TVTropes Now available in the app store!
Open

Follow TV Tropes

Following

William lulzblogs Chick Tracts because he hates himself

Go To

Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest Since: Apr, 2009
#251: Oct 12th 2009 at 9:27:01 AM

theres2xa1zguyna1zj7med3clous2xif4vf4erinitoj7hj7mygod3cj7ma1zd3ck8,d3chid3ck8,howd3coul9.d3cyouunl9.ea1zs2xhthes2xehorrif4vid3cj7monts2xros2xties2xuponourpoors2oul9.d3cohj7mygod3cohj7mygod3cohj7mygodohj7mygod3c3cohj7mygod3cohj7mygod3cJ 7 MA 1 ZD 3 CK 8,HID 3 CK 8,

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#252: Oct 12th 2009 at 9:29:25 AM

Wicked223: I have no clue what you're saying. I'm going to pretend that instead of your keyboard being fucked up, you've gone mad from reading a Chick tract.

SHIKI is dead.
Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest Since: Apr, 2009
#253: Oct 12th 2009 at 9:31:40 AM

Tha1zt's2x es2xa1zd3ctl9.y itl9.

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
Kinkajou I'm Only Sleeping Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Hiding
I'm Only Sleeping
#254: Oct 12th 2009 at 9:31:59 AM

Maybe both.

INT is knowing a tomato is a fruit. WIS is knowing it doesn't belong in a fruit salad. CHA is convincing people that it does.
Haven Planescape Hijack Since: Jan, 2001
Planescape Hijack
#255: Oct 12th 2009 at 9:55:54 AM

Yay! It's the Williamblog!

And the musicians now have this horrified look on their face, because they finally realize they're in a Jack Chick tract.

I lol'd.

Two years later, two of the members want to marry, which makes Lew Siffer mad for some reason. I thought that people like Jack Chick thought Satan created the gay in order to corrupt pure Christians like Jack Chick and Ted Haggard. Either way, Satan plans on giving them AIDS

Now that I think about it, maybe he actually sincerely meant he was giving them AIDS as a present. But because he's Satan, when he tries to do good for someone, it still ends up being evil.

That is totally in line with Jack Chick Logic.

One week later, one of the members of the band is explaining how Bobby died of AIDS, Jim overdosed, and Don is a vampire.

I think this was one of my favorite parts. Cause here you have these two real-life tragedies, and then..."And Don is into vampirism." Which is a pretty huge non sequitur, but also...what?

edited 12th Oct '09 9:56:11 AM by Haven

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#256: Oct 12th 2009 at 10:23:05 AM

I think Jack Chick might think that there is actually a major subculture of vampires and that his "Vampire" story is just as grounded in reality as his other stories.

Then again, his other stories aren't exactly grounded in reality either.

edited 12th Oct '09 10:23:32 AM by WilliamWideWeb

SHIKI is dead.
JethroQWalrustitty Since: Jan, 2001
#257: Oct 12th 2009 at 10:46:24 AM

I think Jack Chick might think that there is actually a major subculture of vampires and that his "Vampire" story is just as grounded in reality as his other stories.

Then again, his other stories aren't exactly grounded in reality either.

That second sentence was redundant. "as grounded in reality as his other stories" kinda got the idea through.

WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#258: Oct 12th 2009 at 10:47:30 AM

Well, I was actually talking about what Jack Chick thought about his own stories.

SHIKI is dead.
GoggleFox rrrrrrrrr from Acadia, yo. Since: Jul, 2009
rrrrrrrrr
#259: Oct 12th 2009 at 11:29:12 AM

... He used his own tracts, in his tracts, as Deus ex Machina.

Pardon me for asking, but isn't pride a sin, and humility a virtue? Therefore, by his own rules, isn't Jack going to hell?

Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest Since: Apr, 2009
#260: Oct 12th 2009 at 11:29:40 AM

You don't get thrown in hell for a single sin, Goggle.

edited 12th Oct '09 11:29:47 AM by Wicked223

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
Merlo *hrrrrrk* from the masochist chamber Since: Oct, 2009
*hrrrrrk*
#261: Oct 12th 2009 at 11:32:27 AM

"You don't get thrown in hell for a single sin, Goggle."

Actually, going to hell is the default fate of everyone, unless you accept God and Jesus and blah.

edited 12th Oct '09 11:32:54 AM by Merlo

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am...
GoggleFox rrrrrrrrr from Acadia, yo. Since: Jul, 2009
rrrrrrrrr
#262: Oct 12th 2009 at 11:37:21 AM

Wicked: Logically, what you say is true, but this is Jack Chick we're talking about.

Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest Since: Apr, 2009
#263: Oct 12th 2009 at 11:37:58 AM

I'm afraid I don't get what you mean.

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#264: Oct 12th 2009 at 11:42:05 AM

Wicked223: Jack Chick is the sort of person who would condemn you to hell for a single sin.

SHIKI is dead.
GoggleFox rrrrrrrrr from Acadia, yo. Since: Jul, 2009
rrrrrrrrr
#265: Oct 12th 2009 at 11:42:18 AM

One, he doesn't really follow logic, per se.

Two, the number of cases of bearing false witness in his tracts alone racks up enough sins to last him several lifetimes.

Three, his characters have been condemned to hell for far less.

Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest Since: Apr, 2009
#266: Oct 12th 2009 at 11:42:22 AM

Ah. True.

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
DireSloth Since: Jan, 2001
#267: Oct 12th 2009 at 2:17:04 PM

Wow. Just wow. That was hilarious. Did you notice how when whatshisname was converted, not only was he converted due to reading a Chick Tract while in a Chick Tract, but the conversion took literally a single panel? Like, not even in the indefinite amount of time between the panels, but between dialogue boxes. He glanced at the tract and was a good Christian IMMEDIATELY. Wow. Totally seconding the prideful thing, that takes Easy Evangelism to a whole new level.

Don't give up now, Willy! These are great!

edited 12th Oct '09 2:20:49 PM by DireSloth

Not actually back.
WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#268: Oct 12th 2009 at 2:19:52 PM

I'm not giving up just yet. There was a long hiatus but I want to keep these ongoing. I'd just prefer to write about something that isn't soul-searing as well as snarking the hell out of these tracts.

edited 12th Oct '09 2:23:17 PM by WilliamWideWeb

SHIKI is dead.
Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#269: Oct 12th 2009 at 2:56:34 PM

You are updating again!

And yeah, this tract is pretty ridiculious.

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
Nomic Exitus Acta Probat from beyond the Void Since: Jan, 2001
Exitus Acta Probat
#270: Oct 12th 2009 at 11:06:47 PM

When you think about it, the Chickverse isn't actually that bad a place. Apparently you can have all the sex, drugs and rock'n'roll you want and even sell your soul for the Devil, and all you have to do to become a good moral person again is to read a Chick Tract and yell some crap about Jesus at the Devil.

Zudak Since: Dec, 1969
#271: Oct 13th 2009 at 12:03:36 AM

For those about to Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock with the ROCK, we salute you.

Kinkajou I'm Only Sleeping Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Hiding
I'm Only Sleeping
#272: Oct 13th 2009 at 5:46:35 AM

RAW RAW FIGHT THE Jack Chick POWAH

Had to say it.

INT is knowing a tomato is a fruit. WIS is knowing it doesn't belong in a fruit salad. CHA is convincing people that it does.
WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#273: Oct 15th 2009 at 10:16:37 AM

So which Jack Chick tract should I do next?

SHIKI is dead.
Kinkajou I'm Only Sleeping Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Hiding
I'm Only Sleeping
#274: Oct 15th 2009 at 10:25:56 AM

Did you do the one with Buddhists yet?

INT is knowing a tomato is a fruit. WIS is knowing it doesn't belong in a fruit salad. CHA is convincing people that it does.
Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#275: Oct 15th 2009 at 10:26:58 AM

Oh, do that one!

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic

Total posts: 678
Top