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What offends you about the previous soup?

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REMINDER: THE BOTTOM OF THE YOUR POST IS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE WAITER. THE TOP OF YOUR POST IS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE CUSTOMER.

You asked for this, not me...

Okay! This is a parody thread to the infamous "What offends you about the previous post" thread. This is also somewhat inspired by this thread here. Basically, the above poster mentions a soup with whatever in it and gives it to the below poster. The below poster then has to find something about it that they don't like, and gripe on it. I hope you get the gist, so let's get this started since parody threads usually only stay popular for about a week or two.


Philips CD-i soup.

Edited by BBGunman on Apr 30th 2025 at 3:52:33 AM

Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#51: May 1st 2025 at 3:35:25 AM

Like, okay, yes, I get that this is exactly what I ordered, but are you REALLY so certain you didn't have Raspberry Tau Soup instead? It's still rounding things out, except this time, you get to skip some steps, or some shit, I dunno.


Alright, sir, here's that chicken gnocchi soup, for you, and the slew of mafioso henchmen who totally didn't at all silently demand that we get the soup out in a timely manner, what are you talking about, valued customer?

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
BBGunman CHAINSAW! from yes Since: Aug, 2024 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
CHAINSAW!
#52: May 1st 2025 at 5:40:33 AM

I'm not blind. I know the mafia when I see them.


Okay customer, what was wrong with your sewer-water soup?

Go watch the new Chainsaw Man movie. This is a threat.
TheOther36 What It Sounds Like!Huntrix from Namsan Tower, Seoul Since: Apr, 2022 Relationship Status: Wanna dance with somebody
What It Sounds Like!Huntrix
#53: May 1st 2025 at 6:42:22 AM

Hold on, is that a slice of pizza, a strand of rat hair, a drop of mutagen, and a turtle's scute?

Now try our brand new colour out of space soup!

When darkness meets the light, this is what it sounds like!
SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#54: May 1st 2025 at 9:38:00 AM

Hm, this is actually pretty nice...if it wasn't for the fact that I'm starting to feel fucking SICK from this! Lemme guess, you probably just bottled up gamma radiation, actually, didn't you!


Here's your SoupGrave made out of stewed bird and ice...

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#55: May 1st 2025 at 9:45:32 AM

...Dude.


Alright, customer, have a soup with a side of Danzig, playing "Mother".

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
BBGunman CHAINSAW! from yes Since: Aug, 2024 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
CHAINSAW!
#56: May 1st 2025 at 9:52:47 AM

Hey... Isn't that the Nintendo RPG game? I hate that game!


Alright, here's your Dogecoin soup!

Go watch the new Chainsaw Man movie. This is a threat.
Solaris2022 Guy Incognito Since: Nov, 2022
Guy Incognito
#57: May 1st 2025 at 12:43:11 PM

I saide Doggone soup! The two don't even sound alike!


Here's your invisible soup.

MatthewLMayfield from wherever he damn well pleases (Captain) Relationship Status: I wanna know what love is
#58: May 1st 2025 at 1:10:08 PM

How is it I can't see it, but it still goes to my thighs?

We ran out of soup, so we boiled some Mountain Dew.

Yamanekko Esnupi from atop the red doghouse Since: Sep, 2024 Relationship Status: Whoa, they're bisexual! I didn't know that!
Esnupi
#59: May 1st 2025 at 1:31:19 PM

YOU BOILED SOME—


I give up. Here’s your tomato soup. Do you want a grilled cheese with it?

Always remember to hydrate! (A message from Snoopy)
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#60: May 1st 2025 at 1:51:20 PM

...It's not you, or the sandwich or soup, it's me. I forgot to take Imodium. This will not go down well at all, it just won't, and if I eat this, I might honestly blame you for it.


Alright, cherished customer, here's that New England Clam Chowder, without Chowder jokes this time.

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
BBGunman CHAINSAW! from yes Since: Aug, 2024 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
CHAINSAW!
#61: May 1st 2025 at 2:57:22 PM

I DIDN'T ORDER NEW ENGLAND CLAM CHOWDER; I ORDERED OLD ENGLAND CLAM CHOWDER!!!!


Alright, here's your soup with the poiso- uh... I mean... uh...

H-here's your grape juice soup. heh. Yeah. Th-that's totally what it is, yeah.

Go watch the new Chainsaw Man movie. This is a threat.
MatthewLMayfield from wherever he damn well pleases (Captain) Relationship Status: I wanna know what love is
#62: May 1st 2025 at 3:24:10 PM

Care to taste-test it for me?

Here's your cream of chicken soup. So freshly made, it still has a beak.

Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#63: May 1st 2025 at 3:45:30 PM

WHO WOULD WANT TO EAT A BEAK LIKE THIS?!?

OOC Aside: Okay, but joking aside, I'm willing to bet you that some soup recipes, or some things to that effect, actually do include the beaks in the recipe. There's certain dishes that include everything as an ingredient... so much so, the kitchen sink might honestly be included.


Alright, valued customer, here you go, a soup that goes on a longwinded tangent.

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
BBGunman CHAINSAW! from yes Since: Aug, 2024 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
CHAINSAW!
#64: May 1st 2025 at 5:01:05 PM

How dare you give me a soup that reminds me of the troper Brain-Woman17!


Here's your soup. And no, it won't stop moaning. Even after you digest it, you'll still be able to hear it. You won't be able to get rid of it until you poop all of it out. Anyway, enjoy!

Go watch the new Chainsaw Man movie. This is a threat.
LilyTheLitten Inspector Irratino my beloved ❤️ from The Investigation Institute Since: Apr, 2020 Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
Inspector Irratino my beloved ❤️
#65: May 1st 2025 at 5:40:37 PM

Do I even need to say anything here? :P


Here's your soup! Made with all my heart and soul...and lungs...and kidneys...and a couple other organs.

"Look inside yourself and to the stars; there, you will find your answers."
MatthewLMayfield from wherever he damn well pleases (Captain) Relationship Status: I wanna know what love is
#66: May 1st 2025 at 5:44:59 PM

...you forgot the liver! (smashes soup into the waiter's face)

Here's your soup, made from the bread crumbs out of our toaster, garnished with butter.

BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#67: May 1st 2025 at 6:10:02 PM

I’m out of here because I never thought someone would try to mix the two in this way.

Here’s your soup, filled to the brim with coconut like you asked. (It’s Thai coconut shrimp soup btw.)

Edited by BlankBlankness on May 1st 2025 at 8:10:16 AM

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
BBGunman CHAINSAW! from yes Since: Aug, 2024 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
CHAINSAW!
#68: May 1st 2025 at 7:34:39 PM

I MEANT REAL COCONUT YOU STUPID FU-


Here's your courts summons soup. Consider yourself served, as in both definitions.

Go watch the new Chainsaw Man movie. This is a threat.
SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#69: May 1st 2025 at 10:09:51 PM

Was this a ploy just to arrest me!? What crime did I commit!? I demand to see my lawyer!


Your Soup de Gracenote  sir...

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
Solaris2022 Guy Incognito Since: Nov, 2022
Guy Incognito
#70: May 1st 2025 at 11:12:49 PM

You fool! You pronounced it wrong! The pun is ruined!


Here's your Magikarp Soup with extra Magikarp.

BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#71: May 1st 2025 at 11:18:48 PM

Magikarp is the weakest Pokémon. Weaker monsters aren’t as gourmet as powerful ones.

Here’s your coupe soup! (Based on this Farmers Insurance commercial)

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
BBGunman CHAINSAW! from yes Since: Aug, 2024 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
CHAINSAW!
#72: May 3rd 2025 at 12:06:30 PM

No. Just no.


Alright, here's your rizzler soup, guaranteed to give you infinite W skibidi rizz!

Edited by BBGunman on May 3rd 2025 at 2:06:42 PM

Go watch the new Chainsaw Man movie. This is a threat.
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
LilyTheLitten Inspector Irratino my beloved ❤️ from The Investigation Institute Since: Apr, 2020 Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
Inspector Irratino my beloved ❤️
#74: May 3rd 2025 at 12:20:25 PM

You idiot! I wanted lasagna soup!


Here you go, a perfectly ordinary soup that absolutely won't allow an interdimensional triangle access to your mind. Not. At. All.

"Look inside yourself and to the stars; there, you will find your answers."
BBGunman CHAINSAW! from yes Since: Aug, 2024 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
CHAINSAW!
#75: May 3rd 2025 at 12:21:49 PM

I've seen Gravity Falls, I want a fuckin' refund.


Alright. Here's your Cash Banocca soup.

Edited by BBGunman on May 3rd 2025 at 2:22:16 PM

Go watch the new Chainsaw Man movie. This is a threat.

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