My first fanfiction.

Written at around◊ 7 years of age◊. Now translated into English.

The Sonic Story [1st part]

In a land where there's only animals lives the hedgehog Sonic. One bad day the earth shakes and a flying machine closed in on the land. It was horrible! "That is the infamous inventor and environmental bad guy Dr. Robotnik"!!! he screamed. In the twinkling of an eye all the animals were gone! Only few were still there. Sonic only heard a [image: "Enough for the first time." "gulp"] "That was the last thing we needed!" he thought. I must do something against that Robotnik." "Hello, my friend says a funny sounding voice. Sonic turns around. There stood a little fox with two tails! "W-what is your name?", Sonic asks the fox. "My name is Tails*." "Tails?" "Tails is English and means tails!" "Aha!" "Are you new hier?" "Yes, I come from the land of computers." "Aha!" "!!!!!" "What's up?" "There is a note in the grass!" Sonic picked it up and read: "If you want your friends back, come! There is a map on the back! I'm just building weapons for my Ufo! Sincerely, Robotnik." "Oh, no!" Tails shouted. "Wait! Said Sonic, You have friends, don't you?" "Natch! 49 with you, and they all happen to still be there!" answered Tails. "Good!" "Why?" "We won't manage Robotnik alone! That's why we need allies!" Exlained Sonic to Tails. "I understand! The map will lead us to Robotnik, right?" "Right. And now off to find your friends!"

To be continued.

*Täils

The Sonic Story [Part 2]

Sonic and Tails soon found everyone. And soon Sonic opened a Sonic-school. And soon started the 4-day long education. And soon everyone could do the Sonic-Attack. And soon the rescue-mission started. The biggest slogan was: "Always beware of the enemies!" The good thing: The "enemies" are actually normal animals on which the Robotnik-Curse lies, example: [bird] + Robotnik-C. = [flying Badnik]. that's actually stupid, but -> [picture showing Sonic jumping on the Badnik] the enemy transforms back - if (for example) Sonic jumps on him with the Sonic-Attack. But there are many more enemies than the example shows. Thus they wandered through many zones, always on the go. But they weren't alone, because besides the animals there is also Robotnik. And he is a coward, too, because he always comes in machines [see list (not in that order!)] First came a car*, then the ufo*, with a spike below, then the same with a burner*, then a ufo, with a chain where at the end there's a rock. And after that came a ufo* with a hand that held an hammer, e.t.c!
It was very hard to beat them all! They allmost lost Tails! But now came the icing on the cake: the robot!-> [robot]
Soon 47 were in hospital. Then Eddy flew directly into the spikes! Only due to Berty and Sonic the Robot exploded before it hit Eddy! "Thanks for rescuing me!" "But Eddy what are friends for?"

The end

*see list for attacks

But that's not all! Included in the package came the "list", which is a whole bunch of sheets of paper glued to another which show all of the Sonic team members, their names, and an action-packed scene of them jumping at Robotnik with a spectacular Sonic-Attack! The list contains such anthropomorphized wonders as, in order:

Sonic, Tails, a quadrosaur with an asterisk saying that that species doesn't actually exist, a bird, a rat, Over Sonic (he's yellow), a germ, a squirrel, an ant, an earthworm, a ladybug, a chameleon, a nondescript dinosaur, a kangaroo, a rabbit, a penguin, a slimey guy, Diddl◊, an octopus, a wooden sign telling you to keep the environment clean, a hamster, a sea snake, a tiger, a spider, a bat, a greenfly, a duck called Dubby, a very grumpy recycling garbage can, a teddy bear, a turtle, a field mouse, a dragon, a ghost, a one-eyed yellow monster, a check over 100,000 DM, a crocodile, a dragonfly, Light Speed (he's green), a fish, a doggy with a really long tail, Bomberman, a red hedgehog, a purple hedgehog called "Kuno Km,h", a private jet, some sort of toon guy, a red robot hedgehog, a blue slimey guy who's the brother of the first slimey guy, an alien who looks remarkably like something out of The Flintstones, and a machine that appears to be a mix between a vaccuum and a turtle that apparently gets red eyes with its ring counter under 7.

...

...

I got nothing.

edited 11th Nov '09 9:59:16 AM by Fawriel

No you do not.

I salute you for your bravery, sir.

I did this sort of thing when I was like twelve. Darker and Edgier Pokémon. >_>

I must admit - you were pretty brave to post this.

edited 11th Nov '09 3:17:06 PM by Zero0

What's braveness got to do with it?

Well, there's no way that I could stand posting any of my Old Shame...

LITTLE FAWRIEL'S HANDWRITING AND ILLUSTRATIONS ARE ADORABLE.

FAW!! Little You and Little Me wrote G's and H's the same way!

Actually, Fawriel's handwriting looks a lot like mine used to (except, you know, German). I suppose that that's not too weird. I wonder if most children have similar handwriting.

Oh man, Jinxed! We must be GH soulmates!

I still don't see what the courage is about! I was a little kid then. Any mistake I made then is by definition cute. Except maybe that time I killed someone.

Was that someone in the car you attacked, by any chance?

This is the most adorable thing I have seen all day. Thanks for sharing it!

id have to be a heartless bastard to make fun of you... those drawings are so cute :3

Y'know Faw I think little kids tend to write very similiarly when their little... but yeah XD

Aaaw, that's sweet.

I am only thankful that my first attempt at a Megaman X fanfiction never saw the light of day. It involved a flat, unoriginal Marty Stu teaming up with X and Zero (who are barely useful at all in comparison to Stu's 1337 Do Anything Robot skillz) to fight 8 more bosses. I think I might have it on one of my old computers, but frankly, I don't think you want to see it. I only managed to write one chapter of it anyway

As for your fanfic, I personally think it's adorable. There's a certain childlike innocence about it. You can find a billion things wrong with it, but you can't really bring yourself to criticize it too badly because you can tell that there's a child behind it.

That said, this fanfic is begging to have a cartoon/dramatic reading made of it.

That said, this fanfic is begging to have a cartoon/dramatic reading made of it.

Hold that thought.

Man, this brought a smile to my face and the nostalgia of my first Fanfic came flooding back to me.

Even though you are several years older now, I still can't criticize it. Like it was said before, it's so childlike and innocent in its nature. You can't be angry at something written by a seven year old. Now if the author is, say, 14, that's a whole nother story.

My first fanfic was a Blue's Clues Hurt/Comfort Fic. With puking.

...Faw, that was cute!

I wrote fan fiction without realizing it was fan fiction when I was like 7-9, usually X-Men / Sailor Moon crossovers.

>_>

So did I, heh! About an old PS 1 game called Croc? Anyone remember it?

But yeah, I don't have it any more, which is a shame, really.

Also, I've gone off-topic...! >_>

Nice story Fawriel, it puts Croc: Legend of the Crystals to shame. *weeps*

edited 13th Aug '10 6:03:57 AM by E.H.Grayson

Dude.

This is hella good for something you wrote when you were seven. And I'm not saying that it's terrible but acceptable because you were seven. I'm saying I hardly think it's terrible at all.

Obviously it's not good in the same way good fics are good, but it's totally not grating and annoying like bad fics. It's a simple, cutesy little thing about Sonic and Tails. And plenty of exclamation marks. Exclamation marks make everything better (except when stockpiled at one sentence).

Amusing and funny and made me smile.

Hehe, I second the dramatic reading notion.

Looking back, I essentially wrote a Who Framed Roger Rabbit fanfic for a class. It was about Eddie Valiant (not named, but implied) investigating the mysterious disappearance of cereal mascots. No points for guessing the title...

I wonder if I still have it. My parents kept most of my stuff from that age.

That is so adorable, Faw :3

The fact that it's in German seems to make it all the more cute and amusing.

My first fan-fic was an atrociously written Warhamemr 40000 story, that I took down earlier in the year. It was 4 chapters long, and maybe 8000 words in total. It is considered an Old Shame. Mind you, my new stuff isn't much better.