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Goofus manages to fuck up cereal.
Gallant doesn't use foul language, he doesn't even like saying the words, foul language.
Goofus' entire vocabulary consists of swearwords
Gallant helps old ladies cross the street
Goofus helps old ladies into his windowless van.
Gallant the piggie builds his house out of brick.
Goofus builds his out of straws. Drinking straws.
Gallant considers who's receiving his gift when Christmas shopping.
Goofus only has one person on his Christmas shopping list: Goofus.
Gallant, as your senpai, always notices you.
Goofus-Chan will kill you if you so much as turn towards another girl.
Gallant Claus is friendly to children and always delivers his presents on time.
The Krampgoofus eats the children's presents right in front of them.
Gallant survived DEEP HURTING.
A movie being slightly worse then average gave Goofus a fatal heart attack.
Gallant's blog is gaining a steady readership.
Goofus's blog loses readership rapidly due to the constant controversial content he posts.
Gallant nursed an injured bird back to health.
Goofus was the one who broke both of the bird's wings.
Gallant turns the lights off when he's not in a room.
Goofus does the same, when other people are in the room.
Gallant may have problems with his job, but he still shows up on time and does his job well.
Edited by randomtroper89 on Dec 20th 2018 at 11:57:21 AM
Goofus has missed every day of work so far. He claims that he's "observing National Spider Monkey Year", but we all know that that's not true.
Gallant is a Gentleman Thief who never leaves any evidence.
Goofus and his partner are Stupid Crooks who dress in Blatant Burglar gear and leave their ungloved fingerprints on everything they touch.
Gallant waits at least a week before posting spoilers for an episode of his favorite show.
Goofus post spoilers for a show that just came out that day in the comment section of a completely different show with nothing more than the word "spoiler" immediately before as a warning. Me, salty? No...
Gallant post well-balanced critique and commentary on his favorite show, not getting distracted by Single-Issue Wonk and neither demonizing nor glorifying it.
Goofus goes on 10 page rants about why his show sucks for not making his ship canon.
Gallant treats his kids well.
Goofus the ten time winner of the most abusive parent award.
Gallant the news anchor is fair and balanced, always giving his political rivals a fair chance, and willing to talk negative about people on his side.
Goofus the news anchor is heavily biased, calling political rivals racial slurs and other insults, and refuses to say anything negative about his own side.
Gallant does not feed the animals at the zoo.
Goofus feeds animals at zoo... to other animals.
Gallant always offers his dinner guests take home plates.
Goofus killed a person for taking a milliliter of water from the kitchen sink.
Gallant does not vandalize articles.
Goofus deletes the entire Atlantic Records article and replaces it with "YOU SUCK!"
Gallant gently pets the rabbit.
Goofus, er, pets the rabbit and is now doing jail time.
Although Gallant enjoys drinking, he volunteers to be the Designated Driver at the New Year's Eve party because it's more important to him that his friends get home safely.
Goofus also volunteers to be the designated driver, even tho his blood alcohol is five times over the legal limit.
Gallant never fires a gun into the air on New Years Eve, instead opting for confetti poppers.
Goofus volunteered to be the designated driver for his friends on New Year's too. Then he drank like a fish and still insisted on driving. Good thing he was too drunk to turn the car on, or even open it.
Goofus fires into the air with a machine gun. Thankfully, he is the only one killed by the falling bullets.
Gallant kisses his girlfriend when it hits midnight.
Edited by DatLonerGirl on Dec 31st 2018 at 11:41:02 AM
Goofus kicks his girlfriend when it hits midnight.
Gallant clips coupons to save on groceries, but doesn't go overboard with it.
Goofus just robs the grocery store.
Gallant never made any penis monsters in Spore.
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