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Corrupt-a-wish.

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Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#476: Aug 7th 2009 at 8:38:52 PM

You're trapped in a labyrinth with him for all eternity.

I repeat my last wish (I wish for the power to make others feel gloomy), clarifying that others means people who are not me.

edited 7th Aug '09 8:39:52 PM by Scrounge

Haven Planescape Hijack Since: Jan, 2001
Planescape Hijack
#477: Aug 7th 2009 at 8:46:27 PM

You can make other people feel gloomy...with your face. ZING!

I wish I was good at people.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
Golem \m/ ('.') \m/ from New York Since: Jan, 2001
\m/ ('.') \m/
#478: Aug 7th 2009 at 8:48:18 PM

People realize you're good and suffocate you.

I wish I had a dollar in my pocket.

Also, how is being stuck with Bowie forever bad?

"They wanted to play 'memes' with the Old School. Now there are tears." - Fast Eddie
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#479: Aug 7th 2009 at 8:58:39 PM

You have a dollar in your pocket. It's the only money you have.

...Does being stuck in the labyrinth for all eternity (regardless of who's with you) not sound horrible enough? Fine. You both get eaten by a minotaur who's irate at not being in the movie.

I wish I was less spiteful.

Zephir from Z'ha'dum Since: Aug, 2009
#480: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:00:43 PM

Granted! Incidentally, how're the lobotomy scars healing up?

I wish this wish wasn't granted.

I has a signature?!?
Haven Planescape Hijack Since: Jan, 2001
Planescape Hijack
#481: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:03:10 PM

You're on fire.

I wish people would stop trying that wish in this thread.

edited 7th Aug '09 9:03:39 PM by Haven

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#482: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:03:18 PM

You get a Dope Slap. You think you're so, so clever for dishing up the oldest paradox in the book, don't you? :P

EDIT: Darn, ninja'd. I can't bring myself to corrupt Haven's wish... So... People who do that get a Dope Slap and then they're ON FIRE! But so is Haven, just to balance things out... So, I guess I could corrupt it... A little... sort of.

I wish for either porn or prawn.

edited 7th Aug '09 9:04:35 PM by Scrounge

DireSloth Since: Jan, 2001
#483: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:03:56 PM

YOU'RE ON FIRE.

I wish I wasn't on fire.

Not actually back.
WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#484: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:04:49 PM

You're frozen.

I wish I knew when every fire was going to occur.

SHIKI is dead.
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#485: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:05:25 PM

You're being slowly lowered into a vat of acid until you can explain how being on fire relates to either porn or prawn.

EDIT: Damn, ninja'd again. William, you know when and where every fire is going to occur... starting HERE and NOW, with the burning building you're buried under rubble in.

I wish you'd make sense, Dire Sloth.

edited 7th Aug '09 9:07:08 PM by Scrounge

Haven Planescape Hijack Since: Jan, 2001
Planescape Hijack
#486: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:15:45 PM

I'm pretty sure Dire Sloth got ninja'd by you, Scrounge. Anyway, you get porn OF prawn.

I wish I was a dolphin.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#487: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:20:15 PM

You're a dolphin, and are caught in a tuna net.

I, too, wish Haven was a dolphin. :P

Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR Since: Jan, 2001
Embrace the mindscrew
#488: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:22:11 PM

Haven turns into a dolphin and kills your family.

I wish I was awesome.

What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#489: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:24:58 PM

You're a Mary Sue now, but everyone thinks you're awesome! They have no choice in the matter, but that's beside the point!

I wish I could sleep.

WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#490: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:28:38 PM

You fall asleep forever.

I wish I were awesomer.

SHIKI is dead.
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#491: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:30:47 PM

What couold be more awesome than being a rock star? Unfortunately, you don't stay popular for long, and soon you're just a bitter old man who used to play guitar.

I wish I were a killer.

WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#492: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:31:42 PM

You kill a man and get arrested.

I wish I had INFINITE POWER!

SHIKI is dead.
Zephir from Z'ha'dum Since: Aug, 2009
#493: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:32:01 PM

Granted. You want the electric chair or lethal injection?

EDIT: Damn ninja'd!

Granted, too bad you don't know how to use it.

I wish for a nuke.

edited 7th Aug '09 9:32:51 PM by Zephir

I has a signature?!?
Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR Since: Jan, 2001
Embrace the mindscrew
#494: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:32:03 PM

It blows up.

I wish I was awesomest.

edited 7th Aug '09 9:32:23 PM by Zyxzy

What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.
Haven Planescape Hijack Since: Jan, 2001
Planescape Hijack
#495: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:34:18 PM

You want power, WilliamWideWeb? You got it! Unfortunately, phenomenal cosmic power...itty-bitty living space!

Zyxzy is awesomest, and his sudden popularity causes world-wide panic and death, as Reiface turns out to be a Brown Note when sufficiently awesomed.

I wish I had some cheesecake.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#496: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:34:46 PM

You have cheesecake. It contains an incendiary.

I wish I could do whatever I wanted.

edited 7th Aug '09 9:35:11 PM by WilliamWideWeb

SHIKI is dead.
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#497: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:38:39 PM

William: You have infinite power... But no control. I leave the rest to your imagination, where all your demons are waiting to be empowered.

Zephyr: It goes off with you at ground zero.

Zyxzy: Doesn't that make me not a killer, since, well, the guy isn't dead? Anyhow, you're a giant robot. Pray for war, because you have no home except the battlefield. You have no friends, no bretheren, and no soul. You are truly alien to everyone, and they all fear you, even as they cheer the swath of destruction you cut across the other side of the world.

EDIT: Damn it, ninja'd. This is what happens when you try to corrupt three wishes in one go.

You can do whatever you want, William... But now that you're effectively omnipotent, it seems like you're developing a little bit of a problem with impulse control.

I wish it was worth it.

edited 7th Aug '09 9:40:23 PM by Scrounge

WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#498: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:39:39 PM

It's worth it. But it's impossible.

I wish

SHIKI is dead.
Scrounge (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#499: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:41:11 PM

You spend eternity

I wish this space hadn't been intentionally left blank.

Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR Since: Jan, 2001
Embrace the mindscrew
#500: Aug 7th 2009 at 9:45:09 PM

It's replaced with rabid wolverines.

I wish I could whistle.

What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.

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