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Granted. Killing you is a very crucial step for him to topple the United States.
I wish I was an expert swimmer.
Granted, you are now a fish. They are expert swimmers.
I wish all the pets could talk to their owners....
^ They technically already do. Just not by human standards.
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I wish those Micro Machine toys were popular again....
Granted. All other toys cease to exist.
I wish I knew the perfect question to ask anyone at any time.
Granted. But something always interupts them when they're about to answer said question, and they forget about it, causing your questions to never be answered.
I wish I could magically influence people's thoughts.
Granted, you influence them into wanting to kill you.
I wish to lose weight.
Edited by The_Dag on Feb 3rd 2020 at 9:57:33 AM
Granted. You're lifted a few meters into the air, reducing Earth's gravitational pull on you.
I wish I had a river I could skate away on.
Granted, but the ice is super thin, so as soon as you step on it or apply any pressure to it, it'll break.
I wish my imaginary friends were real.
Granted, however your imaginary friends are at the bottom of the Marina Trench.
I wish for a young and happy servent, whom willingly obeys all my commands in the spirit I intend, will never betray me, and protect me until we both perish from natural old age.
Granted. The servant's incredibly incompetent at his job, and despite their best intentions, does more harm than good for you.
I wish people would stop going out of their way to make their wishes as incorruptible as possible.
Granted, except the concept pops back up in their minds thanks to the Internet and they start attempting to do it again.
Only true evil would corrupt my next wish: I wish for a bacon-and-egg breakfast plate.
Edited by AHSVelocity on Feb 5th 2020 at 2:16:51 PM
Granted. You become the bacon-and-egg breakfast plate. Yes, I am evil
I wish for a unicorn
Edited by johannes4123 on Feb 5th 2020 at 10:18:43 AM
Granted. It's a Terraria unicorn.
I wish to be a genius.
Granted. You are a genius in how to pick your nose.
I wish I could make a profit off selling flavourless beige smoothies containing all nutrients required by the human body.
Granted, but the mafia gets word of it and has a problem with it, so now your money belongs to the mafia.
I wish I could live inside the internet.
Granted. You're viewed as malware, and promptly deleted.
I wish I could re-arrange my schedule for my college courses
Edited by Awesomekid42 on Feb 6th 2020 at 12:30:37 PM
Granted. If only you remembered to put those college courses back on your schedule, you'd have the credits you needed to graduate. Now you'll have to repeat the semester and try again.
I wish I remembered to clean out all the dust from my computer.
Granted.... and then you realized dust-mites were a thing.
I wish i had a really nice hat. (Not a cool one.)
Your really nice hat is so big that it is unable to fit on your own head, and keeps falling off randomly.
I wish I could teleport into my own body.
Edited by sabrina_diamond on Feb 7th 2020 at 1:21:09 AM
As you are already IN your own body, this causes a Divide by Zero and congratulations, you broke the universe.
I wish for a magic wand.
Granted. It's incredibly unstable, and you accidentally turn yourself into a frog.
I wish I could control my body functions.
Granted, you enter the Uncanny Valley as your mannerism and behaviors diverge from the rest of humanity.
I wish I could talk to snakes....
Granted. Everyone thinks you're the heir of Slytherin and now all your friends refuse to talk to you.
I wish the Cats movie didn't look so terrifying.
Granted, now it looks horrifying.
I wish Bernadetta was my GF.
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