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Corrupt-a-wish.

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Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#676: Aug 9th 2009 at 7:36:44 PM

She keeps forgetting to turn you back after she transforms you in various ways for her sexual gratification. Your day-to-day life is... Awkward, to say the least.

I wish for psychic powers.

DireSloth Since: Jan, 2001
#677: Aug 9th 2009 at 7:41:35 PM

Granted. You can bend spoons...and nothing else.

I wish that thing Scrounge just did to WWW would happen to me too...

Not actually back.
WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#678: Aug 9th 2009 at 7:42:36 PM

You can hear the thoughts of everyone around you, and can't turn this power off. Everybody singing "I Kissed A Girl" drives you insane and from that point on you mostly use your power to Mind Rape people.

ninja'd: You also have a Reality Warper girlfriend. Unfortunately, it's the same girl that I have, so we end up fighting. My day-to-day life is already awkward. Tentacles would only make it better.

I wish I had telepathy that I could control.

edited 9th Aug '09 7:43:15 PM by WilliamWideWeb

SHIKI is dead.
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#679: Aug 9th 2009 at 7:43:34 PM

William's girlfriend gives you tentacles and forgets to turn you back to normal. William comes home just as you're leaving. His girlfriend can't tell if the two of you are fighting, or, um... You get the idea.

ninja'd: You have telepathy you can control.. The problem is, you don't know what's in someone's head until you look, so you get plenty of nasty surprises, and become increasingly paranoid.

I wish I was a good fighter.

edited 9th Aug '09 7:45:18 PM by Scrounge

WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#680: Aug 9th 2009 at 7:44:54 PM

You're a good fighter. You die in battle.

I wish that I couldn't die, and that I could pick a small group of friends who would be immortal with me.

SHIKI is dead.
Anemotaxis legacy interface Since: May, 2009
legacy interface
#681: Aug 9th 2009 at 7:58:05 PM

You don't die, but do get killed repeatedly. Your objections that being killed implies dying go without response, and the logical impossibility of this scenario causes your brain to fold upon itself into something that would make a string theorist have a heart attack. Lacking a properly-functioning brain, you somehow manage to make you and your friends dead without dying first. Well, them's the breaks.

I wish I could find the cap for this USB drive here.

Spoiler bookmarklet for iPhone and iPod touch
Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR Since: Jan, 2001
Embrace the mindscrew
#682: Aug 9th 2009 at 7:59:07 PM

You do. It's a live grizzly bear.

I wish I was great at RT Ses.

What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.
WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#683: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:12:37 PM

You're so good at RT Ses that nobody wants to play with you anymore.

I wish I had a billion dollars.

SHIKI is dead.
Anemotaxis legacy interface Since: May, 2009
legacy interface
#684: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:16:42 PM

You have a billion dollars... in high-interest loans.

I wish this lamp wouldn't flicker every time I turned it on.

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WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#685: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:18:45 PM

Your lamp flickers every time you turn it off.

I wish I had a power level over nine thousand.

SHIKI is dead.
krrackknut Not here, look elsewhere from The empty Aether. Since: Jan, 2001
Not here, look elsewhere
#686: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:20:19 PM

Now that you do, people cannot stop but scream that phrase every time you enter the room. You're a walking meme-plague, and die from burst ear-drums.

I wish this thread didn't exist.

An useless name, a forsaken connection.
Anemotaxis legacy interface Since: May, 2009
legacy interface
#687: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:20:38 PM

You already do. This power level is measured in nanowatts.

You notice that this thread doesn't exist, so you go and create one just like it to pass the time.

I wish I could stop compulsively hitting "refresh" on the new posts page.

edited 9th Aug '09 8:22:41 PM by Anemotaxis

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Tzetze DUMB from a converted church in Venice, Italy Since: Jan, 2001
DUMB
#688: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:24:20 PM

I make that Ubiquity mashup, so you compulsively refresh that instead.

I wish that I had known about http://bogleech.com earlier.

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
Solstace Hexachordal Combinatorial from the Second Viennese School Since: Dec, 1969
Hexachordal Combinatorial
#689: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:24:43 PM

You stop, realize you don't have any other life, and cry.

I wish that I wasn't getting ninja'd so much.

Hey, what do you know? ninja'd.

edited 9th Aug '09 8:25:04 PM by Solstace

Ecstasy is Sustained Intensity
Anemotaxis legacy interface Since: May, 2009
legacy interface
#690: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:26:13 PM

You get pirated instead.

I wish tomorrow weren't Monday.

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krrackknut Not here, look elsewhere from The empty Aether. Since: Jan, 2001
Not here, look elsewhere
#691: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:29:11 PM

Tomorrow is still Sunday, but you skip over the events of Monday, thereby losing your one true shot at love, a happy life, and die miserable and alone.

I wish I had your rubber ducky.

edited 9th Aug '09 8:29:28 PM by krrackknut

An useless name, a forsaken connection.
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#692: Aug 9th 2009 at 8:55:27 PM

Tzetze: Congrats, you've wasted even MORE time there!

Cracknuts: You go to jail for stealing a rubber ducky. The other inmates never let you live it down.

I wish my left palm didn't hurt.

Etheru Since: Jul, 2009
#693: Aug 9th 2009 at 10:06:25 PM

Granted, but now your right palm hurts.

I wish that normal gaming consoles were Transformers.

Etheru Since: Jul, 2009
#694: Aug 9th 2009 at 10:06:27 PM

Double post.

I get more angry whenever this happens.

edited 9th Aug '09 10:07:16 PM by Etheru

Asocialdemocrat Brutually Utilitarian Since: Dec, 2009
Brutually Utilitarian
#695: Aug 10th 2009 at 1:37:37 AM

Granted, all consoles are transformers and are decepticons and yours kill you. Luckily P Cs and MACS are autobots and save the human race.

I wish for magic-like science-y powers, not reality warper powers, but something more on the lines of the "magic" of HP Lovecraft, Alchemy from Fullmetal, etc.

"We live once, with a meaningless existence, and life is all that there is. There are no gods or devils watching over us. But we must act moral and for the greater good none the less." -A view of mine on life.
Blau Court Jester from Blauretania Since: Jan, 2001
Court Jester
#696: Aug 10th 2009 at 2:25:47 AM

You have magic-like science-y powers now. They are really great and you enjoy them very much for years and years to come. Until one day when something goes horribly wrong and you find yourself teleported to Europe (assuming you are not there already). In the 17th century. You die a fiery death tied to a stake, but not after weeks and weeks of cruel and brutal torture. Not that fancy modern waterboarding kind of torture but that "apply pliers to fingernails"/"gauge out eyes with a red hot poker"-type of torture. They just didn't like magic back then, did they?

I wish for less torture.

Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore for shops at the seashore are so sure to lose. Now she's not so sure of what she should be selling, should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes?
Asocialdemocrat Brutually Utilitarian Since: Dec, 2009
Brutually Utilitarian
#697: Aug 10th 2009 at 2:41:55 AM

Granted, you get something worse.... MUHAHAHAHA!

I wish for to have far more philosophical knowledge, and lots of Western and some Eastern Martial arts ability (anime style of course).

"We live once, with a meaningless existence, and life is all that there is. There are no gods or devils watching over us. But we must act moral and for the greater good none the less." -A view of mine on life.
krrackknut Not here, look elsewhere from The empty Aether. Since: Jan, 2001
Not here, look elsewhere
#698: Aug 10th 2009 at 5:52:23 AM

And with it, you gain three hundred, round-character rivals, all heroes in their own right. Your life is plagued from then on by them, one way or another. You die without ever knowing peace.

I wish for omnipotence.

edited 10th Aug '09 5:52:43 AM by krrackknut

An useless name, a forsaken connection.
Etheru Since: Jul, 2009
#699: Aug 10th 2009 at 5:56:15 AM

Granted, but now you can't even find excitement in your own, omnipotent life, you don't even have any other powers!

I wish I knew what to wish for.

edited 10th Aug '09 5:56:25 AM by Etheru

Blau Court Jester from Blauretania Since: Jan, 2001
Court Jester
#700: Aug 10th 2009 at 6:10:22 AM

You think and think and think about that wishing business. You twist your mind until you finally know what to wish for. Unfortunately that took you so long that the wish granting being you wanted to wish from has left you minutes before you came up with your wish. You regret your unability to think of a wish faster for the rest of life. Your bitter, miserable life. Because of several drug addiction you die a at the age of 38, after long and painful drug induced illness.

I hope you are not already older than 38.

Having lost ridiculous amounts of weight I wish that the excess skin that I'm now left with would somehow regress.

Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore for shops at the seashore are so sure to lose. Now she's not so sure of what she should be selling, should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes?

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