Here be my challenge suggestion. I couldn't add it in the Doc as it was acting up on me for some reason, so here it is
on Pastebin...
Yo guys, JSG here!
Seeing that I haven't been posting anything for quite a while, I think it's safe to say I've gradually lost interest in the RP and have decided to drop out of AGOG <<
It's a shame, but I just feel like I couldn't handle multiple R Ps all at once like I used to. Soooo... yeah. Sorry that it took me this long to officially announce my withdrawal >_<
Tv Tropes is not blocked in China, no. Internet here is simply atrociously slow when connecting to sites outside of China. Also, go to Beijing. Nothing in Sichuan can compare to the air pollution there.
You can get around the Great Firewall with a VPN at any rate.
edited 22nd Aug '16 4:38:27 AM by joergenjetsam
Conception is sin Birth is pain Life is toil Death is inevitableSo over the past three days in China, I:
Day 1:
- Explored the limits of my ability to survive extremely spicy foods (a Sichuan specialty, even at breakfast) without ready access to water (another Sichuan specialty, the only non-polluted water available is in hot tea or expensive bottles).
- Was introduced to Chinese-style driving and subsequently was in an accident involving getting sideswiped by a minibus and into another guy's car (and only one accident, that ended with money being handed over for repairs and cigarettes exchanged, instead of a fistfight). Our driver's name was Lao Hu, which I'm told means Tiger.
- Realized that all bugs here are gigantic (a dead leaf-patterned moth the size of my thumb, a grasshopper several inches long, a butterfly I thought was a bird until I realized how slow it moved, another moth big as my hand...).
- Played cards with a trio of fashion models, one of which chose Kevin as a Western name (we didn't ask her why she chose that name in particular, but very little about the world of fashion makes sense to me).
- Found a bridge that seemed to be guarded by dragonflies, and was asked to have my picture taken by two young girls (only one of my brothers got this treatment, my sister more than us). No idea why, there's no "holy shit, a gwai lo!" attitude despite my having seen more pandas than white people here (5).
- The rest of the extended family had their dead skin on their feet eaten by fish (if ever you have a chance to experience this in company, take a video, that stuff is unleaded Reaction Video Fuel). I declined, because cosmetics and I parted ways a long time ago, but I did think the owner looked like old Toph due to her habit of keeping her hands behind her back. Which leads me to the next item...
- Met a kung fu master (really) who told us he had a French apprentice (seriously), and he was a master of the Mantis style (I lived through this and still have difficulty believing it happened). For those tragically unaware of ATLA lore, Toph's Game-Breaker / Curb Stomp My Kung-Fu Is Stronger Than Yours style is based on Mantis style. The dude was awesome enough to demonstrate a technique to us (and just how negative our chances were against him), and I can now truthfully say I am closer to achieving that glorious goal of becoming the second-greatest earthbender in Creation than most people on the planet.
- Went rafting in a place my sister-in-law's uncle works at, who we're told is an ex-politician (and is the father of one of the aforementioned models). I can certainly believe that, the man has eyebrows like the Devil.
- Saw 6 pandas (one of them did nothing but sit on his ass, air out his balls, scratch himself and yawn. We had no choice but to call him Pandabro.), 4 baby pandas (ugly creatures) and rescued dragonflies (two from the same place in five minutes, and one of them (also gigantic, see item 3) tried to chew his way out of my hands. The second one just sat on my finger and had to be slid onto a leaf to understand he was no longer trapped behind a window. Not very bright, are dragonflies).
- Found that the panda center had signs in Chinese, Japanese, Korean, English, and surprisingly enough, French. Some of the ranguage could get remarkably poetic.
- Saw a very high concentration of poodles (as in, tiny dog, big poofy haircuts). One of them was trained to get on his hind legs and push down both forelegs like he was working an invisible slot machine.
I confirm what joergen said about Internet speeds here.
Sichuan food is a favourite amongst my Chinese kin as well. It's great. It's kinda like playing Touhou for someone who's never played shmups before. The first few times can be summed up as "Ohmygodwhatthehellisthis!?" but one adjusts surprisingly quickly.
Conception is sin Birth is pain Life is toil Death is inevitableFurther observations of an American in Sichuan:
- The language barrier was an expected problem, but it turns out that by enunciating clearly and slowly, using drawing, mime and ample gestures, it's possible... to summon someone with a translator app so communication can ensue.
- Getting your hair cut here involves a shampoo and a massage. Apparently this is standard, with the cheap ones going faster, presumably the really bargain ones just slap you before getting out the scissors.
- What I said about not attracting any stares? For some reason that only applies to rural areas, in the city we got a lot more people looking at us (one old lady gave us a true Death Glare, though this might have been her default expression), an effect that was only exacerbated when on of my brothers bought a panda hat and shirt, resulting in a dozen requests for pictures. I myself ended up getting asked twice today.
- An entire class of students jogged past us shouting "Hello!" and "How are you?". This is something of a common occurence from everyone from little kids to senior citizens to people trying to sell you something.
- Visited a 3rd-century B.C. irrigation system that's still in use today. It looked even cooler thanks to the weather: the fog made it look like one of those Chinese paintings that are all mountains, clouds and scraggly trees.
- We learned that during banquets, it's traditional for everyone at one table to get up and toast people at the other tables (and the glasses must be drained), and this is done by every table for every table. As you can imagine, this results in huge amounts of booze passing around. My brother ended being talked for a very long time by a friend of his wife's family who only spoke Chinese, and didn't seem to think it a problem that my brother (still) doesn't. At one point he beaned another guest in the head with an ashtray. I unfortunately wasn't there, as I was being taught to play mah-jong, somehow managing to win one round thanks to an old lady pointing it out (they don't translate the ideograms used for numbers).
- I ate a scorpion. It tasted like a gougère. I also ate a turtle and the brain of a pig, but those are nothing special.
- Saw what I can only describe as a fusion of communism and Disney: a bunch of dancers shaking bouquets while one guy in the background kept waving this huge red hammer-and-sickle flag, while a young woman wearing Belle's dress sang something relentlessly cheerful.

The Knights are ahead of the Brachiosaur. If you walk out the front door of the bank, the Brachio is by your left, the Knights your right.
The Alternates are all over the place.