Get Help With English Here

From page 382 @Casual Chris

First, the English corrections.

Stage 4 in Ghouls 'n Ghosts is a direct cause of this. The fourth boss is a giant worm that also functions as a platform, and the only way to kill it is by destroying the five "wounds" located around its body. However, they can only be reached by throwing projectiles, so if you reach the boss while only possessing the sword, the game's sole melee weapon, it becomes impossible to defeat, since its range isn't long enough to hit the "wounds", and the smaller worms it constantly spawns can't drop weapons. This is merely just an annoyance in most versions, since being killed by the boss puts you back at the stage's halfway point where a different weapon can easily be acquired from a chest or an enemy, but it's a complete death sentence in the Genesis/Mega Drive port, since being killed by a boss will put you right back at the boss, stalling all progress and rendering the entire game unfinishable.

I would boil the above down by deleting all unnecessary wordage.

In Stage 4 of Ghouls 'n Ghosts, the boss is a giant worm which can only be killed by throwing projectiles. If you reach this boss while only carrying a sword (a melee weapon), you can't kill it because the sword's range is too short. In most versions this is only an annoyance, because being killed causes you to respawn in a location where you can obtain a ranged weapon. In the Genesis/Mega Drive port version, however, being killed by a boss puts you back at the boss. Since you can't obtain a ranged weapon, the game becomes unwinnable.

Edited by Arivne on Jan 26th 2021 at 1:17:14 AM

From page 382 @Stardust 120

Changed verbs from past to present tense as per How to Write an Example - Write in Historical Present Tense.

Nash still hates Kanata after what happened to his sister, but then he overhears Forte and Assid's plan to make Sonia, who is currently fused with an Enforcer EX, to self-destruct and destroy the entire population of Yednark while framing Kanata as the cause. Nash looks disturbed and horrified at the thought of using Sonia to kill the people of Yednark killed just to get his revenge on Kanata. It is clear that Nash doesn't want anyone to be killed, <- comma and that is why he tells Sonia the truth about her father's actions and tries to reason with her.

Consumed with hatred of Kanata and after finding out who he is, she is willing to be fused with an Exforcer EX in order to exact her revenge on him.

Forte and Assid manipulate Sonia to use her to be the vessel of and fuse with the Enforcer EX. <- period They do this to sacrifice her in order to destroy the entire population of Yednark and frame Kanata for it. They even encourage Kanata to kill his sister in order to save Yednark, but doing so would even ruin Kanata's reputation further as the worst transgressor in history.

Sonia clearly wants to kill Kanata in revenge for his killing her father, Cody.

Edited by Arivne on Jan 26th 2021 at 1:31:47 AM

From page 382 @jahman

The exploits they commit during this arc mark the Straw Hat Pirates' transition from a mere unknown band of misfits to a pirate crew so world-renowned that neither the World Government nor other pirates can ignore their existence any longer, and this is just the beginning.

From page 382 @Dark Paladin X

Their cavalry unique unit, Coustillier, <- comma can slowly build up its own attack by moving, and can unleash its charged attack on a single target before losing its charge.

The civilization combines aspects of the historical region the Duchy of Burgundy and a region of Holland based <- no parentheses on the Burgundian Netherlands. <- no parentheses

The Burgundians are considered to be one of the most difficult civilizations to play...

This means that in order...such as an Arbalester or Halberdier), <- comma which can...

...the Burgundians' unique...sword technologies, <- comma as the...while the latter converts...These technologies can either greatly help the player <- no comma or can hurt the...technologies are based on several...convert one resource into another, <- comma while...

Finally, The Burgundians are...they miss out on the Bloodlines technology, which is...(particularly civilizations with ...proper micromanagement of their Paladins and Coustilliers.

^ Deleted "Finally" as per How to Write an Example - Don't Refer to Other Items on the Page and Word Cruft - Positional comparatives.

...straightforward technology tree, <- comma and synergistic civilization bonuses and unique technologies, the Burgundians fall into the Difficult, but Awesome category since they miss out on Bloodlines (see Necessary Drawback), and two...While the Franks' infantry is...

^ Deleted "(see Necessary Drawback)" as per How to Write an Example - Don't Refer to Other Items on the Page and Word Cruft - Positional comparatives.

The Burgundians can research their economic upgrades an age earlier <- no comma and can...

...for their cavalry units that would make their cavalry units more durable.

To balance out their land units absorbing 50% bonus damage, the Silicians miss out on key...

Edited by Arivne on Jan 26th 2021 at 1:53:34 AM

From page 382 @Melinda

• Jossed. The chapter is a series of vignettes about individuals who suffered during the rebellion, although there is a description of a peacekeeper prisoner being tortured to death.
• Jossed. There is a western-style climax (which the narration compares to a cavalry charge), <- comma but the ranchers side with the rebels. The only rebel identified by name in the chapter is Bovina.

^ These should be merged together:

• Jossed
  • The chapter is a series of vignettes about individuals who suffered during the rebellion, although there is a description of a peacekeeper prisoner being tortured to death.
  • There is a western-style climax (which the narration compares to a cavalry charge), <- comma but the ranchers side with the rebels. The only rebel identified by name in the chapter is Bovina.

There's also some debate about whether Winckle criticizes the concept of a credit card due to ethical...

One Piece:

This is for the Paramount War Saga Marineford Arc slot under the section which describes Luffy unknowingly unleashes his Conquerer's Haki.

• English dub: ''DON'T YOU DARE!!!!!''

Edited by jahman on Jan 26th 2021 at 9:31:32 AM

Grow

• Bizarre Alien Biology: Most creatures in the Grow games works in strange ways because of the games working on toon physics and the creator putting emphasis on creativity. In general, the way a creature works depends of the game and pretty much every creatures can transform in strange ways by interacting with an object or being in a specific place, but there are examples that are consistently weird.
  • The Onkies have no faces yet they can see and eat just fine, they can even lose their head without dying and when they get exhausted, they melt as if they were made of wax. They can also be of differents color which either indicates their gender, age or expertise depending of the game and they sometime have the ability to self-duplicate.
  • The Tonties are cyclops with horns that lives underground in colonies like ants, their colors and number of horns indicate their roles and their queen is a big white Tontie head with no body. One way for a white Tontie to become a queen is to have a crown fall on them which crush their body under the weight of the crown and their own head which also somehow gets bigger as the body is squished. Also, a different creature may turn into a white Tontie simply by falling into a spike, a big eye then appears on the creature whose original face somehow disappear and the spike become the newly-created Tontie's horn.
  • The Rotta/Pierre is a creature that changes completely depending if it's day time or night time. In it's "Rotta" form during the day, it's a blob monster that can shape-shift, it's "Pierre" form during the night is a round bat-like creature that split in two if it's tapped by a hammer and a Onky comes out of it. Gluing the halfs back brings back the Pierre to life but changes its colors.

Edited by jOSEFdelaville on Jan 26th 2021 at 9:51:53 PM

Twisted Wonderland Characters

• Fan Boy: After performance at VDC festival, it is reveal that Rook is actually a big fan of Neige and the second member of his fan club Eternal Snow. Rook greatly admires Neige so much that he voted for Neige instead of voting for Vil to win the VDC festival.
• Uncertain Doom: After Yuu gets serious hurt by Grim and black out from their injuries, it is unknown if their wounds they receive is fatal or they survive from it.

• Fear of Thunder: Yuna is terrify of thunder and lightning and she can't stand the sound of it.
• Five Stages of Grief: In Chapter, Sonia tries to handle her emotions after her father's death.
  • Denial: Despite of Kanata and Nash told her the truth about her father's true colors, she's in denial and she refuses to believe her father was a horrible person.
  • Anger: Sonia's hatred for Kanta is so great, she is willing get fused with Enforcer EX in order to extract her revenge on Kanata. She probably didn't care she sacrifice her own life and destroy the entire population of Yednark in order to kill him.
  • Depression: Sonia's love for father so great, she deeply miss him and says her father was her light. This is one of the reasons why she is willing to give up her life and get herself kill in order to kill Kanata. It implies she wants to join her father in the afterlife in order to be with him.
• Wouldn't Hurt a Child: Downplayed and played straight:
  • Kanata fight Makina, who looks like a child since she's pure evil and not human.
  • Kanata doesn't hurt or kill children. When Forte and Assid encourage Kanata to kill his sister Sonia, a child, in order to save Yednark, he refuses to kill her because not only she is his only relative left, but it felt wrong to end someone life without living to the fullest.

Edited by Stardust120 on Jan 26th 2021 at 8:28:35 AM

Ratchet & Clank: Villains:

Emperor Tachyon:

• Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Long story short, had Tachyon just left Ratchet and Clank alone from the start, he ultimately wouldn't be falling into a black hole in another dimension, now would he?

jahman: Your two entries about Luffy before and after are almost identical. You've basically written the same text twice.

Let me see if I can fix that then.

Edit: There, how's that?

Edited by jahman on Jan 26th 2021 at 9:06:23 AM

A few changes: "Prior to the timeskip, he's a heroic pirate, with the kindness of a saint and the strength of an ox, yet he's dumb as a rock. After the timeskip, however, he is notably leaps and bounds more composed than at the beginning of the story. He now prefers to state what he'll be doing and go through with it rather than just scream and shout (except when he's really riled up). More importantly, he is actually a respectable and capable leader now, listening to his crewmates but never letting himself be questioned (save for in comedic moments) as Captain. All in all, he's gone from a heroic pirate, to... well, a heroic pirate captain. While he's still definitely as Luffy as before, the events he endured during the entire Paramount War saga and the story with Rayleigh have beaten some serious growth into him. As if to enforce this, when Big Mom's ship arrives to capture Caesar, Luffy immediately inquires whether or not Big Mom is on the ship in order to make his next decision of whether or not to allow the Straw Hats at sea to fight."

Actually, I just replaced it with something simple. Saving it for later. Feel free to delete your post describing your changes.

One Piece: Tropes C to D

• "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot: In order to reach Skypeia, the Straw Hats had to track down and ride this massive geyser that can shoot whole islands into the sky. After getting to the White Sea, Ganfor tells them that there are other ways to reach the Sky Islands, and is stunned that the Straw Hats rode the Knock-Up Stream, as it's an All-Or-Nothing shot. Nami goes ballistic on Luffy at the idea that there were safer ways of reaching Skypeia.

Add: Subverted as Ganfor goes on to explain that those safer ways are for crews who don't value their members' lives as the Straw Hats do since they guaranteed to lose people along the way. By taking the Knock-Up Stream, the Straw Hats prove themselves to be an exceptional crew, earning Ganfor's respect and eventually his aid.

Edited by jahman on Jan 27th 2021 at 3:04:11 AM

Here's one I'd like to add for Surprisingly Similar Characters:

• An innocent girl is brainwashed into being an evil psycho, and eventually becomes the self proclaimed monarch of evil, but is eventually redeemed. Is this Astronema or Sarah Kerrigan?

Edited by Bootlebat on Jan 26th 2021 at 12:27:34 PM

Okay. It's me, here again. Let's have another try.

Some Headscratchers for The Dark Knight Returns:

• Why didn't the Mayor accept any kind of security while negoatiating with the Mutant Leader? The guy had already killed many people, beaten out Batman and of course was a deranged psychopath!
• Where are Bruno's nipples? You can see a pair of swastikas on her breasts, but there are no nipples...
• Really, who the heck in Gotham City thinks that going to a live interview featuring the Joker was a good idea to begin with? All Gothamites perfectly know that the Joker is an insane and deranged lunatic who has murdered millions of people throughout his career and just go to David Endochrine's late night show to see him just because Dr. Bartholomew Wolper said that "he had reformed"? Are many Gothamites that stupid or why?
• Is Dr. Bartholomew Wolper an idiot or what? Why does he say that Batman created the members of his rogues gallery if as far anyone can recall, unless you count The Killing Joke as canon, Batman never caused any of his villains' misfortunes. The Riddler turned to crime just because he was bored, Killer Croc had a bad childhood, the Scarecrow grew obsessed with fear because enduring bullying and mistreatment, etc. Common, even Harvey Dent turned evil because Sal Maroni threw acid on his face and Batman didn't have any fault there!
• How exactly does Batman to break the Joker's neck in a way that it paralyzes him but doesn't kill him?
• Why does Oliver Queen treat Bruce Wayne as a friend if the mainstream comic books always featured them as not getting along with each other?

And a Headscratcher for The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge:

• While fighting Oogie at the end, Jack assures Oogie that his scheme is over and that his next stop will be jail, which means he intends to have him thrown in prison for his actions. In the end, however, Jack kills Oogie once more. Why did he warn him that he would have him locked away if he wasn't going to do so? In fact, assuming that Oogie can still return through the surviving bugs, arresting him would have been a better way to restrain him and prevent him from potentially returning...

Not a grammar question but would this be considered natter: on Orphaned Etymology, under the bit about Hell being mentioned in The Empire Strikes Back I was thinking of adding:

• This actually was explained in Star Wars Legends: There is a bad afterlife location named "Chaos" (and called "Hell" in Corellian mythology, hence Han knowing about it) where Sith Lords and other bad people go when they die. As the new canon hasn't brought up Chaos yet, it remains to be seen if this is still the explanation.

If it is natter, what would be a better way to impart the information?

Edited by Bootlebat on Jan 26th 2021 at 7:23:29 AM

Second level bullets should be avoided if there isn't more than one example and a header.

Not sure how you could integrate it into the first bullet ATM, though...

Edited by SkyCat32 on Jan 26th 2021 at 10:30:22 AM

Pokemon S 7 E 38 Cruisin For A Losin:

• You Remind Me of X: A downplayed example. Though it isn't directly stated, given how May acts really arrogant with her win streak and glorifies the two ribbons she has won so far, people who pay attention may be reminded of the same thing happening to Ash back in his Indigo League days when he was starting out. This is probably why Ash is surprisingly calm with May even after she starts yelling at him, as her current behavior in this episode probably reminded him of himself back in his earlier days as a trainer.

Add: There's also how he lost to Brawly the first time, along with getting Treckko really hurt in the process, in Brave the Wave because of his arrogance, and temper that comes to mind too.

Edited by jahman on Jan 27th 2021 at 4:39:07 AM

@ The Victors Project

• After Roan wins the 58th Hunger Games, Bovina asks Manannan for advice about dealing with an unstable victor. He tells her to "invest in locks."

• Magnificent Bastard: Space Pirate Grainile Imalleye in the final book. The daughter of a man who was executed due to Iceni's actions, Imalleye emerges as an aggressive neighbor of Midway after overthrowing the local authorities. Inspiring fierce loyalty with her tactical brilliance and charismatic presence, Imalleye comes close to killing Kommodor Marphissa. It turns out that Imalleye has only pretended to declare independence from the Syndicate Worlds to lure Iceni into a trap and get revenge on her. Instead, Imalleye destroys the Syndicate fleet that was supposed to help her kill Iceni and declares independence for real, which she planned to do the whole time. She makes it known that she may still resent Iceni, but recognizes that their former government is a far greater threat. While she was willing to kill Marphissa to maintain her cover, she's also willing to make peace with Midway to protect her people, as well as her personal power base.

• Fanon Discontinuity: Almost everyone hates the show's ending. The only difference is whether they disregard all of season three or just the series finale.

@ Snowpiercer (2020): Staff

@ The Lost Stars

• Thrown Out the Airlock: This happens to one unfortunate State Sec official.
  Bridge Bunny: Something is being ejected from C-143.
  The captain of C-143 (serenely): We have just disposed of the last snake, CEO Iceni.
  Iceni: Out of an airlock?
  Captain of C-143: That particular ISS agent delighted in undermining my authority with my crew, CEO Iceni.

@ Arachnophobia

• During his inspection, Delbert asks if anyone would object to him tearing a floor out. When Molly says she would object, he claims it was a "false alarm."
• When Molly meets the Beecher family, she asks what Becky plans to study in college and is told "gym." When when she jokes that the coach's son being the quarterback is nepotism, Mrs. Beecher says that actually, they're Baptists.
• When Lloyd finds a dead spider, Ross jokes that maybe it died from the shock of seeing him.

@ The Lost Stars

@ Mackenna's Gold

• Face Death with Dignity: After the preacher is dismounted he sits there, calmly praying, and doesn't try to outrun the Apaches or beg for his life.
• Ready for Lovemaking: After Inga (briefly) leaves the group, Hesh-Ke makes a beckoning sign at Mackenna, pointedly picks up her bedroll, unrolls it, and sits down, staring at Mackenna intensely.

• The Fool: In one 2014 short, Meathead repeatedly catches Jerry and Nibbles within seconds due to blind luck, without understanding what the big deal is.

• He's Just Hiding: Various villains not shown being disintegrated by Zordon's Wave (such as Rito, Baboo, Goldar, and Sprocket) have fans who believe them to have survived. 

Edited by Melinda on Jan 27th 2021 at 12:49:37 PM

Here's one for Everquest

All-Loving Hero:

• Subverted with Erollisi Marr. Despite being a Love Goddess she and her followers don't love everyone, as they know full well some people are irredeemably evil and are willing to die for someone or something they love.
• Played straight with Quellious, the goddess of peace. Not only is fighting physically impossible in her Plane Of Tranquility, she allows all the other gods (even those who hate her) to maintain portals in her plane (in game, her plane serves as a Hub Level for the Planes Of Power Expansion Pack, along with providing access to other planes that were added later on.)

Edited by Bootlebat on Jan 26th 2021 at 8:23:41 AM

Pokemon S 7 E 38 Cruisin For A Losin:

• Big Brother Instinct: Ash once again shows this in this episode. Ash is known for blowing up immediately when people yell at him, and May does this to him twice in a row, yet he stays calm and doesn't get into an argument with her. When May loses to Savannah in the Rubello Contest semi-finals, even though she was acting like a total brat before, Ash still goes outside to talk to and comfort her.

Add: Ash figures that the judges have given her enough grief over her behavior as is, so there's no point adding to it when it's clear that she is clearly upset with herself over it.

Edited by jahman on Jan 27th 2021 at 3:04:40 AM

jahman: A trope can't be "somewhat subverted". It's just subverted.

Concerning the Pokémon example, "it's also possible" indicates that it's speculative troping, which is a no-no.

fixed

One Piece: "Straw Hat" Monkey D. Luffy:

• My Greatest Failure:

Before: He fails to save his brother Ace from the Marines during the Paramount War. It brings into a long Heroic BSoD, until he snaps out of it and motivates him into becoming stronger for the next two years.

After: He fails to save his brother Ace from the Marines after failing to save his crew from being scattered in Sabody during the Paramount War Saga. It all sends Luffy into a long Heroic BSoD, until he snaps out of it with Jimbei and Rayleigh's help and motivates him into becoming stronger for the next two years.

Edited by jahman on Jan 27th 2021 at 5:37:35 AM