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Gelzo Gerald Zosewater from the vault Since: Oct, 2009
Gerald Zosewater
#15676: Nov 8th 2011 at 11:46:45 PM

Better yet, how about a romantic comedy starring Eldrazi?

The three titans can have a love triangle. (Emrakul is the leading lady.)

Ruining everything forever.
juancarlos Faith in the self. Since: Mar, 2012
Faith in the self.
#15677: Nov 8th 2011 at 11:50:14 PM

"I'm going to anihilate you, dear."

ETA: That sounds like a porn line

well, it is innuendo, but stilll ._.

edited 8th Nov '11 11:50:40 PM by juancarlos

"My life is my own" | If you want to contact me privately, please ask first on the forum.
Idler20 Rabbit Season Since: Oct, 2010
Rabbit Season
#15678: Nov 8th 2011 at 11:51:58 PM

"I guess it's time to introduce her to the Butcher of Truth."

(beat)

"The Butcher is my penis".

You're an ad hominem attack!
Gelzo Gerald Zosewater from the vault Since: Oct, 2009
Gerald Zosewater
#15679: Nov 8th 2011 at 11:54:01 PM

"Hope you're ready for a long night, because I can gyrate infinitely."

Ruining everything forever.
Idler20 Rabbit Season Since: Oct, 2010
Rabbit Season
#15680: Nov 8th 2011 at 11:57:00 PM

"Gently, gently! You'll tear my aeons at this rate!"

You're an ad hominem attack!
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#15681: Nov 9th 2011 at 12:02:54 AM

Emrakul is a little traumatized after her last boyfriend betrayed her.

Aldheim Since: Sep, 2010
#15682: Nov 9th 2011 at 12:03:24 AM

You two just made me wake my neighbors up with laughter.

edited 9th Nov '11 12:03:36 AM by Aldheim

Haven Planescape Hijack Since: Jan, 2001
Planescape Hijack
#15683: Nov 9th 2011 at 12:05:54 AM

Well, now I know why there are so many Eldrazi Spawn.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
SpruceZeus Since: Aug, 2011
#15684: Nov 9th 2011 at 12:06:57 AM

oh my god i just had the best deck idea ever.

TorchLighter AHA! 32 flavours... Since: Jun, 2010
AHA! 32 flavours...
#15685: Nov 9th 2011 at 12:07:37 AM

Dear Lord, what has this thread wrought....

Also, I guess that means that Mr. Duck (sorry, Dack) Fayden is correct when he claims he's not a thief. He's just a tabloid journalist. Too bad he isn't Hunter S. Thompson....

I ask the questions that should never be answered. Good thing I have Brain Bleach...
Gelzo Gerald Zosewater from the vault Since: Oct, 2009
Gerald Zosewater
#15686: Nov 9th 2011 at 1:48:37 AM

I noticed someone compile all the dumb reminder texts from Portal.

  • Draw a card (You draw from your deck)
  • Destroy all creatures (This includes your creatures)
  • Swamp Walk (A swamp is in play regardless of weather or not it is tapped or untapped.)
  • Destroy target creature if it isn't black (A creature is black if it has {B} in its mana cost.)
  • You lose the game at the end of that turn (You don't lose the game if you already won.)
  • You may chose to tap any one creature (Tapped creatures cant intercept)
  • Deals damage equal to the number of mountains you have in play (This includes booth tapped and untapped mountains)
  • When Serpent Warrior comes into play from your hand, you lose 3 life. (The person who plays Serpent Warrior loses the life.)
  • All white creatures get +2/+0 (This includes other players white creatures)
  • All creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn (For example, a 1/2 would become a 2/3)

Ruining everything forever.
Zennistrad from The Multiverse Since: Jul, 2011 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#15687: Nov 9th 2011 at 2:01:05 AM

Portal was made to be a player's very first set, so it's kind of justified, but some of those reminders are so obvious that it's an insult to the intelligence of the players.

Gelzo Gerald Zosewater from the vault Since: Oct, 2009
Gerald Zosewater
#15688: Nov 9th 2011 at 2:10:09 AM

I'm just imagining them playtesting with tons of small children to see what mistakes one could conceivably make with the printed texts.

"Okay Billy, draw a card."

/draws from opponent's deck

/designer scribbles in his notepad

But to be fair, after playing this game for so long, it's easy to forget that a lot of what we know isn't immediately obvious to brand new players.

Ruining everything forever.
SpruceZeus Since: Aug, 2011
#15689: Nov 9th 2011 at 2:14:24 AM

hmm, after a couple failed attempts at making fun time spiral decks, i have managed to make something absolutely hilarious.

KylerThatch literary masochist Since: Jan, 2001
literary masochist
#15690: Nov 9th 2011 at 4:04:06 AM

Destroy all creatures. (This does not include real-life creatures outside the game.)

This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...
Idler20 Rabbit Season Since: Oct, 2010
Rabbit Season
#15691: Nov 9th 2011 at 4:06:32 AM

"I play Wrath of God."

"Okay, fi-hey, what are you doing with the cat!?"

edited 9th Nov '11 4:06:40 AM by Idler20

You're an ad hominem attack!
juancarlos Faith in the self. Since: Mar, 2012
Faith in the self.
#15692: Nov 9th 2011 at 7:19:04 AM

So going to play Wrath Of God with an idiot some time.

"My life is my own" | If you want to contact me privately, please ask first on the forum.
Exelixi Lesbarian from Alchemist's workshop Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
#15693: Nov 9th 2011 at 8:45:46 AM

Captain Obvious rules texts remind me of a 2HG game I played once.

"If you can play Damnation, do so, otherwise we're fucked."

-Turns on Rock and Roll Damnation by ACDC-

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#15694: Nov 9th 2011 at 10:45:57 AM

When this creature enters the battlefield (This does not require you to be playing at Gettysburg)

edited 9th Nov '11 11:56:42 AM by CountDorku

SpruceZeus Since: Aug, 2011
DarkConfidant Since: Aug, 2011
#15696: Nov 9th 2011 at 3:01:11 PM

I'd kind of like to start dabbling in Modern format, so if anyone wants to play competitive Modern, I'm good for a few games. Let me through together a reasonable list first. Been working on one to play...

Gelzo Gerald Zosewater from the vault Since: Oct, 2009
Gerald Zosewater
#15697: Nov 9th 2011 at 3:10:20 PM

That'll be me, alright. Provided you're still around when I get back home and my Internet there is working.

A store has a tourney tomorrow if they get enough people, so I'd like to try out the slightly inferior deck I already own. It's just missing three of what I think is a non-vital dual land in the main deck, so it should be okay. If that doesn't cut it, I could figure something else out.

Ruining everything forever.
Exelixi Lesbarian from Alchemist's workshop Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
#15698: Nov 9th 2011 at 3:10:50 PM

Note to self: Just because Tezzeret, Agent of Bollocks is an awesome card doesn't mean I can use him very well.

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
DarkConfidant Since: Aug, 2011
#15699: Nov 9th 2011 at 3:19:56 PM

I'm hoping to go to GP Lincoln in February since it's only a four hour drive up there, so I want to do some testing so I have an idea what to spend my holiday $ on and trade for.

Gelzo Gerald Zosewater from the vault Since: Oct, 2009
Gerald Zosewater
#15700: Nov 9th 2011 at 3:28:26 PM

From what I hear, the meta is at a kind of standstill until we get the decklists from Worlds.

Ruining everything forever.

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