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Leanan Laughing Mad from Rokkenjima Since: Dec, 1969
#1: Jun 5th 2010 at 5:21:45 PM

The relevant pages

One poster posts an object and setting (Rough, Coarse, 1:1, fine, very fine). The next poster tells us the result.

For Example:

Alice: A copy of Twilight Setting: 1:1

Bob: The doors open to reveal a steaming pile of excrement.

Here goes:

A Nintendo DS Setting: Fine

WHO WANTS STAKE? *CACKLE*CACKLE*
Colonial1.1 Purveyor of Obscurity from The Marvelous River City (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Purveyor of Obscurity
#2: Jun 5th 2010 at 5:55:47 PM

An assortment of Mario, Lo Z, and Metroid cartridges.

War and Peace/// Setting: Fine.

"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."
Leanan Laughing Mad from Rokkenjima Since: Dec, 1969
#3: Jun 5th 2010 at 6:00:58 PM

A copy of The Divine Comedy

A 1 TB hard drive fulla porn Setting: Very Fine.

WHO WANTS STAKE? *CACKLE*CACKLE*
Colonial1.1 Purveyor of Obscurity from The Marvelous River City (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Purveyor of Obscurity
#4: Jun 5th 2010 at 6:08:40 PM

[DATA EXPUNGED]

Dr.Clef: Didn't I tell you this was a bad idea? Wow, just wow.

All seven Harry Potter books. Setting: fine

"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."
Gourmetknife Self-proclaimed Liar from Antarctica Since: May, 2010
Self-proclaimed Liar
#5: Jun 5th 2010 at 7:13:32 PM

A single, large hardcover book titled "Harry potter, The abridged series". It appears to be shorter than the original series.

Input: The entire Discography of Dream Theater, Metallica, Yes, Rush, Iron Maiden, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Muse, Pendulum, and The Beatles.

One Laptop.

One High-Fidelity Sound System.

Setting: Very Fine

You liar.
Eatdembeanz The Magical Fruitbasket from The Pantry Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Love is for the living, Sal
The Magical Fruitbasket
#6: Jun 5th 2010 at 7:47:32 PM

Result: [Data Expunged] several class D personnel had to be terminated. Incineration Suggested

Input: SCP-682

Setting: Very Fine

SpainSun Laugh it off, everybody from Somewhere Beyond Here Since: Jan, 2010
Laugh it off, everybody
#7: Jun 5th 2010 at 7:51:57 PM

Result: [DATA EXPUNGED]

Addendum: Never do that again. EVER. -Dr. ——-

Input: All of the Harry Potter books

Setting: Very Fine

I spread my wings and I learn how to fly....
Eatdembeanz The Magical Fruitbasket from The Pantry Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Love is for the living, Sal
The Magical Fruitbasket
#8: Jun 5th 2010 at 7:54:45 PM

Output: My Immortal

Notes: I think this machine's just fucking with us now. -Dr. Andronuts

Input: One Playboy magazine

Setting: 1:1

SpainSun Laugh it off, everybody from Somewhere Beyond Here Since: Jan, 2010
Laugh it off, everybody
#9: Jun 5th 2010 at 7:56:27 PM

Output: One Hustler magazine.

Input: Seven Onions, and a chimp.

Setting: 1:1

I spread my wings and I learn how to fly....
Colonial1.1 Purveyor of Obscurity from The Marvelous River City (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Purveyor of Obscurity
#10: Jun 5th 2010 at 7:57:22 PM

^^Output: One playboy magazine, different edition.

^ Output: [DATA EXPUNGED] Dr.——: What did O-5 say about biological tests again?

Input: A red and white toy sailboat. Setting: Very Fine.

edited 5th Jun '10 7:59:11 PM by Colonial1.1

"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."
Elle Since: Jan, 2001
#11: Jun 5th 2010 at 7:59:12 PM

(Ninja'd, reply kept for posterity)  *

Result: A miniature, but fully functional opulent luxury yacht.

Input: 1 household spider plant in a clay pot with standard potting soil.

Setting: Very Fine

edited 5th Jun '10 8:01:24 PM by Elle

Colonial1.1 Purveyor of Obscurity from The Marvelous River City (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Purveyor of Obscurity
#12: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:00:15 PM

Oi, what's the output for the sailboat?

Hello?

edited 5th Jun '10 8:00:56 PM by Colonial1.1

"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."
SpainSun Laugh it off, everybody from Somewhere Beyond Here Since: Jan, 2010
Laugh it off, everybody
#13: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:00:25 PM

Output: A brass sculpture of the same plant.

Input: A can of Lays' Stackers

Setting: Coarse.

I spread my wings and I learn how to fly....
Colonial1.1 Purveyor of Obscurity from The Marvelous River City (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Purveyor of Obscurity
#14: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:01:57 PM

Output: component ingredients for the chips.

Input: Mac OS X Laptop computer. Setting: Fine.

"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."
Eatdembeanz The Magical Fruitbasket from The Pantry Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Love is for the living, Sal
The Magical Fruitbasket
#15: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:03:31 PM

(Colonial) Output: Fully functional boat, similar to the Hot Wheels experiment.

(Spain Sun) Output: One nondescript can, one circular piece of paper, ink, and the ingredients that go into a Lays' Stacker.

Input: One copy of Super Smash Brothers.

Setting: Fine

SpainSun Laugh it off, everybody from Somewhere Beyond Here Since: Jan, 2010
Laugh it off, everybody
#16: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:04:22 PM

^^Output: AlienTM Computer, fully functional. Has roughly 400% memory capacity of a standard computer of this make and model.

^Output: Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii.

Input: A box of assorted minerals

Setting: Very fine

edited 5th Jun '10 8:05:17 PM by SpainSun

I spread my wings and I learn how to fly....
Colonial1.1 Purveyor of Obscurity from The Marvelous River City (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Purveyor of Obscurity
#17: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:05:13 PM

^^Output: Super Smash Bros Melee. ^ Output: Gemstone doghouse of exquisite quality.

Input: lego replica of death star. Setting: 1/1,

edited 5th Jun '10 8:06:06 PM by Colonial1.1

"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."
newtonthenewt Since: Jul, 2009
#18: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:10:33 PM

Output: 1 Lego replica of Death Egg. Not a licensed Lego model.

Input: 1 toilet. (setting: fine)

She's playing with fire! He's not ready for Nibbly Pig!
RTHSFF Kori Dómtlandsson Since: Feb, 2010
Kori Dómtlandsson
#19: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:11:54 PM

^^ Output: Wooden sculpture of the Death Star

^ Output: 1 x toilet with some automated functions

Input: 1 x M134 minigun, unloaded
Setting: Very Fine

edited 5th Jun '10 8:20:19 PM by RTHSFF

"Meet 18th century English gentlewoman Kimiko Achmadsdottir and her brother-in-law Wladyslaw bin Vivianus." - annebeeche
Eatdembeanz The Magical Fruitbasket from The Pantry Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Love is for the living, Sal
The Magical Fruitbasket
#20: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:17:48 PM

Output: Exact same model of minigun. When fired, produced explosive projectiles that seem to disintegrate everything they touch. Cause of breached containment of [Data Expunged] SCPs

Input: Dr. Clef

Setting: Very Fine.

edited 5th Jun '10 8:19:24 PM by Eatdembeanz

Colonial1.1 Purveyor of Obscurity from The Marvelous River City (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Purveyor of Obscurity
#21: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:21:13 PM

EDITING BREACH//Hypothetical///// Output: Angelic figure.

Input: a replica Roman legionary helmet. Setting: Very fine.

"He could not know it. For it was not all a joke."
Eatdembeanz The Magical Fruitbasket from The Pantry Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Love is for the living, Sal
The Magical Fruitbasket
#22: Jun 5th 2010 at 8:22:34 PM

Output: SCP-825

Notes: Oh shit! -Dr. Banner

Input: SCP-001 (Sheaf of Papers)

Setting: Coarse

edited 5th Jun '10 8:24:29 PM by Eatdembeanz

Noaqiyeum we must dissent (it/they) from across the gulf of space (Time Abyss) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
we must dissent (it/they)
#23: Jun 5th 2010 at 10:36:03 PM

Output: A pile of wood chips. Species of origin unknown.

Input: Distilled water.

Setting: Awesome Very Fine

ERROR: The current state of the world is unacceptable. Save anyway? YES/NO
rumetzen Since: Jan, 2010
#24: Jun 5th 2010 at 10:54:51 PM

Output- One (1) blue plastic water bottle. Bottle contains a seemingly limitless supply of distilled water, as long as the cap is kept on.

Input- Two (2) Packs of Juicy Fruit bubble gum
Setting: Course

edited 5th Jun '10 10:58:27 PM by rumetzen

Eatdembeanz The Magical Fruitbasket from The Pantry Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Love is for the living, Sal
The Magical Fruitbasket
#25: Jun 5th 2010 at 11:37:11 PM

Output: Cup of slurry. Tests show it to be made primarily from pig bones.

Addendum: Wait, what? - Dr. Schadenfreude

Input: One packet of Oreos

Setting: Fine


Total posts: 1,344
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