...
It's...
It's kinda beyond description, but the closest analogy I can think of is that this is what happens when Metalocalypse and Re Boot get very very drunk and have a baby with some horrible neurological disorder.
Or to put it more simply, WUT.
I like how the masked guy just threw his katanas. For no reason. And how that one chick randomly caught on fire when thrown into a building side.
Whoever made this was taking some incredible drugs.
I too couldn't sit through the whole thing. It was ruining my brain.
edited 18th Oct '09 6:05:37 PM by Charlatan
After doing a little research on this. It turns out to be the FIRST British CGI feature.
http://forgottenjunk.webs.com/dominator.htm
I'll let the link do the talking because I'm at a loss to explain this more detail.
That would be the most awesome thing in the world if the CGI wasn't utterly shit.
Ukrainian Red CrossIn the "What the hell"-department, I also like GI JOE EXTREME
. Just watch the first minute of this
and the worst music video ever
.
edited 19th Oct '09 9:01:29 AM by Glowsquid
Not to mention the blatant factual error in the first few seconds. Keith Richards can't "R.I.P.!" Everyone knows he's immortal!
"Proto-Indo-European makes the damnedest words related. It's great. It's the Kevin Bacon of etymology." ~MadrugadaAfter seeking very much in my memories, I came to the conclusion that I am wrong. GI Joe Extreme is the best work of art. OF ALL TIME.
You peons may laugh at the truth, but I prepared many bites-sized footage to convert you. You shall thank me later.
Your terrible costume was brought to my attention
.
Ham to Ham combat.
Who win? I think this guy
do.
This is why you should never put grown men in a costume
.
edited 27th Nov '09 3:22:38 PM by Glowsquid
[http://www.filmauckland.com/games-animation/creative/stories/
This thing?]
"Flux's direct control of the production design of the characters and leading role of design of the location sets and props ensured that the visual world created based on the Asian legends is of high international standard. " = wut.
Also:
No words can describe the sheer lyrical beauty of this masterpiece. Only an handfull few gifted individual among the like of Ed Woods, Stellar Stone and William Mc Gonagall had such a close control over art.
edited 4th Jan '10 6:23:59 PM by Glowsquid
So as far as I can understand, the plot of this is as follows:
In the future every person associated with heavy metal has been executed by the government and sent to a special division of hell. Apparently, hell has been filled with giant pentagrams and flying skulls.
One day a band a powdered face woman manages to open up a vortex to the afterlife by using a something called The Lost Chord. Previously this divine/demonic instrument had been protected by a special group of Dominican monks wearing sunglasses. How she managed to obtain this relic is unknown, but it can be assumed that it is forged from Judas' intestines or something. The monk drops his manual on The Lost Chord into the swirling vortex for no apparent reason.
This somehow triggers a fight between Satan and three skeletons in a region of hell known as 'Darkadia'. Needless to say, Satan does pretty well until the skeletons decide they have had enough and open their own vortex leading to The Twilight Zone earth.
Satan arrives on earth to find that it is being ruled by various powder faced vampire prostitutes and flips out. He runs into his old girlfriend who seems to be obsessed with duality. Satan, being the guy that he is, punches her in the stomach which makes her explode and transform into an apartment building for some reason. She gets her revenge by shooting a laser out of her bracelet which destroys Satan's motorbike.
Satan wanders around for a bit and finds a (relatively) normal looking woman being harassed by another powder-faced vampire prostitute. He feels sympathy toward the (relatively) normal woman and decides to kick the vampire prostitutes ass by using some katanas he has pulled out of his ass. Unfortunately vampires are immune to metal so he uses lightning which makes her explode.
After that, he leaves for a concert and attempts to rape a girl with pink hair for no apparent reason. Thankfully, he is interrupted by a phone call giving her time to escape. On the other line is another of his former girlfriends who exists on some strange psychedelic plane of existence. She apparently wants him to be in her band (or something). For some reason an angel begins to give him oral sex while he is on the phone.
Then he gets some sidekicks (?) one of which is a skeleton robot... er... thing and the other is a male vampire. Then we cut to what appears to be some hobos attempting to buy beer from a monk. (?) Unfortunately the time police show up an-
Back to Satan who appears to be having sex with yet another vampire prosti- BUT IT WAS A RUSE! She was only having sex with him to steal his magic key. Then I.. umm.... a Catholic priest passes out after Satan drives his car into the cathedral which summons another vampire prostitute. This one is special apparently because it has a diamond dog collar. His vampire sidekick expresses his wish to engage in sexual relations with the fair dame which causes his skeleton octopus...
to grow a giant penis. I do not mean that he gets an erection, I mean he literally creates a penis for himself out of what appears to be a giant rock.
Then he starts fighting the vampire prostitutes father? I really have no idea. I am at a loss.
I do hope that that was just a series of clips mashed together and not an actual episode
edited 5th Jan '10 8:04:26 PM by Pentadragon
Well yeah, it is.
Though the same guy who made the clip also uploaded a scene from the actual movie
, it's only slightly less incoherent.
edited 6th Jan '10 4:30:54 AM by Glowsquid
Even though it has a page of its own. Dragon Booster deserves a special mention for being extra terrible.
I'm having to learn to pay the priceWhile I can definitelly attest for Dragon Booster's shittyness, it's not a complete drug-trip like Dominator and GI Joe Extreme. Or, at least, not a funny one.
They got it right with Storm Hawks. Making it a fun time to watch.
Dragon Booster on the other hand, is basically Avatar The Last Airbender meats Eragon.
Shitty combo.
I'm having to learn to pay the priceSo what did everyone think of the fact that this was originally a manga from the 90s? Or the fact that the director had cancer during the making of that film, as well as how he apparently didn't even WANT to make it?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/40850405@N08/3794307207/in/photostream/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/40850405@N08/3795127030/in/photostream/
Hell, they were meant to give this film a bigger budget remaking and even got so far as to making a 12-minute crossover with characters from Heavy Metal 2000.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ud94-fX1y4k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T4WTGKxofw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i5VSjvWarY
edited 11th Jan '10 3:56:35 PM by Xamel1
Both things are pretty unfortunate and I feel sorry for the guy. Doesn't make the actual movie any less hilarious, though.
Though GI Joe Extreme is an even more EXTREEEEEEEEMEly awesome snark folder! Join the brain damagefun, you too can enjoy the laser-firing sunflowers!
edited 12th Jan '10 4:59:27 AM by Glowsquid
Respect the Red Right Hand
^ That's not Oh, oh my, that's Made Of Win.

Yes, this exist.