The original British rockstar
Here’s a couple of great lines from my recent dystopian satire “The Shock of the New”
“Donald looked over one of the most recent cases in which a young couple in Manchester had been arrested for distributing leaflets that claimed the Holocaust actually happened”
“I wish the Giga Wars had blown us all to hell! At least then we’d have some degree of free will!”
Edited by Mrgreen39 on Jul 12th 2022 at 12:42:16 PM
If you're not careful, the media will have you hating the oppressed and loving the oppressors
The World's Least Powerful Man
"Oh, save me from the machinations of sorcerors! There's a reason we had all of ours killed!"
"We had thought ourselves alone. You must understand, we've been looking for some thirty thousand years...!"
Edited by dvorak on Jun 10th 2022 at 3:14:04 AM
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Alex is Gaffer for a popular TV show.
30 November 2010
Pippa heard the front door open and close. "Hello darling," she called, "I like pre-production, I know you will be home at a normal time."
Alex kissed her, but had a frown on his face. She looked at him. "What's the matter?"
"I think Moffat is up to something. First read through of a script today. Lots going on, Spitfires in space, lots of prosthetics, lots of action, but I think there is something he's not saying, the script gets a bit odd in the last pages. I'm going to collar him and tell him we need to know how to light it."
Edited by Last_Hussar on Jun 12th 2022 at 6:57:07 AM
Bonnie's Artistic Cousin
"I know... But at least I'm stuck here with you. There's one silver lining."
KT blushed at that for reasons she didn't fully understand. Mara was her friend. It was a compliment. She would probably say that to anyone she was stuck with. So why did it feel so good?
"You too," she added, quickly. "I mean, I'm glad that we're... Okay, I guess I'm not glad... You know what I'm saying... Right?"
Mara didn't say anything. Instead, she just moved in closer. Suddenly, they were inches apart from each other. KT's heart began to flutter. The room felt warmer. For the second time, everything slowed down. What was happening? She hadn't felt this way in years. Why was it happening now of all times?
She knew why. It didn't help to delude herself. Mara was pretty, smart, and standing very close to her. And, judging from how she was acting, the attraction was mutual.
I spend so much time on drama or comedy so when I get to write a romance scene it feels so good.
Edited by WarJay77 on Jun 23rd 2022 at 2:48:29 PM
Current Project: The Team
The World's Least Powerful Man
"I don't know what you saw, or what you think you saw, but it doesn't exist, and we don't. Talk. About. It. The ship is not haunted. Do you understand?"
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
You Could Use some Imagination
Byleth obliged, sitting where Manuela had indicated. She tried to lean back and found that doing so resulted in her being at eye level with the table. As she sat back up she cursed her shortness.
“Problems?” Asked the significantly taller Catherine, chuckling.
“Bite me.” Byleth grumbled.
"Oh no." Lilah bit her lip as she saw the events playing out. They couldn't well be stopped now. Not with things advanced as far as they were. There was Connor Veinlund, Matthew's...older brother...? Younger brother...? Whichever, his age was difficult.
He was drunk.
Being that his development from 11 to 21 had been accelerated far too fast...well. That was just a fast way for things to end up messy, weren't they? Especially when that 21 year old body came with powers Connor barely understood or knew how to use properly.
"YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND!?" Connor screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks, "I'm—-I'm the Emperor of—-of the Silician Imperium! You can't be this mean to me!!" And there was cover, blown.
From what Lilah understood as she tried in vain to smooth over the situation, the guy engaged in the standard bar shit-talking - I slept with your girl! - and that—-that set off Connor.
The guy was currently peeling himself off the wall, flaring with power himself. Of course the guy had magic, too. This was shaping up to be a complete, total mess. Even as Lilah readied her magic, the boys were slinging fists in the middle of the bar. The poor bouncer ended up halfway through the street outside off of a backhand from Connor.
"Connor! You're being—-very bad! Very Bad!" Lilah scolded, trying to get above the din of flying fists and flaring mana.
"Lilahhhhhh!!" Connor whined even as he got punched through a collection of tables. "Lemme finish this guy off! I'm winning!"
He didn't hear Lilah's palm connect with her face. She'd have a long, long report to make about how their cover got blown here. Starting with how she thought a rendezvous in a bar was ever a good idea...
You Could Use some Imagination
Bonnie's Artistic Cousin
"I got him."
"Did you have to best him in combat first?"
"Ha ha."
"Of the thousands in the range of the cloud, nine hundred and sixty-eight children between the ages of three to ten developed tumors large enough for them to have the potential to manifest powers."
"How many survived?"
"I did."
Edited by Discar on Jul 23rd 2022 at 8:14:11 AM
"Listen, when you only get the choice between "die" and "give up", just pick the obvious one, okay?"
"Oh..." (Pause) "...So "fight like hell" then?"
"Exactly."
Edited by TitanJump on Jul 23rd 2022 at 8:28:26 PM
Sanity not included
"My god, it's like an abuse scavenger hunt; it's been there the whole time, but you just never! Fucking! Noticed it!
Edited by Dragon573 on Jul 26th 2022 at 6:07:47 AM
It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
Albedo
"People needed him to at least look stable, and hopefully not see that, really, he was a poorly constructed house of tissue paper, one wrong touch from completely collapsing. "
“You carry the aura of the stars, interesting...”
Strepsirrhine of DOOM!
The first chapter ends with the main character's girlfriend proposing to her. This is how the second chapter begins:
Beside me, Farrah shifted slightly in her sleep. I rolled over to face her and began idly tracing my finger along the muscles of my girlfriend's back. No, my fiancee's back, I corrected myself. I'd need to get used to that.
What, did you think I was going to say no?
You Could Use some Imagination
Actually, now that she thought about it, it kind of was for her. After all, two years ago was technically… seven years ago(?) for her. She wasn’t entirely sure. Seriously, time was hard when you were a time traveler.
Still, it didn’t matter because she had only traveled back in time mentally. For her body, two years ago was in fact two years ago.
Edited by BackSet1 on Aug 5th 2022 at 8:11:53 AM
"Hope for our world, tragedy for another."
I'm still really proud of this exchange
I wrote in a custom level for Wonderland Adventures for some reason.
"Let me just quickly get out my translator!" Remains my favourite line I've ever written.
A proud 18-year-old British smartass nerd obsessed with World Cup mascots, geopolitical history & British animation.
Bonnie's Artistic Cousin
His brother mumbled an apology too, but still took the chance to yank the sausages away now that Noma was distracted. The recoil sent Dallyan falling to the floor, scattering a few things off the shaken table, but he still ended up with the lion's share of their sausage.
Current Project: The Team
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
(Warning for self-harm.)
Strepsirrhine of DOOM!
"There had been a multiple-car pileup at Kane and Siegel, which forced her bus to take a detour through the labyrinthine streets of Diamondback Ridge, a city whose layout Leslie strongly suspected hadn't been designed so much as thrown together in the dark by a drunken orangutan."
Tidesson Son of the staves of time
The Master Of Fright & A Demon Of Light
"He said he'd save me from them if i fucked him. I told him to fuck himself."
Though it's propably not such good wordplay as i think.
Edited by Nukeli on Sep 21st 2022 at 11:51:20 AM
~ * Bleh * ~ (Looking for a russian-speaker to consult about names and words for a thing)
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
Blinking from my eyelids and smiling from my teeth
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
The World's Least Powerful Man
As he guided her out, he spoke softly of biochemistry, the difficulties of securing foodstuffs on an alien planet whose biosphere was based on completely different active ingredients, and the grim reality of survival in a cold, uncaring universe perfectly willing to let people who wouldn't break eggs to make an omlette starve to death.
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
"Your kind only adopted magic. Mine was born to it... moulded by it...!"
"Indeed. But we adopted ALL of it. I might not be able to match your, ah, 'firepower,' but I can still hit you with enough electricity to stop your heart, for example. I can do things your kind never dreamed of. Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Light... Gravity..." Here, a crushing motion that broke every bone in the dragon's body. "Death..." And the mangled body lurched back upright with a wet schlock.
Edited by dvorak on Feb 25th 2024 at 9:48:10 AM
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!