Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. They become Faux Affably Evil Knights of Cerebus as a result of being tortured and go on revenge sprees killing millions, including you and your family.

---

I wish my family did not lose electrical power.

This Pokemon Platinum sequel is FAR darker than I expected it to be. Mega Giratina here looks like something out of a DOOM game!

Granted. You're cut off from the water supply instead.

---

I wish that everything was made of cookies, down to the atomic level.

Granted; literally everything is made of cookies. But in due time, everything gets so old and stale, everything breaks down into crumbs and gets so smaller and smaller, the entire universe is dead, with everything becoming a barren of crumbs. I guess that's how the cookie crumbles.

I wish Agent 47 was a DLC character in Mortal Kombat 11.

I was expecting the wish to be corrupted by being stopped by Sonic and friends but okay that works too.

---

Granted he's low tier and not fun to play as.

---

I wish I could teach Edelgard to Be Careful What You Wish For towards her wish to unite Fodlan and overthrow the Church and crest system by having Bowser, Dr. Eggman, King K. Rool, Ganondorf, Dr. Neo Cortex, Dr. Wily, and the Toppat Clan invade Fodlan.

Edited by MisterZygarde64 on Dec 25th 2020 at 7:27:17 AM

Check out Rogues Gallery Transplant: The Game

Granted. Edelgard learns the wrong lesson and believes she needs to conquer everything for true peace, succesfully expanding her rule from Fodlan to the entire multiverse.

I wish I could alter people's memories at will.

You gotcha! But first, I'm gonna alter your memory so that you have no idea that you can alter memories. As soon as you find out you can do that, which should take, I dunno... two lifetimes? You can go ham.

I wish Evangelion's original translations were more easily available.

Granted. The online translations come with intrusive malware and spyware, capable of getting past any VPN and network. And the physical copies have hidden government bugs and secret cameras and mics.

I wish for an English language guide that explains how this wish corruption process works, with no errors of any kind, engaging but not to the point of obsessiveness, will stay up to date with everything the genies come up with, is portable but big enough for me to see, invisible to everyone else, and can not be removed from my possession.

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Granted, but, as it clearly points out on page 1, only one wish can ever be made in all of history (all other wishes in this thread are in other continuities), and you just made it to get the book, so it's all just theoretical knowledge you can never use. And you also can't move this book to the other continuities of this thread.

I wish the answer was none of the above, and I was crouched in a hole like a mud-streaked fugitive.

Granted. You die from exposure from falling asleep in a random hole you found in the wilderness.

I wish it can rain literal versions of memes.

The League of Heroes

Granted, but soon you'll get tired of your umbrellas being ruined by falling badgers, mushrooms, and...porkchop sandwiches?

I wish Product X (let's call it something that rhymes with "Slifer 'Munk" and slap a number on the end or something) turned out to be exactly as awesome as the years of marketing hype promised.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted. Successors to that product are not as good and people become frustrated with the company for not putting in as much effort as they used to with that product.

---

I wish Chadwick Boseman did not die of cancer earlier this year.

This Pokemon Platinum sequel is FAR darker than I expected it to be. Mega Giratina here looks like something out of a DOOM game!

Was that this year? Fuck, 2020 has been crazier than me, and I'm mentally ill.

Granted. He died in a car accident instead.

I wish squids were real.

Ukrainian Red Cross

Granted. They take over the world.

I wish I could control the weather.

Granted. Now you are the cause of global warming.

I wish I could just go home.

GIVE ME YOUR FACE

Granted; you go home but then, you get evicted and you end up homeless.

I wish Megan from Drake & Josh had an episode where she got exposed to her parents for how evil she really is and stops being a Karma Houdini.

Edited by MatthewLMayfield on Dec 29th 2020 at 4:37:09 AM

Granted.

Unfortunately Status Quo Is God and the parents developed amnesia afterward, meaning Meagan once again gets away.

I wish people knew what a weasel Justin Trudeau really is.

I've got spurs, that jingle-jangle-jingle!

Granted. Trudeau literally becomes a weasel (Mustela nivalis) and now becomes the most popular world leader thanks to his newfound appearance.

---

I wish Jon Lovitz directed a horror film like other comedians in Hollywood have done in recent years.

Edited by clemont107 on Dec 29th 2020 at 6:13:36 AM

This Pokemon Platinum sequel is FAR darker than I expected it to be. Mega Giratina here looks like something out of a DOOM game!

Granted, his directing is So Bad, It's Horrible.

I wish Plastic Beach hadn’t been destroyed.

Edited by The_Dag on Dec 30th 2020 at 8:41:14 PM

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted. Every other album is destroyed instead.

I wish for the deliciousness of food to be directly (NOT INVERSELY) proportional to how healthy it is.

Ukrainian Red Cross

Granted. However, nutrient content and accessible nutrient content are not considered separate. As a result, uncooked tree leaves taste great, but still provide no real nutritional value. People binge eat tree leaves. Hostess and such companies go out of business, now that their low-nutrient-density foods are terrible tasting. The ensuing economic restructuring leaves millions out of work. This spirals rapidly, as the entire food-service industry collapses. The greatest economic panic in the history of humanity has begun, as the disaster spreads across the animal kingdom too. A mass extinction follows as only the nutrient densest food can be even considered remotely edible. Pandas starve to death, as bamboo contains almost no nutrients, available or otherwise. Meanwhile, salt is a vital nutrient, and it still makes everything taste better. Salt intake increases tenfold, and heart attacks and plain dehydration become the newest health menaces. People feast upon Husky Livers, because of the high vitamin content, and subsequently die of vitamin A poisoning. Meanwhile, many starve by living entirely off a diet of unprocessed tree leaves. All the newly amazingly delicious vegetables are wiped out in a massive blight, as entire new species of pests evolve just to consume them. Famine causes mass starvation, and soon, only preserved foods are left. Preserved foods, however, universally taste far worse than unpreserved ones now. The few surviving humans will never have delicious food again. In time, bacteria evolve specifically to extract nutrients from tree leaves. Disaster follows this too, as the bacteria overwhelm the plants. The mass extinction, known as the Genian-VB extinction, is the second worst in earth's history.

---

I wish for a sincere apology from the genie for granting these wishes that inevitably cause horrible things to happen.

Granted. You get your apology. The wishes have still been carried out anyway and there's nothing stopping the genie from resuming its dirty work.

––––

I wish video game remasters would stop having things getting cut out or dumbed down in a misguided attempt to appeal to a wider audience.

Forum signature.

Granted. Instead, everything is kept from the original, from the bugs, to the frustrating bosses/levels/quests, and content that would be seen as offensive today. Thanks to this, only those who played them originally and purists enjoy it, while others are turned off by it.

I wish all forms of speech were plagued with debilitating spelling, grammar, syntax, and pronunciation issues.

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Granted. Civilization collapses as people are unable to communicate clearly and the Grammar Nazis form enclaves where they punish even the slightest infraction - you are shot at dawn for splitting an infinitive.

I wish that all the tropers could have a good night's sleep and wake up refreshed the next day....

All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be a case on The First 48

Granted. While they're sleeping, all their homes get robbed.

I wish for capital gains to be taxed at the same rate as wages and salary.

Ukrainian Red Cross

Granted. Taxes for all of them become altered to the same extreme, resulting in the economy collapsing.

I wish I was the 42nd best Yu-Gi-Oh player in the world.