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Granted, the genie, who In-Universe doesn't have the link to the work page available, doesn't realize you are actually referring to stands in the JoJo sense, so as he tries to work out what you mean you wind up with a solid gold head or something.
I wish that the corruption for this wish seems like it is referring to a completely different wish, preferably one that gives a Noodle Incident-ish effect.
Edited by DeepFiemott on Jan 4th 2021 at 3:38:00 AM
Granted. You shapeshift into a chair and can't turn back.
I wish my new laptop would arrive already.
Granted! It's defective.
Granted! They play the game irl and hold you responsible.
I wish that I had telekenesis.
Granted. You can't turn it off. Every time you think about something, you move it. Anything at all. No matter how far away it is. Try not to think about cars or airplanes.
I wish my favorite animated serie got a continuation with the original cast and staff.
Edited by VidExGuy on Jan 4th 2021 at 11:09:59 AM
Granted. This goes on for a very long time, without any cast changes to accomodate the crew's age, until the last member dies of old age.
I wish capsaisin-based foods were globally more bearable.
Edited by SomeLibre on Jan 6th 2021 at 6:58:43 PM
Granted. Everybodys' tastebuds are made more resistant to capsaicin based foods. All other foods as a consequence taste like mush now.
I wish the earth stopped spinning.
Granted, the genie doesn't feel like just making everyone die from getting flung around by the sudden stop, so, instead, he messes with the nature of Mach's Principle a bit to make the Earth stop spinning but not fling anyone by doing something along the lines of making the entire rest of the universe spin around the Earth instead. The sun gets in the wrong position by all this and doesn't heat the Earth enough to maintain human life anymore. And Copernicus and Galileo are rolling over in their graves.
I wish Greedo shot first.
Granted. He did shoot first. He hit. Han Solo died.
I wish TV Tropes allowed April Fool's pranks on the wiki.
Granted, but due to how long April Fools Pranks have not been a thing around here, we end up not having that many ideas.
I wish to experience an alternate reality where Nintendo bought Fox instead of Disney.
Granted. In that reality, Disney buys Nintendo after Nintendo buys Fox.
Granted. The coffee is so mind-blowingly delicious that it drives you insane.
I wish another director was in charge of the Star Wars prequels and Lucas was Kicked Upstairs.
Granted. Said other director is Tommy Wiseau.
I wish to be the greatest artist in the world.
Granted. You are now the greatest American Fotoplayer player in the world, capable of composing the best photoplayer music ever written, but only for the American Fotoplayer (tm) brand. However, due to the fact that there are only 12 functioning ones left in the world, you'll never get the chance to use one. More to the point, it's basically a player piano with some sound effect makers attached, so anyone could become almost as good as you at it with relative ease.
Edited by Florien on Jan 5th 2021 at 10:09:43 AM
Granted, you have to deal with the various questions that visitors such as friends and family have to the point that you just tell them to google it.
I wish I could get Class 1-A, Class 3-E, the Knothole Freedom Fighters, and the 4th Graders of South Park Elementary to watch The Venture Bros. with me
You forgot about the Knothole Freedom Fighters
Edited by MisterZygarde64 on Jan 6th 2021 at 7:29:38 AM
Granted, but throughout this thread you have now used enough separate wishes to directly interact with Class 1-A, Class 3-E, and South Park Elementary that the settings of reality, South Park, My Hero Academia, and Assassination Classroom are now part of one single Shared Universe. Unfortunately, the interactions between incompatible aspects of their physics cause a Reality-Breaking Paradox.
I wish Rainbow Dash was the Big Bang.
Granted. Mankind is now descended from pegasi, and we have little reason to stay on land.
I wish League of Legends and Teamfight Tactics were separate apps on PC.
Granted, the LOL gets much more content than the latter.
I wish for the Great Trial to begin.
Edited by The_Dag on Jan 8th 2021 at 7:26:16 PM
Granted. You are accused with treason and anti-Soviet behaviour, the court finds you guilty and sentences you to be shot.
I wish Disney never jettisoned the Expanded Universe, and did a trilogy on the Yuuzhan Vong.
Edited by TheFarmboy on Jan 8th 2021 at 6:22:18 AM
Granted. It's so terrible and performs so poorly in the box office that it results in the Star Wars franchise as a whole being discontinued.
I wish I always had a stable internet connection.
Edited by Awesomekid42 on Jan 8th 2021 at 4:57:49 AM
Granted. You have a perfectly stable 28Kbps connection that only works on a 386 modem.
I wish to meet friendly aliens.
Granted but they end up being so friendly to the point it makes you uncomfortable.
I wish there was a very hard mode for Smash Ultimate's World of Light (hard mode is hardly any harder than normal for me).
Edited by MkayRose on Jan 8th 2021 at 1:02:07 PM
The difficulty straight up fries your Switch.
I wish for the crispiest french fries in this whole universe, that's still edible to humans.
Edited by SomeLibre on Jan 9th 2021 at 12:26:13 AM
Granted, the crispiness is so immense that it goes all the way down to the subatomic level with absurd energy. For it to remain edible, the genie keeps it stable until after you eat it. As soon as it enters your stomach, it collapses into a black hole.
I wish it was possible to exceed Tsirelson's Bound, but not the retro-signaling bound.
Granted. Millions of people are killed by accidental quantum tunneling, which scrambles up their own bodies.
I wish Jigsaw kidnapped the terrorists who stormed the Capitol earlier this month and put them in his most horrific traps to test them.
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