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GoggleFox rrrrrrrrr from Acadia, yo. Since: Jul, 2009
rrrrrrrrr
#501: Oct 5th 2009 at 9:09:39 AM

This man is the uber-creeper. That is all you need to know to understand his mindset.

Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.
Nomic Exitus Acta Probat from beyond the Void Since: Jan, 2001
Exitus Acta Probat
#502: Oct 5th 2009 at 9:23:09 AM

Do you have to roll a decomposition check after you die? Because, I'd totally expect him to do that.

Miijhal Since: Jul, 2011
#503: Oct 5th 2009 at 10:13:44 AM

@EI: I really, really do not want to rummage through Google to find it.

However, we do have a trope for it: Death By Sex.

Haven Planescape Hijack Since: Jan, 2001
Planescape Hijack
#504: Oct 5th 2009 at 10:24:59 AM

It also says that even after death, the corpse continues to orgasm,

Imagine a FATAL Zombie Apocalypse. Perpetually orgasming zombies, where there's a significant risk of getting the virus from ejaculate...

Night of the Little Death.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
Wraith_Magus Bibliophiliac Since: Jun, 2009
Bibliophiliac
#505: Oct 5th 2009 at 11:31:03 AM

Miijhal: I think you mean Out with a Bang. Death By Sex merely makes someone more vulnerable to serial killers after having sex.

Miijhal Since: Jul, 2011
#506: Oct 5th 2009 at 11:40:29 AM

Ah. Yeah. I skimmed Death By Sex at 7 in the morning, so...

(And apparently a similar incident to the one I was thinking of is the second to last example on Out with a Bang)

edited 5th Oct '09 11:42:57 AM by Miijhal

FreezairForALimitedTime Responsible adult from Planet Claire Since: Jan, 2001
Responsible adult
#507: Oct 5th 2009 at 2:27:41 PM

@Haven: Wah wah wah waaaaaah.

@Thread: There is, apparently, a condition which makes people orgasm continuously; it is actually apparently quite painful. However, as others have said, browsing Google for info on such a thing seems... ill-advised.

"Proto-Indo-European makes the damnedest words related. It's great. It's the Kevin Bacon of etymology." ~Madrugada
Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest Since: Apr, 2009
#508: Oct 5th 2009 at 5:33:52 PM

This doesn't seem that bad. It's still terrible, but not that bad.

oh my god please don't hurt me *runs*

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
polymphus Since: Dec, 2019
#509: Oct 5th 2009 at 8:42:33 PM

"Night of the Little Death."

That is simultaneously the best and worst pun every written. Good Sir, I owe you a beer which I will them immediately slap out of your hands.

SpikedBlade Hii~ from Texas, Y'all Since: Jan, 2001
Hii~
#510: Oct 6th 2009 at 11:00:03 AM

...What a great place to put my first post(I think). Simply wonderful. I lurked a bit out of curiosity, to see how bad FATAL really was. Short Answer? OW.

((Fun fact, I was reading this and an ad for Lovecraft music showed up. How appropriate.)

Insanity is fun to watch. Even better to become.
Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR Since: Jan, 2001
Embrace the mindscrew
#511: Oct 6th 2009 at 11:03:26 AM

I'd hate to see Aklo tainted by this.

Say...

What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.
Kinkajou I'm Only Sleeping Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Hiding
I'm Only Sleeping
#512: Oct 7th 2009 at 6:42:50 AM

What else has Byron Hall's infantile mind cooked up?

INT is knowing a tomato is a fruit. WIS is knowing it doesn't belong in a fruit salad. CHA is convincing people that it does.
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#513: Oct 9th 2009 at 10:30:05 PM

Awesome thread. I don't think I've laughed this uproariously since...well...ever. Everyone has been awarded a Crowning Moment Of Funny. I shall pirate FATAL at the next opportunity (read: when not using a university computer).

Charlatan Since: Mar, 2011
#514: Oct 9th 2009 at 11:58:50 PM

Do you have to roll a decomposition check after you die? Because, I'd totally expect him to do that.

I lol'ed hard.

Wraith_Magus Bibliophiliac Since: Jun, 2009
Bibliophiliac
#515: Oct 10th 2009 at 1:49:55 PM

Sadly, no rolling for decomposition. Instead, you get treated to lines like the following:

"At this time, several different insects are attracted to the corpse, namely blowflies and flesh flies. The female blow flies lay their eggs on the body, espcially around the natural orifices such as the nose, eyes, ears, vagina, anus, and penis."

So, yes, even maggots are fair game in Byron Hall's orifice fixation.

WilliamWideWeb (weaving) Since: Jan, 2001
(weaving)
#516: Oct 10th 2009 at 2:49:24 PM

The penis is an orifice?

I guess the urethra counts

edited 10th Oct '09 2:50:18 PM by WilliamWideWeb

SHIKI is dead.
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#517: Oct 10th 2009 at 4:57:45 PM

Today's question - the "hierophant" and "druid" classes are the priest classes, right? And they're only open to men, is that what I'm getting from Hall's "rebuttal"?

And there's a punishment for slandering a priestess?

Is there a priestess class, or are we dealing with yet another case of REALISTARDATION?

Wraith_Magus Bibliophiliac Since: Jun, 2009
Bibliophiliac
#518: Oct 13th 2009 at 3:08:16 PM

Sorry, I haven't been on the forums for a while, so this thing has kind of died off...

Heirophants can be female, so those are the priestesses. I'd assume that he'd be doing something based off of actual Greco-Roman Gods and Goddesses, and having a gender division between the priesthood based upon which deity you were talking about. (I.E. Artemis / Diana was served by priestesses, while Zeus / Jupiter would be served by male priests.) This, however, is a guess, becuase Hall just says to refer to a book on deities that doesn't seem to exist.

JBridge null from Alameda, CA Since: Jan, 2001
null
#519: Oct 13th 2009 at 6:26:18 PM

What book is that? Maybe I could look it up.

There's no space in the name.
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#520: Oct 13th 2009 at 6:38:26 PM

Right. OK, so Burnout was wrong in the "rebuttal" when saying, and I quote:

->"With exception of very few, like Hierophant and Druid, a female can choose to be any occupation she so desires..."

Based on Wraith's input, I'd say Burnout was trying to say that women can only be hierophants of specific gods, but managed to bungle it. Par for the course, really.

edited 13th Oct '09 6:38:57 PM by Count Dorku

Wraith_Magus Bibliophiliac Since: Jun, 2009
Bibliophiliac
#521: Oct 13th 2009 at 6:58:10 PM

Well, that division between male and female priests are based on historic grounds, which isn't strictly REALISTIMISOGYNY grounds. It's just a guess, considering the raging hard-on Hall has for Caligulan Rome. Of course, Hall could prove me wrong about that, and make every God some kind of giant gaggle of orifices and penises.

J Bridge: Grimoire Genitoris. I have "the pdf" for it, but it's only 5 pages long, So Yeah.

JBridge null from Alameda, CA Since: Jan, 2001
null
#522: Oct 13th 2009 at 11:12:58 PM

Could you email me that .pdf? I want to see just what this thing is.

edited 13th Oct '09 11:14:40 PM by JBridge

There's no space in the name.
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#523: Oct 14th 2009 at 1:45:34 AM

Well, it's that guess vs. assuming not even Burnout knows how FATAL works. Which...actually wouldn't surprise me too much, now that I think about it. I mean, he is responsible for the Magical Genital Fruit That Changes Your Stats, so I should have suspected a healthy dose of stupidity from the start...

DrRockopolis Rock On from Barsoom Since: Sep, 2009
Rock On
#524: Oct 14th 2009 at 12:54:42 PM

Wow...this game...this is inexcusable. I read the thread in a couple days, and I think it's further damaged my mind.

Although, there was actually a rather entertaining short manga with the Night of the Little Death premise.

Wow, this is a pretty terrible first post, huh?

[[tvtropes.org/pmwiki/lb_i.php?lb_id=12919183980B30760200 Liveblog of]] John Carter Of Mars
HulkHogan Since: Dec, 2009
#525: Oct 14th 2009 at 9:09:07 PM

Dragon Quest FATAL Style. (With bad fake middle-english for added REALSIMTOUCHINGYOURSELFASYOUROLLDICE

Princess: DOST THOU FUCK ME?
You: NO
Princess: BUT THOU MUST
You: NO
Princess: BUT THOU MUST
You: NO
Princess: BUT THOU MUST
You: YES
PRINCESS: DEFLOWER ME
NARRATOR: YOU ARE NOW UNHAPPILY MARRIED
KING: HERO ,THOU MUST CASTETH 100 MORE RITUALS IN COMBAT TO ATTAIN THE LEVEL OF 2\\ PRINCESS, THOU MUST GIVETH 23 MORE HANDJOBS TO ATTAIN THE LEVEL OF 3
A SLIME DRAWS NEAR
THOU ATTACKETH THE SLIME STRIKING IT'S COLON WITH A CRITICAL BLOW
THOU ART SPLATERED IN 4 CHUNKS OF FAECES (WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?)
AN EJACULATING ZOMBIE DRAWS NEAR
YOU FLEE\\

edited 14th Oct '09 9:13:34 PM by Hulk Hogan


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