- The armoured figures finally come clear of the trees, their titanium and steel plate shining; the red crosses on white backgrounds fly high, even without the presence of the wind that should move them; from nose to hooves, their mounts are clad in luminous steel engraved with crosses, the eyes glowing a soft blueish white; that same glow is visible through the thick visors of the warrior monks, tabards of bulletproofed weave covering the torso plates, the insignia of the Portuguese royal family woven in; a sonorous voice is raised with the bright lances and pole-arms of the host.-
-The leading knight, a crimson painted crucifix set into his helmet, points towards the defences of the city.-
-Seven pillars of light rise from behind the walls, destroying any aircraft or Roman unfortunate enough to be near them, stylised Greek crosses blasting out from the zenith of each pillar; seven breaches are now made in the walls of Granada...-
And now, for those who do not wish to trawl the endless and lulzy depths of Babelfish... "We are the swords of the Lord, the Knights of the Temple of Solomon. This grand city has been desecrated and defiled, and for that your fates are now sealed, heathen dogs of Rome. There will be no escape for you. FALL, WALLS OF GRANADA! RIGHTEOUS WRATH IS UPON YOU! AMEN AND HALLELUJAH, THE HOLY WORK WILL BE DONE!"
edited 26th Aug '10 7:05:05 PM by Colonial1.1
"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."-Vulcan, separated from his opponent by a magma-filled chasm, takes a moment to survey the battlefield. He see the attack shattering the walls of the city, then looks at the Knights Templar-
Very well, Templars.
-Hundreds of metal object begin to fall towards the battlefield outside the breaches, screeching as they hurtle through the atmosphere-
I don't spend my time at my Forge twiddling my thumbs. Say hello to my personal army.
-The object, which are diamond-shaped, slam into the ground-
"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.-Zeus continues talking, shouting in order to be heard over the roar of thunder and lightning-
PISS?! COME OFF IT, BOIS! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE ONLY THING ALL TRUE WARRIORS STRIVE FOR ARE THE DARK, MOIST PLACES OF THE WORLD...IF YOU TAKE MY MEANING.
-Fade continues to sniff around, drawing close and closer to Steropes' position-
The Danse Macabre CodexI see.
And there was that one time after Io, bullshit took an extremely literal meaning. And guess who got the job of scrubbing all the floors in Olympus?
You? Why?
You remember the thing with Augias and his stables?
Yeah... Oh.
Ayep. "You're the one with the most experience" he says.
So can I call you shitsweeper from now o-
Centaur wedding party.
edited 28th Aug '10 12:01:47 AM by Chabal2
-The objects unfold and out of each, half a dozen figures emerge. They are human-dhaped, and large enough to see eye-to-eye with a man on a horse. They are clad from head to toe in steel armour of superb craftmanship, emblazoned with the symbol of an anvil. They carry a multitued of weapons, from swords and shields to ray-guns, and they move with whirring and ticking sounds. The army Vulcan has deployed is at least one hundred strong, and more landing pods are beginning to fall. Vulcan looks up at the torrent of metal drop ships, and bellows-
Face My Creations, Templars. Taste The Steel Of The Iron Host, And Perish!
"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.-Th Iron Host open fire, hundreds of beams able to slice through a man fired at the Templars. Those armed with close-combat gear sprint towards the fight, accelerating at speeds impossible for a human as they charge the Knights-
"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.-The pair come across one of the spheres.-
So, how should we-
-Heracles has grabbed hold of a sphere and is bashing it into the ground with his club.-
Ah, the subtle approach.
WHAM POW BIFF What?
Oh, nothing. Speaking of nothing, that's what you appear to be doing to it.
-Heracles looks down. Sure enough, the sphere shows no trace of being repeatedly struck by an irate demigod.-
Huh. So, how should we do this?
Maybe if we were to hit it at the same time...
But who'll hold it down?
-They look at each other.-
Not it.
-Zeus pulls his thunderbolt free of the ground and strides over to the two Genii, glowering; the other spheres begin to move away from Heracles and Hercules-
MAH BOIS, I'M AFRAID THIS HAS TO STOP.
-he leans down and swats at them with an enormous splayed hand-
The Danse Macabre CodexWants some help, my nephew?
-Vulcan roars in outrage, and drives his sword into the earth. There is a colossal cracking sound, and the earth opens up directly in front of the Templars, who have milliseconds before the front row charge straight into a volcanic chasm-
edited 3rd Sep '10 3:26:33 PM by MadeOfAxes
"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.-Zeus recoils as if stung, revealing the sphere to have been cracked by the impact—it is now shot through with flaws, and it appears that a good blow from two clubs striking it in unison will damage it-
The Danse Macabre CodexNOW!!!
-The two clubs swing as one and slam into the sphere, shattering it. Then momentum carries them on their course, sending the club into the opposite's head.
-a tired sigh echoes from somewhere above as the Well-Dressed Man reappears next to the two Genii-
WDM: I retract my earlier statement about the two of you getting on smashingly with Thor; even that red-haired oaf of a brother...or nephew, rather...has more sense than the two of you put together.
-with that, Loki rapidly drives a knee into Hercules' jaw and gives Heracles a palm-thrust in the face-
The Danse Macabre Codex-the Well-Dressed Man smiles as the clubs pass clean through him, whacking the Herculean musclemen in their faces. Loki flickers for a moment, then reappears standing atop Heracles' head-
WDM: Come now, you didn't actually think breaking one of my Abstractor Spheres would hinder me in any way, did you?
-the Jotun snaps his fingers, and another sphere appears overhead-
The Danse Macabre CodexWDM: Woof!
-Loki staggers as Koschei plants a massive foot into the back of his head, driving him into the unseen floor-
WDM: What is it with burly men and kicking me in the back of the head today?!
The Danse Macabre Codex-Koschei punches Loki in the back of the head in case of spells before drawing his enormous sword.-
And who's this guy?
He would be Koschei the Deathless, of the Rus. He's on your side.
Sure, mysterious-voice-in-my-head-I've-never-heard-before. I always instantly trust huge hairy men that drop out of nowhere to fight.
I do.
... Just... Just shut up. Please.
Look, he seems to be on our side, and that's all that matters right now!
... Right.
(Be back soon, start preparing the counterattacks that make this thread so fun.)
-Loki growls in frustration and produces a twig of mistletoe from his jacket-
WDM: Oh, for the love of mead and fratricide!
-he vanishes, reappearing on Koschei's shoulder, and his twig transforms back into Mistilteinn. The Well-Dressed Man then grabs the interloping giant by the hair and prepares to stab him through the ear canal; meanwhile, the other spheres dart towards Heracles and Hercules and begin to siphon their power-
edited 4th Sep '10 12:15:51 PM by SullenFrog
The Danse Macabre Codex

-Fade drops down to all fours and dims his aura, minimizing his profile. He sniffs at the air once, twice, then begins to move towards Steropes' position...-
YOU'LL DO NO SUCH THING, MAH BOIS!
-Zeus stands to his full height, grasping his mighty thunderbolt in both hands, and stabs it into the ground. The floor then comes alive with vast quantities of electricity, arcs of purple and blue lightning gamboling here, there, and everywhere-
The Danse Macabre Codex