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Dumb things you used to believe as a kid

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DrNoPuma Streaky from the land of Humorous Hyenas (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: Married to the music
#3376: Jan 2nd 2023 at 6:58:48 AM

In the song "God Bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood, I had a slight Mondegreen where I heard "And I won't forget the men who died" as "And I won't forget the man who died." This caused kid!me to believe that there was one particular soldier who fought in one of our country's wars who was somehow more important than all the others.

I also thought that the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Washington DC literally contained only one soldier, and that he was the "man" in the song.

Very good kitty
Bootlebat Since: Dec, 2012
#3377: Jan 3rd 2023 at 5:51:32 AM

I thought if food was "fat-free" it meant you could eat as of it much as you want without getting fat.

Edited by Bootlebat on Jan 3rd 2023 at 5:51:42 AM

Demetrios Lucky Seven from Des Plaines, Illinois (unfortunately) Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
Lucky Seven
#3378: Jan 5th 2023 at 10:43:49 AM

I just remembered this one.

For a while when I was a kid, for some reason I thought that Evil Is Sexy and Sensible Heroes, Skimpy Villains were exclusive to anime.

Come on! Let's bless them all until we get fershnickered!
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#3379: Jan 5th 2023 at 10:55:22 AM

I used to think that gunpowder was made of crushed guns.

Currently Reading: N/A
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#3380: Jan 6th 2023 at 11:52:35 AM

Additionally, for some reason, I use to think that Chicago was located in Michigan. Maybe because they both contain the syllable "chi"?

Currently Reading: N/A
Ian07 Since: Jul, 2022
#3381: Jan 6th 2023 at 4:56:44 PM

[up] Ditto, but my brain decided on Colorado instead, probably for a similar reason. It then shifted to another state, though I can't remember which one, before finally settling on the correct answer, which is, as we all know, Zimbabwe.

Edited by Ian07 on Jan 6th 2023 at 7:58:35 AM

StewieGriffin34 from Sea ice (Season 2) Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
#3382: Jan 6th 2023 at 5:05:57 PM

When I was little, I thought Chicago was in New York.

He/they | Mostly here on my free days
AmourLeFou You'll never find out who I am from Colorado Since: Apr, 2021 Relationship Status: One Is The Loneliest Number
You'll never find out who I am
#3383: Jan 6th 2023 at 6:40:31 PM

[up][up][up] Same.

Check out my forum game: Rate the above YMMV.
punkcrow The horrors persist, but so do I (He/Him) from Northwest Indiana Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: I made a point to burn all of the photographs
The horrors persist, but so do I (He/Him)
#3384: Jan 6th 2023 at 7:06:29 PM

I remember thinking that "Barenaked Ladies" was a really scandalous name for a band, and went quite some time taking the band's name at face value. Then I learned that all of the members are male and are appropriately-dressed (though apparently, they did record one song an album naked for a period of time). Anyway, they're one of my favorite bands now.

Also, I finally realized a day before my 18th birthday that in the Christmas song "Santa Baby", she's asking for checks, not the cereal Chex. To be fair, it's a Christmas song I can hardly stand.

And two from my parents:

My mom thought that cartoons were live-action, but someone put a filter over the camera to make them look like drawings. I asked what she thought when obviously unrealistic stuff (e.g. Funny Animal characters) happened in cartoons, and she didn't know.

My dad also claimed that when he was a kid and had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, he'd cover his ears after flushing the toilet. He thought that somehow that'd prevent his parents from hearing.

Cold turkey's getting stale. Tonight I'm eating crow.
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#3385: Jan 9th 2023 at 10:46:19 AM

When I was younger, I thought that dodo was made of the long-extinct bird of the same name.

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Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#3386: Jan 11th 2023 at 5:58:08 PM

Another thing: Whenever 1st to 2nd Grade me looked at a map and saw that Greenland had Denmark in parentheses underneath it, I just assumed that "Denmark" was an alternative name for it, not learning the real reason until much later.

Currently Reading: N/A
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#3387: Jan 12th 2023 at 2:21:41 PM

When I was eight, there was a giant spaceship-shaped thing at my local playground. It looked a lot like it was designed for kids to play on, but it had "Don't touch" signs on it, so I thought that meant it was a real spaceship. In my defence, my mother would play along.

For every low there is a high.
ArgoTheBlank from Colony 9 Since: Jun, 2020 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
#3388: Jan 15th 2023 at 2:02:16 PM

I mistook Home Alone 1 for a horror movie because of the screaming Kevin poster.

Edited by ArgoTheBlank on Jan 15th 2023 at 10:03:02 AM

Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#3389: Jan 15th 2023 at 2:21:51 PM

I used to be think that Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja was made by Disney Television Animation. I felt so defeated when I learned the truth.

Currently Reading: N/A
AmourLeFou You'll never find out who I am from Colorado Since: Apr, 2021 Relationship Status: One Is The Loneliest Number
You'll never find out who I am
#3390: Jan 16th 2023 at 9:29:08 AM

[up][up] To be fair, it would be if it weren't for the Amusing Injuries.

Check out my forum game: Rate the above YMMV.
StewieGriffin34 from Sea ice (Season 2) Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
#3391: Jan 16th 2023 at 9:47:04 AM

There were a number of shows I don’t remember seeing when they were on TV, such as Fangbone!. As such, I thought they were either made for or exported straight to Netflix.

He/they | Mostly here on my free days
moefoxes Since: Apr, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
#3392: Jan 17th 2023 at 5:14:15 AM

I saw someone in a cartoon use an eraser to "erase someone's face" and I was scared that someone would erase my face in real life.

Inconsistently active.
Demetrios Lucky Seven from Des Plaines, Illinois (unfortunately) Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
Lucky Seven
#3393: Jan 17th 2023 at 11:16:40 PM

This one was prompted by Cibryll's latest post in the "Things you didn't know until very recently..." thread. When I was a kid, thanks to the computer games I liked to play when I was a kid, I thought that "decimate" was a fancier word for killing one's enemies.

Come on! Let's bless them all until we get fershnickered!
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#3394: Jan 29th 2023 at 11:10:11 AM

A looooooong time ago, I thought that Television was invented before Film. Yeah...

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Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#3395: Jan 31st 2023 at 4:13:29 PM

When we first got our cat, I was worried that if I touched his nipples, milk would spurt out. My mother had to tell me that male cats can't make milk.

For every low there is a high.
StewieGriffin34 from Sea ice (Season 2) Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
#3396: Feb 4th 2023 at 8:48:52 AM

When I was a little kid, I was told the definition of the word “arbitrary,” a word I learned from Calvin and Hobbes.

Thanks to a combination of a bad explanation (I was simply told that “it could mean anything”) and me being Literal-Minded, I took it to mean that I could actually replace any adjective with the word.

This actually once got me in trouble at school when we were making letters for a specific teacher’s birthday. We had to describe them in one adjective, and I couldn’t think of anything since I barely knew them, so I wrote down “arbitrary.”

He/they | Mostly here on my free days
callmeamuffin Just getting into Utena... (he/they) from the kitchen (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Thinkin' about you, muffin
Just getting into Utena... (he/they)
#3397: Feb 9th 2023 at 12:58:15 AM

When I was 6, I used to confuse a room fitted with gambling machines for a kids' arcade.

Thankfully, I did not play those gambling machines.

Working on Sandbox.The Amazing Race TV Tropes Edition.
BlackFaithStar [Hiatus til March] from 🇲🇾 (UTC plus 8) (Less Newbie) Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
[Hiatus til March]
#3398: Feb 9th 2023 at 9:11:18 AM

I used to think all Muslims were right-handed by default because it's strongly recommended to do a lot of things with the right hand (like eating and drinking, for instance). In turn, I thought all non-Muslims were lefties, for some reason.

Finding a left-handed classmate in an Islamic school finally helped me let go of that.

Edited by BlackFaithStar on Feb 10th 2023 at 1:11:41 AM

When you're alone I'm reaching out to let you know that you're far from strangers, like the savior
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#3399: Feb 12th 2023 at 7:22:48 PM

When I was younger and before I got got properly into the show, I made the common mistake of assuming that Avatar: The Last Airbender was a legitimate Anime. You can go ahead and let me drown now.

Currently Reading: N/A
Zanreo Gizmondo from Glitch City (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Gizmondo
#3400: Feb 12th 2023 at 11:32:24 PM

[up][up][up] Reminds me of this random kid from a cruise, pointing towards the casino saying "Dad, let's go to the arcade!" (Dad then tried explaining how this wasn't an arcade and there was nothing fun for kids there)

My favorite failed console tbh

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