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The "Serious Business" Critque Thread- Art

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Tumbril Since: Feb, 2010
#276: Jun 27th 2011 at 1:17:27 PM

I'm not very good with foreshortening/perspective either, but I think another part of the problem is that "the camera" seems to be in different places at the same time.

The camera is low in terms of the head, since we can see the underside of the brim. It's from above in terms of the closer hand, since we can see the thumb and top of the hand. Those first two don't contradict that much, but then the foot throws it off because it looks like we're viewing it from slightly above—it should be closer to a top down view to match the hand and head.

I tried to make an example, but there are bunch of mistakes (just now noticed that the hands are weird and more of the thumb should be visible, and the shoulder/neck area on the right one is wonky)...

edited 27th Jun '11 1:17:46 PM by Tumbril

Tumblr here.
LoniJay from Australia Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
#277: Jun 28th 2011 at 5:42:17 AM

Hey, I would like some critique on this picture.

Be not afraid...
BearyScary Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: You spin me right round, baby
#278: Jun 28th 2011 at 7:39:34 PM

Well, let's see here. I like your background. I struggle to portray nature decently at all. The coloring seems a little rushed, though. Perhaps you should stick to a more smoother brand of pencil?

I would also have to say that the character doesn't look relaxed enough. I think his torso should be pitched slightly away from us. His right arm looks a little unnatural, too. His scar should be better defined; it looks like it's just splotched onto his face.

Let me know if that was too harsh, OK? With that in mind, this was the last thing I posted to DeviantArt.

Fail legs incoming!

Do not obey in advance.
snowfoxofdeath Thou errant flap-dragon! from San Francisco Suburb Since: Apr, 2012
Thou errant flap-dragon!
#279: Jun 28th 2011 at 7:57:00 PM

Her arm and torso blended together into one object.

Is this supposed to be an anime style? That would explain the nose, lips, and hair.

Nice job with shape of the legs, actually, but the knees (or whatever the area behind the knees is called) could probably use some more subtle shading.

Is the dark area of her skirt supposed to be a pattern or a shadow? If it's a shadow, what is casting it?

I have not drawn in three months. I think it shows. Anything I need to keep in mind while on my path to redemption? The sketchiness is something that always seems to happen when I use a ballpoint pen, and I like it, but if you think it doesn't work, I'd like to know.

edited 28th Jun '11 7:57:54 PM by snowfoxofdeath

Warm hugs and morally questionable advice given here. Prosey Bitchfest
LoniJay from Australia Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
#280: Jun 29th 2011 at 3:16:09 AM

This is...not really a critique so I think you'd be entitled to another one before the thread moves on, but it really reminds me of a dung beetle. ^^' Perhaps because the markings on the rock doesn't look all that rocky?

Be not afraid...
snowfoxofdeath Thou errant flap-dragon! from San Francisco Suburb Since: Apr, 2012
Thou errant flap-dragon!
#281: Jun 29th 2011 at 10:09:30 AM

I think I kind of drew a symbol in it. Epic fail at portraying nature.

Warm hugs and morally questionable advice given here. Prosey Bitchfest
Edmania o hai from under a pile of erasers Since: Apr, 2010
o hai
#282: Jun 30th 2011 at 7:54:22 AM

This is what happens when you don't draw for three months.

DON'T END UP LIKE ME, PEOPLE. PRACTICE.

Drawing at some point before I stopped drawing for over three months

My first drawing after that break (well, first drawing of a humanoid, the actual first thing I drew was a sword which can't be compared as easily)

Though that more than three months was mainly due to me doing art on the computer rather than the pencil(and no I wasn't using a tablet), but still...

Also, one of my drawings from 8 years ago (I am 20 right now)

One of my drawings from near now

Also the older stuff were scanned today, which is why they all have similar scan qualities, I don't think I even had a scanner around age 10 (or at least didn't know how to use one.)

There are many things that seem to be wrong with this but the only one I can tell is that the neck should not be placed there. By the way, how obviously photoshopped on does the crotch-guard look?

edited 30th Jun '11 8:57:11 AM by Edmania

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
Leradny Since: Jan, 2001
#283: Jul 5th 2011 at 11:02:48 PM

  • In general: You use straight lines far more than is necessary, particularly for faces and for hair. Eyes are not boxes. Even straight hair, unless it's short and gelled (which don't seem to apply to either drawings), uses curved lines.

  • You also have the problem of drawing the exact same face for every character. I can't tell whether they are male or female, old or young. Study from real life first, and apply stylization later.
    • Well-drawn anime has more in terms of face shape than the infamous pointy chin and big eyes. This also includes the hairlines.
    • Change up the eyebrows. Generally, men's eyebrows are thick and straight while women have thinner, curved brows.
    • Eye shapes vary a lot, too, as well as size and placement.

  • Don't include drawings produced more than five years ago. And if you're particularly prolific, don't include anything older than three years. Unless you suffered a hand injury between now and then, the first one is automatically assumed to be worse.

  • The last one is actually very good. The crotch-plate looks blurry, but if you hadn't told me it was edited in, I would have just assumed smudging or something. A darker outline and some sharpening ought to help it out. I will say that the sword arm is crooked, though.

edited 6th Jul '11 11:13:18 AM by Leradny

Edmania o hai from under a pile of erasers Since: Apr, 2010
o hai
#284: Jul 6th 2011 at 10:08:19 AM

You also have the problem of drawing the exact same face for every character. I can't tell whether they are male or female, old or young.

I don't see how your well-drawn anime link has a face differing from each other either if mine are all the same. The male/female/old/young part doesn't really bother me that much unless your problem is that it literally does not look like anything young, old, female or male, instead of you just being unable to assume a vague age and gender because of the similarities.

Study from real life first, and apply stylization later.

I did. Well, sort of. As in "screw it i'm terrible at trying to copy i'll just do my own crud" rather than "actually began by looking at IRL stuff" though if you're telling me to do the latter then tell me how to time travel.

Don't include drawings produced more than five years ago. And if you're particularly prolific, don't include anything older than three years. Unless you suffered a hand injury between now and then, the first one is automatically assumed to be worse.

I only put those first four for the purpose of responding to the comment about not practicing really, I didn't expect them to actually be criticized.

edited 6th Jul '11 10:12:17 AM by Edmania

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
Leradny Since: Jan, 2001
#285: Jul 6th 2011 at 10:24:04 AM

How was I supposed to know I didn't have to critique pictures posted in the Serious Business Critique Thread?

Anyway: You need to work on your observation skills a little harder if you can't see the differences in those face shapes. If you drew an outline each one, and put them on top of each other, none would match up to the next.

Edmania o hai from under a pile of erasers Since: Apr, 2010
o hai
#286: Jul 6th 2011 at 10:26:29 AM

None of my faces match up to the next either(except for pictures where characters are supposed to look absurdly similar, like some twins) which is why I asked how they're supposed to be different when mine are all exactly the same.

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
Leradny Since: Jan, 2001
#287: Jul 6th 2011 at 10:37:48 AM

I meant that there is not enough of a difference to be noticeable to the average viewer.

Compare yours to the sheet. Admittedly, the oblong/round/oval shapes are more subtle as well as the square/rectangular, but you can't tell me you don't see a difference between "heart" and "triangle".

Edmania o hai from under a pile of erasers Since: Apr, 2010
o hai
#288: Jul 6th 2011 at 10:46:13 AM

The chins seem to be the only thing that matter if the bangs are long enough though.

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
Leradny Since: Jan, 2001
#289: Jul 6th 2011 at 10:48:33 AM

No, it'd still be visible since bangs would still need to cover the entirety of the noticeably broader or narrower forehead.

And suppose the character was wearing a popped collar!

edited 6th Jul '11 10:48:58 AM by Leradny

Edmania o hai from under a pile of erasers Since: Apr, 2010
o hai
#290: Jul 6th 2011 at 11:08:32 AM

-looks up popped collar-

uhh...i'm not seeing how that would change anything.

I did however just realize that certain kinds of headgear will be differently shaped if it is tightly worn.

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
Leradny Since: Jan, 2001
#291: Jul 6th 2011 at 11:13:19 AM

Oh, I meant a standing collar. Or a scarf, or something that would obscure their chin.

Anyway, yes, head and face shape is quite important to the way things fit, even loose articles. If you have learned that, and will pay more attention to emphasizing differences where they would be allowed, I have fulfilled what I set out to do.


Reposting: My first piece of colored art. I forgot the highlights on her hair, I know. Also I am not used to drawing on a tablet, so the lines are shaky and I didn't do a good job of staying in the lines.

Mostly I want to know if it is a distinct character design.

Junfez Harlot from Boston Since: Jun, 2011
Harlot
#292: Jul 8th 2011 at 3:10:06 PM

It's distinct, the top and the hair are kind of unique. The ears are a bit weird, but that's all.

Er, I'd like some critique on this.

At the end of the game, both the king and pawn go back in the same box.
Wheezy @TheCSJones on everything else. from West Philadelphia, but not born or raised. (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: How does it feel to treat me like you do?
@TheCSJones on everything else.
#293: Jul 8th 2011 at 4:17:45 PM

[up]I'm sorry, but I have no idea how to criticize abstract art. I'm not trying to be a douche, I just don't know what it's "supposed" to look like, so I can't offer you any suggestions on how to get it there.

[up][up]

It's kind of a distinct character design. The shirt's interesting, and you don't see double-pigtails often... But she's still kind of a Cookie Cutter Cutie.

  1. You're trying for a more realistic style, which is awesome. I like how you avoid most of the Moe tropes and make young women actually look like young women instead of overgrown eight year-olds.
  2. Your proportions are also pretty good.

Negatives:

  1. Just a few posts ago, you were telling Edmania to draw from life and use photo references. It's very good advice, so I'd recommend you try it yourself.
  2. Shading. Use it. One of the tablet's best features is how good they are for shading. Take advantage of that. Plenty of guides on how light falls on the face from different angles are only a Google search away, and there's no reason not to use them.
  3. The nose is lopsided. Plus, real noses come to a rounded point in the center. They're not flat on the bottom.
  4. Your angles need work: The head's leaning to the right, the eyes slant up too much at the ends, and the necklace should fall straight down instead of to the left.

Maybe you could try revising it if you saved the original. Also, try getting a used copy of Photoshop Elements - probably one of the mid-'00s versions, online. It should be cheaper.

—-

More webcomic concept art.

I didn't want to post this until I finished it, but I'm moving this weekend, so it'll be a minute before I can even get back to drawing.

Novel progress: The Adroan, 110k; Yume no Hime, 98k; The Pigeon Witch, on pause at 40k.
Leradny Since: Jan, 2001
#294: Jul 8th 2011 at 4:56:40 PM

RE nose being lopsided, necklace being crooked, eyes slanting, head leaning to the right: It's my first time with a tablet, that was the least terrible version I managed even with tracing over the original.

RE photo references and Cookie Cutter Cutie: I did use a photo reference, actually. But my fail is pretty hard, so I don't blame you for thinking I didn't.

The eyes are noted. Shading is also noted. I shall redo this after some more practice. Thank you very much. I will critique your thing later.

betterthanstrawberry Dreaming out loud. from back in the atmosphere. Since: Sep, 2010
Dreaming out loud.
#295: Jul 8th 2011 at 5:35:06 PM

For GIMP users! I made a brush pack... thoughts?

Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science.
Tumbril Since: Feb, 2010
#296: Jul 8th 2011 at 7:13:04 PM

[up][up][up][up] As a disclaimer, I'm okay at giving advice in terms of improving proportion and stuff, but I find it a lot harder to critique abstract art. I'll try my best!...but feel free to ignore what I say if it doesn't sound right. Everything I know on abstract art is from being forced to practice it in class, so needless to say I don't really think it's my forte. -__- But anyway.

I think the main problem is the lack of a clear focal point. When I first glanced at it, it seemed like the entire thing was all foreground; I couldn't easily distinguish what part was supposed to stand out to me. After studying it for a bit, I can see that you've got some shapes coming from the top right corner that sort of "curl" into the pink 6-pointed star thing, so that directional quality makes that part stand out. However, I think this needs to be emphasized more, but luckily, especially since this is abstract, there are tons of ways to do this (using different shapes in the foreground/background, different values/hues/saturations, outlines, etc.) As it is now, there isn't a lot of variation in values/saturations or in shapes, which is why everything appears to blend together for me.

I think the easiest part to start with would just be to choose your shapes more carefully to make sure they'll direct the viewer's eye to what you want them to look at. Sort of like this.

Of course this is all moot if you're trying to go the anti-art route and make completely dada style, stuff.

[up] Those are really cool! I don't actually have much use for camouflage patterns, but after playing around with them for a few minutes I've found that the British desert camo makes nice textures when set on overlay mode and combined with just a flat canvas. The only thing I'm curious about is why you set the spacing so high, though it's not a big issue because GIMP lets you alter the spacing.

Tumblr here.
betterthanstrawberry Dreaming out loud. from back in the atmosphere. Since: Sep, 2010
Dreaming out loud.
#297: Jul 8th 2011 at 7:24:48 PM

Thank you! Anything I need to do?

edited 8th Jul '11 7:26:10 PM by betterthanstrawberry

Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science.
WaterToFire Since: Dec, 1969
#298: Jul 9th 2011 at 5:44:49 PM

It appeared that previous links had been reviewed, so here's one of mine: [1]

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#299: Jul 15th 2011 at 3:47:28 PM

Here is mine. Same picture, colored.


[up]The problem with something abstractish is that there isn't much to criticize. You can do whatever you want, because it's in your head and your head only.

It looks 'really really good. If I had to say something, it's that the designs of the machine thingy look painted on, as opposed to everything else which looks more real.

Other than that, I really do like it a lot.

edited 16th Jul '11 9:28:04 AM by MrAHR

Read my stories!
LoniJay from Australia Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
#300: Jul 17th 2011 at 8:16:57 PM

I can't see the uncoloured one very well, so I'll just go by the coloured one.

I think your faces and hands are good. So are the body proportions, although the girl seems very straight (no pun intended) up and down - you could almost draw a straight line from her armpit to her heel.

You could probably add more clothing folds - I can see what you're doing with the ones across her chest, but I don't think it's perfect yet. Maybe also a little more detail on the hair?

—-

Could I get some critique on this piece?

Be not afraid...

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