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Gallant and Goofus

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atimnie The Video Guy from Chicago Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
The Video Guy
Dec 15th 2018 at 10:46:45 PM

Goofus manages to fuck up cereal.

Gallant doesn't use foul language, he doesn't even like saying the words, foul language.

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking, and racing around to come up behind you again
dutchguy1986 from Somewhere in the universe. Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Dec 16th 2018 at 5:11:06 AM

Goofus' entire vocabulary consists of swearwords

Gallant helps old ladies cross the street

DatLonerGirl smol broccoli from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
smol broccoli
Dec 16th 2018 at 6:12:29 AM

Goofus helps old ladies into his windowless van.

Gallant the piggie builds his house out of brick.

Writer, or something.
TroperNo9001 Frog Princess(-to-be) from New Orleans Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
Frog Princess(-to-be)
Dec 16th 2018 at 7:28:16 AM

Goofus builds his out of straws. Drinking straws.

Gallant considers who's receiving his gift when Christmas shopping.

"I've worked hard for everything I've got, and that's the way it's supposed to be!"
WillyFourEyes Skull Kid from some Netherworld Relationship Status: In another castle
Skull Kid
Dec 16th 2018 at 8:27:56 AM

Goofus only has one person on his Christmas shopping list: Goofus.

Gallant, as your senpai, always notices you.

"I'll be honest with you...we're just throwing science at a wall here to see what sticks."
TalesofUnder Angry Werecat from Tandy Gardens Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Angry Werecat
Dec 16th 2018 at 8:36:43 AM

Goofus-Chan will kill you if you so much as turn towards another girl.

Gallant Claus is friendly to children and always delivers his presents on time.

Who invited the angry catgirl into my avatar gallery? .......It was me.
WillyFourEyes Skull Kid from some Netherworld Relationship Status: In another castle
Skull Kid
Dec 16th 2018 at 9:00:22 AM

The Krampgoofus eats the children's presents right in front of them.

Gallant survived DEEP HURTING.

"I'll be honest with you...we're just throwing science at a wall here to see what sticks."
randomtroper89 I am the Phoenix King from The Fire Nation
I am the Phoenix King
Dec 17th 2018 at 12:39:49 AM

A movie being slightly worse then average gave Goofus a fatal heart attack.

Gallant's blog is gaining a steady readership.

Some_Person He'll take the case! from Land of Maple Syrup and Hockey Relationship Status: Chocolate!
He'll take the case!
Dec 20th 2018 at 5:32:27 PM

Goofus's blog loses readership rapidly due to the constant controversial content he posts.

Gallant nursed an injured bird back to health.

Word's second most famous attorney with a bird-related name.
WillyFourEyes Skull Kid from some Netherworld Relationship Status: In another castle
Skull Kid
Dec 20th 2018 at 6:43:53 PM

Goofus was the one who broke both of the bird's wings.

Gallant turns the lights off when he's not in a room.

"I'll be honest with you...we're just throwing science at a wall here to see what sticks."
randomtroper89 I am the Phoenix King from The Fire Nation
I am the Phoenix King
Dec 20th 2018 at 9:57:14 PM

Goofus does the same, when other people are in the room.

Gallant may have problems with his job, but he still shows up on time and does his job well.

Edited by randomtroper89 on Dec 20th 2018 at 11:57:21 AM

TalesofUnder Angry Werecat from Tandy Gardens Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Angry Werecat
Dec 20th 2018 at 10:01:00 PM

Goofus has missed every day of work so far. He claims that he's "observing National Spider Monkey Year", but we all know that that's not true.

Gallant is a Gentleman Thief who never leaves any evidence.

Who invited the angry catgirl into my avatar gallery? .......It was me.
WillyFourEyes Skull Kid from some Netherworld Relationship Status: In another castle
Skull Kid
Dec 21st 2018 at 3:56:41 PM

Goofus and his partner are Stupid Crooks who dress in Blatant Burglar gear and leave their ungloved fingerprints on everything they touch.

Gallant waits at least a week before posting spoilers for an episode of his favorite show.

"I'll be honest with you...we're just throwing science at a wall here to see what sticks."
DatLonerGirl smol broccoli from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
smol broccoli
Dec 21st 2018 at 4:04:34 PM

Goofus post spoilers for a show that just came out that day in the comment section of a completely different show with nothing more than the word "spoiler" immediately before as a warning. Me, salty? No...

Gallant post well-balanced critique and commentary on his favorite show, not getting distracted by Single-Issue Wonk and neither demonizing nor glorifying it.

Writer, or something.
CyberController Cute goth girl Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
Cute goth girl
Dec 21st 2018 at 5:34:46 PM

Goofus goes on 10 page rants about why his show sucks for not making his ship canon.

Gallant treats his kids well.

Even if we're dead, we'll make our dreams come true...
Superjohn Sliver Fang from Illinois Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Sliver Fang
Dec 24th 2018 at 6:41:53 PM

Goofus the ten time winner of the most abusive parent award.

Gallant the news anchor is fair and balanced, always giving his political rivals a fair chance, and willing to talk negative about people on his side.

"You... STUPID DISCIPLE! You took your strength on the wrong path."
CustardAndPie Fuck dis I'mma move-it move-it outta here from 'Scansin, don'cha knoow? Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
Fuck dis I'mma move-it move-it outta here
Dec 24th 2018 at 6:45:25 PM

Goofus the news anchor is heavily biased, calling political rivals racial slurs and other insults, and refuses to say anything negative about his own side.

Gallant does not feed the animals at the zoo.

Roses are red Violets are blue Unregistered Hypercam 2
atimnie The Video Guy from Chicago Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
The Video Guy
Dec 25th 2018 at 1:19:02 PM

Goofus feeds animals at zoo... to other animals.

Gallant always offers his dinner guests take home plates.

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking, and racing around to come up behind you again
Playing_with_boy Not evil. from pg. 666 Relationship Status: Squeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Not evil.
Dec 25th 2018 at 1:56:02 PM

Goofus killed a person for taking a milliliter of water from the kitchen sink.

Gallant does not vandalize articles.

   Totally not suitable for the tweens and kiddos.   
CustardAndPie Fuck dis I'mma move-it move-it outta here from 'Scansin, don'cha knoow? Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
Fuck dis I'mma move-it move-it outta here
Dec 25th 2018 at 2:00:31 PM

Goofus deletes the entire Atlantic Records article and replaces it with "YOU SUCK!"

Gallant gently pets the rabbit.

Roses are red Violets are blue Unregistered Hypercam 2
Dec 31st 2018 at 8:50:39 AM

Goofus, er, pets the rabbit and is now doing jail time.

Although Gallant enjoys drinking, he volunteers to be the Designated Driver at the New Year's Eve party because it's more important to him that his friends get home safely.

atimnie The Video Guy from Chicago Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
The Video Guy
Dec 31st 2018 at 9:37:33 AM

Goofus also volunteers to be the designated driver, even tho his blood alcohol is five times over the legal limit.

Gallant never fires a gun into the air on New Years Eve, instead opting for confetti poppers.

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking, and racing around to come up behind you again
DatLonerGirl smol broccoli from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
smol broccoli
Dec 31st 2018 at 9:39:33 AM

[up][up]Goofus volunteered to be the designated driver for his friends on New Year's too. Then he drank like a fish and still insisted on driving. Good thing he was too drunk to turn the car on, or even open it.

[up]Goofus fires into the air with a machine gun. Thankfully, he is the only one killed by the falling bullets.

Gallant kisses his girlfriend when it hits midnight.

Edited by DatLonerGirl on Dec 31st 2018 at 11:41:02 AM

Writer, or something.
WillyFourEyes Skull Kid from some Netherworld Relationship Status: In another castle
Skull Kid
Dec 31st 2018 at 10:17:50 AM

Goofus kicks his girlfriend when it hits midnight.

Gallant clips coupons to save on groceries, but doesn't go overboard with it.

"I'll be honest with you...we're just throwing science at a wall here to see what sticks."
Jaxfirebus Going to die from On the bus Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Going to die
Jan 9th 2019 at 3:15:05 AM

Goofus just robs the grocery store.

Gallant never made any penis monsters in Spore.

Crap... why'd i let HIM drive?!

Total posts: 4,871
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