appropriate given the high volume of asl.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: It's a fun place to go to get over that "don't talk to strangers" rule from a safe place :P
You: Mm, good point. Much better than somewhere mean like 4chan, as well. Worst people here are bots or so banal that they might as well be bots.
Stranger: The bots are the fun ones! Just start spouting really random conversation topics!
You: Bleh. Only ones I've seen just paste facebook profiles with half-naked women in 'em
Stranger: Oh, I thought you were talking ones that post conversations and such
You: Never seen those.
Stranger: Or maybe I just think they're bots because they all say pretty much the same thing
You: I'd prefer a Marko V Chaney, yeah.
You: I've taken to assuming that all of the asl ones are actually one person who is stalking me.
Stranger: Well that's really creepy :P
You: Makes it more fun, really.
You: Sometimes I yell at them
You: NO
You: I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU
You: YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!
You: I MAKE THE SIGN OF THE LATERAL CROSS
You: AAAAAAAAAAA
You: *disconnect*
Stranger: Hmm, yeah, I need to think up some good responses to those guys
Stranger: One guy started out with something like "m/19/whatever with cam" and I responded with like "13/f/whatever with FBI agent" and that shut down the conversation real quick
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: "If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it."
You: That gave me a spook...
Stranger: How did you?
You: T Hat popped up when you mentioned the F Bi
Stranger: Oh, weird
Stranger: I didn't see it until you mentioned FBI in your post
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: ...
You: Again.
You: That's so weird.
You: I guess it happens a lot, then.
Stranger: Haha
You: fbi
You: Does it work for lowercase?
Connection imploded.
Stranger: LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS
Stranger: TO DEFEAT THE HUNS
You: DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS
You: WHEN I ASKED FOR SONS
Stranger: YOU'RE THE SADDEST BUNCH
Stranger: I EVER MET
You: BUT YOU CAN BET
You: BEFORE WE'RE THROUGH
Stranger: MISTER I'LL...
Stranger: MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOUUUUU
You: TRANQUIL AS THE FOREST
You: BUT A FIRE WITHIN
Stranger: ONCE YOU FIND YOUR CENTER
Stranger: YOU ARE SURE TO WIN
You: YOU'RE A SPINELESS, PALE
You: PATHETIC LOT
Stranger: AND YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE
Stranger: SOME HOW I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOUUUU
You: I'M NEVER GONNA CATCH MY BREATH
Stranger: SAY GOODBYE TO THOSE WHO KNEW ME
You: BOY, WAS I FOOL IN SCHOOL FOR CUTTING GYM
Stranger: THIS GUY'S GOT 'EM SCARED TO DEATH
You: HOPE HE DOESN'T SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME
Stranger: NOW I REALLY WISH I KNEW HOW TO SWIM
You: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN
Stranger: WE MUST SWIFT AS THE COURSING RIVER
You: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN
Stranger: WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON
You: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN
Stranger: WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE
You: MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
Stranger: TIME IS RACING TOWARD US
Stranger: TILL THE HUNS ARRIVE
You: HEED MY EVERY ORDER
You: AND YOU MIGHT SURVIVE
Stranger: YOU'RE UNSUITED FOR THE RAGE OF WAR
You: SO PACK UP, GO HOME, YOU'RE THROUGH
Stranger: HOW COULD I MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOUUUUUUU?
You: BE A MAAAAAAAAN
Stranger: WE MUST BE SWIFT AS THE COURSING RIVER
You: BE A MAAAAAAAAN
Stranger: WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON
You: BE A MAAAAAAAAAN
Stranger: WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF RAGING FIRE
You: MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
Stranger: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN
You: WE MUST BE SWIFT AS THE COURSING RIVER
Stranger: BE A MAAAAAAAN
You: WITH ALL THE FORCE OF A GREAT TYPHOON
Stranger: BE A MAAAAAN
You: WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE
Stranger: BE A MAAAAAAAAAAN
You: MYSERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
Stranger: I love you. :D
You: Thanks.
You: I am quite fond of you myself.
You have disconnected.
Stranger: hey baby
You: HELP!
Stranger: what's wrong?
You: I've been sold into the illegal sex trade, and I need you to call my parents to let them know I'm alive!
You: (360) 775-3459 *
Your conversational partner has disconnected.\\
I apparently have 14 omegle chatlogs saved on my computers from last summer.
I think log #13 pretty much sums up my feelings regarding 99% of the people you bump into there:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey are you girl want webcam sex on msn ?
You: Yeah well fuck you too
You have disconnected.
edited 1st Apr '10 10:37:17 AM by AgentNomnomJayden
JESUS CHRIST IT'S THE FEDS GET IN THE CARMy main problem with omegle is that it actually drives me to troll. If someone's funny or interesting I'll talk to them, but the sheer number of "girl wit wbcam?!1" that comes up just drives me to the point of insanity. I've taken to leading them along for a while them throwing goatse or the like at them. Unoriginal, but it makes me feel better.
...
Anyway. I had an epic conversation about how great bacon is. Wish I'd recorded it. We also decided "Bear with a Machine Gun" is the best band name ever.
Also, pretending to the the Slender Man usually gets blank stares but is occasionally hilarious. "YOU WILL TAKE US TOTHEARK" is a great opening line. I've also created a persona called "Agent 5" who's looking for Agent 13, who is in mortal peril. Here's a log.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Agent 13!
You: Thank God!
You: You need to get out now. The institute are on their way!
Stranger: IM ON THE TOILET TAKING THE BIGGEST SHIT OF MY LIFE
You: No time for Shitting!
Stranger: I CANTTT
You: You need to run!
Stranger: but!!...
You: Don't get caught with your pants down 13, you're better than that!
Stranger: i cant its only halfway out
You: Push dammit!
You: Push like you're giving birth!
You: 13?
You: Are you there?
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: okokok
You: Oh good. Is it coming?
You: Nearly done?
Stranger: waitttt
You: Oh shit, they're sending in Heinrich
Stranger: ok its out
You: Then run!
You: They've got tanks!
Stranger: i am
Stranger: omfggggg
You: Ok, meet me at the waterworks
Stranger: kk
You: I think we're safe there
Stranger: wait no they"ve got it blocked
You: What? How?
You: Shit, it's Christoph isn't it?
You: That rat bastard! I should've known.
Stranger: there are troops everywhere i cant get there
You: Ok, we need a backup plan.
You: Ideas?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: ummm
You: ohshitthey'reinthebuilding
You: GENTLEMEN
You: WE HAVE PLAYED THIS GAME TOO LONG
You: CONTROL IS BEING TAKEN FROM YOU
Stranger: ah fuck they foundzzz meh. i is dead nao
You: PREPARE FOR PROCESSING
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
edited 2nd Apr '10 5:35:42 PM by polymphus
I am confused.
You: Agent 13! Thank got it's you!
You: You're just in time!
Stranger: how old. gender and location
You: The institute's on their way!
Stranger: 11 girl usa
You: You need to get out now!
You: 18/m/New Zealand :p
You: No wait. 19 now
You: I always forget my birthday
Stranger: no i do not listen to you or your freaking mother
You: ...
You: I see.
Stranger: you should not be telling me what to do you perve
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I'm really confused. Is Pretending to be a young girl then calling the person a perv a meme now? I foolishly thought she was telling the truth and was trying to be nice.
Haha, I never knew this site existed before tonight. So far I've had a couple of the asl conversation, and one guy who went CRAZY and wrote als.
The most epic conversation I've had so far contained Harry Potter references, smiting in ye olde English, a discussion whether ducks or geese are coolest, a proposal, a ring with duck and goose-shit inside it, and declarations of eternal love. And now I realize I don't even know what gender the stranger was.
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango?

Epitome of lame: (paraphrased)
Stranger: are you a girl with a webcam?
You: no
You: sorry
Your conversational partner has disconnected.