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This thread is for tropers who have trouble with English and would like some help with the crazy grammar of this crazy language.

Write down what you wish to edit on the wiki. If you have been suspended from editing, another troper might be kind enough to edit for you after your suggestions have been corrected.

The thread is for help and feedback on your own suggested edits.

If you want help correcting other people's edits (e.g., if you find a page which seems to have grammar problems but want a second opinion, or you don't feel able to fix it by yourself) then that's off-topic here, but we have a separate Grammar Police cleanup thread that can provide assistance.

Edited by Mrph1 on Nov 16th 2023 at 5:37:57 PM

Tylerbear12 What you see is what you get, just a guy. from The Green Hills. Since: Apr, 2015 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
What you see is what you get, just a guy.
#23776: Apr 5th 2023 at 5:59:07 PM

Trivia.The Super Mario Bros Movie

  • I Knew It! Several fans have predicted that the main green Yoshi will be present in The Stinger as a Sequel Hook, especially since he was conspicuously absent when all the other Yoshi were present. Indeed, that turns out to be exactly what happened.

Characters.The Super Mario Bros Movie:

  • Adaptational Wimp: While Mario is still competent, unlike the games, which depict him as The Ace, he is a Naïve Newcomer who often finds himself getting beaten up a ton early on, only becoming closer to his game self by the end. Justified, since the movie is meant to act as an Origins Episode and he is new to everything.

Edited by Tylerbear12 on Apr 6th 2023 at 9:34:32 AM

G-Editor The 47th President Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
The 47th President
#23777: Apr 5th 2023 at 6:26:03 PM

I got some planned entries I want to check for spelling and grammar errors:

  • The Medium: The Maw is a malicious monster born from the trauma Richard Tarkowski inflicted on Lilianne Rekowicz. The Maw exploits Lilianne’s desire to save herself and sister Marianne when the two are trapped in the house fire by manipulating Lilianne to free it from her mind, where it goes to the nearby Niwa resort to inflict a massacre there; it possesses bodies to kill people before leaving its hosts as rotting corpses with dozens dead, children included, and very few survivors. Not killing Lilianne only due to dying itself because of their spiritual connection, The Maw sees Marianne and decides to take the medium’s body for itself so it can its connection with Liliane before discarding her.
  • Crisis Core: Lazard Duesericus is the illegitimate son of President Shinra who grew up in the slums of Midgar. Every-bit the brilliant mastermind as his half-brother, Rufus, Lazard would use his genius and charisma to climb the ranks within the Shinra Electric Company eventually becoming The Director of the SOLDIER program while secretly embezzle money to fund Dr. Hollander’s experiments to create an army against Shinra for Lazard’s own vendetta against his father for abandoning him and his mother to poverty. Coordinating strategies for both SOLDIER and Genesis’s forces, Larzard orchestrates Dr. Hollander’s jailbreak when the Shinra’s forces detain him. Becoming an Angeal copy, Lazard has a change of heart, turning on Hollander and Genesis, help Zack Fair stop the villains plans, and dies protecting Cloud Strife from Shinra’s forces.

Edited by G-Editor on Apr 5th 2023 at 12:06:52 PM

My sandbox of EPs and other stuff
zwj Since: Mar, 2023
#23778: Apr 5th 2023 at 11:29:20 PM

Genshin Impact Liyue:

  • Atsuko returned to the outskirts of Inazuma City after completing two of Raiden Shogun's Story Quest acts;
  • Nazafarin (Sumeru) visited Mondstadt amd moved there in version 3.5. According to this, we speculate that Nazafarin will visit more nations, including the upcoming Fontaine, Natlan and Snezhnaya.

NPCs in nation pages are to be reorganized by home nation instead of their location. just bugs me

Edited by zwj on Apr 5th 2023 at 11:50:57 AM

Minorica Rhythm Heroine from Earth Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
Rhythm Heroine
#23779: Apr 6th 2023 at 12:24:39 AM

For In the Back Anime And Manga:

  • The Kindaichi Case Files: In the Time Skip Sequel Series The 37 Years Old Kindaichi Case Files, the last scene of "The Killer with Twenty Faces Murder Case"'s epilogue has Shidou Akamine die from getting backstabbed on the street and the hooded man who knows and stealthily killed him gleefully expresses:
    The hooded killer: Happy Haloween Shidou Akamine, and goodbye forever!

Edited by Minorica on Apr 22nd 2023 at 5:31:58 PM

"No matter how bad the heroes can get or how bad the situation is, we're sure we can overcome it and get our happy endings..."
jOSEFdelaville Since: Dec, 2018
#23780: Apr 6th 2023 at 3:05:45 AM

Legends of Idleon

  • Faceless Eye: There are plenty of monsters with a single eye and no other facial features.
  • Fishing Mini Game: The fishing skill has a mini-game where the player must throw a lure to catch fishes, while avoiding mines.
  • Flavor Text: Most items have descriptions which often contain jokes.
  • Green Hill Zone: The first half of the first world Blunder Hill, is a grassy field.
  • Holiday Mode: There are several yearly events based on holidays, including: Christmas, Halloween, Summer break, Easter and Valentine's day.
  • An Ice Person: Some monsters in Frostbite Tundra are ice-based. The boss of this world, Chizoar, is an ice Behemoth.
  • Lethal Lava Land: The fifth world Smoulderin' Plateau is a volcanic area.
  • Living Statue: One NPC is a sentient block of marble who can be carved into a statue.

Defend Your Castle

  • Action Bomb:
    • Eventually, you face enemies wearing explosives so they can blow themselves up when they reach your castle.
    • You can send converted units as kamikazes so they can kill bunches of enemies by exploding.
  • The Blank: Aside from the giants, none of the stick figures have faces.
  • Chromatic Arrangement:
    • The three spells use red, yellow and blue icons. The "Kill" spell uses a red icon, the "Detonate" spell uses a yellow icon and the "Convert" spell uses a blue icon.
    • Three of the castle's four towers have a yellow, red and green flag. The remaining tower has a blue roof.
  • Enemy Exchange Program:
    • The Temple upgrade allows you to convert enemies on you side by dropping them inside the castle.
    • One spell allows you to directly convert an enemy.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: A spell allows you to make an enemy explode.

Nerd & Jock

  • Frivolous Summoning: In one strip, Olga summons a demon called Zenetreus the Eternal so he can give her fasion advices. Zenetreus is surprisingly happy about being summoned for that.
  • Sudden Name Change: During Jock's first date, his girlfriend was called "Stalker Girl", which wasn't unfitting in a comic where the protagonists are literally called Nerd and Jock. In Stalker Girl's later appearence after the first date, her true name is revealed to be Olga and everyone acts as if it was always her name.

Echidna from Ontario, Canada (Striking Back) Relationship Status: Two-timing
#23781: Apr 6th 2023 at 6:53:49 AM

  • We Bare Bears: The Movie: Agent Trout is a corrupt government agent and the commander of National Wildlife Control who wants to restore the "natural order" by separating the bears. He consistently abuses Officer Murphy for petty reasons, such as his extreme plan to capture the bears. It is revealed he only separated the bears out of hatred, rather than to help. It's shown he also tortures many black and grizzly bears for his own amusement, making them miserable. After the fire caused by his electric fence, he leaves the bears to die in the wildfire for ruining his plan before getting arrested by Officer Murphy for all the crimes he committed.

Anything I need to correct here?

Edited by Echidna on Apr 6th 2023 at 11:22:59 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#23782: Apr 6th 2023 at 7:04:35 AM

Page 951 @Bullman

One look at AO 3 and Tumblr will show that a lot of the film's fandom...

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#23783: Apr 6th 2023 at 7:06:57 AM

[up] @Tylerbear 12

..unlike the games, which depict him...

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#23784: Apr 6th 2023 at 7:17:42 AM

[up] @G-Editor

...and her sister Marianne...there. <- period It possesses...survivors. It doesn't kill Lilianne...connection. <- period The Maw sees Marianne and decides to take the medium’s body for itself so it can <missing text> its connection with Liliane...

^ The Maw decides to take Marianne's body so it can do what with its connection with Liliane?

Every bit as much the...Lazard uses his...ranks of the...Company, <- comma eventually becoming the Director...secretly embezzling money...when the Shinra’s...turning...Genesis, helping Zack...the villains' plans, and dying while protecting...

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#23785: Apr 6th 2023 at 7:21:57 AM

[up] zwj

Atsuko returned to the outskirts of Inazuma City after completing two of Raiden Shogun's Story Quest acts. <- period

According to this, we speculate that...

^ Speculation of this sort is only allowed in certain specific parts of the wiki, such as Wild Mass Guessing. Does the place you're planning to post this allow it?

Edited by Arivne on Apr 6th 2023 at 7:22:14 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#23786: Apr 6th 2023 at 7:23:35 AM

[up] @Minorica

...Shidou Akamine die from getting backstabbed...

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#23787: Apr 6th 2023 at 7:33:05 AM

[up] @jOSEFdelaville

...mini-game where the player must throw a lure to catch fishes <- no comma while...

The first half of the first world Blunder Hill <- no comma is a grassy field.

...including <- no colon Christmas, Halloween, summer break...Valentine's 'Day.

^ It's either "summer break" or "Summer Break".

The Temple upgrade allows you to convert enemies to your side...

One spell allows you to directly convert an enemy to your side.

...can give her fashion advice. Zenetreus...

In Stalker Girl's later appearances after the first date...

Edited by Arivne on Apr 6th 2023 at 7:40:04 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#23788: Apr 6th 2023 at 7:36:16 AM

[up] @Echidna

...reasons, <- comma such...It is revealed...hatred, <- comma rather than to help his...amusement, <- comma making...

Bullman Enid Sinclair Since: Jun, 2018 Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
G-Editor The 47th President Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
The 47th President
#23790: Apr 6th 2023 at 8:48:47 AM

@ Arivne: I meant to say sever its connection

Edited by G-Editor on Apr 6th 2023 at 11:49:05 AM

My sandbox of EPs and other stuff
SAM156 Since: Apr, 2016 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#23791: Apr 6th 2023 at 10:41:02 AM

GRIDMAN UNIVERSE

The Collaborator

  • Go Out with a Smile: Even though he had to die, he was glad to be freed from boredom.
  • Redemption Equals Death: His immortal power was used to its limit while merging with Mad Origin. His body gradually begins to collapse and disappear after being freed.

kawaiineko333 (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#23792: Apr 6th 2023 at 12:11:11 PM

Atelier Ryza: Ever Darkness & the Secret Hideout

  • Bishōnen Line: The Final Boss, the Ravaging Queen, starts off as a bus-sized metallic mantis for phase 1. Phase 2 reveals a humanoid form like something out of a Toku.

EmperorGeode from A Galaxy far, far away Since: Oct, 2022 Relationship Status: On the prowl
#23793: Apr 6th 2023 at 12:51:12 PM

For Complete Monster

  • Dragon Ball Super Last Judgement (link): Goku Black is version of Zamasu who switched bodies with Son Goku before teaming up with his future incarnation to cleanse the multiverse of mortals. Destroying all life in Universe 7, Goku Black and Future Zamasu travel to Universe 6 and kill the Supreme Kai. Goku Black travels to planet Sadala and destroys the capital, before massacrin the army sent to stop him. When chalenged by Cabba, Kale and Caulifla, Goku Black sadistically toys with them and kills Supreme Kai’s attemped when he assists them. Sucessfully killing the trio, Black looks forward to killing all mortals in Universe 6.
  • Sith Hero (link): Sheev Palpatine becomes aware of Anakin and sends Darth Maul to kidnap him. After Maul is killed, Palpatine kills Qui Qon and Shmi, before taking Anakin under pretense of being his father. Palpatine spends years training Anakin in the ways of the Sith, regurarly torturing him with the Force Lightning. Starting the Clone Wars in order to take the power and destroy the Jedi, Palpatine has Anakin serve as the general of the Republic in order to improve public opinion on the Sith. Learning that Anakin accidentaly got general Grievous killed, Palpatine has him punished with the Force Lightning.

Tylerbear12 What you see is what you get, just a guy. from The Green Hills. Since: Apr, 2015 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
What you see is what you get, just a guy.
#23794: Apr 6th 2023 at 2:11:50 PM

VideoGame.Super Mario World

Adaptation Expansion: Downplayed with the GBA port, as it adds a new beginning cinematic that shows Mario, Luigi, and Peach entering Dinosaur Island via a hot air balloon, with Mario and Luigi quickly goofing around on the island shortly after entering, only to realize Peach got kidnapped offscreen when the two came back to meet up with her, leading into the game. While it's not much, it's certainly more than what the SNES original offered, which just kicks you right into the game with only a text box telling you that Peach is missing and that Bowser is up to no good.

Edited by Tylerbear12 on Apr 7th 2023 at 10:07:42 AM

JujuP Since: Jul, 2013
#23795: Apr 6th 2023 at 3:19:40 PM

I hope to correct the page Characters.Secret Of Cerulean Sand:

Below are the main characters appearing in this serie.

The main team

    Jane Buxton 
Jane Buxton is a teenage girl who one day receives a letter containing a mysterious cerulean sand, along with the new-found certitude her brother George was alive.

Always optimistic, she hates violence and loves engineering, especially aeronautics, because she thinks flying in the sky would allow her to see her mother, who died while giving birth to her.


  • Age Lift: In the novel, she is around 25; in the serie, she is 15.
  • Blue Blood: She is from an aristocratic family.
  • Brainy Brunette: She is smart enough to build flying machines, including one using azurium, and shows a strong interest in the physics needed to do so.
  • Gadgeteer Genius: Is very interested in engineering, had several flying machines built, including ones using azurium, and worked aboard a landship.
  • Lady of Adventure: Jane isn't about to let a few hundred thousand square kilometers of sand stand in the way of finding her brother, so she sets off on a grand adventure across the globe at 15 years old.
  • Missing Mom: Her mother died while giving birth to her, causing her interest in flying machines to find her mother in the sky.
  • Plucky Girl: Despite occasional moments of doubt, for example after seeing a massacre by Neo City airships, Jane tries to remain optimistic about her chances of finding her brother George alive. She's willing to do whatever it takes to reunite with him, even travelling to the Eastern desert.
  • Secret Identity: Jane nearly reveals herself as a member of the Buxton family, but hastily switches it to being "Stuart" when she introduces herself to Barsac.
  • Wide-Eyed Idealist: She has a very optimistic vision of the world, sees only the good and positive in technical progress and other human beings and suffers a Heroic BSoD after she discovers flying machines can be used for evil.
  • Wrench Wench: Jane shares her brother's interest in wanting to create flying machines. She's named each of her attempts "Albatross" and numbered them, apart from the last one which she names "Silver Wings" and helps the other engineers on the landboat of the Barsac expedition.

    Chambellan 
Chambellan Agenore is the butler of the Buxton family. Kate and he were the sole remaining domestics after the Buxton Bank Robbery caused the family's wealth to collapse.

Very attached to Lord Buxton, he saw his children grow up. He's fond of fishing and keep with great care on the fishing rod Lord Buxton gifted him.


  • Adaptational Nationality: He went to being Jane's French nephew to being her British butler.
  • Battle Butler: Butler bound to the Buxton family, he fought his way through Neo City to protect Jane from Harry Killer's henchmen.
  • Old Retainer: Practically raised the Buxton children, remained in the house along with Kate after the Buxton bank failed and followed Jane through the Levant.
  • Private Tutor: On the boat to the Levant, he is shown teaching Miss Buxton about Alexander the Great's conquests.
  • Quintessential British Gentleman: Fights to keep the proper standards of behaviour and clothing of a British gentleman, which puts him at odds with Sabri.
  • Spell My Name With AS: Another version of his name is Agenor de Saint-Berain, which is his name in the original novel The Barsac Mission.
  • Unrelated in the Adaptation: In the original novel, he was Jane's nephew from her father's second marriage.

    Sabri 
Sabri is a young orphan initially found by the duo after he and his band of street children steal Chambellan's. He's soon hired as a Native Guide by Jane, and saves her and Chambellan from desert robbers.

He manages to befriend Jane but has a tense relationship with Chambellan, although it softens later when they learn to know each other.

Later, he meets Sasha and promises her he would bring her parents back.


  • Artful Dodger: Thrived in the streets until meeting Jane.
  • A Father to His Men: Agreed to work for Jane as a guide only after his fellow orphans came to tell him they had found themselves positions in various shops and workshops.
  • Recruited from the Gutter: Jane recruits him as a guide to the town where George is allegedly buried after Sabri steals her purse from her.
  • Street Urchin: Lived in the streets with his band of fellow orphans.

    Comet 
Comet is the dog adopted by Jane after his former mistress rejected him.

He loves sparky objects, which often causes conflicts with humans, including causing Banshe to be blamed for theft.


  • All That Glitters: Loves bright objects, which caused Banshee to be accused of theft. In Neo City, he is sent to retrieve the keys of the cell where Chambellan and Sabri were held.
  • Chekhov's Skill: His love for bright objects later makes him useful for retrieving the keys of the cell where Chambellan and Sabri are held in Neo City.

Barsac Expedition

    Christopher Barsac 
Christopher Barsac is the university rector who had heard George Buxton speak about the azurium and was alone in believing in him.

Years later, he leads an expedition to investigate mysterious disappearances of native villagers. The secret side of this mission is to search for George Buxton's whereabouts.


  • Adaptational Badass: In the original novel, Barsac was merely a deputy known for his speeches during travel. Here, he leads a military mission.
  • Adaptational Job Change: From deputy to the French parliament to British scholar.
  • Badass Bookworm: Himself a scholar, led a expedition abroad across the desert to track down those responsibles for the kidnappings of villagers.
  • The Lost Lenore: His wife Amanda and daughter Karen died during a flood in India because the doctors weren't able to reach them. This is the reason why he's so interested in flying machines.

    Marcenay 
Marcenay is the military officer of the Barsac expedition.

A lieutenant, he's very attached to his men.


    Willy 
Willy is the chief enginer of the Armadillo.
  • The Engineer: Is the chief engineer in the Armadillo landship.

Hanah Tribe

    Old village chief 
Was the head of the tribe at the beginning, before dying fighting Neo City forces.

    Camille 
Camille is the daughter of the chief, suceeding him after he died from a Neo City attack.
  • The Chief's Daughter: Unusually for this trope, she's a more active version. Sure, after her somewhat frosty first meeting with the Barsac expedition, she befriends Marsenay and later marry him but she's not merely staying in the village but actively fighting to defend it.
  • Fiery Redhead: She has red hairs and succeeded to her father as the tribe's chief after he died fighting Neo City.
  • Lady of War: Leads her subjects to fight against Neo City.
  • Science Is Bad: She has a very dim view of technology, since the only machines she ever saw were the ones used by Neo City to attack her tribe. She even attempts to attack the Armadillo until Jane manages to interpose herself and convince her the Barsac expedition didn't come to loot and murder Camille's subjects.

    Sacha 
Sasha is an orphan Camille welcomed after her parents were caught by Neo City slavers.

Sabri befriends her and promises her to free her parents.


  • Adopt-a-Servant: After her parents were kidnapped by Neo City, Cahimme welcomed her into her house. In the episudes set in the village, she is seen doing some chores for Camille.

Buxton family

    Lord Buxton 
Lord Edward Buxton is the head of the family, a banker and the father of Georges and Jane.

Three years after his first wife Lady Buxton died giving birth to Jane, he remarried to Margaret, the mother of 11-year-old William. Margaret died a few years after.

Years after, he learns his son-in-law William had invested his clients' money in dubious ventures and becomes angry after him.

The day after, his bank is robbed and he ends up accused of fraud, leaving him ill and bedridden in the process.


  • Honour Before Reason: Refuses to let William do profitable yet risky investments with his clients' money, feeling it would be a breach of trust.
  • Impoverished Patrician: The robbery of his bank caused his wealth to vanish, leading him to have to dismiss most of his servants from Glenar, apart from Chambellan and Kate.
  • Trauma Conga Line: Lost two wives, then his bank failed, his stepson disappeared and his son travelled abroad and then was said to have been executed for treason. Lord Buxton sure has had a tough life.

    George Buxton (spoilers) 
George Buxton was an inventor and engineer who made a discovery about a cerulean sand reacting to the moon to make items fly, which he called "azurium." His discovery made him the laughing stock of the assembly, but Barsac ends up attracted to his ideas.

After leading an expedition to find deposits of azurium, a letter was sent to Buxton House to inform them he had been shot for treason.

However, one day, a mysterious letter to Jane changed everything...


    William Buxton (spoilers) 
William Buxton became the son-in-law of Lord Buxton after Lord Buxton married his mother Margaret when he was eleven.

When he became older, he worked in the Buxton Bank until Lord Buxton contested some of the investment choices he made.

The day after, he diseappeared and the bank was robbed...


  • Morally Bankrupt Banker: His father-in-law thought that some of his methods of financial management were dishonest.
  • The Resenter: Resents the Buxton family for his mother's death.
  • Walking Spoiler: A full biography of him would reveal everything about the series.

    Kate 
Kate is an old maid working for the Buxton family.
  • Old Flame: Some frames imply she might be in love with Chambellan.
  • Old Retainer: Much like Chambellan, stayed with the Buxtons when they had to dismiss most of their domestics.

Neo City

    Harry Killer 
Harry Killer is the leader of Neo City.
  • Adaptational Sympathy: Unlike in the original novel, where he's only described as the immoral scion of a large family who died unrepentant for his crimes, here Harry Killer aka William Buxton is shown as someone who was deeply affected by her mother's remarriage and his entry into a new family. He's shown to deeply love his mother and in the end tries to save Jane's life before dying himself.
  • Bad Boss: In the last episodes, had soldiers die solely to test his superweapon. Even earlier, just before the founding of Neo-City, threw Abbas out of his land yacht to make room. In The Finale, kills most of his henchmen.
  • Evil Overlord: As the leader of Neo City, has presided over the enslavement and plunder of native villagers.
  • Heel–Face Turn: And by the leader of a slave state, no less! His last actions before dying were to save Jane's life.
  • I Own This Town: Neo City is his thing: he created it, made it grow and destroyed it.

    Morilire 
Morilire is The Spymaster of Harry Killer, who followed Jane since she left England.

As he's kept out of the loop by Harry, he soon wonders why Killer is interested in her.


  • Native Guide: Morilire is hired by the Barsac expedition and he saborages it.
  • Treacherous Advisor: After being hired by the Barsac expedition as a Native Guide, Morilire sabotaged the expedition, whether by losing packages or by getting them lost.
  • The Spymaster: Led the military forces of the city, tracked down Jane since Chambellan and she left England before catching her and her followers Sabri and Chambellan near Georges's false grave.

    Professor Kamale 
Professor Kamale is the chief scientist of Neo City, living in ignorance of what really happens.

In reality, he is Georges Buxton, whom Harry Killer led to believe he had caused the accidental deaths of the British soldiers who came along with him, adding he could redeem himself by helping to create Neo City as a shining example of what scientific progress can bring to mankind.


  • The Atoner: Believes he had to atone for an error which caused hundreds to die. However, the incident was really caused by Harry Killer.
  • Composite Character: In addition to be George, Kamale is also Marcel Camaret the chief scientist of Blackland in the original novel.
  • Dies Differently in Adaptation: Instead of dying stabbed by William, George dies in the explosion of his doomsday device.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: As there's no more room in the lifeboats of the flying aircraft, he tells Jane to take the last one.
  • Reluctant Mad Scientist: Kamale doesn't love to work on the superweapon Harry Killer wants, and accepts only to protect Jane.

    Jeanne 
Jeanne is the adoptive daughter of Harry Killer.

Originally having a very rosy vision of Neo City, Jane manages to dispel her illusions about its inner workings.

In the ending, she has been adopted by Barsac.


  • Doomed Hometown: Originally from Neo City, she lost her homeland after Harry Killer destroyed it.
  • Happily Adopted: She's very happy with Barsac, who adopted her after they left Neo City.
  • Replacement Goldfish: William loved Jane so much he named his adoptive daughter Jeanne.

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#23796: Apr 6th 2023 at 6:17:41 PM

@ Obi-Wan Kenobi

  • The names Zonder, Ekria, Djinn Altis, and Rahm Kota appear on the wall of the Path's safe house (written in Aurebesh), as do several other Legends Jedi not mentioned above, although their statuses as Order 66 survivors are not yet confirmed.
@ Obi-Wan Kenobi
  • The names of many other Legends Jedi who made relatively few appearances before the Disney buyout and had yet to appear since the Disney buyout are written in Aurebesh on the walls of the Path safe house are visible in either the episodes or production stills. Specifically, Qu Rahn (who becomes a Spirit Advisor to the protagonist of the Dark Forces Saga after being killed by an Inquisitor), Nichos Marr (who survives long enough to join Luke's new Jedi Order, as detailed in Children of the Jedi), Djinn Altis (who is mentioned in all three books of The Callista Trilogy and appears in a few Clone Wars-era books), the trio of Drake Lo'gaan, Ekria, and Zonder (from the Evasive Action webcomics), Rahm Kota (from The Force Unleashed), Corwin Shelvay, Fable Astin, and Drun Cairnwick (who originate from sourcebooks and short stories for the 1990s roleplaying game note , and Tiberius Anderlock (from the MMORPG Jump to Lightspeed).

@ The Callista Trilogy

  • Actually Pretty Funny: When Durga learns that one of his top subordinates is an incompetent imposter who has spent months lying to his face and getting away with it, he can't help but chuckle after hearing about some of the man's past gaffes, and admits it's his own fault for not doing a background check on the guy after first hiring him.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!:
    • In Darksaber, when Bevel Lemelisk hears his employer prepare to use the poorly-constructed super weapon he just built, he excuses himself to leave the room and then runs for the shuttle bay to get off the installation before the battle starts and the Darksaber is either destroyed by attacking forces or blows itself up due to the aforementioned construction flaws.
    • In Planet of Twilight one of the last surviving people onboard Leia's diplomatic vessel grabs Artoo and Threepio and heads for the nearest escape pod as everyone else dies of the Death Seed Plague. He hasn't escaped the infestation himself, though, and dies shortly after ejecting.

@ Poor Communication Kills

  • Blood Bond: In Ride for Vengeance, a feud between ranchers who were once best friends traces back to how one of them made a joke about how he was considering rustling cattle to pay off some debts, and then he suddenly had enough money to pay off his debts. The money came from his wife selling her jewelry, but he was too proud to admit this even after a feud started when his highly honest friend aroused his wrath by accusing him of rustling without asking him in private where the money was from first. The villains exploit the feud to kill a few people before the truth finally comes out and the ranchers reconcile.

@ Proposal Thread

  • Teen Power Inc.: In Dangerous Game: Tony Zaetta owns a popular novelty shop with secret smuggling ties. When a group of petty thieves steal his briefcase while it contains two dozen statuettes that have pearls hidden inside, Tony knows that the thieves will think the statuettes are worthless and abandon them, as they did in past robberies. To find the pearls, Tony sponsors a scavenger hunt for statutes like the ones with the pearls, with his workers hiding similar statuettes (with subtle differences so Tony can spot the valuable ones instantly) around town. His unwitting searchers find most of the statuettes and turn them in. When Tom Moysten keeps one valuable statuette as a souvenir, Tony fakes a tie in the contest to make Tom turn it in after all. Despite his shady actions, Tony shows concern when his More Despicable Minion attacks Tom, is genuinely fond of his young customers, and and is impressed rather than dismayed after Tom exposes him. Before being taken to jail, he even honors his word and gives Tom and his friends the grand prize for winning the scavenger hunt.

Edited by Melinda on Apr 7th 2023 at 1:21:50 AM

igordebraga from Brazil Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Owner of a lonely heart
#23797: Apr 6th 2023 at 11:53:18 PM

Arivne, regarding my last post: no context how? I downright state I wanted to add to Humanlike Hand Anatomy, which means the Feather Fingers looked like hands. Of course, adding to Feather Fingers could be a better solution (just thought that acknowleding that the first version had "human-like limbs that still looked like wings" meant Humanlike Hand Anatomy was the better trope).

Inspiration for the Work:

Clare Since: Aug, 2009
#23798: Apr 7th 2023 at 4:33:30 AM

@ Melinda

Obi-Wan Kenobi

  • The names Zonder, Ekria, Djinn Altis, and Rahm Kota appear on the wall of the Path's safe house (written in Aurebesh), as do several other Legends Jedi not mentioned above, although their statuses as Order 66 survivors are not yet confirmed.
^ Try to be consistent about how words are spelt. Here, you originally wrote "safehouse" as one word, but in the following entry you wrote it as two words.

Obi-Wan Kenobi

  • The names of many other Legends Jedi who made relatively few appearances before the Disney buyout and had yet to appear since the Disney buyout are written in Aurebesh on the walls of the Path safe house are visible in either the episode or production stills. Specifically, Qu Rahn (who becomes a Spirit Advisor to the protagonist of the Dark Forces Saga after being killed by an Inquisitor), Nichos Marr (remove space before parentheses) (who survives long enough to join Luke's new Jedi Order, as detailed in Children of the Jedi), Djinn Altis (who is mentioned in all three books of The Callista Trilogy) and appears in a few Clone Wars-era books), the trio of Drake Lo'gaan, Ekria, and Zonder (from the Evasive Action webcomics), Rahm Kota (from The Force Unleashed), Corwin Shelvay, Fable Astin, and Drun Cairnwick (who originate from sourcebooks and short stories for the 1990s roleplaying game note , and Tiberius Anderlock (from the MMORPG Jump to Lightspeed).

The Callista Trilogy

  • Actually Pretty Funny: When Durga learns that one of his top subordinates is an incompetent imposter who has spent months lying to his face and getting away with it, he can't help but chuckle after hearing about some of the man's past gaffes, (comma) and admits it's his own fault for not doing a background check on the guy after first hiring him.

  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!:

    • In Darksaber, when Bevel Lemelisk hears his employer prepare to use the poorly-constructed super weapon he just built, he excuses himself to leave the room and then runs for the shuttle bay to get off the installation before the battle starts and the Darksaber is either destroyed by attacking forces or blows itself up due to the aforementioned construction flaws.

Poor Communication Kills

  • Blood Bond: In Ride for Vengeance, (comma) a feud between ranchers who were once best friends (remove comma) traces back to how one of them made a joke about how he was considering rustling cattle to pay off some debts, (comma) and then (remove comma, superfluous word - cut) he suddenly had enough money to pay off his debts. The money came from his wife selling her jewelry, but he was too proud to admit this even after a feud started when his highly honest friend aroused his wrath by accusing him of rustling without asking him in private where the money was from (move text) first. The villains exploit the feud to kill a few people before the truth finally comes out and the ranchers reconcile.
^ It's not clear if Blood Bond: Ride for Vengeance is the title of a single work, or if Blood Bond is the title of a series and Ride for Vengeance is the title of a work in that series.

@ Proposal Thread

  • Teen Power Inc.: In Dangerous Game, (comma, move pothole) Tony Zaetta owns a popular novelty shop with secret smuggling ties. When a group of petty thieves steal his briefcase while it contains two dozen statuettes that have pearls hidden inside, Tony knows that the thieves will think the statuettes are worthless and abandon them, as they did in past robberies. To find the pearls, Tony sponsors a scavenger hunt for statuettes like the ones with the pearls, with his workers hiding similar statuettes (with subtle differences so Tony can spot the valuable ones instantly) around town. His unwitting searchers find most of the statuettes and turn them in. When Tom Moysten keeps one valuable statuette as a souvenir, Tony fakes a tie in the contest to make Tom turn it in after all. Despite his shady actions, Tony shows concern when his More Despicable Minion attacks Tom, is genuinely fond of his young customers, and is impressed rather than dismayed after Tom exposes him. Before being taken to jail, he even honors his word and gives Tom and his friends the grand prize for winning the scavenger hunt.
^ I moved the pothole to Friend to All Children to where it says "genuinely fond of his young customers" because it makes more sense to have in that position. I also extended the pothole to Villain with Good Publicity to include the reference to "secret smuggling ties" because those words are directly relevant to that trope.

Edited by Clare on Apr 7th 2023 at 12:37:37 PM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#23799: Apr 7th 2023 at 7:24:30 AM

[up] @SAM 156

I don't see any problems with the English in those examples. However:

Redemption Equals Death: His immortal power was used to its limit while merging with Mad Origin. His body gradually begins to collapse and disappear after being freed.

^ This is a Partial-Context Example. It explains how and why he dies, but how did what he did redeem himself?

Edited by Arivne on Apr 7th 2023 at 7:24:50 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#23800: Apr 7th 2023 at 7:26:25 AM

[up] @kawaiineko333

I can't find any English errors in that example.


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