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This thread is for tropers who have trouble with English and would like some help with the crazy grammar of this crazy language.

Write down what you wish to edit on the wiki. If you have been suspended from editing, another troper might be kind enough to edit for you after your suggestions have been corrected.

The thread is for help and feedback on your own suggested edits.

If you want help correcting other people's edits (e.g., if you find a page which seems to have grammar problems but want a second opinion, or you don't feel able to fix it by yourself) then that's off-topic here, but we have a separate Grammar Police cleanup thread that can provide assistance.

Edited by Mrph1 on Nov 16th 2023 at 5:37:57 PM

FigureGunplaFan Since: Oct, 2013
#6376: Aug 26th 2019 at 10:45:53 AM

-

Edited by FigureGunplaFan on Aug 28th 2019 at 1:39:19 AM

Contributor for Gunpla Wiki. Currently suspended due to extensive writing issues. PS: I only wrote down what I saw. (audience reactions etc)
Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#6377: Aug 27th 2019 at 1:59:57 AM

From page 255 @Mhazard

Several decades have passed since a mysterious incident known as "Skyfall", when a space transition gate known as the "Gate" appeared in Earth orbit.

The weapon in question is the Extended Armament & Module Assemble & Combine System, also known as the EXAMACS, a type of mass-produced mecha unit with...

At the end of the year 2XXX, the same space transition gate has appeared again in Earth orbit.

As the Gate appears, an alien race known as the Byron suddenly emerges from the Gate...

The nations of the world decide to form the Earth Alliance Force to fend off the Byron Army, and the war between the Earth Alliance Force and Byron Army is cut off and dropped.

^ How do you cut off and drop a war?

Even though the units are meant to be mass-produced units

The Option Armor and Option Weapon sets provide additional armor parts and weapons for your EXAMACS units. <- period They also happen to be literal expansion packs as they are sold separately.

^ This is a run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice.

The major selling point of the series is that you can easily build an army of mass-produced grunt units, <- comma taking 30 minutes or less per unit if you skip the panel lining and painting.

The EXAMACS units and Option Armor parts are available in various different colors, allowing you to mix-and-match the the

The Alto is a mass-produced unit used by The Federation. <- period It has a modular design that allows it to be modified into various mission-specific models depending on the situation.

^ This is another run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice.

It's also designed to utilize powerful beam weapons in mind.

The Portanova is a mass-produced unit used by an enemy faction living in space. <- period It has a monoeye camera <- no comma and a round helmet-shaped head. <- period and One of them has a green color palette similar to the Zaku II.

^ run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice.

The axe for the Portanova has a rocket-powered axe with a thruster on the back.

One of the barrels you can get is the Medium Beam Rifle Barrel, it's noticeably longer than the standard rifle's barrel and it has a much higher caliber.

^ You're thinking of Soulcalibur.

The other barrel you can get is the Gatling Gun Barrels. <- period It's a triple-barreled Gatling gun with a chainsaw grip.

^ run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice.

A small robot that accompanies with the EXAMACS to provide support. <- period It is equipped with artificial intelligence.

^ run-on sentence connected together by a comma splice.

Edited by Arivne on Aug 27th 2019 at 2:04:49 AM

FigureGunplaFan Since: Oct, 2013
#6378: Aug 27th 2019 at 10:38:27 AM

Updates on Love Live's Die For Our Ship page

From:

  • The cover for the first issue of the Love Live! General Magazine (with Eli adjusting Riko's tie) caused a slight furor from other shippers, especially DiaEli and NozoEli fans.

To:

Edited by FigureGunplaFan on Aug 27th 2019 at 11:15:23 PM

Contributor for Gunpla Wiki. Currently suspended due to extensive writing issues. PS: I only wrote down what I saw. (audience reactions etc)
FigureGunplaFan Since: Oct, 2013
#6379: Aug 27th 2019 at 8:28:35 PM

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean

  • Memetic Mutation:
    • Some fans joke that Jotaro's true wife is a dolphin (given his job as a marine biologist to protect sea life) rather than a human female.

Contributor for Gunpla Wiki. Currently suspended due to extensive writing issues. PS: I only wrote down what I saw. (audience reactions etc)
nombretomado (Season 1) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#6380: Aug 27th 2019 at 8:38:20 PM

~FigureGunplaFan, this post:

  • YoshiMaru and YohaRiko shippers also started their war with that one story of Yoshiko and Riko interacting in the November 2016 issue of Dengeki G's magazine. until the second season's fifth episode adds more fuel to the fire. It doesn't help that the ChikaRiko relationship is possibly tossed aside in favor of the pairing. The flame wars boiled up with the simultaneous reveal of both the cover of the Sunshine Perfect Visual Collection book with Yoshiko and Hanamaru doing the heart-to-heart hand gestures and the other half pieces of the Over The Rainbow Movie visual magazine, where it was confirmed that the wrist held by Riko belongs to Yoshiko.
    • This is a very difficult example to read. I know you tried to rewrite it to get it into a single-bullet (good!), but it's still very staccato and doesn't flow naturally.
    • The part about the second season's fifth episode doesn't add anything. Did something flare up because of that episode? If so, what?
    • The write-ups seem to be about competing shipping fanbases (Ship-to-Ship Combat), and not a fictional character being pushed aside by fandom for the sake of shipping (Die for Our Ship).

nombretomado (Season 1) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#6381: Aug 27th 2019 at 8:42:21 PM

~FigureGunplaFan, OK, I want to help you improve, but posts like this are clearly zero-context. Please look at the page for this. This is not the first time I have directed you to this page, but it doesn't seem like you're checking it. If you don't understand what a ZCE is, we have a whole thread for that as well.

nombretomado (Season 1) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#6382: Aug 27th 2019 at 8:44:42 PM

~FigureGunplaFan, this request also violates Weblinks Are Not Examples (which you have also been directed to look at before).

nombretomado (Season 1) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#6383: Aug 27th 2019 at 8:47:23 PM

~FigureGunplaFan, this post:

Les Yay / Ho Yay is No Real Life Examples, Please!, and your edits appear to be about real Twitter accounts (i.e. not in-character Twitter accounts.

nombretomado (Season 1) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#6384: Aug 27th 2019 at 8:49:43 PM

~FigureGunplaFan, this request also seems to be describing Ship-to-Ship Combat instead of Die for Our Ship. I'm beginning to think that page could use a good scrub if this is representative.

nombretomado (Season 1) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#6385: Aug 27th 2019 at 8:50:43 PM

~FigureGunplaFan, this post:

  • Some fans joke that Jotaro's true wife is a dolphin (given his job as a marine biologist to protect sea life), rather than a human female.

Edited by nombretomado on Aug 27th 2019 at 8:50:51 AM

FigureGunplaFan Since: Oct, 2013
#6386: Aug 27th 2019 at 10:10:25 PM

Responding to this comment

Ah, sometimes I still forget about the Zero Context Examples since I'm trying to improve it.

Contributor for Gunpla Wiki. Currently suspended due to extensive writing issues. PS: I only wrote down what I saw. (audience reactions etc)
FigureGunplaFan Since: Oct, 2013
#6387: Aug 27th 2019 at 10:25:28 PM

To nombretomado:Responding to this comment:

Keep the "YoshiMaru and YohaRiko shippers also started their war with that one story of Yoshiko and Riko interacting in the November 2016 issue of Dengeki G's magazine." as the only example in the first bulleting on this page, and remove the example on the 1st double bulleting.

Some of these examples will move to LLSS' YMMV page instead:

Edited by FigureGunplaFan on Aug 29th 2019 at 6:00:32 PM

Contributor for Gunpla Wiki. Currently suspended due to extensive writing issues. PS: I only wrote down what I saw. (audience reactions etc)
KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#6388: Aug 28th 2019 at 9:32:23 AM

  • Big Order: In a story about guilt, Eiji Hoshimiya's father and sister are proof that the desire of atoning for your actions and protect your loved ones can lead people to impressive actions.
    • Gennai Hoshimiya, father of Eiji and Sena, performed terrible experiments to connect with the Spirit World and create a happier world. Desperate to save his ill daughter, Gennai betrayed his organization and allowed his children to ask for a wish, with them accidentally causing the Great Destruction and killing billions thought the world. Years later, Gennai uses the U.N. as a cover for his real plan, sacrifice Sena to try to fulfill his Utopian goal with the possibility of causing a Second Great Destruction, betting the fate of the world. Kidnapping Sena, Gennai fools the world by presenting himself as a loving father before revealing her the truth, using her guilt to make her accept her sacrifice and putting her against Eiji. Managing to open the door to the Spirit World and risking the entire world, Gennai is fatally wounded in a confrontation against the Group of Ten. Admitting his own hypocrisies and , Gennai apologizes to Eiji, saying that his only real goal was to atone for his actions and see a world where all wishes are fulfilled.
    • Sena Hoshimiya, now aware of her role in the Great Destruction starts a series of actions to ensure being killed for her beloved brother and save him from a life as a pariah and destroy all remains of her father's legacy. Reuniting multiple Order users and earning their loyalty for multiple reasons, Sena broadcast her apparent plan to cause a new Great Destruction to the public, using their fear for her plans. Defeating the attempts of the Group of Ten to stop her, Senna eventually opens a gate to the Spirit World, taking control over an entity known as "God" and unleashing it in the world, threatening to absorb all of it. A girl considerably smarter than she looks, Sena tries to manipulate her brother to hate her until she forces him to shoot her. Telling him the truth, Sena's last action is to join forces with her brother and use their Orders to control the damage she has caused.

Watch me destroying my country
brb1006 (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#6389: Aug 28th 2019 at 10:19:44 AM

Studio 100

  • Sinterklaas:
    • Zwarte Piet are main characters in the 2012 series Slot Marsepeinstein, while Sinterklaas is a supporting character.
    • Sinterklaas, and Zwarte Piete, make a brief appearance in the Piet Piraat episode Sinterklaas.
    • The company holds an annual live show, called De Grote Sinterklaasshow, where various characters come out and perform. Zwarte Piet shows up throughout the show, while Sinterklaas watch them perform for him. Plopsaland holds a similar show called "De Grote Zwarte Pietenshow".

  • Santa Claus: Santa makes occasional appearances in Slot Marsepeinstein where he's close friends with Sinterklaas.

Edited by brb1006 on Aug 28th 2019 at 6:49:54 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#6390: Aug 28th 2019 at 11:34:50 PM

[up][up] @Kazuya Prota

Changed verbs from past to present tense as per How to Write an Example - Write in Historical Present Tense.

In a story about guilt, Eiji Hoshimiya's father and sister are proof that the desire to atone for your actions and protect your loved ones can lead people to impressive actions.

Gennai Hoshimiya, father of Eiji and Sena, performs terrible experiments to connect with the Spirit World and create a happier world. Desperate to save his ill daughter, Gennai betrays his organization and allows his children to ask for a wish, with them accidentally causing the Great Destruction and killing billions throughout the world. Years later, Gennai uses the U.N. as a cover for his real plan, sacrificing Sena to try to fulfill his Utopian goal with the possibility of causing a Second Great Destruction, betting the fate of the world. Kidnapping Sena, Gennai fools the world by presenting himself as a loving father before revealing to her the truth, using her guilt to make her accept her sacrifice and pitting her against Eiji. Managing to open the door to the Spirit World and risking the entire world, Gennai is fatally wounded in a confrontation with the Group of Ten. Admitting his own hypocrisies and , (and what?) Gennai apologizes to Eiji, saying that his only real goal was to atone for his actions and see a world where all wishes are fulfilled.

Sena Hoshimiya, now aware of her role in the Great Destruction, <- comma starts a series of actions to ensure being killed to save her beloved brother from a life as a pariah and destroy all of the remains of her father's legacy. Reuniting multiple Order users and earning their loyalty for multiple reasons, Sena broadcasts her apparent plan to cause a new Great Destruction to the public, using their fear for her plans. Defeating the attempts of the Group of Ten to stop her, Senna eventually opens a gate to the Spirit World, taking control of an entity known as "God" and unleashing it on the world, threatening to absorb all of it. A girl considerably smarter than she looks, Sena tries to manipulate her brother into hating her until she forces him to shoot her. Telling him the truth, Sena's last action is to join forces with her brother and use their Orders to control the damage she has caused.

Edited by Arivne on Aug 28th 2019 at 11:35:24 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#6391: Aug 28th 2019 at 11:46:50 PM

[up][up] @brb1006

Zwarte Piet are main characters in the 2012 series Slot Marsepeinstein, in which Sinterklaas is a supporting character.

The company holds an annual live show <- no comma called De Grote Sinterklaasshow, where various characters come out and perform. Zwarte Piet shows up throughout the show, while Sinterklaas watches them perform for him. Plopsaland holds a similar show called De Grote Zwarte Pietenshow.

Santa makes occasional appearances in Slot Marsepeinstein, <- comma where he's close friends with Sinterklaas.

Edited by Arivne on Aug 28th 2019 at 11:52:55 AM

trainhobovegas Since: Apr, 2016
#6392: Aug 29th 2019 at 1:30:57 AM

@Arivne request proofreading Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) (ended up changing from Always Chaotic Evil to Humans Are the Real Monsters)

  • Humans Are the Real Monsters: The gangs can be easily substituted as a wave of marauding zombies with guns since none of them does speak, and their actions come about as they all share a collective consciousness similar to those of a hive mind on with only one directive. The intentions of killing anyone they come across, not to mention that the gang leader murders two innocent bystanders which includes an ice cream vendor and little girl during broad daylight.

Edited by trainhobovegas on Aug 29th 2019 at 8:55:50 AM

miraculous Goku Black (Apprentice)
Goku Black
#6393: Aug 29th 2019 at 2:05:52 AM

[up]Isn't Always Chaotic Evil for species that are evil?

"That's right mortal. By channeling my divine rage into power, I have forged a new instrument in which to destroy you."
trainhobovegas Since: Apr, 2016
#6394: Aug 29th 2019 at 2:14:07 AM

Most raiders from the Fallout series could be considered one, especially Fallout: New Vegas (written on the wiki trope) since they're on drugs and they Rape, Pillage, and Burn. Never mind.

Edited by trainhobovegas on Aug 29th 2019 at 8:55:19 AM

FigureGunplaFan Since: Oct, 2013
#6395: Aug 29th 2019 at 10:04:21 AM

Love Live's Meme page

[[Folder:Love Live! Sunshine!!]]

[[Folder: Love Live!]]

From:

  • Due to Eli's (and in a minor extent: Arisa) origin as a quarter Russian, expect her being juxtaposed with anything Russian like Slav suits, Vodka or "Rush B".

To:

  • Due to Eli's (and to a minor extent: Arisa) origin as a Japanese with a partly Russian blood, expect her to become a poster girl for anything Russian (such as her ability to rule with the power of dictatorship, doing "Rush B" as her strategy) and/or Gopnik stereotypes (such as her doing squats while wearing tracksuits, or her major addiction to Vodka) to many fans' eyes.

Edited by FigureGunplaFan on Aug 31st 2019 at 3:52:34 AM

Contributor for Gunpla Wiki. Currently suspended due to extensive writing issues. PS: I only wrote down what I saw. (audience reactions etc)
Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#6396: Aug 30th 2019 at 1:57:04 AM

[up] x 4 @trainhobovegas

The gangs can be easily substituted for by a wave of marauding zombies with guns, <- comma since none of them speak, and their actions occur because they all share a collective consciousness similar to those of a hive mind on with only one directive. They intend to kill anyone they come across, not to mention that the gang leader murders two innocent bystanders which includes (an ice cream vendor and a little girl) during broad daylight.

^ How does the fact that they kill those two people in broad daylight make them monsters?

Edited by Arivne on Aug 30th 2019 at 2:00:44 AM

Tomodachi Now a lurker. See you at the forums. Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Now a lurker. See you at the forums.
#6397: Aug 30th 2019 at 9:46:10 AM

I wrote this in Dross Rotzank, but I think there is something wrong with it.

  • Catchphrase: Dross has been known for cathphrases in his videos and video-vlogs. His insults have become memetic in the Latin American community.
    • "Te ha hablado Dross y te deseo... buenas noches." (this was Dross speaking, and I wish you... a good night).
    • "La realidad supera la ficcion." (Reality surpasses fiction). Used a lot in his horror videos.
    • "El orden de los factores no altera el producto" (changing the order of factors does not change the product).
    • "Bizarro en el sentido anglosajon de la palabra." (bizarre in the English meaning of the world). In Spanish, the word "bizarro" doesn't have the same meaning as in English, as the word means "valiant" or "brave" instead of "weird".
    • "La cerecita sobre el pastel" (the cherry on the cake).
    • "Pasa y resulta." (What happens and comes from it).
    • "Triunfo el estilo sobre la sustancia" (the triumph of style over substance). This quote was used to directly attack Final Fantasy XIII, RoboCop (2014) (which he had high hopes for), among many other works.
    • "Te lo juro por la mamá de Hugo Chávez y que se fuera" (I swear it for Hugo Chavez's mom and may she die), mostly used in video vlogs.
    • And of couse, all the insults. Largely abandoned in his main channel, they still appear from time to time on his vlogs, and his fanbase reminds them fondly.

To win, you need to adapt, and to adapt, you need to be able to laugh away all the restraints. Everything holding you back.
FigureGunplaFan Since: Oct, 2013
#6398: Aug 30th 2019 at 10:21:24 AM

Responding to this comment:

Looks like I need to rewrite it then. (I hope I'm doing it right this time, as the new example is trying to match the previous one below)

from:

  • The cover for the first issue of the Love Live! General Magazine (with Eli adjusting Riko's tie) caused a slight furor from other shippers, especially DiaEli and NozoEli fans.

To:

  • Fans of the common pairing (DiaEli, NozoEli, and KanaMari, for example) may have this reaction against the cover art for the Love Live! General Magazines, as it features a different, uncommon pairing (The first issue had Eli adjusting Riko's tie, the second had Kotori hugging Kanan) on each issue.

Edited by FigureGunplaFan on Aug 31st 2019 at 1:21:42 AM

Contributor for Gunpla Wiki. Currently suspended due to extensive writing issues. PS: I only wrote down what I saw. (audience reactions etc)
FigureGunplaFan Since: Oct, 2013
#6399: Aug 30th 2019 at 10:22:11 AM

Love Live! School idol festival ALL STARS' YMMV page

Contributor for Gunpla Wiki. Currently suspended due to extensive writing issues. PS: I only wrote down what I saw. (audience reactions etc)
nombretomado (Season 1) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#6400: Aug 30th 2019 at 5:31:44 PM

~FigureGunplaFan, this post:

I've removed both examples from Die for Our Ship, because you proposed a rewrite to Ship-to-Ship Combat instead, as suggested.


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