This thread is for tropers who have trouble with English and would like some help with the crazy grammar of this crazy language.
Write down what you wish to edit on the wiki. If you have been suspended from editing, another troper might be kind enough to edit for you after your suggestions have been corrected.
The thread is for help and feedback on your own suggested edits.
If you want help correcting other people's edits (e.g., if you find a page which seems to have grammar problems but want a second opinion, or you don't feel able to fix it by yourself) then that's off-topic here, but we have a separate Grammar Police cleanup thread
that can provide assistance.
Edited by Mrph1 on Nov 16th 2023 at 5:37:57 PM
I wonder. A trip down Google doesn't condemn the word "purposely" one bit.
For Third is Prequel YKTTW Discussion
- Campione: The first book story is about an already existing imbalanced Battle Couple. The second book puts their valuable ally girl in distress and series onto the harem tracks. The third book has the protagonist tell the second girl beginnings of how he and the first girl came together. Not all Noodle Incident-look-alikes are dispelled, prequel story would continue some seven books later without it being framed as any character's narration.
edited 3rd Oct '15 12:28:30 PM by SetsunasaNiWa
I prefer if it goes like this :
- Campione!: The first book tells about an existing imbalanced Battle Couple, the second book tells about a valuable ally girl in distress and series of harem tracks and the third book tells about the protagonist reveals to second girl about how he and the previous girl end up being together. There is also a seven prequel books that doesn't have any character's narration and some of the Noodle Incident-look-alikes .
Well I'm probably going to list down some of the changes from the original. Do note this is just my opinion
- Combine the first three sentence together.
- Remove the 'already' word since it is mention that the Battle Couple is ongoing and existed.
- I would prefer that the protagonist reveal to the second girl on how he and the previous girl meets together.
- Question: Is the ally girl the first girl, second girl or a different girl. I may suggest to add in the name instead.
- I'm still confuse with the last sentence yet I construct the words that sounds a bit more appropriate.
- Question: When it says 'some seven books later', does it mean the total books is 10 books or just seven?
Hope this is a better sentences than the original one since there's a lot of grammar mistakes that I nearly get myself confuse especially the last line. Hope it helps
edited 3rd Oct '15 7:53:11 AM by andrew369
Why do you want combined sentences? 0.o
There is a trope being proposed. In its discussion (link was provided in my post) people are in doubt if this idea of a trope is worthy.
I started with a vague idea that could help the discussion there. Around that idea I built my example candidate. There's a lot of detail that could be retold of three books, you know, but not everything is important for illustration of a particular trope. The ongoing book series, by the way, is 18 books long right now.
—-
For Campione! first book, my strong suspicions are as follows. The protagonist is male, therefore target audience is supposed to feel empathy with him. Therefore, it's better to provide him with some enviable circumstances, from author's standpoint.
Although Campione! protagonist's situation is such that he can't brag about those circumstances or show off (which is likely already an Aesop of some kind), let's count.
- Being a godslayer. It means having a set of special moves powerful enough to kill gods. Passive abilities include insane levels of physical fortitude, magic resistance, quick language learning, keen senses.
- A wise and smart, strong and beautiful, wealthy, capable and active, caring and loyal girl in love with him.
- By becoming a godslayer he graduated from being a Muggle and on the other side of the Masquerade godslayers are pinnacles, revered and feared entities who command unlimited authority.
- Amazing sport talent from earlier childhood is at his disposal again, now that his godslayer body healed an injury that was never supposed to heal.
If the main character were introduced without all that, less people would be inclined to follow his story, buy next books. The second girl is introduced in the first book, but one book is not enough for much else beside one conflict through which initial introductions to the setting are presented.
Okay, so why not make the second book a prequel? One potential answer is that the second book had to be devoted to something else. You can't know real truthful answer, that's why tropes (which are patterns, not facts) exist. That "something else" that hogged the second book, what could it be? Continuing to look for characters and characters' relationships is only logical, since they were likely responsible for all that big In Medias Res.
What seems feasible as author's intentions behind the second book is just as example stated: the second girl becomes very strongly romantically involved. The first book allowed room for guessing "will they or won't they?". After the second book, there's no doubt, the competing romance theme is going to be milked hard by author. Which is a known popular genre anyway, hence the Harem Genre pothole.
Why bother with prequels at all then? To avoid readers getting excessively artificial feelings from the story. Why would the first girl be so in love with him? She could find someone better. And, yes, Noodle Incidents could use addressing. There you go, a backstory for third book, yay.
—-
And that concludes a basic idea where the possible trope is, and that's what I've cleaned of subjectivity and condensed into a paragraph of an example above. Installments go as follows: 1) a candy, enticement; 2) promise of the further direction; 3) how things arrived at current status quo.
On top of basics are details of a trope play. In this case, the prequel book uses prologue and epilogue to say that protagonist is telling the story to that second girl. He and the first girl are acquainted in that girl, and he becomes a godslayer, but she's still quite not head over heels for him. Fourth book onward is again "present time", and prequel story continues in the tenth (3 + 7 = 10 :)). At that time, it isn't like the protagonist tells the same girl a continuation. It's just a story set at that time that doesn't reference "present day" state of characters. It's like author decided not to set up this book-long Expospeak a second time.
tl;dr: Answers to questions. "Is the ally girl the first girl, second girl or a different girl. I may suggest to add in the name instead." (note how your question lacks a question mark "?".) "Ally girl" is the second girl, Yuri Mariya. The first girl's name is Erica Blandelli. Introducing their names did not seem beneficial to the example of the envisioned trope.
"When it says 'some seven books later', does it mean the total books is 10 books or just seven?" Neither. The sequel is number three. But its story doesn't answer all questions, it doesn't tell the whole backstory per se. Book number ten continues from where book number three ends.
edited 3rd Oct '15 3:23:17 PM by SetsunasaNiWa
Ok thanks for clarifying up. And I apologize again since I was going to bed the moment I re-edit the post.
Well in my opinion those who assume that the ally girl is a different person as a first time readers. So it is best to write the name just in case to make it less confusing.
Again thanks.
edited 3rd Oct '15 6:47:04 PM by andrew369
I need some advice or correction on one of the sentences I posted a few weeks ago. This is under Total Drama Island Awesome moment page:
- When Noah and Owen accidentally broke the sister's wheel in Beijing, how does Noah helps them out? Using his ''OWN HAND AND grabs the holder of the broken wheel of the sister's cart, even at the cost of his own hand.
Any help here?
Apparently, an article "a" is used with a plural noun here. And it's wrong.
There's a subject "those", but there's no verb for it, no sentence is forming. Guessing, in place of "as" the word "are" could work...
Potholing long fragments of text is bad manners. Most of the texts is made black on white for a reason. Being easy on the eyes is one at the very least.
Linking to YMMV items in potholes is best avoided. Unless In-Universe or Invoked, a link to YMMV is claiming something based on opinion without explanation. But opinion without explanation is not of interest to this wiki. The description doesn't do a good job of conveying what actually happened, but the guy lost a hand, right? Well, I bet I'm not alone when I'm saying that it doesn't make sense for someone to feel a moment of heartwarming over someone getting mutilated. All in all, a horrible pothole.
In third person singular present tense, auxiliary verb, if present, hogs the "s" that normally appends to the main verb. It must be "How does he help", not "how does he helps".
edited 5th Oct '15 2:05:51 PM by SetsunasaNiWa
Thanks for the help. But I got to ask you one question and sorry if this might sting a bit:
I can understand that you correct and give me advises but is it really necessary that you target every single sentences that I write even the ones that are not related to the trope? No offense and all honestly.
For Back Stab
I will add the new example for Video Games.
- In Sengoku Basara 4 Sumeragi, Ashikaga Yoshiteru has one of his secret arts, Muken No Tobira (literally mean 'Infernal Gateway'). When he uses this skill, he temporarily cease attacking with his weapon, keep it on his back and Crucified Hero Shot in front of enemies. This skill works when any enemy got trapped in his attack sphere, then, he will warp behind the enemy to attack and they will get knock down from his attack.
edited 11th Oct '15 9:48:48 AM by Aurevoir
I'm not sure of how to explain grammactical errors, but I can tell you that the second bullet should be added to the first bullet or removed completely. It is incorrect example indentation.
andrew369, here's an answer I've arrived at after carefully pondering various options. Those mistakes were pointed out because it was you.
Aurevoir, you don't seem to follow rules on how verbs should change in third person singular present tense. See those rules here, for example
. You do show correct forms occasionally, such as "has" instead of "have" in "Ashikaga Yoshiteru has one of his secret arts" fragment. It's just that then you follow with a spree of incorrect "<it> mean" instead of "<it> means", "he use" instead of "he uses", and so on.
That bit on example indentation is rightfully pointed out by valozzy. I would add another thing to that: it's better to aim for examples that do not rely on links to videos or images.
For Manga.Omamori Himari
- Spit Take: Rinko spits out the tea she was drinking when Shizuku opts to check Yuuto's tea for poison in their first encounter with suspiciously nervous cafe proprietress Lizlet. Philosophies of humans, demonslayers and spirits aside, Rinko sees an inconspicuous petite young girl suddenly lash out with a snake-like tongue across the table in public.
edited 7th Oct '15 3:12:40 PM by SetsunasaNiWa
Okay... I apologize if I was rude and say something wrong. I assume I was being picked on for every single word I'm writing. I appreciate the help and tips that you have corrected me in the past but I kinda feel that correcting every single sentences even it is not trope related is going a bit personal.
No offense or anything. I'm just a bit sensitive of making a mistake as I'm not that perfect even I am still doing my best to improve and correct my English.
I have nothing against you and if I did anything wrong towards you I'm sorry, SetsunasaNiWa. I just want to clear things up as I don't think ill of others.
edited 7th Oct '15 4:15:32 PM by andrew369
I need someone to help me add this in the funny section in Lego Dimensions Main Story folder:
Anyway here's another one for the Lego Dimension at the funny section:
- Upon visiting the Wizard of Oz world for the first time, Batman, Gandalf and Wyldstyle are walking along the yellow brick road. Until they happen to see Dorothy and her friends from afar, leading to this dialogue:
Wyldstyle: I think he's going crazy!
Gandalf: Going,my dear? He's wearing a bat costume.
edited 10th Oct '15 8:30:48 AM by andrew369
Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt
- The Lad-ette While Panty make look and dress feminine she is this. Besides being a slob and nose picking; she is generally foul mouthed. To top this off she has slept with a lot of guys
edited 8th Oct '15 8:35:38 AM by ConservativePip
^ I would change the entry to look like this:
- The Lad-ette: While Panty may look and dress in a feminine way she is this. Besides being a slob and picking her nose, she is generally foul-mouthed. To top it off she has slept with a lot of guys.
edited 10th Oct '15 1:03:03 AM by Arivne
Avoid "is this" when writing trope examples. It's a meaningless bit of word cruft and violates Show, Don't Tell.
edited 9th Oct '15 5:08:34 AM by Fighteer
"It's Occam's Shuriken! If the answer is elusive, never rule out ninjas!"I question if that's even an example. The Lad-ette does not look and dress in a feminine way. Having slept with a lot of guys does not necessarily top off The Lad-ette. She might be seductive or easy. If you feel you need to start the example by saying that she applies despite something then it is probably not an example.
Another two comparatively superficial points to consider.
- The (lacking wicks) example of Panty is available on The Lad-ette page. Good, bad, right, wrong — no matter, it can serve as a comparison anyway.
- Since the example intends to describe an overbearing trait, defining the character's place throughout the plot or at least large portions of it, it's not episodic. Such examples go to a Characters/ subpage whenever there is one. And Characters.Panty And Stocking With Garterbelt exists.
(What's not superficial is a muddy situation with avoiding zero-context examples on such overbearing tropes. How exactly does one explain applicability of an archetype, without resorting to baseless, generalized and opinionated statements. All that isn't of the highest concern when dealing with just grammar aspect.)
andrew369, your example seems to contain observations within dialogue. Such things need to go in square brackets, per Text Formatting Rules.
I can't understand whom does that Batman confront, what does it mean? At the very least there are "them" that walk the road and there are another "them" that have the cited dialogue. No way to understand which of them is meant.
The "To sing along the road" bit looks very questionable to me. I guess the intended meaning, but it's not written grammatically correct. Correct me if I'm wrong, I'd say it's no good even as a broad stylization (as an attempt at witty writing). They're moving, walking, trudging, skipping, (whatever) along the road while singing, not a hybridization of two actions.
Aurevoir. Verb "To cease" means to stop, to end an activity. An activity or phenomenon can just cease (cease to be, cease to exist) by itself too. But you use "cease" with an object. What do you mean by him ceasing his weapon? Does he cease attacking with his weapon? Does he cease attacks which his weapon performs by itself? Or did you mistake the word and he seizes his weapon from somewhere or from someone?
edited 10th Oct '15 2:43:43 AM by SetsunasaNiWa
Edited just now.
Regarding the square brackets, I've tried adding the '->' here but it doesn't seem to work as it only shows the -> instead of the square bullets in the dialogue.
...
How do you get "->" referred to as square brackets?
Read Text Formatting Rules, folder named "Quotes Formatting", it reads, emphasis added by me, "Stage directions and actions go in square brackets, italicized." and shows an example.
...
So if the skill works when a foe is trapped in some evade-barring sphere, does that mean that the sphere is a different skill? A different skill that needs to be cast before? And does it mean, that if a foe is not caught in that sphere, then Yoshiteru can't stop attacking and can't put his weapon on his back?
These question appear strange perhaps. It's just that current description is not sufficient as a material to imagine the game mechanics properly.
edited 11th Oct '15 10:05:02 AM by SetsunasaNiWa
I must go to delete that line first.
It seem I am too much hot-headed to do that, sorry.
BTW, If Yoshiteru didn't caught any enemy in his attack sphere, he just pick his weapon again and on normal stance.
edited 11th Oct '15 10:10:45 AM by Aurevoir

edited 1st Oct '15 5:11:12 PM by lakingsif
OH MY GOD; MY PARENTS ARE GARDENIIIIINNNNGGGGG!!!!!