Emrakul is a little traumatized after her last boyfriend betrayed
her.
Dear Lord, what has this thread wrought....
Also, I guess that means that Mr. Duck (sorry, Dack) Fayden is correct when he claims he's not a thief. He's just a tabloid journalist. Too bad he isn't Hunter S. Thompson....
I ask the questions that should never be answered. Good thing I have Brain Bleach...I noticed someone compile all the dumb reminder texts from Portal.
- Draw a card (You draw from your deck)
- Destroy all creatures (This includes your creatures)
- Swamp Walk (A swamp is in play regardless of weather or not it is tapped or untapped.)
- Destroy target creature if it isn't black (A creature is black if it has {B} in its mana cost.)
- You lose the game at the end of that turn (You don't lose the game if you already won.)
- You may chose to tap any one creature (Tapped creatures cant intercept)
- Deals damage equal to the number of mountains you have in play (This includes booth tapped and untapped mountains)
- When Serpent Warrior comes into play from your hand, you lose 3 life. (The person who plays Serpent Warrior loses the life.)
- All white creatures get +2/+0 (This includes other players white creatures)
- All creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn (For example, a 1/2 would become a 2/3)
I'm just imagining them playtesting with tons of small children to see what mistakes one could conceivably make with the printed texts.
"Okay Billy, draw a card."
/draws from opponent's deck
/designer scribbles in his notepad
But to be fair, after playing this game for so long, it's easy to forget that a lot of what we know isn't immediately obvious to brand new players.
Ruining everything forever.That'll be me, alright. Provided you're still around when I get back home and my Internet there is working.
A store has a tourney tomorrow if they get enough people, so I'd like to try out the slightly inferior deck I already own. It's just missing three of what I think is a non-vital dual land in the main deck, so it should be okay. If that doesn't cut it, I could figure something else out.
Ruining everything forever.

Better yet, how about a romantic comedy starring Eldrazi?
The three titans can have a love triangle. (Emrakul is the leading lady.)
Ruining everything forever.