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This thread is for tropers who have trouble with English and would like some help with the crazy grammar of this crazy language.

Write down what you wish to edit on the wiki. If you have been suspended from editing, another troper might be kind enough to edit for you after your suggestions have been corrected.

The thread is for help and feedback on your own suggested edits.

If you want help correcting other people's edits (e.g., if you find a page which seems to have grammar problems but want a second opinion, or you don't feel able to fix it by yourself) then that's off-topic here, but we have a separate Grammar Police cleanup thread that can provide assistance.

Edited by Mrph1 on Nov 16th 2023 at 5:37:57 PM

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#19501: Aug 6th 2022 at 3:51:33 PM

Thanks

  • Fuzzy Nation
    • Jack Holloway is a MegaCorp surveyor and former attorney who was disbarred for helping a guilty client nearly escape justice. He uses his encyclopedic knowledge of the law to browbeat negotiators and is unaffected by threats against his life He simultaneously strikes a rich vein of minerals and discovers a new sapient alien life-form, the fuzzys. Jack seemingly sets himself up as an advocate of the aliens while using court rulings in their favor to make his employers give him a bigger share of the mining profits. When his schemes endanger the fuzzys, Jack sacrifices his potential fortune to engage in Courtroom Antics that destroy the corporation’s position and ensures the fuzzys’ safety. As a Consolation Prize, Jack ends up being made a minister in the fuzzys’ new independent planetary government. He ends the book by saying that he prides himself in keeping other people from knowing what his goals are and that he may not be the good man the fuzzys think he is, but he was the right man to save them.
    • Brad Landon appears to be the loyal and efficient assistant of Corrupt Corporate Executive Wheaton Aubrey, but turns out to be Aubrey's superior, who is observing him in the field to determine if he has the required skills to be CEO. Landon acts as a conciliatory figure, making rational-sounding business proposals and polite conversation even as he's working hard to screw people over for the sake of the company's bottom line. No one ever suspects his true status until he reveals it to put Aubrey in his place. He makes it clear that his supposed boss has failed the test devised for him and that things could would have gone much worse if not for his supervision of Aubrey. He makes an effort to extend an olive branch to Jack and the fuzzys in the hope that they'll allow the company to return to the planet in the future once their anger cools down.

@ 87th Precinct

  • Dating Catwoman: In Tricks, Parker has a spark with another Halloween party guest before realizing she's with a group of thieves and killers his colleagues are after (in fact, she's the one who's done all of the killing) and arresting her with some regret.
  • The World's Expert (on Getting Killed): In Tricks, a liquor store owner the squad warns about a group of murderous thieves brags about how he's gunned down many such robbers in the past. A few pages later, the current gang of robbers kill him before he can get a shot off.
@ Kim Possible
  • They Wasted a Perfectly Good Character: Kim and Bonnie's fellow cheerleaders are essentially Social Circle Filler, even Tara, despite her early crush on Ron. It could have been interesting seeing more about how they navigate being in the middle of Kim and Bonnie's rivalry, how they view Kim's world-saving activities, and how their perception of Ron changes after his heroism in the second episode.
@ High Plains Drifter

@ The Worst Witch

  • Class Princess: Fenella and Griselda are popular girls a year above Mildred. Despite having a fondness for pranks, they are always quick to help out younger students and the more reasonable staff members.

@ Ben 10: Race Against Time

@ Cold Turkey

  • Loophole Abuse: The one townsperson who won't sign the non-smoking pledge manages to avoid disqualifying the town for eligibility in the cold turkey contest by taking a vacation for the duration of the contest.

@ Shenandoah

  • Woobie Family:
    • While Boy is the main woobie, the Andersons in general are pretty pitiable by the end of the movie after three of their members die under pretty pointless circumstances despite their efforts to remain neutral during the war. It doesn't help watching how they spend much of the movie looking for the unjustly imprisoned Boy without success.
    • Dr. Witherspoon's family isn't any better off than the Andersons, as two of his sons are dead or dying after joining the Confederate army and another is still fighting. All of this clearly weighs on Dr. Witherspoon, especially since he can see that the South is losing the war and he's lost at least two children for nothing.
@ Gargoyles Ensemble Dark Horse

Edited by Melinda on Aug 7th 2022 at 11:24:34 AM

miraculous Goku Black (Apprentice)
Goku Black
#19502: Aug 6th 2022 at 5:09:37 PM

Justice League: Doom

  • Evil Is Cool: This incarnation of Vandal Savage is easily considered one of his best in media. A suave, sophisticated, and intelligent conqueror with genius plans.

Law & Order: SVU

  • Ensemble Dark Horse: Merrit Rook is easily one of the show's most popular villains despite only appearing in one episode. Robin Willaims performance was acclaimed and won people over with both how intelligent he was and how sympathetic he was.

Edited by miraculous on Aug 6th 2022 at 5:09:52 AM

"That's right mortal. By channeling my divine rage into power, I have forged a new instrument in which to destroy you."
dudeu Since: Feb, 2021
#19503: Aug 6th 2022 at 5:30:57 PM

Streak: 0???

The Producers

Musical folder

  • Sexy Secretary: Ulla's appealing looks and revealing clothes earn her the job of being Mac and Leo's secretary.

Edited by dudeu on Aug 7th 2022 at 4:54:33 PM

jOSEFdelaville Since: Dec, 2018
#19504: Aug 7th 2022 at 4:11:12 AM

Téléchat

  • The Ghost: Groucha's tennis rival, an angora cat is sometime mentionned, but is never seen.
  • Interspecies Romance:
    • During all the series, there is Ship Tease between Groucha the cat and Lola the ostrich. Groucha ends up confessing his love in the final episode.
    • Hortense and Léon Minoux are respectivelly a bunny and a cat, but they end up falling in love with each other.
  • No Name Given: Groucha's tennis rival, the Angora cat, is mentionned several time, but is never given an actual name.
  • Twice Shy: Hortense and Léon Minoux eventually fall in love with each other, but there are both too shy to confess to each other until they get some help from Téléchat.

Edited by jOSEFdelaville on Aug 7th 2022 at 1:11:27 PM

Acebrock He/Him from So-Cal Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: My elf kissing days are over
He/Him
#19505: Aug 7th 2022 at 4:33:16 AM

[up]I'm not in a place where I can add that to the page, but I would like to point out that mentioned only has two ns not three. The double n at the end should only be a single n

My troper wall
Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19506: Aug 7th 2022 at 8:38:47 AM

From page 780 @fishysaur

...if approached in the right way...as the price...get on his bad side, where...

...they were with Roger's pirates), like...which, <- comma over the timeskip, <- comma goes...Seven Warlords, reserved for strong...Warlord system is...

Buggy gets easily angered if someone even points out at his red nose...

^ Is it "points at" his red nose or "points out" his red nose?

...despite becoming an effective big name in the pirate world...own lack of potential.

...power worth of losing...before eating it...grudge against Shanks...

Clownish look aside, Buggy is a traditional greedy pirate <- no comma who's not above using dirty tricks in a fight...

Buggy and Galdino are initially indifferent...other, <- comma but...during the Impel Downs escape...

...Buggy believes in treasures in the traditional sense, <- comma like...

He tends to speak a lot, to...ability to detach his body parts.

According to an SBS, Buggy could even detach his penis with his Chop-Chop fruit power.

^ What is an SBS? You might want to write that out.

...strong, <- comma but <- no comma thanks...pirates in the world...aim for, right...

...are complemented by...literally detaches them.

^ Compliment = "say something nice about someone", complement = "match" or "go along with".

Edited by Arivne on Aug 7th 2022 at 8:39:23 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19507: Aug 7th 2022 at 9:07:15 AM

[up] @Melinda

...law to browbeat...life. <- period He simultaneously...the fuzzys' safety....the fuzzys' new...fuzzys think he...

Landon acts as a...making rational-sounding business...return to the...

...(in fact, she's the one who's done all of the killing)...

...Social Circle Filler, even Tara, <- comma despite...

...to Duncan's death, <- comma Callie...fate, <- comma while most other people...

...for turning out to be a Reasonable Authority Figure, <- comma both...

as two of his sons are dead or dying after joining the Confederate army...

Odin is only in two season 2 episodes, <- comma but...

...with some Big Ego, Hidden Depths moments, <- comma appears...

The Renaissance Hunter...

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19508: Aug 7th 2022 at 9:09:40 AM

[up] @miraculous

...Vandal Savage is easily considered one of his best in media: <- colon a suave...

...villains, <- comma despite...Robin Williams' performance...intelligent he was and...

Edited by Arivne on Aug 7th 2022 at 9:09:50 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19509: Aug 7th 2022 at 9:10:51 AM

[up] @dudeu

I don't see any English errors in that sentence.

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19510: Aug 7th 2022 at 9:14:13 AM

[up] @jOSEFdelaville

Groucha's tennis rival, an Angora cat, <- comma is...

During all the entire series...

Hortense and Léon Minoux...but they are both...

Edited by Arivne on Aug 7th 2022 at 9:14:22 AM

fishysaur Good for nothing Since: May, 2018
Good for nothing
#19511: Aug 7th 2022 at 10:14:46 AM

thanks again!

more tropes for Buggy

  • Bad Boss: Buggy doesn't treat his subordinates well, and blows up a crewmember for having seemingly insulted his nose. He gets nicer over time, however, because he gains many new members who are much stronger than him, and he can't afford to treat them badly.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy: Word of God says that Buggy could be one of the most powerful characters in the series if he ever bothered to train himself up. However, since his ambition is getting as much treasure as he can and not getting power, Buggy doesn't have much interest in furthering his fighting power and going up against real heavy hitters. The fact he was a member of the Roger's Pirates lends credence to the idea that he's actually very powerful. After becoming a Warlord and gaining stronger crewmembers, Buggy begins to gather more power as well and, once the Warlord System is abolished, he gathers some very powerful allies like Crocodile and Mihawk and challenges the Marine itself by issuing bounties on marines.
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Buggy is so greedy and materialistic that he's perplexed by Boodle, who considers Orange Town a treasure. At the same time he dismisses Luffy's hat (as well as the fact it was Shank's), because he believes that the only treasure is a classic chest with gold and gems.
  • Flight: Buggy's detached body parts float, so he can make his entire body fly when he detaches it from his feet, which remain on the ground.

tropes for Aramaki

  • Body Horror: The people who get their nutrients sucked out by his root become empty and emaciated husks unable to move.

tropes for Tama

  • The Apprentice: At the end of the Wano Arc, Shinobu takes Tama under her wing to train her into a proper kunoichi.

tropes for Shinobu

  • Formerly Fat: In her fight with the Admiral, Shinobu gets her nutrients sucked by Aramaki and becomes an empty husk. After being healed, she doesn't return to her usual, fat self but remains thin and becomes an attractive woman.
  • Obliviously Beautiful: Inverted. Shinobu is a very ugly woman who used to be very attractive and still acts like she's beautiful, although she appears to have a bit of awareness of her ugliness since, when a former comrade is about to point out that she's not as beautiful as she used to be, Shinobu hits him in the nuts with a ninja technique. Played straight after she becomes thin and beautiful but Shinobu claims that her new body is ugly and threadbare.
  • Sexy Mentor: At the end of the Wano Arc, Shinobu has her nutrients sucked out by Aramaki, making her body dried and emaciated. After being healed, she inexplicably becomes thin and attractive like she usually claims to be and, at the same time, reveals that Tama has become her apprentice to become a kunoichi.

Edited by fishysaur on Aug 8th 2022 at 7:27:31 PM

There isn't an impossible dream, there are only people who give up
miraculous Goku Black (Apprentice)
Goku Black
#19512: Aug 7th 2022 at 12:42:20 PM

Thanks Arivne

"That's right mortal. By channeling my divine rage into power, I have forged a new instrument in which to destroy you."
Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#19513: Aug 7th 2022 at 12:49:38 PM

Thanks. Sorry about the length of this. Tomorrow I'll strive for 750 words or less.

@ Ben Safford Mysteries

  • Unmanly Secret: In Murder Out of Commission, adventurous Congressman Tony Martinelli is visibly embarrassed when his wife tells his friends that Tony gardens for fun.
@ Zombie Apocalypse Hero

  • Blood Quantum: Reservation police chief Traylor, his father (a fisherman and war veteran), his younger son, and a couple friends who are good with an axe and chainsaw work hard to kill lots of zombies and keep their community safe. Even considering how members of their tribe are immune to zombie bites, they manage to maintain a pocket of civilization for months longer than anyone else in the world.
  • Dance of the Dead: The sci-fi club, the Go-Getter Girl head of the prom committee, an athletic but easily overwhelmed Pom-Pom Girl, a gym coach, the school bully, a garage band, and the cemetery groundskeeper all have to pick up the slack in defending their town against zombies, although not all of them work alongside each other.
  • The Dead Don't Die: The local cops and a katana-wielding mortician kill quite a few zombies during the attack on their town. Store owners Hank and Bobby also manage to keep their store barricaded for a short while and then kill several zombies that get in. None of it accomplishes anything. The mortician turns out to be an alien and flees the planet, while the only other survivors owe their longevity to hiding in the woods and not getting within half a mile of any zombies.

  • Ravenous (2017): The remaining members of a farming community and a businesswoman from the city who knows how to use a machete struggle to survive against the zombies, or at least kill lots of them as their chances of survival decrease.
  • Black Tide Rising: The main protagonists are a history professor and his thirteen-year-old Waif-Fu-happy daughter. Among the tougher and more successful protagonists of the tie-in short stories are a paraplegic septuagenarian Friendly Sniper, a cheerleading coach, a bunch of gamers, a selectman on a Maine island, a family of moonshiners, and a farming community (plus refugees who include a Gun Nut stockbroker) that has a pack of zombie-killing guard dogs and ultimately goes on a Construction Vehicle Rampage.
  • The Estuary: As zombies ravage an Irish village, leadership of the survivors ultimately falls to a resourceful author and his retired spy neighbor.
  • World War Z: The book's anthology format and use of many Non Action Guys and professional soldiers as POV characters keeps this trope from showing up too much, but there are a few instances.
    • Blind gardener Tomonoga Ijiro retreats into the wilderness during the outbreak, but he takes a sword with him and proceeds to decapitate every zombie he encounters. He later helps lead the rebuilding of Japan.
    • Suburbanite Mary Jo Miller kills a zombie with her bare hands while defending her daughter and becomes the architect and mayor of a village designed to be inaccessible to zombies.
    • T. Sean Collins watches a newscast of East Side New Yorkers fighting zombies with hammers, pipes, baseball bats, their bare hands and (in one case) a meat cleaver bolted to a hockey stick. Despite taking heavy casualties, it's implied that they won.
    • Several of Todd Waino's squadmates during the march upcountry fought zombies before joining the military, including professional wrestler who used a zombie's corpse as a club and a nun who defended her Sunday school class with a candlestick.
    • Roy Elliot makes a (non-embellished) propaganda film chronicling how three hundred college students armed with nothing but landscaping tools and ROTC practice rifles hold out against ten thousand zombies without any outside help.
  • The Zombies of Lake Woebegotten: The local clergymen, waitress, conspiracy theorist and various others form a small vigilante group to take out any zombies that reach town limits and do a good job of it.
  • The Strain: Pest exterminator Vassily Fet is the most adept character at fighting and surviving against the largely mindless vampire hordes, surpassing even the CDC scientist main protagonist.

@ Falling Skies

Some fanfiction has t the point of divergence a bit earlier due to wanting stories where Karen forms an Enemy Mine situation with the heroes after releasing Anne and Lexi instead of being rejected and shot.

@ Sir Henry Merrivale

  • Curse of the Pharaoh: In The Curse of the Bronze Lamp, an archaeologist dies from a scorpion sting soon after unearthing a tomb. Two of his colleagues vanish soon after a prophet curses them. They're faking their disappearances and plan to publicly reappear to discredit the supernatural hysteria behind the "curse". One of them is nearly murdered for real by an Opportunistic Bastard, but turns out to have been only been Left for Dead.
  • Get Out!: In The Curse of the Bronze Lamp, John Loring survives a murder attempt at the hands of a trusted colleague who was stealing from him, then confronts the crook in his home after Fell makes a long summation while letting the villain think the murder was successful, largely to make him have a Villainous Breakdown about being hanged. John says that he won't press charges, but tells his formerly trusted friend to "get out", saying this three times in a row for emphasis.
@ Get Out!
  • Fuzzy Nation: Near the end of the book, the MegaCorp personal have to vacate the planet due to its native species being recognized as sapient and are given three months to shut everything down and ship out anyone who doesn't wish to quit and work for the new government. The two main executives and The Dragon are also made to leave at the very beginning of that period, especially The Dragon due to the harm he's inflicted on Papa Fuzzy's family.
    Papa Fuzzy: Get off my planet, you son of a bitch.
@ The King Nobody Wanted @ Toy Soldiers
  • Badass Bookworm: Joey dutifully does his own homework as well as Billy's and is a skilled sketch artist, but he's also quick to advocate fighting back against the terrorists (albeit in a Leeroy Jenkins way) and eventually overpowers one hostage-taker and takes his gun away.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure:
    • Dean Parker and the headmaster impose discipline where it's necessary but don't go for the maximum punishment and want to help their students rather than push them away. They also work hard to keep them calm and safe during the hostage standoff.
    • General Kramer plans a successful rescue operation, cares about saving the hostages, doesn't overestimate his abilities, and isn't too proud to accept input from the information Billy smuggles out of the school.
Deputy Director Brown is respectful to Kramer, Parker, and the local cops, strives to avoid unnecessary bloodshed through negotiation as well as planning the commando raid, and only argues against relying on Billy for the understandable reason that Billy is an inexperienced kid with known authority issues.

@ Toy Soldiers

  • Fanon Discontinuity: A lot of fans really want to disregard Joey getting killed, given how he's one of the most interesting and well-developed characters of the movie and his death makes the final act needlessly dark.
  • Ho Yay: The boys have a strong True Companions vibe and don't mind being shirtless in front of each other. Joey and Billy in particular are subjected to shipping by some fans.
  • They Wasted a Perfectly Good Character: Robert Anderson (credited as "brave student") gets a notable moment of trying to summon help as the terrorists are taking over the school and then is singled out as one of the wealthy scions Cali views as particularly important hostages, but he never interacts with Billy's gang or significantly affects the plot.

Edited by Melinda on Aug 8th 2022 at 10:31:48 AM

dudeu Since: Feb, 2021
#19514: Aug 7th 2022 at 2:14:28 PM

Streak: 1?

Thoroughly Modern Millie

Stage Show Additions folder

  • Alto Villainess: Mrs. Meers is the show's main villain who runs a white slavery ring and sings in the alto range.

Braz Luz Stan from Boiling Isles (Apprentice) Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Luz Stan
#19516: Aug 7th 2022 at 5:46:47 PM

Fanfic.Underground Lab.


Underground Lab is a Prequel to Star from Beyond that is set into Liberty's World before she ended up in Stella's World.

After Lincoln went missing, Liberty Leal go to the sewers of a rainy Royal Woods to find him, finding an Abandoned Laboratory and a mysterious gemstone called Umbra Gem there.


This Fanfic contains examples of:

  • Abandoned Laboratory: The entire story takes place in this setting, Liberty comes to find Lincoln in this place after he went missing and she begins to find out the secrets from the place through logs.
  • Alternate Universe: This Prequel takes place into a parallel universe to the one that Star from Beyond takes place, Royal Woods is always raining in this world, forcing everyone to wear raincoats to navigate through the city.
  • Broken Pedestal: Lincoln once looked up to his sister called Luna, but after the divorce of the parents and the splitting of the family, he claims that she is a failure of sister now.
  • Raincoat of Horror: Liberty and Lucy wear these due to the rainy setting of Royal Woods, they keep wearing these during the investigation of the Abandoned Laboratory in the sewers of Royal Woods, where they face hostile robots and Liberty is slowly losing her mind to the Umbra Gem.

Us tropers stick together.
ChrisX ..... from ..... Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Singularity
.....
#19517: Aug 7th 2022 at 6:23:39 PM

All right. Let's see if this needs help before I launch the character entry for the King of Lucrece in Live A Live - Middle Ages and Spoiler Characters.

  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: His decision at the beginning of the chapter to hold a tournament where the winner will be granted the right to marry Alethea and be his heir indirectly threatens to doom all realities, because Streibough participates in it and fails to achieve the right to marry his love by being defeated by Oersted in the final round. For holding the tournament in the first place, Streibough plots to have the king killed by Oersted, who then takes the blame. This is just the beginning of Streibough’s revenge plot that eventually gives birth to Odio.

Additionally, I'm thinking to add this extra bullet point for Streibough's entry on Shadow Archetype:

  • Streibough is also this to Huey Trumbull, representing the dark side of 'losing in a Love Triangle'. While Huey is on the losing side of the love relationship and continuously bullied by both Rachel and Kirk, he never even tries to think of killing either of them or sabotage their relationship, he is content with still being able to love and support Rachel one-sidedly, even though she does not reciprocate. Meanwhile, after realizing that he lost in the Love Triangle for Alethea by Oersted, Streibough instead plots to make Oersted’s life miserable and gaslight Alethea to love him, all while Oersted never antagonizes him, which eventually ends in utter disaster with both of Streibough and Alethea dead while Oersted snaps and becomes Odio.

Edited by ChrisX on Aug 7th 2022 at 9:59:41 PM

bf2234 Since: Feb, 2021
#19518: Aug 7th 2022 at 6:27:18 PM

Dororo (2019)

    Tanosuke 

Voiced by: Hiroki Takahashi (JPN), Joe Daniels (ENG)

Portrayed by: Tatsuya Kageyama

  • Blood Knight: Nihiru's corrupting influence has made him addicted to fighting and killing other people
  • Death Seeker: He wants to be killed by someone stronger than him because the sins he committed five years ago under the influence of Nihiru (killing soldiers and innocent lives) can't be forgiven. Hyakkimaru grants him his wish.
  • Dies Differently in Adaptation: He is killed by Hyakkimaru instead of killing himself to satisfy Nihiru.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Despite being a serial killer, the only people he doesn't kill with or without the influence of Nihiru are his family. In this version, he decides not to kill his sister since she is the only family he has left and folds one last paper crane for her before setting off to retrieve it.
  • Sanity Slippage: Wielding Nihiru has driven him to madness thanks to his need to satisfy the sword's bloodlust. Even after Hyakkimaru temporarily frees him from the sword's influence by disarming him, he still wants to wield it instead of reconciling with his sister and going back home with her.
  • Used to Be a Sweet Kid: He used to be a kind and caring man who looked out for his sister before he was called off to war. Once he received Nihiru, though...

Edited by bf2234 on Aug 10th 2022 at 11:45:17 AM

kawaiineko333 (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#19519: Aug 7th 2022 at 8:44:56 PM

Max0r

  • Oh, Crap!: In "Elden Ring Part 2," Elden John has a moment when he teleports into the wrong room after finishing up a job for the Volcano Manor.
    Elden John: I think we might be the bad guys. Just kidding, I don't think. (he snaps his fingers to teleport, only to find himself in Malenia's room) Oh shit, wrong door.

Clare Since: Aug, 2009
#19520: Aug 8th 2022 at 4:39:26 AM

@ Melinda

Zombie Apocalypse Hero

  • Black Tide Rising: The main protagonists are a history professor and his thirteen-year-old Waif-Fu-happy daughter. Among the tougher and more successful protagonists of the tie-in short stories are a paraplegic (remove comma) septuagenarian Friendly Sniper, a cheerleading coach, a bunch of gamers, a selectman on a Maine island, a family of moonshiners, and a farming community (plus refugees who include a Gun Nut stockbroker) that has a pack of zombie-killing guard dogs and ultimately goes on a Construction Vehicle Rampage.

  • World War Z: The book's anthology format and use of many diplomats and soldiers as POV characters keeps this trope from showing up too much, (comma) but there are a few instances.

    • Blind gardener Tomonoga Ijiro retreats into the wilderness during the outbreak, but he takes a sword with him and proceeds to decapitate every zombie he encounters. (period) He later helps with the rebuilding of Japan.

    • Suburbanite Mary Jo Miller kills a zombie with her bare hands while defending her daughter and becomes the architect and mayor of a village designed to be inaccessible to zombies.

    • A few of Todd Waino's squadmates during the march upcountry fought zombies before joining the military, including a professional wrestler who used a zombie's corpse as a club (remove comma) and a nun who defended her Sunday school class with a candlestick.
^ The use of the phrase "were this" is a Zero-Context Example as it tells the reader nothing about what these people "were". Therefore, I changed "were this" to "fought zombies" to better reflect what the Zombie Apocalypse Hero trope is about.

  • Roy Elliot makes a propaganda film chronicling how three hundred college students armed with nothing but landscaping tools and ROTC practice rifles (superfluous words - cut) hold out against ten thousand zombies, (comma) without any outside help.
^ If there are three hundred students, they're not "single handed", so I removed that and added "without any outside help" at the end. Also, the way you wrote it makes it sound like the zombies are the ones "with nothing but landscaping tools and ROTC practice rifles." I moved that to earlier in the sentence and inserted "armed" between "students" and "with".

Sir Henry Merrivale

  • Curse of the Pharaoh: In The Curse of the Bronze Lamp, an archaeologist dies from a scorpion sting soon after unearthing a tomb. Two of his colleagues vanish soon after a prophet curses them. They're faking their disappearances and plan to publicly reappear to discredit the supernatural hysteria behind the "curse". One of them is nearly murdered for real by an Opportunistic Bastard, (comma) but turns out to have been only been Left for Dead.

  • Get Out!: In The Curse of the Bronze Lamp, John Loring (remove comma) survives a murder attempt at the hands of a trusted colleague who was stealing from him, then confronts the crook in his home after Fell makes a long summation while letting the villain think the murder was successful largely to make him have a Villainous Breakdown about being hanged. John says that he won't press charges, (comma) but tells his formerly trusted friend to "get out", saying this three times in a row for emphasis.

Get Out!

  • Fuzzy Nation: Near the end of the book, the Mega-Corp personal have to vacate the planet due to its native species being recognized as sapient and are given three months to (superfluous word - cut) shut everything down and ship out anyone who doesn't wish to quit and work for the new government. The two main executives and The Dragon are also made to leave at the very beginning of that period, especially The Dragon due to the harm he's inflicted on Papa Fuzzy's family.

Toy Soldiers

  • Badass Bookworm: Joey dutifully does his own homework as well as Billy's and is a skilled sketch artist, but he's also quick to argue in favor of fighting back against the terrorists (albeit in a Leeroy Jenkins way) and does eventually overpower one terrorist and take his gun away.

  • Reasonable Authority Figure:

    • Dean Parker and the headmaster impose discipline where it's necessary, (comma) but don't go for the maximum punishment and want to help their students rather than push them away. They also work hard to keep them calm and safe during the hostage standoff.

    • Deputy Director Brown is respectful to Kramer, Parker, and the local cops, strives to avoid unnecessary bloodshed through negotiation as well as planning the commando raid, and only argues against relying on Billy for the understandable reason that Billy is an inexperienced kid.

Edited by Clare on Aug 8th 2022 at 2:51:12 PM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19521: Aug 8th 2022 at 7:03:29 AM

[up] @fishysaur

Buggy doesn't treat his subordinates well, and...

...train himself up. <- period However, since...and challenges the Marine itself by...

^ The first sentence was a run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice.

^ "...challenges the Marine itself..." - What is "the Marine"?

Buggy is so greedy and materialistic that he's perplexed by Boodle, <- comma who considers...

Buggy's detached body parts float, so he...he detaches it...

^ It's "detach", not "detatch".

...their nutrients sucked out by...emaciated husks, <- comma unable...

^ Did you mean "nutrients" (as in food value), or "bodily fluids"?

...her nutrients sucked out by...she doesn't return...self, <- comma but...

^ See above.

...awareness of her ugliness since...

Shinobu has her nutrients sucked out by...she inexplicably becomes...like she usually...

^ See above.

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19522: Aug 8th 2022 at 7:24:33 AM

[up] @Melinda

The mortician turns out to be an alien and flees the planet, <- comma while...

...soldiers as POV characters...too much, <- comma but...

...against ten thousand zombies <- no comma without any outside help.

^ The comma that was added here is unnecessary.

Some fanfiction has the point...Karen does forms an...

...while letting the villain think the murder was successful, <- comma largely...

Jamie tells him that Aerys may have planned some horrible execution for Ethan at one point, <- comma but...

...and does eventually overpowers one hostage-taker and takes his gun away.

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19523: Aug 8th 2022 at 7:27:15 AM

[up] @dudeu

Mrs. Meers is the show's main villain, <- comma who runs a white slavery ring and sings in the alto range.

You could also write this as:

  • Mrs. Meers, the show's main villain, runs a white slavery ring and sings in the alto range.
  • Mrs. Meers is the show's main villain. She runs a white slavery ring and sings in the alto range.

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19524: Aug 8th 2022 at 7:42:08 AM

[up] @Braz

...that is set in Liberty's World before she ended up on Stella's World.

^ Who is the "she" mentioned above? Someone named "Liberty"? If Liberty's World and Stella's World aren't the names of planets, the "World" parts of them shouldn't be capitalized.

^ I assume that "she" ended up on Stella's World (i.e. on its surface) rather than in it (underground).

After Lincoln went missing, Liberty Leal goes to the sewers...

^ So Liberty is a person. "Liberty's World" -> "Liberty's world" above.

...takes place in this setting. <- period Liberty...secrets of the place by reading through logs.

^ What setting? This is a Partial-Context Example because you didn't specifically say what setting the story takes place in.

^ This was a run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice.

This Prequel takes place in a...one in which Star...place. <- period It is always raining in Royal Woods in this world...

^ Another run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice.

...sister called Luna...of their parents...failure of a sister now.

...wear raincoats due...Woods. <- period They keep wearing them during...

^ This is another run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice and another Partial-Context Example because you didn't specifically say what they were wearing.

Edited by Arivne on Aug 8th 2022 at 7:49:15 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#19525: Aug 8th 2022 at 8:00:03 AM

[up] @Chris X

Streibough is also this to Huey Trumbull...or sabotaging their relationship: <- colon He is...lost Alethea to Oersted in their Love Triangle...to make her love him...both of Streibough and Alethea dead, <- comma while...

^ "is also this" violates Word Cruft - This Example Is an Example.

^ The second sentence is a a run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice. The comma should be replaced by either a colon or a period.


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