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Homestuck: The RP

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Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#601: Oct 7th 2010 at 7:46:59 PM

>Jane: Confide in Radon.

Both of you remember more then you've let on to other people. They aren't pleasant memories.

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
Bocaj Funny but not helpful from Here or thereabouts (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Funny but not helpful
#602: Oct 7th 2010 at 8:17:19 PM

>James: This is a sneaking mission

Oh, man. You are one sneaky little ninja. There is no way anyone can see through your layer of ruses.

Except Jane. You will have to find out how she discovered your stealthy hiding place.

It seems she has gaps in her memories from when she was meddling with forces beyond human comprehension. She asks you to help fill them in. You try but she starts getting agitated and decides she doesn't actually want to talk about it. God, whatever.

You confirm that she doesn't actually want to go talk to gibbering bat creatures and then set off to check on Wayne.

Forever liveblogging the Avengers
ChrisisCraziest Indomitable from Bountiful, Utah Since: Feb, 2010
Indomitable
#603: Oct 8th 2010 at 2:00:03 AM

> Wayne: Be Zediamatsprite

You are totally Zediamatsprite now. You're just minding your own business, running your claw/hands through your piles and piles of vast wealth, when some upstart girl comes up to you. And steals a priceless mermaid statuette! The audacity! She makes up for it by engaging in business, however. After a mutually beneficial exchange of goods, you send her away.

Little does she know that you gave her a bag of normal sand. It'll teach her a lesson about humility and respecting her superiors.

> Be Wayne Again, the Sprite is a Dick

I'll say. Guy really lays it on thick, huh?

Anyway, you've been busy alchemizing. Apparently eldritch stuff makes you possessed or something, so James had you throw out your mace, and you're suddenly knocked down a peg or two power wise. You opt to diversify and switch to throwing cards. The mace just gets stale after a while, you know? And playing cards have this certain element of pizazz that you just can't match with medieval style weaponry. The only hitch is your total inability to actually throw them.

Anyway, you combine a broken rifle scope with some gum, the scope ends up in mint condition (GET IT?), you combine it with some cards and get... a scope patterned with diamonds and hearts and such. Then you combine it the other way and get ACCURATE PLAYING CARDS, because coming up with clever names is tricky. Now your utter lack of skill doesn't matter!

You mess around a little, and then have a simply fabulous idea. TAROT CARDS. You poke around, and it turns out your father had a few dozen decks. Zediamat is a dick, you pay a kings ransom, and you end up with a few. They don't do anything special by themselves, of course, but you happen to have magic tomes. Which make them manifest all these crazy tarot effects. You got death cards and healing cards and binding cards and all sorts of outrageous shit.

In the end, you make a few decks of straight up magic tarot cards, for the friendly effects like strength or healing or what have you. They're a little lightningy because that's the only tome you can use now but whatcha gonna do. You make a few other decks of knife magic tarot cards. They pretty much fly goddamn fast and slice shit to ribbons and do magic tarot stuff and also lightning. It'll seriously be goddamn bedlam when you break these things out. You make a few thousand so you don't run out, shuffle up your first deck, draw your first card, and throw it at an errant imp. He disappears!

You go and pry the card out of the glass. Turns out you got The Hermit? Which means... solitude. Huh. Guess the imp got sent to time out or somethin'.

Also incidentally you made these hella sweet insulated gloves because lightning cards kinda sting when you hold them. They're warm and they match your outfit and they're pretty much incredibly awesome.

After all this nonsense James wanders over and asks if you wanna go on some sidequests. You say yeah and it's great but it'll have to wait for another post ok.

edited 8th Oct '10 2:04:04 AM by ChrisisCraziest

Do or do not, there is no try.
Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#604: Oct 8th 2010 at 10:17:15 AM

>Jane: Sleep.

You sprinkle a pinch of magic sand on your head, and wait.

And wait.

Aaaaaand wait. Fuck.

>Flip the fuck out.

No. You won't. You've decided that you absolutely REFUSE to lose your temper so easily.

>Cry.

Not that, either. But you really, really want to get to sleep.

>Go to sleep naturally.

You snuggle into your sleeping bag and lie there for about an hour before giving up.

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
Ezekiel Since: Jan, 2001
#605: Oct 8th 2010 at 11:25:50 AM

>Sarati: Discuss the mating habits of trolls with Ron.

Show Pesterlog

You have that conversation, and then you go get ready. You gather up the things Adrian and Ron have asked you to get for them. Then you get into one of the fighters and take off, fleet in tow. By linking them all up to the same control unit, you're able to fly in perfect formation back to Wayne's.

Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest Since: Apr, 2009
#606: Oct 8th 2010 at 7:44:54 PM

>Vanessa: Talk to Jane.

You wake up from your long, long, long, long nap to have a conversation.

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
ChrisisCraziest Indomitable from Bountiful, Utah Since: Feb, 2010
Indomitable
#607: Oct 9th 2010 at 2:23:58 AM

> Wayne: Get pestered by Jane

She's got some complaints about your sprite. He overcharged you for some useless shit? We all been there. It's practically an initiation. Also she can't sleep so Friend Imp works his shadow puppet magic and puts her to sleep. Never mind the total illogic of making shadow puppets in a land without light.

> Sidequests

You depart on your sidequesting adventures with James and Friend Imp. Your first stop is the mysterious mountain with the glowing red crystal on top. The one you neglected to hit up last time on account of getting lost.

Turns out it's just another firestone, though. Apparently they come in yellow AND red. Who knew? Certainly not you. There's only a single ogre guarding it too. You kinda skipped the whole harrowing mountain path ascend deal the game had set up. Friend Imp humbly requests that he be allowed to duel said ogre to the death. You hit him with some tarot buffs, Magician and Strength and Sun and such, and send him on in. It is a battle for the ages, wee flaming dagger versus meaty ogre fists, Friend Imp's brains against Nameless Ogre's brawn. Friend Imp totally annihilates him, though. You like to think it was the buffs, but really, Friend Imp is just a badass.

You fly on down to the local bat village, barge on in to chief bat's office, and present the firestone. Oops, looks like it broke in transit. Oh well, right? Not so much for the bat king. He has this weird emotional breakdown and retreats to his room. You claim your just quest reward, then head after him, but not even Friend Imp or a classic get-a-hold-of-yourself slap work. They... they make him pass out, actually. It's pretty ridiculous.

Luckily, bat chancellor comes in, gives you a map and quest, and leaves. You can tell that he's the one who's actually in charge. Puts ol bat mayor here to shame.

The map he gave you is useless though so you just fly off in a random direction. End up entering a big cluster of spires. It is incredibly dangerous and incredibly fun, just flying around in them, trying not to crash and die horribly, popping around edges and surprising each other. You and Friend Imp even fly some formations. Eventually you alight in a bat village, which is abandoned, save for one wounded, elderly bat. He implores you to leave, before it's too late, and then ominous flickering silhouettes and chitterings starts. Looks like you just stumbled into a cutscene. You've always wondered what it was like to be in one instead of just watching.

It's pretty cool, honestly. You form up into the rare three man back-to-back-badass stance, James says some cold blooded one liners, and then the fight begins. It's a bunch of imps! PRETTY EXCITING.

It turns out to be a bunch of different waves of monsters though. You gotta say, this game can get pretty derivative sometimes. You throw cards, James smashes face with his various guitar variants, and Friend Imp is just fucking badass. Seriously, he kills like, every lich. It's awesome. Eventually you get a wave of giclops everywhere, including falling from the sky, and that's just a little much, you know? So you opt to ascend to the top of spire. It's more dramatic this way anyway. Dodging around falling giclops, resolute in the face of overwhelming odds. It's practically another cutscene.

When you land on top, you are faced with the largest and no doubt mightiest monster you've yet seen. It's covered in spikes and blades and like 100 feet tall or thereabouts and has six arms and it's basically gonna be a gigantic pain in the ass to fight. It's also the monster bat magistrate sent you out to kill probably, so score one for team Centaur Rodeo. You start up some epic music, distribute buffs, and start fighting. It's pretty awesome but also covered next time so scram.

Do or do not, there is no try.
MisterAlways Go away. from The Netherlands. Since: Jan, 2001
Go away.
#608: Oct 13th 2010 at 4:27:30 PM

>Ron: Toke. Hold in lungs for three seconds. Pass to the left hand side.

Aww yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

That is good medicine.

>Recieve odd message. Then, Jane.

Both of these things!

Always touching and looking. Piss off.
Teebert kingslayer from boxcar's noggin Since: Sep, 2009
kingslayer
#609: Oct 13th 2010 at 6:38:19 PM

>Radon: sleep

You try and sleep, but its hard when you get a mix of dreamself shenanigans and normal sleep. And the two switch irregularly. Rather annoying.

>Be woken up by Jane

She's distressed. And so is Ron. Man, quite a mess shaping up.

"Teebs is a total grump, but he's usually right." - NLK
Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#610: Oct 13th 2010 at 6:39:51 PM

>Jane: Toss barf bag.

You run into Adrian as you do so.

>Get hair cut, dyed.

Fuck yeah, purple.

edited 13th Oct '10 7:02:05 PM by Katrika

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
MisterAlways Go away. from The Netherlands. Since: Jan, 2001
Go away.
#611: Oct 13th 2010 at 7:21:13 PM

>Ron: Finish hour-long bathroom break.

Hey, that's private.

Hey look it's Jaaaaane

Always touching and looking. Piss off.
Ajbcool The Omnibot from Here, obviously. Since: Sep, 2009
The Omnibot
#612: Oct 13th 2010 at 7:33:10 PM

> Yuzuki: Have stupid chat with Ron

It's so dumb you delete it right away. You don't really want to know what he's doing to your sister. It just makes you sick.

> Have mysterious stranger contact you.

FINALLY. Someone who understands and will listen to you. Someone who will help you show the people you used to call friends who's right and who's wrong.

Someone to help you be the winner you always knew you were.

> Get Pestered by Jane

SUre enough someone starts to pester you. But did it have to be her? Why does she make it so hard? WHY?!?

You are sure there's probably nothing in this game that will help you in this situation.

But what about outside the game?

edited 13th Oct '10 7:55:02 PM by Ajbcool

Digimon Digital Liveblog by Myself! Yay!
Bocaj Funny but not helpful from Here or thereabouts (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Funny but not helpful
#613: Oct 13th 2010 at 9:46:26 PM

>James: Boss battle. Make it hapen.

Welllllll, its tough going. You think this guy is way above your level. Wayne's buffs from his alchemized tarot deck really come in handy because the guy starts summoning other monsters to fight you. Makes sense; it was apparently causing the waves that you fought in the village. In the end, the distraction you cause by dealing and getting dealt a vicious drubbing, Wayne's timely fan dance and literal storm of cards, and Friend Imp's nimble thiefy fingers come through to let you retrieve the firestone from the beast's jeweled codpiece.

The beast itself is taken out with a clever application of buckets of grease, the expenditure of all three of your jetkites applied directly to the forehead, and that harsh mistress gravity. If Sburb monsters were flesh and blood, it would be a messy scene that greeted the three of you when you came down squeezed onto two flying scooters. But since Sburb monsters are made of grist, its actually a really cool scene.

>James, Wayne, Friend Imp: Do a victory dance on the grave of that boss-like enemy

Done.

>Return to Wayne's house pile of rubble.

Not so fast bucko. This firestone is exactly what you probably need to cheer up that blubbering goddamn bat king. And it does cheer him up... you guess. He chitters like mad, kisses the stone and starts doing some kind of weird excited flailing. Whatever. You retrieve the quest rewards from the Bat Viceroy or chancellor or whatever as well as some more quest rewards from the Bat king's desk. Yay, more weird glowy macguffins for Wayne.

You immediately head for the return node. Well, not immediately. You make a detour when you see a fairly large bat village. One things leads to another and...

>James: Crash dirigible through return node

You manage to avoid hitting the bell tower but you think you ran over an ogre.

>TEAM MEETING

You have the sudden urge for the team to have an official team song. Maybe a line in it about riding a flaming (lead?) dirigible through the gates of hell and crashing into Satan's clavicle.

Of course, team meetings never go according to the itinerary that you never actually wrote down or planned. Jane gets oddly fixated on school buses and there are several attempts at topic derails. Ron really wants to talk about his family issues and Jane wants to talk about Yuzuki, you guess. But absolutely nothing will dissuade you from your topic.

Oh, hey. Its Vanessa. YOU CLAIM HER FOR TEAM EAGLE'S WHATEVER. Team Knifedeepthroater just doesn't stand a chance against your awesome recruiting ability. Wait, what did you call this meeting for?

Oh, well. You have a better topic idea anyway. You subtly inform your team that they are a bunch of lazy asses, just waiting for the trolls to come and save their butts. While you're sure that the trolls' plan is pretty adequate, you plan to make the literally impossible possible and kick reason to the curb to save Earth somehow! Attempting something that both your Exile and your Sprite have told you is stupid and impossible is the Dai-Eagle's Talon way!

Your minions are all too scared and/or lazy to want to eventually fight the denizens. Its really disappointing how apprehensive they are of giant doom monsters.

Oh, hang on. Yuzuki is messaging you. Wayne, take over.

Yuzuki apparently has some kind of axe to grind and wants to challenge you to a contest of being awesome. Oh no, he didn't. He cannot hope to beat Eagle's Talon in an awesome off. Its simply the best there is.

You're not sure what happened in the meeting while you were talking to Yuzuki but you're sure Wayne kept order.

edited 13th Oct '10 10:02:14 PM by Bocaj

Forever liveblogging the Avengers
Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#614: Oct 15th 2010 at 6:54:24 PM

>Jane: Chill with James.

You do, and a bat shits on you. Bummer.

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
lightdarkhero250 Quad Optometrist from Somewhere Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
#615: Oct 15th 2010 at 7:12:49 PM

>Be the kid underwater.

You are now the kid underwater, wearing his new FIBER-OPTIC GOGGLES and HOLO-OXYGEN MASK. How does it work, you ask? he's not telling.

>Venture down into the depths.

Your HYPER ANTI-GRAV JET SHOES boost you through the water. Wait, what is that you ask about? Water pressure? What is that? I'll tell you.

Jack shit.

>Be encountered by LARGE SQUID-LIKE MONSTER.

What? Are you supposed to be afraid of it or something? You've experienced too many things to care. It isn't even the DENIZEN, so you might as well just get moving...

Except, you can't...because...

You must have that eye.

>STRIFE

edited 15th Oct '10 7:13:59 PM by lightdarkhero250

I'm a ghost, you didn't see me.
Ezekiel Since: Jan, 2001
#616: Oct 15th 2010 at 8:02:21 PM

>Adrian: Receive a message.

Show Pesterlog

Uh-oh.

How did you not notice this? Well, whatever the case, you've got to hurry and see about it.

Bocaj Funny but not helpful from Here or thereabouts (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Funny but not helpful
#617: Oct 15th 2010 at 8:18:11 PM

>James: Chill

You are basically the world's Avis in terms of chilling. You have honed the craft during your stay in the Medium. Wayne said that nobody raised any valid objections to eventually fighting the Denizens during that earlier meeting so that is the long-term goal. Currently, you are strategizing and/or watching the stars. Wayne's world is quite relaxing in certain aspects.

>Talk to Jane

You have a nice chat wherein you once again slightly skirt the truth in order to share something you heard somewhere or made up and then forgot where it came from. Also, just as Jane is getting over her bat phobia, one of the little ones that stowed away on the dirigible steals her soda and craps on her. The absence of a shower in the pile of rubble disappoints Jane. She eventually wanders off and is out of sight when the plant troll messages you. Hm... you know you've never seen Jasmet and Jane in the same place at the same time. Or Whitney and Jane for that matter.

>Answer troll

She wants to warn you about something stupid Bill is doing. But then the sight of Radon getting sick into one of the buckets that Wayne's dad obsessively hoarded sends her into frenzied tizzies of hysteria.

She apparently thought he was engaged in dumbly onanistic behavior. You kindly direct her to a website that demonstrates that human masturbation does not generally involve buckets. You are a nice guy. Or an asshole. Its sort of unclear.

Sadly, Jasmet stops trolling you before you can ask her to spy on Yuzuki for you. You're sure it won't be an issue, really.

edited 15th Oct '10 8:18:43 PM by Bocaj

Forever liveblogging the Avengers
Teebert kingslayer from boxcar's noggin Since: Sep, 2009
kingslayer
#618: Oct 15th 2010 at 9:46:03 PM

>Radon: be ill.

It seems you have contracted the ELDRITCH STOMACH FLU. You thus have a terrible headache and you are currently puking your guts out.

While you're busy puking, Adrian comes to check on you.

"Teebs is a total grump, but he's usually right." - NLK
Ezekiel Since: Jan, 2001
#619: Oct 15th 2010 at 10:20:30 PM

>Adrian: Check on that Jane.

Show Janelog

Yeah, they're both doing badly. You just hope it really is only temporary backlash.

Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#620: Oct 16th 2010 at 10:31:05 AM

>Jane: Be sick.

Goddammit you are so fucking sick. James comes to chek on you. You discuss troll reproduction.

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
MisterAlways Go away. from The Netherlands. Since: Jan, 2001
Go away.
#621: Oct 16th 2010 at 3:46:25 PM

>Ron: Get contacted by alien once more.

She tells you a bunch of shit you do not want to know. You block her.

>Rage.

You punch a few heaps of errant rubble. A few buckets fly around.

Always touching and looking. Piss off.
Katrika Since: Jul, 2009
#622: Oct 16th 2010 at 4:32:21 PM

>Jane: Chill with Ron.

Nice. You get the chills. Also he crossdresses to cheer you up.

"You fail to grasp the basic principles of mad science. Common sense would be cheating." - Narbonic
Ajbcool The Omnibot from Here, obviously. Since: Sep, 2009
The Omnibot
#623: Oct 16th 2010 at 4:43:04 PM

Yuzuki: Chat with Jane

She's onto your new friend. You're more inclined to be on his side, since he's shared your plights. That kind of bond transcends all, even crushes.

Digimon Digital Liveblog by Myself! Yay!
MisterAlways Go away. from The Netherlands. Since: Jan, 2001
Go away.
#624: Oct 16th 2010 at 4:48:55 PM

>Ron: Be contacted by yet another alien.

This one's kinda nice. And sort of weird.

Always touching and looking. Piss off.
Teebert kingslayer from boxcar's noggin Since: Sep, 2009
kingslayer
#625: Oct 16th 2010 at 5:03:37 PM

>Radon: be sicker than a dog.

Pretty easy to do that. You just exist as you are.

>See Ron do something freaky.

Oh god, what the hell is he doing?

"Teebs is a total grump, but he's usually right." - NLK

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