Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. You can't go anywhere without a mob of rabid fans screaming in your ears.

I wish to free the genie.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted. The genie tricks you into being trapped in their place.

I wished any video game and video game consoles costed 1 dollar each for me specifically.

^ Granted. You're now stuck with video game consoles made by Fred Fuchs.

I wish the genie punched himself in the face once with the fist attached to the end of his arm since birth.

Edited by Unnerving_Posterior on Feb 22nd 2020 at 6:18:30 AM

Granted. It doesn't change anything.

I wish to delete other people's stuff.

Granted. The "other people's stuff" you delete is vital research for curing cancer, reversing climate change, ending world hunger, and other things beneficial to humanity as a whole.

I wish I had wings.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted. Your Wings Do Nothing.

I wish time would appear to pass more slowly when I’m having fun and more quickly when I’m not.

It works, time slows down for your when you are having fun but when you are not having fun, time seems to move faster - and your age catches up with you.

You have an appointment with your dentist and age to death when the poor doctor tries to fill a cavity.

I wish could have worked on the Babylon 5 sets...

All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be a case on The First 48

Granted. You get the minorest of positions possible with crappy pay and very little time actually on set.

I wish for more vegetarian options in restaurants that aren't salads or sides.

Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside

Granted, enjoy eating a piece of tree trunk.

I wish I know how to use JSON to store and display objects.

You never said which objects. You suck yourself in forever.

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I wish more people would post on this thread.

Edited by jaketroper on Feb 24th 2020 at 3:02:54 PM

Granted. They derail it into a series of nasty political and religious arguments.

I wish to remain anonymous.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted. You are Ret-Gone.

I wish something good will happen to someone who deserves it.

Granted. To balance it out, something incredibly bad happens to you everytime a good thing happpens to someone who deserves it, such as injuries, illness, or going into debt.

I wish I could psychically control people's decisions.

^ Granted. You use your own pair of hands to do so, and there are bits of skull and brain all over the floor.

I wish I had the answer to this question: Why does kitten when they spin?

Granted. You have the answer on a small piece of paper inside a locked, indestructible safe that you don't have the combination for opening.

I wish I could abandon my weak human shape and revel in the power of the wolf.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted. This isn't a bodily transformation; you're just a wolf on all levels except physical.

I wish to abandon my weak useless body and instead revel in the power of Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost.

Granted. Governments around the world now want to study your powers, and everyone wants the multi-billion bounty on your head. Good job.

I wish to abandon my weak human shape and become the Herrscher of the Void.

Good.

Edited by hanwen1234 on Mar 2nd 2020 at 4:37:40 AM

If Sirin was the main protagonist... Kinda, anyway.

Granted. You are abruptly sent to an alternate reality where you are the Herrscher of the Void. Your friends and family are distraught by your sudden disappearance, never knowing where you went or finding closure.

I wish to become a Cyborg.

Umm... so, personally... this is the first time this has happened, so I'm a bit surprised. Only a centimetre away...

Granted. The US military makes you a cyborg, but you are controlled by a computer back at the Pentagon. Your body moves on its own and soon the computer will take control. The surgery was done without painkillers and the uniform they give you makes you look like an cheap action figure.

I wish I could have muffins made to order whenever I wanted one.

All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be a case on The First 48

Granted, they have arsenic in them.

I wish for 1kg of fine tobacco.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted. It's dropped from the sky and hits you on the head, concussing you.

I wish people wouldn't smoke.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

People suddenly stop smoking, and they start undergoing terrible, exaggerated withdrawal symptoms.

I wish that whoever grants this wish will have an amazing life.

Granted. In exchange, your life becomes absolutely terrible.

I wish I was acrobatic

Granted, you are now an acrobat but years of performing take their toll and you end up using a walker due to tendon damage.

I wish I had a Magical Girlfriend....

All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be a case on The First 48

Granted, she's SCP-2006-J.

I wish I was a cute girl.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!