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This thread is for tropers who have trouble with English and would like some help with the crazy grammar of this crazy language.

Write down what you wish to edit on the wiki. If you have been suspended from editing, another troper might be kind enough to edit for you after your suggestions have been corrected.

The thread is for help and feedback on your own suggested edits.

If you want help correcting other people's edits (e.g., if you find a page which seems to have grammar problems but want a second opinion, or you don't feel able to fix it by yourself) then that's off-topic here, but we have a separate Grammar Police cleanup thread that can provide assistance.

Edited by Mrph1 on Nov 16th 2023 at 5:37:57 PM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#10601: Mar 29th 2021 at 7:21:41 PM

All posts on page 424 @Melinda

Does Killer Frost freeze her fellow mutineers in "Alive" <- no comma as a...

...(who has two teenaged kids) is protective of his rookie partner, <- comma even...

...comatose Peter and finds out they aren't engaged, <- comma but...

Superman's response is a CMOH as well: he refuses to leave J'onn behind...

...company - along with massive punitive damages - in revenge...accomplished, they vow to take...

...high power level, <- comma but just disappears from the plot well before the halfway point.

Edited by Arivne on Mar 29th 2021 at 7:24:18 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#10602: Mar 29th 2021 at 7:25:20 PM

From page 424 @Sugar Butterfly 432

As in the canon series, Ash was the Chosen One and had help saving the world countless times before his untimely death.

Edited by Arivne on Mar 29th 2021 at 7:25:30 AM

SugarButterfly432 Since: May, 2019 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
#10603: Mar 29th 2021 at 8:02:18 PM

Pokémon: Roses of the Garden

The side story, Pokémon: Colors of the Roses, is also in the writing progress. You can read it here and the A03 link here.

Minorica Rhythm Heroine from Earth Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
Rhythm Heroine
#10604: Mar 29th 2021 at 8:04:47 PM

For Eye Scream Live Action TV:

For Organ Drops Action RPG:

  • Genshin Impact: When you kill boars, foxes, squirrels and and any kind of bird, they'll faint and immediately drop meat and fowl, both of which are food materials.
For Mauve Shirt Video Games:
  • MGCM: The Dark World Alternate Self of Lilly in Chapter 1 of the 2nd Arc serves as an important minor character that Tobio and the main universe heroines develop bonds with. Sadly, after a difficult fight against the Drake demon in Chapter 2 to Chapter 4 of the 2nd Arc, she's fatally wounded and dies dramatically because it's too late to heal her and the magical girls have healing abilities that are still in cooldown, although they manage to defeat Drake before that. While the Dark World version of Omnis seems to disintegrate into black liquid and her Executor went missing, it is possible his new Remote Body will be created by the Dark World version of Kamisaman and the alternate version of Lilly can still be revived by her Executor using his Reality Warping ability.

For Demon King Nobunaga Video Games:

  • Although there's no actual Oda Nobunaga in the game, MGCM has its own dress series "Dairoku Tenmaoh/Demon King of Sixth Heaven" for Eliza and Seira, which resembles the female expy of Oda Nobunaga, complete with an oni face shaped shoulder armor plate and firearms (reference to Oda Nobunaga's revolutionizing the ways Japanese armies used firearms).

Edited by Minorica on Mar 31st 2021 at 1:11:09 AM

"No matter how bad the heroes can get or how bad the situation is, we're sure we can overcome it and get our happy endings..."
Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#10605: Mar 29th 2021 at 8:58:29 PM

@ From a Buick 8

  • One-Steve Limit: There are two cops named George at the station, George Stankowski and George Morgan.
@ Scooby-Doo and Guess Who?
  • In "The High School Wolfman's Musical Lament" a jealous former classmate of Creator/Slater sings about how Christian is a star while he's living out of his car. The camera then cuts to the aforementioned car, which is missing a tire and has a broken window. And then a door falls off.
@ Psych
  • In "Weekend Warriors." Shawn and Gus confront the killer, who pulls a gun on them. At this point, over a dozen armed Civil War reenactors who Shawn and Gus brought with them show themselves, forcing the killer to surrender.

Edited by Melinda on Mar 30th 2021 at 11:11:14 AM

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#10606: Mar 30th 2021 at 5:50:07 AM

@ Snowpiercer (2020): First

  • You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Despite relying on her loyalty to undermine Layton's regime, Wilford doesn't hesitate to execute Eugenia for the murders she committed on his behalf for PR.
@ Patrick McManus
  • Chekhov's Gun: In the mystery novel Avalanche, Grady the lodge handyman chews sunflower seeds to help himself stop smoking. Some of those seeds are later found at a crime scene with his DNA on them.

Edited by Melinda on Mar 30th 2021 at 11:13:27 AM

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#10607: Mar 30th 2021 at 8:35:23 AM

@ Jojo Rabbit

Edited by Melinda on Mar 30th 2021 at 11:13:38 AM

MichaelKatsuro Since: Apr, 2011
#10608: Mar 30th 2021 at 8:36:18 AM

[up] Melinda: Good entries, those.

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#10609: Mar 30th 2021 at 8:46:44 AM

[up] x 6 @Sugar Butterfly 432

The side story <- no comma Pokémon: Colors of the Roses <- no comma is...writing process.

^ I assume this is what you meant.

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#10610: Mar 30th 2021 at 9:04:45 AM

[up] x 6 @Minorica

In one episode, Sabrina throws her high heel shoe when she fights with another girl. <- period She misses, <- comma and instead its stiletto heel stabs Mickey's first boyfriend in one of his eyes. And Then Ben, while watching movies that aren't child-friendly (such as A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, etc.) <- parentheses pulls the high heel out of her boyfriend's eye and blood bursts out of the eye.

^ The first sentence is a run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice.

...and any kind of bird, they'll...both of which are food materials.

...Chapter 1 of the 2nd Arc...develop their bonds with her...demon in from Chapter 2 to Chapter 4 of the 2nd Arc, she's...dramatically after that because it's already too ...and the magical girls...To rub salt in the wound, Lilly's alternate self had once asked Omnis...seems to disintegrate into...of Lilly can still be...Executor by using...

^ This is a Wall of Text example. As per How to Write an Example - Keep It Brief, it should have all unnecessary wording deleted and any essential wording condensed.

Edited by Arivne on Mar 30th 2021 at 9:06:26 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#10611: Mar 30th 2021 at 9:12:50 AM

[up] x 6, 5, 4 @Melinda

...classmate of Christian Slater sings...which is missing a tire <- no comma and has...

In "Weekend Warriors". <- period Shawn and Gus confront the killer, who...

...doesn't hesitate to execute Eugenia for the murders she committed...

^ I assume you meant "execute".

Edited by Arivne on Mar 30th 2021 at 9:16:51 AM

ElJuaco Since: Aug, 2019
#10612: Mar 30th 2021 at 9:38:38 AM

Hi guys. It's me once again. Let's have another try.

For a potential Headscratchers page of La rosa de Guadalupe. Here's one for the episode "Un Momento de Vida":

  • Why do some of the students randomly start to throw paper balls at Rosaura and her friends when Rosaura loudly interrupts the class to announce Justin Bieber's upcoming concert in Monterrey? And why doesn't the teacher punish thouse students for doing so?
  • If Rosaura and Lolita posted on social media that they were offering their virginity for tickets for the concert, why did it take so long for Lolita's mother to become aware of this? She just became aware when Doña Juana told her, but why none relatives or friends of her daughter warned her beforehand?
  • Why is Lolita's mother so sure that Lolita could have been ran over during the rally to demand another date for the concert if the rally took place in a closed space? There were no vehicles nearby.
  • Why was not Rosaura able to deduce that Manolo's ticket was a fake? First of all, Manolo was never interested on attending the concert and secondly, she should have deduced on her own that the ticket wasn't real because it was made of paper and she had previously touched Fátima's ticket. By the way, why does the employee at the ticket office bother to check the ticket if it's clearly made of paper?
  • Why does Fátima has her ticket at school? Yeah, she brought it the first time to show her friends that she already had hers, but why she would still have it when Rosaura comes with her own ticket to compare them and tell her that her ticket is a fake? Shouldn't she have left it at home instead of bringing it to school and riskying to lose it?

MichaelKatsuro Since: Apr, 2011
#10613: Mar 30th 2021 at 9:46:50 AM

El Juaco:

  • Why do some of the students randomly start to throw paper balls at Rosaura and her friends when Rosaura loudly interrupts class to announce Justin Bieber's upcoming concert in Monterrey? [Because she's interrupting class to talk about a teen idol.] And why doesn't the teacher punish those students for doing so?
  • If Rosaura and Lolita posted on social media that they were offering their virginity for tickets for the concert, why did it take so long for Lolita's mother to become aware of this? She only became aware when Dona Juana told her, but why did no relatives or friends of her daughter warn' her beforehand? [Maybe they just didn't see it? That kind of thing happens. Not really a plot hole.]
Why is Lolita's mother so sure that Lolita could have been run over during the rally to demand another date for the concert if the rally took place in a closed space? There were no vehicles nearby.
  • Why wasn't ["was not" is too formal] Rosaura able to deduce that Manolo's ticket was a fake? First of all, Manolo was never interested in attending the concert and secondly, she should have deduced on her own that the ticket wasn't real because it was made of paper and she had previously touched Fátima's ticket. By the way, why does the employee at the ticket office bother to check the ticket if it's clearly made of paper? [This one confuses me; what were the real tickets made of?]
  • Why does Fátima have her ticket at school? Yeah, she brought it the first time to show her friends that she already had hers, but why she would still have it when Rosaura comes with her own ticket to compare them and tell her that her ticket is a fake? Shouldn't she have left it at home instead of bringing it to school and risking losing it?

Again, don't say "why she would still have it". Say "why would she still have it". You gotta be more careful about word order.

Edited by MichaelKatsuro on Mar 30th 2021 at 9:47:13 AM

ElJuaco Since: Aug, 2019
#10614: Mar 30th 2021 at 11:04:50 AM

Hi guys. It's me once again. Let's have another try.

For a potential Headscratchers page of La rosa de Guadalupe. Here's one for the episode "Te va a salir el Payaso":

  • If Erwin's philosophy teacher suspected him of flattening his car's tires, why didn't he ask the school to send a security guard to watch over his car so he could report him if Erwin tried to do the same again, which Erwin later does?
  • Why doesn't Noé tell his parents that Erwin and his friends assaulted him after escaping from Erwin? His parents would have informed Erwin's mother about this and Erwin could have been punished much early.
  • What exactly happened to the old woman that Erwin and his friends scared dressed as clowns? She gets so scared that falls to the floor and stops moving, but the next day, Erwin and his friends are laughing at the video and mention that she didn't die, but that was seemingly implied when they scared her? So what exactly happened and why the woman didn't die from the scare?

SebastianGray (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#10615: Mar 30th 2021 at 11:21:29 AM

Here are some examples I would like some advice on if anyone has the time.

A rewrite to an example on Characters.Buso Renkin:

  • Badass Mustache: Dr. Butterfly is the most powerful of the L.X.E. homunculi, and his moth-shaped moustache gives him an air of authority while sticking to his Animal Motif. When he is killed, his moustache is also the last part of him to dissolve.

An addition to Characters.Necromunda:

  • Appropriated Appellation: Many within the hives of Necromunda believe that House Goliath's moniker, the House of Chains, was originally an insult coined by House Escher as a reminder of the House's origin as a Slave Race. The House have since made this name their own, proud of the fact that they were able to win their freedom through their own strength.

A rewrite of a borderline zero context example on Characters.Warhammer Age Of Sigmar Grand Alliance Chaos:

  • Breath Weapon: Wrath of Khorne Bloodthirsters have been granted the ability to breathe a roaring blast of fiercely hot hellfire that can reduce all but the toughest enemies to charred remains by doing multiple mortal wounds for each hit.

A rewrite of an example on Characters.Warhammer 40000 Necrons:

  • Wolverine Claws: One of the most obvious changes that the Flayer’s curse inflicts upon a Necron is that their fingers slowly extend into long, scalpel-sharp claws that allow them to easily rip apart their pray.

Thanks in advance

SugarButterfly432 Since: May, 2019 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
#10616: Mar 30th 2021 at 12:15:58 PM

Pokémon: Roses of the Garden

  • Cool Big Bro: Keldeo acts like an older brother towards Alma and often plays with her. Alma herself even calls him "Big Brother Keldeo".

MichaelKatsuro Since: Apr, 2011
#10617: Mar 30th 2021 at 1:11:52 PM

[up] That one's perfect the way it is.

SugarButterfly432 Since: May, 2019 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
#10618: Mar 30th 2021 at 1:56:38 PM

Pokémon: Roses of the Garden

  • Home of the Gods: The Hall of Origin is where the Legendary and Mythical Pokémon all live most of the time. They still go to the Human World to preform their duties.

MichaelKatsuro Since: Apr, 2011
#10619: Mar 30th 2021 at 2:08:46 PM

[up] perform their duties.

Edited by MichaelKatsuro on Mar 30th 2021 at 2:08:53 AM

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#10620: Mar 30th 2021 at 2:53:34 PM

@ Bones

  • One-Scene Wonder:
    • The kid going hunting with his dad in "The Carpal in the Coy-Wolves" is pretty memorable. He'd rather be watching Project Runway than hunting with his dad, yet is more composed than his dad when they find the body of the Victim of the Week.
    • The characters from the first five minutes of "The New Tricks in the Old Dogs" are felt to be more memorable than many of the suspects from the mystery itself. First, there's the kids who discover the body while exposing toxic waste dumping and making a very long black snake firework. Then there's the Amoral Attorney who haughtily denies that the chemicals are dangerous, only to freak out and demand to be sprayed with decontamination foam (the team happily obliges) when he mistakenly thinks those chemicals have splashed on him.

@ Psych

  • Shawn and Gus pose as visiting foreign scientists at a zoo, and Gus gets drafted into helping a warthog give birth. He tries to refuse by making nonsense sounds in the language he supposedly speaks (and which the zoo director doesn't). Shawn "mistranslates" by saying that of course Gus will do it, which is followed by a Gilligan Cut of Gus throwing up after the delivery.
  • Shawn and Gus manage to avoid getting in trouble for trespassing on forest land by posing as lost hikers, with Shawn telling the ranger that Gus screamed like a little girl.
  • In one opening flashback, a young Shawn refuses to put back one of the two candy bars he picked up in a store, saying that would indicate he prefers one candy bar over the other, and he refuses to play favorites.
@ Psych
  • In the opening flashback of "Forget Me Not," Henry's boss Captain Connors is a lot nicer to Shawn than Henry is, believing Shawn's claims that he didn't throw a tennis ball into an animal cage. He also seems appreciative when he realizes Shawn is covering for Connors' daughter due to feeling partially responsible for what happened. In the present, Shawn is quick to return the favor by believing Connors' claim to have solved a murder when no one else does.

Edited by Melinda on Mar 31st 2021 at 9:28:53 AM

SugarButterfly432 Since: May, 2019 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
#10621: Mar 30th 2021 at 3:46:04 PM

Pokémon: Roses of the Garden

Ash Ketchum

  • The Ace: In his life, he was the Pokémon Master, saved the world countless times, battle in the Pokémon Leagues, and had manage to befriended the Legendary and Mythical Pokémon in his childhood.
  • Nice Guy: Just like in the canon series, Ash was pretty much a friendly guy towards both humans and Pokémon. In Chapter 1 of Pokémon: Colors of the Roses, he welcomed both Mew and Mewtwo in his home after the two Pokémon were attacked by hunters and heal their injuries.

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#10622: Mar 30th 2021 at 6:32:13 PM

@ Justice League

  • Crimson Avenger asks an elderly suburbanite if he's seen a pig, and he yells out to his wife that it's for her.

Edited by Melinda on Mar 30th 2021 at 6:57:32 AM

MichaelKatsuro Since: Apr, 2011
#10623: Mar 30th 2021 at 6:40:01 PM

[up] That one's fine the way it is.

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#10624: Mar 30th 2021 at 6:57:16 PM

Thanks.

@ Justice League

  • Several tanks are seen driving backward while firing at the robot to cover evacuating civilians.
  • The Reveal of the Crazy-Prepared Elaborate Underground Base Luthor flees to when he hears Amazo is coming for him, complete with Kryptonite-lined tunnels.
  • While the real awesome moment belongs to Amazo's Offhand Backhand defeat of pretty much the entire Justice League, some of their attempts to stop him are pretty cool. Special mention goes to the attempt in space (the fire of a few dozen javelins, combined with Superman's heat vision, the lasers of Orion and Stripe, Dr. Light's energy bars, and Green Lantern's power ring). Another highlight is Rocket Red unleashing missiles and a shoulder-mounted Gatling gun he uses while being smart enough to fly backward away from Amazo as he shoots.

Edited by Melinda on Mar 31st 2021 at 9:31:52 AM

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#10625: Mar 30th 2021 at 9:00:26 PM

@ Justice League

  • Flash tells the other Justice League members that the Justice Lords went rogue because they lost the Flash from their universe, so as long as everyone focuses on keeping him alive, things should be fine.
@ Justice League Cadmus
  • Bait the Dog: Eiling's first appearance has him acting as a Frontline General who is willing to gracefully accept the Justice League's help to evacuate civilians and hold off a threat against his men. While he expresses frustration at finding out the League has a secret Kill Sat they never told anyone about, he voices relatively polite and reasonable reasons for this feeling. Then, at the end of the episode, Eiling takes custody of a dangerous alien weapon that he should really know better than to tinker with. His next appearance has him embracing the General Ripper and Fantastic Racism tropes.

Edited by Melinda on Mar 31st 2021 at 9:33:41 AM


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