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Gallant and Goofus

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Chabal2 Fear me from Plains of Tolosa
Fear me
Jul 21st 2010 at 1:06:56 PM

Goofus leaves his TV and computer on all the time, permanently displaying live sexcams or streaming porn of the filthiest variety.

Gallant apologizes when he sneezes.

HungryJoe Gristknife from Under the Tree
Gristknife
Jul 21st 2010 at 2:44:21 PM

Goofus has contracted an airborne strain of AIDS that hhe spreads with delighted abandon.

Gallant likes to relax with a nice lemonade.

Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
Chabal2 Fear me from Plains of Tolosa
Fear me
Jul 21st 2010 at 2:45:19 PM

Goofus masturbates in Gallant's lemonade.

Gallant tries new foods.

CrowT.Robot Trainspotter from Ga-Metru
Trainspotter
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:31:21 PM

Goofus deliberatly mixes rat poison, dumpster refuse, and human feces into the foods, for no other reason than the fact that he likes to see people suffer.

Gallant is always careful around strangers.

edited 21st Jul '10 3:40:46 PM by CrowT.Robot

Formerly known as Crow T. Robot.
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:45:58 PM

Goofus follows men three times his age to windowless vans with the promise of candy.

Gallant brushes his teeth after every meal.

Tropers Watching Movies
Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR
Embrace the mindscrew
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:46:08 PM

Goofus never brushes his teeth. Ever.

Gallant drives according to the law.

edited 21st Jul '10 3:46:37 PM by Zyxzy

What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:49:48 PM

Goofus drives on the sidewalk.

Gallant always does his homework on Fridays so he can enjoy the rest of the weekend in peace.

Tropers Watching Movies
CrowT.Robot Trainspotter from Ga-Metru
Trainspotter
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:49:55 PM

Goofus doesn't do his homework at all, and the teacher finds it crumpled in his desk a month later covered with crude drawings of human copulation.

Gallant always says "please" and "thank you".

edited 21st Jul '10 3:50:44 PM by CrowT.Robot

Formerly known as Crow T. Robot.
Ryusui It's The Greatest Day. from In The Middle Of A Field
It's The Greatest Day.
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:51:26 PM

Goofus and Gallant was the first thing that came to mind when I read #3 on Cracked.com's list of "6 Acts of Propaganda That Backfired Hilariously".

http://www.cracked.com/article_18623_6-acts-propaganda-that-backfired-hilariously_p2.html

In the event of a firestorm, the salad bar will remain open.
rumetzen The best there is from Austin, Texas
The best there is
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:54:01 PM

Goofus punches people to show appreciation

Gallant always wears a condom.

Stupid, you could say these masculine thoughts are homosexual 'Cause they blow heads like that dead clothes designer
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:55:06 PM

Goofus is the father to three dozen kids out of wedlock.

Gallant looks both ways before crossing the street.

Tropers Watching Movies
CrowT.Robot Trainspotter from Ga-Metru
Trainspotter
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:55:54 PM

Goofus deliberately manipulates cars into crashing.

Gallant works hard on his projects.

Formerly known as Crow T. Robot.
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:56:40 PM

Goofus makes his father do his.

Gallant studies diligently the night before an exam.

Tropers Watching Movies
rumetzen The best there is from Austin, Texas
The best there is
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:57:35 PM

Goofus is to busy studying his penis for that.

Gallant only eats Free-Range meat.

Stupid, you could say these masculine thoughts are homosexual 'Cause they blow heads like that dead clothes designer
CrowT.Robot Trainspotter from Ga-Metru
Trainspotter
Jul 21st 2010 at 3:59:15 PM

Goofus pumps free-range cows with Mad Cow disease in order to kill people.

Gallant is kind to his pets and feeds them daily.

(I like Goofus as a Complete Monster...)

edited 21st Jul '10 3:59:54 PM by CrowT.Robot

Formerly known as Crow T. Robot.
TyrannoStorm Lord of ___ from GMT -7
Lord of ___
Jul 21st 2010 at 4:13:33 PM

Goofus buys expensive food, sets it outside his pet's cage, and taunts him with it.

Gallant always wears sunscreen while he swims.

I hate quotes. Tell me what you know- Anonymous
Reecer6 Defiler of Shops from Crowning Moment Of Awesome
Defiler of Shops
Jul 21st 2010 at 5:11:10 PM

Goofus puts on negative fifty sunscreen just to get an instant red skin.

Gallant doesn't make fun of Goofus's punny name.

Soul is ugly.
CrowT.Robot Trainspotter from Ga-Metru
Trainspotter
Jul 21st 2010 at 5:13:50 PM

Gallant mocks foreigner's names incessently.

Gallant is always kind to his friends.

Formerly known as Crow T. Robot.
WillyFourEyes Skull Kid from some Netherworld Relationship Status: In another castle
Skull Kid
Jul 21st 2010 at 5:32:55 PM

Not only does Goofus mock his so-called friends at every opportunity, he always plays multiplayer games with friendly fire turned on.

Gallant always rewinds his tapes before returning them to the video store.

"I'll be honest with you...we're just throwing science at a wall here to see what sticks."
CrowT.Robot Trainspotter from Ga-Metru
Trainspotter
Jul 21st 2010 at 5:36:35 PM

Goofus videotapes hardcore porn over them and then returns them to the store, after making sure that they are deliberately fast-forwarded to the end.

Gallant always tells the truth.

edited 21st Jul '10 5:36:57 PM by CrowT.Robot

Formerly known as Crow T. Robot.
WillyFourEyes Skull Kid from some Netherworld Relationship Status: In another castle
KuroFox Forum lurking fox from under a rock
Forum lurking fox
Jul 21st 2010 at 5:37:53 PM

EDIT: damn ninjas... And "puff puffs?"

edited 21st Jul '10 5:38:28 PM by KuroFox

Sonic hates SOPA
Jul 21st 2010 at 5:38:17 PM

^^^Goofus lets his mother take the fall for his crack dealing.

^^Goofus bogarts the fuck out of that spliff like an asshole.

Gallant aims to read one novel each month.

edited 21st Jul '10 5:40:14 PM by SeanMurrayI

Tropers Watching Movies
CrowT.Robot Trainspotter from Ga-Metru
Trainspotter
Jul 21st 2010 at 5:40:13 PM

Goofus buys all the copies of the latest books from his local bookstores, only to light them up in a huge bonfire so that nobody can read them.

Gallant treats the disabled with respect.

edited 21st Jul '10 5:40:44 PM by CrowT.Robot

Formerly known as Crow T. Robot.
Jul 21st 2010 at 5:40:56 PM

Goofus beats up Stephen Hawking.

Gallant treats his girlfriend to a dinner and a movie every Friday.

Tropers Watching Movies

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