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Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my petsYou just ain't per-fect, fo' shure
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." Rating 73.53% liked this joke Rate This Joke Funny Not Funny
the family walk on stage, in the centre is something under a black drape. the drape is removed and a steel box is shown. the mother lays in front of it in labour position. a thumb makes its way out of the mothers ass. vainy and desperate for air pops out the grandmother and straight into the box she goes. the brother and sister stand on the edge whistling the theme to starwars, or rather moaning it. 50 midgits are attracted to the stage rushing straight to the box. they push the hardly ventelated coffin over still with the granmother in. they then start to cum inside the box, they do this so fast and intensly, vains pop and semen turns into blood drowning the grandmother. the midgits sperm volume causes the coffin to swell up and explode.
a confessions chair is set up on stage with the spotlight focusing on it. the dad then does the drum roll with spike headed dildos on his bald head as his father (the granddad) comes on the stage in an eggshell, dressed as a showgirl. he is placed on the confessions chair. he starts to sob and finger his ass. he then confesses to not being surcumsised. they all laugh and say "its ok, non of us have" including the little girl. he then screams in pleasure, "but my confession is that i want it" so the father rushes to grab his 3yr old daughter giving her the bluntest needle he could find, blind folds her and sends her stabbing. grandads balls get peirced, this gives him a stiffy, which raises his penis out of harms way, a yellow substance oozed as it was collected and drank by the mother. meanwhile the son and the dog where in 69 position eating eachother.
the father then removed his pants to reveal a 12 foot penis, the son starts to finger his mothers vagina sliding his fist up her, and grabbing the feotus. the father meanwhile catches his penis on a loose nail ripping it in half spraying blood all over the agent. the father grbs the foetus and jams it on his massacred penis. he starts to fuck his daughter with his feotus-cock. he then throws the family in the spike pit and has a shit on them. he feeds the dog a grenade and throws it in aswell.
he slides to the edge of the stage on his knees and does "jazz hands"
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
Underneath the bridge The tarp has sprung a leak And the animals I've trapped have all become my petsA Very Phestive Pheasant
(by the way, that's s(qu)ick...)
9018
~Ion496. Need I say more?_FlBeQPOSdE
You can not go to Utah again after you have eaten Utah and have not eaten.Wack-a-Mole-no-Jutsu
Insert witty one-liner here.If we do have a sixth sense for sniffing out hidden porn with an extra 3% accuracy how would that effect anything ever?
[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/CA_the_fairy_9844.png
edited 11th Jan '11 11:16:58 PM by CentralAvenue
Heapers’ Hangoutcassowary
And "Reality" is unveiled. What did it want...? What did it see...? What did it hear...? What did it think...? What did it do...?
cassowary
tre i was like yo tre do you think you could buy me a bottle of rosé?
oh, that's why I need this binary mind // ⌘So apparently the Tequila Monster is a seven-foot tall purple weasel with blue spots and a sombrero.
Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...Disappear Like the Morning...
Lunatic Moon Rabbit
Psycho Donuts