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Goofus only makes penis monsters in Spore.
Gallant catches a record-breaking fish and wins the fishing competition.
Goofus catches nothing but old boots and wins nothing but a bill from the sewage company.
Gallant parkours at his own risk.
Goofus does parkour at OTHERS risk.
Gallant ensures that his sentences are properly spelled, and punctuated.
goofus's writin cn barly b understod as englsih.
Gallant runs his social media website well, getting rid of spammers and trolls.
Goofus blocks everyone except spammers and trolls.
Gallant runs a group of Neighbourhood-Friendly Gangsters
Goofus runs the goddamn mafia.
Gallant suppresses his urge to yell at the barista for spelling his name incorrectly.
Goofus strangles the barista for spelling his name "Doofus."
Gallant bought a new ice cream cone for a kid that dropped theirs.
Edited by DatLonerGirl on Jan 9th 2019 at 5:03:08 AM
Goofus buys the ice cream, but forgets the cone and makes the kid lick it out of his hands.
Gallant carries the team on his back.
Goofus kicks the team off a cliff, ThreeHundred style.
Gallant makes sure his deliveries are on time and go to the correct locations.
Goofus makes deliveries directly to the sewer.
Gallant only drinks socially, and in moderation.
Goofus only cheap crappy vodka in his apartment, the moldering pizza boxes and empty bottles his only company, wishing he could cry but realizing that he feels too weary to do so, hoping that if he can just drink enough he'll be rid of the dull ache in his heart forever.
Gallant heads over to Goofus' apartment to cheer him up.
Goofus once visited Gallant for a party, and ended up damaging the door in a vodka-fueled bender to the point where the latch won't disengage. Goofus then paid off the superintendent to pretend nothing happened, so now the only way in or out of Gallant's apartment is through the bathroom window. Gallant lives on the ninth floor.
Gallant shovels elderly people's driveways when it snows.
Goofus throws water on the elderly's porch steps.
Gallant loves dogs, but has to settle for rats, gerbils, and hamsters since he lives in an apartment that doesn't allow dogs.
Goofus decided to kill the owner out of anger.
Gallant always make sure he's stocked up for a boss fight and levels up.
Goofus is the boss. The first and easiest one.
Gallant is leader of The Kingdom.
Edited by TheBlueHour on Feb 1st 2019 at 5:08:51 AM
Goofus spends his kingdom's entire budget on saw blades.
Gallant obeys the laws of the cosmos.
Goofus breaks every law he can, and creates new ones just to break them.
Gallant is sometimes sarcastic in forum posts, but always makes sure that his sarcasm is obvious, and not to be taken seriously or literally.
Goofus deliberately makes it impossible to tell when he is or isn't being sarcastic.
Gallant doesn't necro threads, no matter how much he likes them.
Goofus necro'd an 8-year dead thread, called "FIND THE NEXT TROPER. IRL."
Gallant, when in the Superbowl, does not punch the opposing team.
But Goofus does!
Gallant is a firefighter.
Gallant is a fire fighter.
He fights for fires.
Gallant does not make terrible political memes.
Goofus is a terrible political meme.
Gallant already has his Valentines Day all planned out.
Edited by atimnie on Feb 4th 2019 at 2:41:02 PM
Goofus's Valentines day is to stalk that hot girl he knows he has no chance with.
Gallant understands good web design.
Goofus still believes Ain't It Cool News is the pinnacle of website design.
Gallant is careful not to provoke the mob.
Goofus intentionally provokes every mob he meets.
Gallant makes good puzzles when designing dungeons.
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