Granted. The interface is so terrible that tropers are constantly making accidental telepathic edits that screw up everything.
I wish no one could talk over me.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.Granted. You talk over people a bit too much, and (because they literally can't talk over you) kill you.
I wish for some "good" content from Tony Zaret that would go viral.
Granted. The Content Goes Viral For The Wrong Reasons.
I Want To Yeet Someone.
(Insert Pun Here)Granted, they yeet you back to death.
I wish to necro some threads.
Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!Granted. Those threads are promptly taken over by spambots.
I wish to be the greatest artist in the world.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.Granted. Unfortunately you lose your arms and legs, preventing you from actually being able to make art.
I wish I could undo past mistakes I've made.
Granted. Your mistakes wound up benefiting humanity.
I wish for a way that playing my music, even at the loudest volume, wouldn't wake anyone up.
Granted, your music makes people sleepwalk and they collectively murder you with hacksaws while they're still unconscious.
I wish good anime games existed.
Well, that’d be jus’ a waste. Why would ya want to deprive the world of such anomaly as yourself?Granted. They're all way too expensive for you.
I wish they all could be California girls.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.Granted, but they're all Valley Girls.
I wish I could ACT LIKE A MAN!
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!Granted. You are as swift as a coursing river, meaning that you always travel at exactly 10 miles per hour no matter what, and you cannot slow down or speed up; you have all the force of a great typhoon, meaning that you exert 941 hPa of force at all times; you have all the strength of a raging fire, meaning that you destroy fifty square miles of land per year without meaning to and you have no way of stopping this; and you are as mysterious as the dark side of the moon, which means that no one knows who you are and therefore you have no friends.
I wish I could be Caitlin Snow.
The genie doesn't know who that is and he turns you into a hideous mixture of Katniss Everdeen and President Snow.
I wish for candy.
Merry Chriztmaz ya filthy animals!Granted, it’s expired.
I wish I had a Blue Beetle Scarab that wasn’t evil and it didn’t hurt.
If there's a book you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. Toni MorrisonGranted, it kills you with no pain.
I wish I was in New York.
Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!Granted. You spend a day in New York, but then you decide that you're "going back to Cali...Cali...Cali..." Mayor DeBlasio rebuffs your plans to leave with just four words: "I don't think so."
I wish Static and/or Black Lightning appeared as prominent characters in the next Injustice game or comic book.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!Granted. There's only one copy of it, and it costs $10,000,000,000,000,999,999.99 to even get a torn copy of a single page/sprite. And there's one hundred pages and one thousand times more that for sprits. And some rich kid bought within the last twelve seconds.
I wish for $10,000,000,000,000,999,999.98.
Granted. It's all counterfeit, which is discovered almost immediately. Enjoy prison.
I wish my brother could control his temper.
Granted, your brother becomes a peaceful monk and won't stop lecturing your family about it.
As I carry the lamp home, I sing a bawdy cadence from my army days:
"I wish that all the ladies were bells in a tower/if I was a hunchback, I'd bang'em every hour"
Oh, Genie, ol'pal, there is know way you could mistake that for a wish right? RIGHT???
All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be a case on The First 48Granted. However, you did not specify to be the hunchback, and the women are morphed into bell shapes but still retain their human flesh and its characteristics (they also yell really loudly when struck, so there's a still fringe use).
I wish I could turn my eyes off and on at will, allowing me to give them a break in overly bright areas.
Timers to measure time, thermometers to measure thermomets, mometers to measure mom, and measuring containers to measure measurements.Granted. You fall asleep whenever the lights are too bright.
I wish to be Caitlin Snow, and that said genie knows exactly who she is.
Granted. Welcome to the real world where nobody but a bunch of comic book nerds know you, Caitlin.
I wish I had a giant frog as a mode of transportation.
It's been 3000 years…Granted. You are one. Have fun with being an animal!
I wish to be more social.
Granted. You're overly chummy, to the point where it makes everybody else uncomfortable to be around you.
I wish I could get as drunk as I wanted without it causing any damage to my body.
Edited by Awesomekid42 on Oct 26th 2019 at 1:22:42 PM
Granted, alcohol still causes damage to your mind and you get robbed without knowing it because you're still dizzy to notice anything.
I wish I can go to office by driving a tank.
Granted - it's a flop and Disney only releases it on Disney+ every February 29th.
I wish tropers could access TV Tropes with their minds....
Edited by TairaMai on Oct 18th 2019 at 9:59:07 PM
All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be a case on The First 48