Goofus defends his Neo-Nazi client, who is currently being charged of murdering Jews due to "their Jewishness."
Gallant never does tobacco.
The Video Guy
Goofus smokes around children and spits tobacco in restaurants.
Gallant takes in stray pets every chance he gets.
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
Get heckin crabbed
Goofus takes them in as well. His restaurant's specialty is mystery meat stew.
Gallant does a lot of research before buying a car and scores an excellent deal.
Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️
Bonnie's Artistic Cousin
Goofus does, too...just so he can turn around and sell them at his Honest John's Dealership for double the original price.
Gallant practices both the physical and disciplinary component of martial arts, becoming a well-respected black-belt.
Current Project: Incorruptible Pure Pureness
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus' name is regularly invoked on the Bullshido forums.
Gallant keeps his end zone celebrations simple, but still entertaining.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Goofus draws out his post-game speeches for 24 hours. And that's the celebration.
Gallant respects nature.
Bonnie's Artistic Cousin
Goofus regularly raids the city dump for the sole purpose of littering waste around the land.
Gallant stops and asks for help when lost.
Edited by WarJay77 on Sep 18th 2019 at 10:19:29 AM
Current Project: Incorruptible Pure Pureness
The Video Guy
Goofus gives directions that make him even more lost.
Gallant performs on the street with an a capella group.
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
The Fourth-Placers' Revenge
Goofus performs on the street with an a capella group... at three in the morning, with megaphones for all of them to ensure they wake up the entire neighbourhood.
Gallant shares his snacks with his friends.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.
Get heckin crabbed
Goofus turns his friends into snacks.
Gallant takes beautiful photos.
Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️
Goofus takes beautiful photos from people's homes
Gallant knows a second language
Bonnie's Artistic Cousin
Goofus thinks American is a language, and claims to not know English.
After winning the lottery, Gallant shares half of it with his loved ones, and saves the rest.
Current Project: Incorruptible Pure Pureness
After stealing from all the homeless people in Goofus's country, he then donates he money to Neo-Nazi groups.
Gallant does his homework on time.
Get heckin crabbed
Goofus drops out to avoid doing homework at all.
Gallant the Genie grants wishes in way that do the most good.
Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️
Goofus the genie only grants wishes that inflict sadistic pain on others.
@Maxwell Daring: Goofus and his "antifascist" followers savagely beat a young boy for waving with his right hand. His defense in court: "he was tots a Nazi".
Gallant is a Columbian citizen who recognizes that Duke is not a role model to be emulated.
Edited by randomtroper89 on Sep 20th 2019 at 4:06:29 AM
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus looks at the posters and says, "Hey! They're totally ripping us off! Also, I am not a Dimwit!"
Gallant only uses his AR-15 to hunt for sport, and follows all sensible gun safety protocols.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
eh
Goofus peers into the barrel and blows his head off.
Gallant lets people enjoy being themselves.
Get heckin crabbed
Goofus brainwashed people into being like him.
Gallant shares important supplies with those that need them.
Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️
Goofus hoards everything supply item.
Gallant does not call COVID-19 the "Chinese Flu".
The Fourth-Placers' Revenge
Goofus doesn't call COVID-19 the "Chinese Flu" either - instead of "Chinese", he uses a string of ethnic slurs.
Gallant is always polite to waitstaff and tips well.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.
What comes up
Goofus is a regularly mentioned in the customer is not always right.
Gallant allows fanfics fan works, fan songs,etc so long as the fans don't try to make money off them.
"So I'm going to be a hero. I'll make that money...So that my mom and dad can have easier lives!"
Not a Fragile Flower
Goofus files fraudulent copyright claims and DMCA takedown against them.
Gallant always uses protection. "Get me a gun, I'm a soldier; but put me in that suit and I'm a superhero." - Gunnery Sgt Roberta "Bobbie" Draper MMC
See ya later.
Goofus has contracted every known STI (as well as some unknown ones) and his children make up one-tenth of the world population.
Gallant is respectful to retail employees.
You can find me here now.
Get heckin crabbed
Goofus plays knockout with retail employees.
Gallant cooks for his mom on Mother's Day.
Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️
Goofus Suffers Newbies Poorly.
Gallant is a Crusading Lawyer who, as a prosecuting attorney, fights to see that victims of crime and injustice are properly compensated and the perpetrators punished (within reason).
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!