Dragon Ball Z Abridged

And all these people are from a species that has evolved a sex drive. No matter what that sex drive makes them attracted to.

Namekians literally do no have one. At all. Which makes Dende all the weirder.

Father Moori ate Guru despite his entire species living off of water. What amounts to a holy man for the Namekian people has potentially become their first cannibal.

I don't think Dende is all that weird, nor does he have to be normal for the humor of his portrayal or his consistently unfair situation to land. I'm on the "it doesn't have to make absolute sense or be morally acceptable to be funny" side of the spectrum.

Edited by Soble on Sep 19th 2018 at 6:52:59 AM

But Guru also drank all the water. It was probably more like sucking on a really juicy fruit.

For all we know its how criminals are punished. After all, Namekians have evolved teeth. Clearly they aren't limited to drinking. They can get their water from eating too. (which would make sense, as an alternative way to get water). Eat the flesh, extract the water from it.

Heck, the very village where we first see Moori clearly has crops growing.

Edited by Ghilz on Sep 19th 2018 at 9:54:41 AM

Namekians make no sense biologically anyway. Sentient parthenogenic plants wouldn't really work the way they do as far as I can guess.

Now I have the image of Guru's desiccated corpse rotting away on Earth somewhere.

Thank you for that.

I think at one point in this thread we workshopped the idea that Namekians were treepires. That during the Great Drought, all the water was in the Namekian trees we see everywhere, and they evolved the fangs to puncture holes in the trees and suck the water out. Like vampires sucking blood from a neck.

It's still probably my favorite Dragon Ball conversation I have ever had.

The crops the Namekians grow are purely decorative, if I recall correctly.

Considering how the number of crops they have far outnumbers the number of huts they have, they are really into bonzai tree.

How many house plants do you need per tiny hut.

Edited by Ghilz on Sep 19th 2018 at 2:49:10 PM

He does seem to indicate that this is the standard procedure for Namekian succession.

• Moori: And now that I have devoured Guru, I have become the new grand elder!
• Bulma: Huh. Seems legit.

He says that all matter-of-fact. Like it's a totally normal thing. None of the other Namekians question it, either; Moori's claim to power goes totally unquestioned. Indeed, Bulma's punchline highlights the absurdity that the Namekians are all just cool with this being the process.

I think the official explanation of that is that they're terraforming Namek. Cultivating new life to restore the biosphere after the devastating conditions Namek had recently suffered or somesuch.

I remember something about, like, all of these Namekians being birthed by Guru to rebuild and that's why he's their Grand Elder, and also why there are only six villages on the entire planet and no other pockets of sentient population.

But I might be mistaken. Wouldn't explain why they have teeth either way.

Edited by TobiasDrake on Sep 19th 2018 at 1:35:47 PM

I know that's the offiical explanation, but it's still stupid because their crops are like... 18 bushes.

It's not gonna replant the planet is what I'm saying. And it's not like the Namekians, a Post-FTL race of super strong, super fast being, can't manage more than 18 bushes a season.

I mean, its conceivable that all their sweet tech got destroyed in the same cataclysm, since we never see any of it.

Edited by WillKeaton on Sep 19th 2018 at 1:51:33 PM

Baby steps, my friend. Baby steps.

Well, somebody did it, and it is still glorious.◊

I am gonna go on a limb and assume they still got irrigation? Plus they are still a race that can fly at super speed.

At this point it makes more sense to assume the Namekians either grow crops as some sort of seasoning, or other rare use, or purely as entertainment.

Edited by Ghilz on Sep 19th 2018 at 4:01:43 AM

For context, a gif of Vegeta and Trunks affectionately flipping each other off.

For context, Team Four Star released a lyric video of Cell's rendition of My Way

Seriously, guys, we have rules about Zero Context Links (link goes to the forum post containing said rule but it's also in the note here: ^note  Specifically "Avoid posts that contain only links, without context. Not everyone can or wants to click out of the site to see what you're talking about. To help advance the discussion, quote relevant passages from the linked content or provide a summary.")

Edited by sgamer82 on Sep 19th 2018 at 2:05:32 AM

I mean, wasn't the cataclysm a drought? How does that destroy their technology?

Maybe Guru was just too young to understand the technology (even irrigation), hence why his race is basically starting from nothing. As sole survivor, the only knowledge there would be is what he had in his head.

I don't see why a link from TFS's youtube channel about one of their DBZA characters needs context.

Especially since it's embedded. The thumbnail is my context.

Don't Namekians have genetic memories? Piccolo Jr. Is born knowing everything King Piccolo knew. All of King Piccolo's children are born knowing everything including how to talk and fight.

According to the mod who thumped me yesterday, no, thumbnails are not enough because reasons.

Edited by Ghilz on Sep 19th 2018 at 4:10:57 AM

I wouldn't mention it except it happened twice in a row.

Piccolo Jr. knew everything King Piccolo knew because he was his reincarnation and kept all of his memories.

Edited by LSBK on Sep 19th 2018 at 3:14:02 AM

Aren't Piccolo Jr. and all of King Piccolo's children mutant freaks?

Like, Piccolo Jr. is adult-sized after only 3 years, while Dende doesn't seem to have grown much 4 years after the Namek saga.

And yet Drum is born fully intelligent.

Could also be due to being different caste. Piccolo's warrior clan and can't make Dragonballs. Dende's Dragon Clan. Now how did Piccolo get a different clan than his different half is another story.

Edited by Ghilz on Sep 19th 2018 at 4:20:24 AM

Demon King Piccolo's children were basically mutant demon things. You shouldn't apply what went for them to normal Namekians.

Edited by LSBK on Sep 19th 2018 at 3:22:49 AM