Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. They all taste terrible, and it's the only food you're allowed to have for the rest of your life.

I wish I had 20/20 vision.

Edited by Awesomekid42 on Nov 1st 2021 at 1:34:21 PM

Granted. You sprout two new perfect eyes, but the process is painful and the result weirds out everyone.

I wish I could stop feeling overheated.

Granted. You are still overheated, but you can't feel it now, and you don't notice when you succumb to heatstroke.

I wish for wisdom.

Granted. It's crappy wisdom so you're not enlightened.

I wish Shazam was the Dreamstone from Wonder Woman 1984 and quickly died when he merged with it.

Edited by AlicornGaia on Nov 2nd 2021 at 9:35:08 PM

Granted. But because comics, he gets revived pretty much immediately.

I wish I could read minds.

Granted. You are now capable of reading Minds by J.K. Ong. Unfortunately, it's not a very good book.

I wish I could send my thoughts to others via telepathy.

Granted. Only you can't stop broadcasting your thoughts and it ruins your life.

I wish it were easier to get good jobs.

Granted. However, as a result, they end up being booked with over too many people a company, leaving those less fortunate to be unemployed.

I wish we had 12 days of Christmas (in vacation holiday time, that is).

Edited by Taurus-the-Tinker-Bull on Nov 6th 2021 at 4:49:45 PM

Granted: there's now a BIG Christmas rush.

I wish for Brummie.

Granted. However your accent is so bad that you offend natives of the United Kingdom, who beat you to death.

I wish I didn't have to pay rent money.

Granted, you're now homeless.

I wish I was a god.

Granted. You're now the god of rotten garbage.

I wish I didn't have a headache.

Granted. It evolves into a migraine.

I wish anti-vaxxers didn't exist.

Granted, at the cost of Anti-Vaxxers being completely erased from existence, the amount of Flat-Earthers double.

I wish the Earth was a cylinder.

Granted. Vaccines never existed, so therefore no one can oppose them. Hope you like smallpox!

Granted. The reshaping of Earth causes disastrous seismic events that make the whole planet uninhabitable.

I wish I could eat nothing but candy and still be perfectly healthy.

Edited by NineTailedCat on Nov 6th 2021 at 11:42:29 AM

Granted. All the candies are spoiled. Have fun living on a toilet or starving for the rest of your life.

I wish the world became cube-shaped but nothing happens to the tectonic plates.

Granted, Earth flys out of orbit due to change in gravity.

I wish NASA scientists discovered a planet made of coffee.

Granted. However, It’s slowly melting away from the heat of the sun, rendering it uninhabitable.

I wish for the next Nintendo console to have an updated port of Smash Ultimate, rather than an entirely new game altogether.

Edited by Taurus-the-Tinker-Bull on Nov 7th 2021 at 7:16:17 PM

Granted. The update has removed all DLC character due to licensing issues on some of them.

I wish that mosquitoes didn't exist.

Granted. The world more rapidly becomes a mess of rotting corpses and fecal matter, and smaller critters such as frogs and lizards have one of their food sources greatly dininished. This gradually leads to the more rapid extinction of many of the world's species, culminating in the extinction of the human race.

I could do some research to see if this is actually how it would go, but I don't feel like it.

I wish I could turn my emotions off.

Granted. However, brain activity was considered to be an emotion by the genie, so you become brain dead.

I wish I was able to go to my friend's birthday party yesterday.

Granted, while you are at the party, one of your friends spontaneously in a trance says “You’ve doomed them all by coming here, Awesomekid 42! The spiral of time leads only to the gaping maw of eternity.” Terrified of this prophecy, the next day you wish to the genie for you to have not went to the party, not realizing you wished to be able to go to the party in the “first” place, and the flip-flopping timelines are slowly more corrupted by creepy statements like that until everyone who ever lived is sucked into the mouth of a giant multidimensional Eldritch Abomination lurking below time.

I wish for a bag of silence.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Nov 10th 2021 at 12:44:09 PM

Granted: ...You're in the...Bag?

I wish Otter! Calypso was the canon one.

Edited by LilCutie on Nov 11th 2021 at 8:24:44 AM

Granted. It's canon in one of many countless realities. But not this one, so you don't notice anything happen.

I wish I could easily get any job I wanted.

Granted. But to make this wish come true, you had been sent into a machine world that had no edible food, so you starved to death.

I wish for eternal youth.

Edited by himmelicht on Nov 12th 2021 at 4:53:24 AM