You have a dollar in your pocket. It's the only money you have.
...Does being stuck in the labyrinth for all eternity (regardless of who's with you) not sound horrible enough? Fine. You both get eaten by a minotaur who's irate at not being in the movie.
I wish I was less spiteful.
You get a Dope Slap. You think you're so, so clever for dishing up the oldest paradox in the book, don't you? :P
EDIT: Darn, ninja'd. I can't bring myself to corrupt Haven's wish... So... People who do that get a Dope Slap and then they're ON FIRE! But so is Haven, just to balance things out... So, I guess I could corrupt it... A little... sort of.
I wish for either porn or prawn.
edited 7th Aug '09 9:04:35 PM by Scrounge
You're being slowly lowered into a vat of acid until you can explain how being on fire relates to either porn or prawn.
EDIT: Damn, ninja'd again. William, you know when and where every fire is going to occur... starting HERE and NOW, with the burning building you're buried under rubble in.
I wish you'd make sense, Dire Sloth.
edited 7th Aug '09 9:07:08 PM by Scrounge
Planescape Hijack
I'm pretty sure Dire Sloth got ninja'd by you, Scrounge. Anyway, you get porn OF prawn.
I wish I was a dolphin.
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count DorkuHaven turns into a dolphin and kills your family.
I wish I was awesome.
What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.You're a Mary Sue now, but everyone thinks you're awesome! They have no choice in the matter, but that's beside the point!
I wish I could sleep.
It blows up.
I wish I was awesomest.
edited 7th Aug '09 9:32:23 PM by Zyxzy
What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.
Planescape Hijack
Zyxzy is awesomest, and his sudden popularity causes world-wide panic and death, as Reiface turns out to be a Brown Note when sufficiently awesomed.
I wish I had some cheesecake.
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count DorkuWilliam: You have infinite power... But no control. I leave the rest to your imagination, where all your demons are waiting to be empowered.
Zephyr: It goes off with you at ground zero.
Zyxzy: Doesn't that make me not a killer, since, well, the guy isn't dead? Anyhow, you're a giant robot. Pray for war, because you have no home except the battlefield. You have no friends, no bretheren, and no soul. You are truly alien to everyone, and they all fear you, even as they cheer the swath of destruction you cut across the other side of the world.
EDIT: Damn it, ninja'd. This is what happens when you try to corrupt three wishes in one go.
You can do whatever you want, William... But now that you're effectively omnipotent, it seems like you're developing a little bit of a problem with impulse control.
I wish it was worth it.
edited 7th Aug '09 9:40:23 PM by Scrounge
It's replaced with rabid wolverines.
I wish I could whistle.
What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.

You're trapped in a labyrinth with him for all eternity.
I repeat my last wish (I wish for the power to make others feel gloomy), clarifying that others means people who are not me.
edited 7th Aug '09 8:39:52 PM by Scrounge