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A general thread for discussion of the Harry Potter books. Any new books set in the same world are also on-topic.

Games, films and other adaptations may be more appropriate for other threads if they're being discussed in isolation.

The HBO tv series has its own thread.

Mod Notes:

  • Media threads are primarily for fans of the works they cover. Not everyone will like everything, of course, and that's especially true in a franchise like Harry Potter. It's fine to say a particular story within the franchise doesn't work for you, or to talk about why it doesn't work for you. But please try not to dwell on the negativity for too long. Complaints shouldn't take up too much space on a thread that's intended for fans.
  • This is a thread to talk about Harry Potter and the content of the stories, not a place to talk about J. K. Rowling's more controversial views. If there's something newsworthy where Rowling's activities become relevant (e.g. it affects her relationship to new Potter works and adaptations), that's fair enough. Otherwise it's all been said already and we don't need to repeat it.

    Original text of OP 

there doesn't seem to be a general HP topic...

Edited by Mrph1 on May 27th 2025 at 9:17:24 AM

Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1902: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:27:35 PM

Zamboni has a threesome with himself.

It's not over. Not yet.
juancarlos11 Since: Aug, 2011
#1903: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:28:40 PM

Or you know...Christina Hendricks. Six of them.

It's not exactly naive. And it can happen. But it's tough. And definetly worthwhile.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
juancarlos11 Since: Aug, 2011
#1905: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:31:02 PM

They would just look like Luna. No crazy shit involved.

What the hell did I just say?

edited 17th Feb '11 8:31:32 PM by juancarlos11

It's not exactly naive. And it can happen. But it's tough. And definetly worthwhile.
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1906: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:31:19 PM

Don't forget Luna.
I declare this to be Kino's catchphrase.

@ Inigo Montoya: They'd sound like her, though.

edited 17th Feb '11 8:31:47 PM by Medicus

It's not over. Not yet.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1907: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:31:23 PM

Awwww man.

Fuck yeah; i'm just going to pop up with my leather jacket when I do.

edited 17th Feb '11 8:31:57 PM by Kino

cardboardtubeknight OMG its Bonnie Gruesen from Texas Since: Jan, 2011
OMG its Bonnie Gruesen
#1908: Feb 17th 2011 at 11:06:15 PM

@Medicus: It was on the HMS-Stfu listing of wild fan fics. There are other examples of crazy stuff like that, like with Snape trying to help Hermione put on a tampon or something a friend told me she saw.

@Kino: I know this isn’t canon, but fan fiction often does talk about birth control. A lot of the time they’ll have contraceptive potions or some kind of blocking spell. A lot of them never go into detail with these things and I’ve seen it far more than just once. The one thing I notice about Harry Potter fan fiction is that when an idea hits the airwaves, it becomes canon with in fan fiction to the point you almost can’t tell its not real.

I wrote a scene one time where Ron said something about condos but meant condoms.

@Known Unknown: I’m dedicated to trying to write that small percentage. I’m not the best writer, but its good practice with a near instant feedback. And yeah when I look through most of the stuff I find some pretty tedious stuff. Like even in some of the more popular top tier fics, like Dumbledore’s Army and the Year of Darkness…I can’t read that. It’s so out of character and filled with misogynist stuff and rape it’s just silly.

Probably the most popular thing I’ve done yet is a Hermione/Ginny romance story that was a bit of a comedy when it started and snowballed from there. And the best thing I’ve read is the long “After the End” story, I even put it on the recc’d page here.

Fractured, my Harry Potter Fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6655978/1/Fractured
juancarlos11 Since: Aug, 2011
#1909: Feb 17th 2011 at 11:11:39 PM

@Medicus: From now on, people will only call me that. :P

It's not exactly naive. And it can happen. But it's tough. And definetly worthwhile.
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1910: Feb 17th 2011 at 11:14:47 PM

@Medicus: It was on the HMS-Stfu listing of wild fan fics. There are other examples of crazy stuff like that, like with Snape trying to help Hermione put on a tampon or something a friend told me she saw.
Oh man, HMS STFU? I used to go there all the time! So much lulz.

@Kino: I know this isn’t canon, but fan fiction often does talk about birth control. A lot of the time they’ll have contraceptive potions or some kind of blocking spell. A lot of them never go into detail with these things and I’ve seen it far more than just once. The one thing I notice about Harry Potter fan fiction is that when an idea hits the airwaves, it becomes canon with in fan fiction to the point you almost can’t tell its not real.
Now that I think of it... why couldn't you just banish the, erm, fluids? As long as you know what you're looking for it shouldn't be a problem...

Okay, now I'm imagining a sex-ed class with Professor McGonagall carefully explaining how not do it, and providing an example of a girl who accidental banished her entire reproductive system.

I wrote a scene one time where Ron said something about condos but meant condoms.
I can see that happening in canon. Like Ron trying to use the fellytone or Mr Weasley asking about ekeltricity.

Nice.smile

It's not over. Not yet.
cardboardtubeknight OMG its Bonnie Gruesen from Texas Since: Jan, 2011
OMG its Bonnie Gruesen
#1911: Feb 17th 2011 at 11:30:06 PM

@Medicus: I actually just joined journalfen just to get on there recently and I have been loving it ever since.

And you could do any number of creative things. If you could get the spell in there you could use that Impervius Charm to keep anything from entering the egg, it makes it so that foreign substances are repelled instantly…it’s the one that Hermione used in Prisoner of Azkban to keep rain of Harry’s glasses. (I actually used it to make Hermione walk on water by her casting it on her shoes)

But a sex ed scene in the books could have been funny. Only Molly and Arthur seem to suffer from an issue though.

And my favorite mispronunciation was Please Men, which was meant to be “Policemen”. I also liked when the Daily Prophet mentioned a gun and put in parenthesis that it was a type of wand Muggles used to kill each other.

Fractured, my Harry Potter Fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6655978/1/Fractured
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1912: Feb 17th 2011 at 11:40:00 PM

IIRC Hermione actually taps Harry's glasses with her wand to complete the spell. So I don't know if it'd be possible.

I've seen fics where scourgrify was used in a similar manner as the banishing spell I mentioned (which I've never seen used). And now that I think about it... wouldn't that be, I don't know, extremely painful? It's used to scrub dishes and when James uses it against Snape suds come out of his mouth.

edited 17th Feb '11 11:40:21 PM by Medicus

It's not over. Not yet.
cardboardtubeknight OMG its Bonnie Gruesen from Texas Since: Jan, 2011
OMG its Bonnie Gruesen
#1913: Feb 17th 2011 at 11:52:31 PM

When has something being painful stopped fan fiction writers? But that spell is for like scrubbing, Tonks uses it to clean an owl cage once. Some of the stuff I have read is pretty painful sounding.

Of course I wrote some horrible things as a joke, like the accidental vibrating wand charm and the bra disarming spell.

Fractured, my Harry Potter Fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6655978/1/Fractured
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1914: Feb 17th 2011 at 11:59:30 PM

accidental vibrating wand charm
Many, many fanfics have been written with wands being used in a way they were never intended.

I think it's a stupid idea, personally.

bra disarming spell.
I find this idea intriguing and wish to describe to your newsletter.

It's not over. Not yet.
cardboardtubeknight OMG its Bonnie Gruesen from Texas Since: Jan, 2011
OMG its Bonnie Gruesen
#1915: Feb 18th 2011 at 12:26:47 AM

I was certain that the wand thing wasn’t something I had invented, just like how everyone thinks up illicit ideas for the invisibility cloak. When I set out to write it, I was trying to do something with those kinds of things in it, and humor and an engaging story. Which is something I don’t see a lot of the time.

Fractured, my Harry Potter Fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6655978/1/Fractured
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1916: Feb 18th 2011 at 1:10:12 AM

I might have to amend my last post.

Many, many fanfics have been written with wands being inserted into places they were never meant to be inserted into.

There, much better.

You know, I have never seen illicit uses of the invisibility cloak in a fanfic.

If Harry was a normal teenage boy he'd be trying to sneak into the girls' showers with it on.

Or Ron. It's probably more his style than Harry's.

Okay, now I'm imagining Ron sticking the cloak to himself, then figuring out how to wear the thing all the time while still being able to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc. And over time he slowly goes mad, culminating in him raping Hermione while wearing the cloak, forcing Harry and Neville to track him down and kill him.

I'm in the wrong fandom, aren't I?

edited 18th Feb '11 1:17:23 AM by Medicus

It's not over. Not yet.
cardboardtubeknight OMG its Bonnie Gruesen from Texas Since: Jan, 2011
OMG its Bonnie Gruesen
#1917: Feb 18th 2011 at 1:25:23 AM

I didn’t even think about that, but remember the girl’s dorms at the school have magical protection. Though the boys don’t as they kind of only figured the boys would be the one’s doing bad stuff.

And yeah, the ideas I had for the cloak were something else all together, I wrote people making out under it or having sex. With those silencing spells no one would ever know unless they walked directly into you while you were under it. I did read one where Harry was walking around under the cloak because he was going through one of those periods where most of the students hated him.

Also, you can use the Room of Requirement to do whatever you want in and other students and teachers can’t get in unless they’re allowed. It’s sad that I think of this stuff while reading the actual books.

Fractured, my Harry Potter Fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6655978/1/Fractured
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1918: Feb 18th 2011 at 1:39:40 AM

The Prefect's Bathroom is another part of the school that fanfic writers focus on.

It never made any sense to me. Firstly, why do the prefects get a better bathroom? Secondly, why is the bathroom unisex? And thirdly, did it never occur to Rowling what people would start thinking about when she introduced the idea?

It's not over. Not yet.
cardboardtubeknight OMG its Bonnie Gruesen from Texas Since: Jan, 2011
OMG its Bonnie Gruesen
#1919: Feb 18th 2011 at 1:58:31 AM

The prefects bathroom isn’t ever said to be unisex in canon, people just change it to be as such. The idea of prefects seems to be a big thing in fan fiction as far as HP goes. One of the things I have seen them do a lot of is making some kind of cohabitation rule for prefects and then trying to get Hermione and Draco to hook up.

People like to bring back the Yule Ball, despite it being a one time thing. They also like to do this arranged child marriage plot thing. Then there’s the Soul Bond Fic…most of these plot types are made specifically to easily force some crack pairing that wouldn’t make sense without good characterization.

And I read a comment from Rowling once when it came to fan fiction and pairing in general. Fan Fiction is both and out in the open thing and somewhat underground, so a lot of people never hear of it.

From and interview with Mugglenet: “[..] I'm a relative newcomer to the world of shipping, because for a long time, I didn't go on the net and look up Harry Potter. A long time. [..] I had never gone and looked at fan sites, and then one day I did and oh - my - god. Five hours later or something, I get up from the computer shaking slightly [..]. ‘What is going on?’ And it was during that first mammoth session that I met the shippers, and it was a most extraordinary thing. I had no idea there was this huge underworld seething beneath me.”

Fractured, my Harry Potter Fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6655978/1/Fractured
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1920: Feb 18th 2011 at 3:37:17 AM

Ugh, the dreaded Head Boy/Head Girl dorms.

edited 18th Feb '11 3:37:44 AM by Medicus

It's not over. Not yet.
CyganAngel Away on the wind~ from Arcadia Since: Oct, 2010
Away on the wind~
#1921: Feb 18th 2011 at 3:51:30 AM

As far as we know, each of the Prefects get a separate bathroom.

There are too many toasters in my chimney!
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1922: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:13:45 AM

As far as we know, there's only one prefect's bathroom.

Though I assume it has charms on it to ensure there's only person in there at a time.

It's not over. Not yet.
CyganAngel Away on the wind~ from Arcadia Since: Oct, 2010
Away on the wind~
#1923: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:26:47 AM

Never really stated either way.

There are too many toasters in my chimney!
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1924: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:48:20 AM

@cardboardtubeknight: Can't they just buy some?

vifetoile Since: Jan, 2001
#1925: Feb 18th 2011 at 7:25:56 AM

About wizarding contraceptives, I don't have a problem with the idea that maybe, just maybe, the Weasleys always wanted a large family - I have a problem with Nymphadora Tonks, who was supposed to be a trained soldier and undercover agent, a professional warrior training under "Constant Vigilance!!" Moody, not to mention a young woman who seems to be quite sharp, getting pregnant in the middle of a gigantic war.

That has just always bugged me.

Also, Known Unknown, I am sympathetic to your quest, and I can recommend stuff!


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