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The21zonz I Can't Believe It's Not Elijah! from England Since: Oct, 2024 Relationship Status: Hiding
I Can't Believe It's Not Elijah!
#276: Feb 19th 2025 at 2:17:01 PM

Oh, Crap! What do I do!? I’m a Shy Guy!

TNP is also a Shy Guy.

UPDATE FOR RING RACERS ADDON IS OUT
clemont107 Taunie from Lumiose City, Kalos (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Taunie
#277: Feb 19th 2025 at 2:28:24 PM

Somewhat, but also a more Cynical Guy.


TNP wants chibi video game remakes for everything.

"Great, now this gal named Dawn is stalking me and complaining about no Sinnoh Megas! It's getting on my nerves!" - Taunie
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
The_Dag Past Self in a Mirror from Bad to Worse (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: Snooping as usual
Past Self in a Mirror
#281: Feb 19th 2025 at 7:09:49 PM

The party’s just getting started.

TNP’s name is Walter Hartwell White. They live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is their confession. If you're watching this tape, TNP’s probably dead, murdered by their brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using them as his chemist. Shortly after TNP’s 50th birthday, Hank came to them with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that they use their use chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. They were… astounded, they… they always thought that Hank was a very moral man and they were… thrown, confused, but they were also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. They were reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt their family. Hank took them on a ride along, and showed TNP just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And TNP was weak. They didn't want their family to go into financial ruin so they agreed. Every day, TNP thinks back at that moment with regret. TNP quickly realized that they was in way over their head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Gustavo Fring, a businessman. Hank essentially sold them into servitude to this man, and when they tried to quit, Fring threatened TNP’s family. They didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling out. From what TNP can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Fring flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Fring was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on TNP’s brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and the former wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by TNP, and he gave them no option in it. TNP has often contemplated suicide, but is a coward. They wanted to go to the police, but were frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA, and about that time, to keep them in line, he took TNP’s children from them. For 3 months he kept them. TNP’s wife, who up until that point, had no idea of TNP’s criminal activities, was horrified to learn what they had done, why Hank had taken the two’s children. They were both scared. TNP was in Hell, they hated themselves for what they had brought upon their family. Recently, they tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave them this. TNP can’t take this anymore. They live in fear every day that Hank will kill them or worse, hurt their family. They... All TNP could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#282: Feb 19th 2025 at 7:13:26 PM

Enough with the Overly Long Gags.


The Next Poster is Sonic the Hedgehog!

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#283: Feb 19th 2025 at 7:15:12 PM

Please, I'm his archnemesis, DR. JULIAN IVO "EGGMAN" ROBOTNIK!!! AND THOSE CHAOS EMERALDS WILL BE MINE!!!


TNP is tempted to paste a really fucking long copypasta for their post.

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
Auchical Fluffy goat prince (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: I miss my wife, Tails
Fluffy goat prince
#284: Feb 19th 2025 at 7:30:16 PM

"Unfortunate" doesn't begin to describe my series, this game rewards blind luck and nothing else, I am beyond convinced at this point. After getting completely tooled by scheduling with my opponent changing times on me last minute and refusing to provide confirmation prior to the day of the match as to play times, losing this way somehow felt even worse than I had thought possible. My preparation was superior, my play was superior, and I lost, so I don't see a reason to continue engaging in an activity where what is within my control is overwhelmingly outweighed by what is not.

I am done with competitive Pokemon, and you won't get a fond farewell. This community is infected to its roots with a degenerative disease that grows stronger over time but stops short of killing its host. Tournaments used to have a competitive spirit at their heart, this has been transplanted and replaced with an artificial organ that feeds on vitriol and mockery from insecure little boys that heckle by the sidelines and tear each other to shreds over scraps of attention. The environment we fostered has trapped us all like this in a vicious cycle, and escaping it requires acceptance of the harshest reality we all scramble to explain away, that none of the countless straining efforts we put ourselves through here will ever amount to one single shining glimmer of significance. I would make this the end, but World Cup is still ongoing, and I would never leave so many great friends out to dry, so I'll suffer through a few more games for them.

One last thing before I leave you all to react with disdain, ridicule, and self-righteous fervor, before you do everything in your power to minimize my words and thoughts, box them up and shove them to some cobwebbed corner of your memory, and hope they disappear forever as a stain on your finite time ground to dust. From this moment on, nothing you say matters to me. The foulest insults you hurl with intent to wound will calmly settle at the earth before my feet, and the venom you spit will bring all the pain of a warm summer breeze. You are less than anything you can conceive, while I carry on, brimming with joy distilled from detachment.


TNP has a platypus controlling them.

♫ "I look, and what do I see..." ♫
Memer999 da roba from The Wild East Since: Nov, 2020 Relationship Status: Chocolate!
TheScratcher7 it's normal :/ from my personal limbo (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: Serial head-patter
Puttotheangel23 The Speaker Of God from Heaven (Private) Relationship Status: Desperate
The Speaker Of God
#287: Feb 20th 2025 at 8:04:19 PM

Lies, I have 1/2 of an aura!

TNP has gone Scottish!

One seeks an answer that one cannot grant her, You’re looking for light only you can ignite.
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#288: Feb 20th 2025 at 8:06:26 PM

Nah, actually I'm Irish.


The Next Poster has sold their soul to somebody.

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
Eisner 🏳‍⚧she/they pronouns please🏳‍⚧ from the Deepsea Metro (Private) Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
🏳‍⚧she/they pronouns please🏳‍⚧
#289: Feb 20th 2025 at 8:07:56 PM

yeah, that guy down the street.


TNP, in this position, sacrifices THE ROOOOOKKK!!!!!

Welcome, my little friend! Or should I say...friends?
alateli " oh , uh .. 'blanket'." from Living Room (Apprentice) Relationship Status: Brewing the love potion
" oh , uh .. 'blanket'."
#290: Feb 21st 2025 at 6:04:13 AM

That's right. You guessed it.


TNP wants 40 foot tall women with cat features to step on them.

Well if it isn't my favorite human ..!
The_Dag Past Self in a Mirror from Bad to Worse (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: Snooping as usual
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#292: Feb 21st 2025 at 6:28:10 AM

Actually more of a sweatshirt that my dad and stepmom bought while up at Tennessee, and the puke was from drinking too much whiskey too fast… that actually happened last Saturday. No, I'm not proud of that, and I've been going cold turkey for a little while since that point.


TNP knows what ToeJam & Earl is, and grooves with them.

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
DrNoPuma Streaky from the land of Humorous Hyenas (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: Married to the music
#293: Feb 21st 2025 at 5:51:26 PM

I've heard of them, but I haven't played any of their games.


TNP has sang a love song that involved repeating their love interest's name several times, and ended it with screaming.

Edited by DrNoPuma on Feb 21st 2025 at 11:05:22 AM

Very good kitty
TheScratcher7 it's normal :/ from my personal limbo (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: Serial head-patter
it's normal :/
#294: Feb 21st 2025 at 10:50:21 PM

PEACHES, PEACHES, PEACHES, PEACHES, PEACHES, PEACHES, PEACHES, PEACHES, PEACHES, PEACHES I LOVE YOU!!!!!


TNP has crashed out

Ok im back ... | Check my strawpage :3
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#295: Feb 22nd 2025 at 3:46:50 AM

Yes, actually.

So, bike practice, going down hills… there is a steeper hill that I decided to go down for the first time… not knowing to liberally apply the rear break to make my descent slow, steady and careful… and I fucking crashed out, as per the facetious guess. I was flung out of the damn thing, and I was actually lucky that I landed in soil, and not the paved road or any concrete… but it still STUNG like hell. It still FELT like it wasn't fun.

But, you do want to get better at going down hill… and, not wanting a repeat of that, my ass got into high gear, learning the rear break really good, and what do you know, THAT did the trick. I haven't crashed out since.


TNP played bass for Aerosmith, and also likes pancakes.

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
Bluethorn CHOMPION from Partash Since: Jan, 2018 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
CHOMPION
#296: Feb 23rd 2025 at 9:57:05 AM

Uhh, well, the latter anyway.

TNP is a Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot

Tbh I never really hated his minigames in the original, but they did make them better in the remake.
J99908 It’s your BATH time! from A bathtub Since: Jun, 2023 Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
It’s your BATH time!
#297: Feb 23rd 2025 at 10:00:32 AM

I’m actually Samurai Cowboy Ghost Alien.

TNP is brave enough to wear the rubber underpants.

It builds character.
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#298: Feb 23rd 2025 at 11:26:46 AM

Wait, what?


The Next Poster does not like rubber.

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
Puttotheangel23 The Speaker Of God from Heaven (Private) Relationship Status: Desperate
The Speaker Of God
#299: Feb 23rd 2025 at 1:27:20 PM

Nonsense, I love rubber! I eat it all the time!

TNP tastes like rubber.

One seeks an answer that one cannot grant her, You’re looking for light only you can ignite.
Bluethorn CHOMPION from Partash Since: Jan, 2018 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
CHOMPION
#300: Feb 23rd 2025 at 3:14:36 PM

I haven't eaten myself, so I don't know.

TNP exists, but only sometimes.

Tbh I never really hated his minigames in the original, but they did make them better in the remake.

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