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Tyra Banks is writing a fantasy novel.

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Sharysa Since: Jan, 2001
#101: Sep 22nd 2011 at 5:14:46 PM

I'll read it, but probably only when I'm drunk.

And I definitely won't pay for it.

Merlo *hrrrrrk* from the masochist chamber Since: Oct, 2009
*hrrrrrk*
#102: Sep 22nd 2011 at 5:18:02 PM

Myrracle

what

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am...
FreezairForALimitedTime Responsible adult from Planet Claire Since: Jan, 2001
Responsible adult
#103: Sep 22nd 2011 at 6:23:01 PM

Oh my. I think I might need to hunt this down and liveblog it. It would be fun.

"Proto-Indo-European makes the damnedest words related. It's great. It's the Kevin Bacon of etymology." ~Madrugada
UltimatelySubjective Since: Jun, 2011
#104: Sep 23rd 2011 at 10:43:37 PM

Trying to find an objective review on the amazon page is hard.

The first two when I looked at the page are like "It's great! I'm a fan of Tyra/I've seen people enjoy this book!" and the third one's like "I already knew what I was going to write about this book before I read it".

Still, I know which side of the fence I'd be on. I'm surprised there are so many people who love it. Is it that love it or hate it that people can't even try to be objective?

FreezairForALimitedTime Responsible adult from Planet Claire Since: Jan, 2001
Responsible adult
#105: Sep 24th 2011 at 1:08:39 AM

Well, it is a pretty polarizing concept. One could probably write many pithy and insightful words about the implications of this plot in light of modern gender roles and our assumptions on the nature of the feminine condition, the societal pressures we put on young women to be aesthetically pleasing and to strive to that end, and how our celebrities enforce or reinforce that notion... Or how famous using their clout to ghostwrite self-indulgent books is frequently corny no matter what their subject is.

"Proto-Indo-European makes the damnedest words related. It's great. It's the Kevin Bacon of etymology." ~Madrugada
TheEmeraldDragon Author in waiting Since: Feb, 2011
Author in waiting
#106: Sep 25th 2011 at 3:48:23 AM

I read the sample chapter on B&N.com. It's...interesting is probably the polite word.

I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
Fancolors I draw stuff. from Land of the Mamelucos Since: Nov, 2010
I draw stuff.
#107: Sep 25th 2011 at 7:27:10 AM

From the sample I read I say it's, well, corny. Oh, and preachy, too. Those are the most polite words I can come up with to describe the first pages.

CommanderObvious intellectual rapist from Unmei no Itaru Basho Since: Jul, 2011
intellectual rapist
#108: Sep 25th 2011 at 7:48:03 AM

hey
its better than the writing of twilight
terrible 21st century writing for teen girls have improved!

This level of trolling is reasonable for Commander Obvious. What do you think of this, everyone?
CountSpatula Possible Stomatopod from Oh, some lunar colony Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Possible Stomatopod
#109: Sep 25th 2011 at 2:40:12 PM

According to Amazon, the main character's name is "Tookie De La Crème." ...Yeah, I got nothing.

I draws things. And I seem to be some sort of marine entity.
Leradny Since: Jan, 2001
#110: Sep 25th 2011 at 4:40:47 PM

That name is making me really hungry.

Also. Uh. It's 500 pages long. If I ever snark at this I will only do the first chapter.

zerky Since: Jan, 2001
#111: Sep 25th 2011 at 7:05:21 PM

[up][up] And apparently her mom is named Creamy De La Crème.

CountSpatula Possible Stomatopod from Oh, some lunar colony Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Mu
Possible Stomatopod
#112: Sep 25th 2011 at 7:52:31 PM

It's like she got her naming scheme from a bunch of porn stars and the cast of Jersey Shore.

I draws things. And I seem to be some sort of marine entity.
TheEmeraldDragon Author in waiting Since: Feb, 2011
Author in waiting
#113: Sep 25th 2011 at 8:06:19 PM

Did anyone else notice the book is 576 pages... and the first in a trilogy...

edited 25th Sep '11 8:19:19 PM by TheEmeraldDragon

I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
DoktorvonEurotrash Lex et Veritas from Not a place of honour (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#114: Sep 26th 2011 at 1:41:11 AM

I still don't get this. I mean, how can this not be a massive trolling effort?

zerky Since: Jan, 2001
InverurieJones '80s TV Action Hero from North of the Wall. Since: Jan, 2010 Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
'80s TV Action Hero
#116: Sep 26th 2011 at 9:27:51 AM

Am I right in thinking this Banks person is some kind of clothes horse?

'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'
DoktorvonEurotrash Lex et Veritas from Not a place of honour (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#118: Sep 27th 2011 at 1:33:18 AM

Irony fails me for a moment. I wish I could even get published, let alone have my stuff adapted into movies.

Evidently it's my fault for not writing about magical photomodels.

TheEmeraldDragon Author in waiting Since: Feb, 2011
Author in waiting
#119: Sep 27th 2011 at 3:47:24 AM

Oh dear Lord...

I...no words, just, none.

I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.
LadyMomus Since: Apr, 2009
#120: Sep 27th 2011 at 5:13:48 AM

As a lover of fantasy novels, I am so tempted to eviscerate liveblog this book.

The only problem is that I'd have to buy the thing. (No libraries within 50+ miles of me has Modelland. I checked.)

CommanderObvious intellectual rapist from Unmei no Itaru Basho Since: Jul, 2011
intellectual rapist
#121: Sep 27th 2011 at 7:22:48 AM

that movie will be awesome

This level of trolling is reasonable for Commander Obvious. What do you think of this, everyone?
FreezairForALimitedTime Responsible adult from Planet Claire Since: Jan, 2001
Responsible adult
#122: Sep 27th 2011 at 7:49:59 PM

@Momus: I found something... encouraging. (For the people who want to read a liveblog of this, anyway.) Your libraries may not have it, but mine do. I could technically liveblog this. For free, if I wanted.

So someone may be able to pick up the torch...

edited 27th Sep '11 7:50:46 PM by FreezairForALimitedTime

"Proto-Indo-European makes the damnedest words related. It's great. It's the Kevin Bacon of etymology." ~Madrugada
terlwyth Since: Oct, 2010
#124: Sep 28th 2011 at 7:22:14 PM

Finally a movie that Uwe Boll could actually improve,..... by the sound of it or at least faithfully get the tone of it.

LadyMomus Since: Apr, 2009
#125: Sep 29th 2011 at 1:17:49 PM

Freezair: Bile Fascination and curiosity got the better of me. I am now the proud (?) owner of Modelland. I'll begin liveblogging it sometime in the next week.

I have finished reading the prologue and chapter 1, and already there is much to mock. Modelland has 47 chapter sandwiched in between a prologue and epilogue. I'm going to need a lot more sporks before I'm through.


Total posts: 179
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