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Dumb things you used to believe as a kid

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BackSet1 I <3 Zinnia from I'm sure you'd love to know that, wouldn't you? (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
I <3 Zinnia
#3201: Aug 3rd 2022 at 7:50:37 PM

I'm still not entirely unconvinced there aren't illegal extraterrestrials.

Read Pokemon Ultimate Emerald
Bubblepig Steve from Minecraft (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
#3202: Aug 3rd 2022 at 11:40:52 PM

When I was young, one of my relatives told me if I see nudity or naughty things, I will go blind. I believe it until a few years later.

"CHICKEN JOCKEY!"
DrNoPuma Bud and Lou(ise) from the land of Humorous Hyenas (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: Married to the music
Bud and Lou(ise)
#3203: Aug 4th 2022 at 6:57:49 PM

[up][up]That's kinda sus. tongue

Please make this canon, DC. I love the idea of the Joker and Harley's hyenas acting like them.
GenericGuy2000 I’m here, I guess. from a generic place. Since: Jul, 2021 Relationship Status: Cast away
I’m here, I guess.
#3204: Aug 7th 2022 at 7:19:50 PM

When I was a kid, I thought that “cousin” just meant a really close friend. I believed that at least up until first grade.

I’m gonna put some Gloom in your eye.
ThatAsianInTheCorner the biggest hair of all from the corner. read the username, dummy. (Y2: Electric Boogaloo) Relationship Status: Tweaking my holographic boyfriend
the biggest hair of all
#3205: Aug 7th 2022 at 11:40:16 PM

I don't know if I've posted this before but

When I was a kid, outside of my parents, my sister was the smartest person I knew. She was always praised by our parents for getting high grades from classes such as math and science, probably the only subject she was bad at was P.E/Phys Ed.

Cut to me, young TAITC at Kindergarten, talking to friends about math. One of my friends asks us the impossible question of 100 plus 100. Judging by the fact that 100 was the biggest number we knew at the time, this was an impossible question as we were never told what went after the number 100. And this question stumped everyone involved in our dumb little kid brains.

Then school ended and I had to go home. And when my sister was just lounging around, I had the brilliant idea to ask her about the question. And, since she's 3 years older than me, and already dealing with multiplication, she answered correctly. And for the rest of that year, I treated her like a god.

1 year after this, I learned multiplication and figured out that I was a fucking moron.

"...This is too much information for a brain that just wants to visit Planet Tensuns..."
Bootlebat Since: Dec, 2012
#3206: Aug 8th 2022 at 2:27:02 PM

[up] I have something similar: I thought if you had 100 dollars you were rich

Bootlebat Since: Dec, 2012
#3207: Aug 8th 2022 at 2:28:29 PM

Also, in EverQuest (the first mmo I played) I thought the term "mob" was an acronym for "monster or beast".

MisterToodleoo Since: Jul, 2018 Relationship Status: Waiting for you *wink*
#3208: Aug 8th 2022 at 5:41:26 PM

In my late elementary school days, when my mom listened to "Bad Romance", I would think along the lines of, “Am I allowed to pay attention to this song? I first overheard it on MuchMusic, and my mom told me that a lot of stuff on that channel is inappropriate for my age.”

WarJay77 It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (3,795/50,000) from My Writing Cave (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (3,795/50,000)
#3209: Aug 8th 2022 at 8:58:58 PM

I thought my eye floaters were bubbles, and told my mom I was "looking at the bubbles" once when she asked what I was staring at.

Working on: Author Appeal | Sandbox | Troper Wall
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#3210: Aug 9th 2022 at 3:08:10 PM

That reminds me of when I was five, and whenever I cried, I thought the world really had gone all shiny and blurry, which only made me cry more because I wanted the world to go back to normal and would tell my parents to wipe it away.

For every low there is a high.
AmourLeFou You'll never find out who I am from Colorado Since: Apr, 2021 Relationship Status: One Is The Loneliest Number
You'll never find out who I am
#3211: Aug 9th 2022 at 3:58:16 PM

[up] Wipe what away? The tears?

Check out my forum game: Rate the above YMMV.
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#3212: Aug 10th 2022 at 6:23:08 PM

I don't even know.

For every low there is a high.
StewieGriffin34 from Sea ice (Season 2) Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
#3213: Aug 12th 2022 at 4:41:36 PM

I used to think that the PVC pellets in old Beanie Babies would give me cancer if I touched them.

He/they | Mostly here on my free days
Bootlebat Since: Dec, 2012
#3214: Aug 16th 2022 at 5:09:53 PM

I thought Slipping a Mickey had something to do with Mickey Mouse. I had heard the term in some old movies and cartoons, but didn't really understand what it meant.

Edited by Bootlebat on Aug 16th 2022 at 5:14:29 AM

MikeK Since: Jan, 2001
#3215: Aug 17th 2022 at 4:21:23 PM

When I first heard the phrase "illegal aliens", I thought it meant... well...

the first time I encountered that phrase it was being used as a pun - some book on display in the science fiction section of a bookstore was titled Illegal Aliens, complete with cover art of humanoid aliens hiding behind crates in what looked like a ship's hold. My mom was there and explained as best she could though

Edited by MikeK on Aug 17th 2022 at 4:23:40 AM

Kiobi20 Since: Sep, 2016
#3216: Aug 17th 2022 at 7:39:04 PM

the first time I heard about child pornography I thought it meant pornography for kids... I was a weird kid ok?

Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#3217: Aug 18th 2022 at 2:49:55 PM

  • I had very cartoonish beliefs on why I thought you needed to be Too Smart for Strangers. When I heard the "don't take candy" thing, I didn't think of luring; I thought of poison. And when I heard not to accept gifts from strangers, I imagined a gift box with a bomb in it, and when my parents expressed fear at strangers "stealing" me, I imagined them doing it with a massive butterfly net.
  • My mother's to blame for this one — she told me that "dream fairies" existed, who manipulated your dreams with their fairy dust and made sure you had happy dreams, and I believed every word of it, to the point where I'd leave "sacrifices" (flowers, sugar, etc) for them. It started just as a bribe ("Keep your voice down because it's evening time and the dream fairies don't like it when people shout in the evening") but she just kept making more and more stuff up.

For every low there is a high.
kirbman Mamaf*cker! from The place Since: Feb, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#3218: Aug 18th 2022 at 2:54:27 PM

I used to hang out with this kid in my neighborhood that was always telling me these really weird lies, and I believed them wholeheartedly. He once claimed you could fight the son of the Great Mighty Poo in Conker's Bad Fur Day by jumping into his mouth. Another time he claimed he and his friends made all the music on vgmusic.com with real instruments. There's a lot more, but I don't remember them all.

Edited by kirbman on Aug 18th 2022 at 11:54:39 AM

Zanreo Gizmondo from Glitch City (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Gizmondo
#3219: Aug 18th 2022 at 2:54:49 PM

I thought food poisoning referred to someone putting actual poison in someone else's food, and as such assumed it was much more dangerous and harmful than it usually is

My favorite failed console tbh
Kiobi20 Since: Sep, 2016
#3220: Aug 18th 2022 at 6:59:36 PM

I used to believe Samus was a robot and refused to accept that she was a woman thinking that the one that was telling me that wanted to bother me.

Demetrios Lucky Seven from Des Plaines, Illinois (unfortunately) Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: And they all lived happily ever after <3
Lucky Seven
#3221: Aug 18th 2022 at 7:00:38 PM

I thought coffee stirrers could also be used as drinking straws.

The Obsidian Destroyer is the best non-hero unit in WarCraft III.
Kiobi20 Since: Sep, 2016
#3222: Aug 18th 2022 at 7:07:07 PM

[up] I thought the same even as an adulttongue I'm not of a coffee guy so I didn't knew much of the proper way of drinking it until I was an adult.

Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#3223: Aug 19th 2022 at 2:07:17 PM

Two other beliefs my mother fed me:

She told me toys occasionally disappeared to this place called "Adventure Land" (I think because she didn't want to admit she was too lazy to help me search for them) and made up all kinds of insane details about this supposed place.

She also told me that she'd met a wizard named "Wizard Wiggle Wand", who made the neighbour's dog sing, the cat fly, the ducks speak Spanish, the sheep pink, and changed a sign from 'Please let buses go first' to 'First buses please let go', and that where he'd been, there was a "buzzy" feeling in the air. My gullible seven-year-old self believed it, to the point where I had psychosomatic buzzing.

For every low there is a high.
Bootlebat Since: Dec, 2012
#3224: Aug 19th 2022 at 7:23:18 PM

@Zanreo I thought that exact thing as well!

Kiobi20 Since: Sep, 2016
#3225: Aug 19th 2022 at 8:11:36 PM

[up][up] I feel your mother really wanted you to have a sense of wonder, either that or she really liked to mess with you.


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