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A general thread for discussion of the Harry Potter books. Any new books set in the same world are also on-topic.

Games, films and other adaptations may be more appropriate for other threads if they're being discussed in isolation.

The HBO tv series has its own thread.

Mod Notes:

  • Media threads are primarily for fans of the works they cover. Not everyone will like everything, of course, and that's especially true in a franchise like Harry Potter. It's fine to say a particular story within the franchise doesn't work for you, or to talk about why it doesn't work for you. But please try not to dwell on the negativity for too long. Complaints shouldn't take up too much space on a thread that's intended for fans.
  • This is a thread to talk about Harry Potter and the content of the stories, not a place to talk about J. K. Rowling's more controversial views. If there's something newsworthy where Rowling's activities become relevant (e.g. it affects her relationship to new Potter works and adaptations), that's fair enough. Otherwise it's all been said already and we don't need to repeat it.

    Original text of OP 

there doesn't seem to be a general HP topic...

Edited by Mrph1 on May 27th 2025 at 9:17:24 AM

Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1876: Feb 17th 2011 at 5:50:55 PM

Got a link? Sounds hilarious.

"Ginny! What have you done?!"

"I heard you had lunch with Hermione, so I murdered our children! I thought that was obvious!"

"Oh my god, you're truly a complete monster! I'm going to have to travel back in time to make sure I marry Hermione instead of you!"

"But what about your children, Harry? Won't you save them?"

"Are they even mine?"

"Of course not, I've been having affairs for years."

"Well, now that that's settled, I'm off. Also, I'm going to murder the fuck out of you and Ron, because he's been raping Hermione for years. Toodles."

edited 17th Feb '11 5:51:13 PM by Medicus

It's not over. Not yet.
Maridee from surfside Since: Nov, 2009 Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1878: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:00:59 PM

So nobody read the Hagrid/Harry fics?

Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1879: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:08:54 PM

Hagrid would break Harry in half.

Hot.

It's not over. Not yet.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1881: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:29:47 PM

You just can't understand their love!

It's not over. Not yet.
juancarlos11 Since: Aug, 2011
#1882: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:30:52 PM

Or the physics involved.

It's not exactly naive. And it can happen. But it's tough. And definetly worthwhile.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1883: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:33:15 PM

You know how they have those charms to make bags able to hold a lot of stuff....

Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1884: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:34:59 PM

Hermione had to invent an entirely new type of arithmancy for it to work.

It's not over. Not yet.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1885: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:35:43 PM

You ever wonder why there are so many Weasly kids?

juancarlos11 Since: Aug, 2011
#1886: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:36:31 PM

They fuck like rabbits. Pretty obvious I guess. As to why? Well, they don't sem to have a TV...

It's not exactly naive. And it can happen. But it's tough. And definetly worthwhile.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1887: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:37:08 PM

It took them 5 tries to have an awesome redhead./

Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1888: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:37:37 PM

They were trying for a girl. Or the Wizarding World has no form of birth control.

I'm imagining Harry trying to explain condoms to Ron.

It's not over. Not yet.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1889: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:38:14 PM

Wait...do they have birth control? I love how people just gloss it over in FF.

Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1890: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:41:31 PM

I pity the kids who learnt about sex from fanfiction.

They'd have no concept of birth control and expect the guy to have a penis as long as their arm.

(People just make up shit. Muggle contraceptives, a spell, a potion, whatever.)

It's not over. Not yet.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1891: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:44:34 PM

^Ah, those poor dumb bitches. Don't worry Voldemorey will magically make the pregnancy go away.

KnownUnknown Since: Jan, 2001
#1892: Feb 17th 2011 at 6:48:42 PM

@cardboard. Yeah, Harry Potter fanfiction tends to have those hangups. Lots and lots of the same kind, too. But some of it isn't terrible, if you can believe it or not.

Yeah, I know, 90% of Fanfic is crap. Unfortunately. Some fandoms more than others... but there's still that other, smaller half.

So, I dedicate my life to finding that elusive 10%. That diamond in the rough. That little bit that seems just as good if not better than the source material. The stuff that's deep without being cliche-dark, funny without being ridiculously random, got plots without flying off it's own rails (let alone flying off the source's rails), and even OC's that aren't... Sparkypoo. I spend my days in tireless search... of the 10 Percent...

Some say it's masochism. Others, frivolousness. I call it... boredom. I am... the Fanfictionizer! Or something... I'll get back to you.

Tryin' to get a sitcom. Or a comic. Or something...

edited 17th Feb '11 6:51:50 PM by KnownUnknown

Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1893: Feb 17th 2011 at 7:54:06 PM

@ Known Unknown: True. I've read a lot of bad fanfiction. But a small amount of really good stuff, that could have been published on its own. And even bad fanfiction occasionally has redeeming value.

An example of "fic that's so bad you can't look away" is the genre where Ron is an evil abusive rapist and turns Hermione into a baby-making factory.

Because it's not like Hermione has magical powers or anything. It's not like she'd turn Ron into a fine paste before letting him have sex with her against her will. Magic? What's that?

It's not over. Not yet.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1894: Feb 17th 2011 at 7:58:04 PM

I read one where Hermione brought Sirius back, they made him young again, he has a thing for her, but she's married to Ron who's cheating on her, Harry and Draco are really fuckin gay, Lupin ha kids, that Zamboni fuck is some kind of sex trafficker, but her fucks Hermione before she finds out, Sirius gets a BJ, and the baby dies.

Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1895: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:07:53 PM

"Zamboni"?

It's not over. Not yet.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#1896: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:13:31 PM

Zambini, Zarini? Either way the dude is a guido with magic.

juancarlos11 Since: Aug, 2011
#1897: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:14:50 PM

Zabini. I prefer Zamboni for the lulz, though.

edited 17th Feb '11 8:15:09 PM by juancarlos11

It's not exactly naive. And it can happen. But it's tough. And definetly worthwhile.
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1898: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:19:58 PM

Yeah, I'm gonna start calling him Zamboni now too.tongue

Anyone come across Polyjuice brothels?

It's not over. Not yet.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
Medicus Sierra 117 from Australia Since: Sep, 2009
Sierra 117
#1900: Feb 17th 2011 at 8:23:44 PM

How exactly does that require more explanation?

It's not over. Not yet.

Total posts: 23,960
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