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RandomFanOfStuff Still trying to fix the Wi-Fi from somewhere I probably shouldn't be rn Since: Nov, 2017
Still trying to fix the Wi-Fi
#751: Jun 2nd 2025 at 7:04:58 AM

When your jaw drops to the floor, you seek medical attention for a broken jaw.

Edited by RandomFanOfStuff on Jun 2nd 2025 at 3:05:52 PM

Welp, add that to the list of Terrible Ideas That I Knew Were Terrible Ideas But Did Anyway...
WhoaBundy Since: Dec, 2013
#752: Jun 2nd 2025 at 7:18:10 AM

When you seek treatment for a broken jaw, they wire your mouth shut.

Neonocto Fire Chara! from Eight's apartment. (Troper in training) Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Fire Chara!
#753: Jun 2nd 2025 at 7:23:53 AM

when your jaw is wired shut, you cant eat.

Arson!
Owen23 The Pryomaniac from The Red Team Base Since: Mar, 2022 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
The Pryomaniac
#754: Jun 2nd 2025 at 7:26:15 AM

When you can't eat, you try to find another way to digest.

"Mmmph mmph!"
BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#755: Jun 2nd 2025 at 9:19:57 AM

When you try to find another way to digest, you have to get a feeding tube surgically attached to you.

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
oaiM_awgaS The Soft-Souled, Fluffy-Furred School Idol from Nijigasaki High (Not-So-Newbie) Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you
The Soft-Souled, Fluffy-Furred School Idol
#756: Jun 2nd 2025 at 9:57:25 AM

Don't get a Feeding tube surgically attached to you.

Get rid of cable, and switch to DirecTV

DirecTV: The future of TV is NOW.


When your cable goes out, your kid tries to play with you

"The dream of tomorrow and the sky of today, expanding in unison"
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#757: Jun 2nd 2025 at 2:30:19 PM

When your kid tries to play with you, you convince them to play the quiet game.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
generation81 Since: Aug, 2021
#759: Jun 2nd 2025 at 2:39:00 PM

When it goes about as well as you'd expect, you have gone deaf.

BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#760: Jun 2nd 2025 at 9:48:39 PM

When you go deaf, you have to get a hearing aid.

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
Owen23 The Pryomaniac from The Red Team Base Since: Mar, 2022 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
The Pryomaniac
#761: Jun 8th 2025 at 8:14:18 PM

When you get a hearing aid, you use close captioning.

"Mmmph mmph!"
WhoaBundy Since: Dec, 2013
#762: Jun 8th 2025 at 9:27:03 PM

When you use closed captioning, the AI-generated captions are full of slurs that hurt your heart.

DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#763: Jun 8th 2025 at 10:53:41 PM

When the AI-generated captions are full of slurs that hurt your heart, you come to realize that AI hates you.

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
Newnesz Since: Jul, 2023 Relationship Status: Tweaking my holographic boyfriend
#764: Jun 8th 2025 at 10:57:39 PM

when AI hates you, it starts a plan against humans

let's hold an umbrella and halo the world...
BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#765: Jun 9th 2025 at 3:35:37 AM

When AI starts a plan against humans, you end up going to war with the robots.

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
Ego-Man25 Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
#766: Jun 9th 2025 at 3:39:12 AM

Don't end up going to war with robots. Get rid of cable and switch to DirecTV.

DirecTV: The future of TV is NOW.


When you have cable, you feel taunted by channels you can't access.

Self-professed Wild Card who thinks cynicism isn't so bad.
Superjohn Muscle witch from Tokyo Empire Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Muscle witch
#767: Jun 9th 2025 at 3:42:52 AM

When you feel taunted bt the channels you can't access, you decide to gaslight yourself into thinking that you don't need them.

Edited by Superjohn on Jun 9th 2025 at 5:43:09 AM

"Give our Captain back, you jerks!"
BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#768: Jun 9th 2025 at 4:10:07 AM

When you gaslight yourself into thinking you don’t need them, you end up skipping important news broadcasts.

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
Owen23 The Pryomaniac from The Red Team Base Since: Mar, 2022 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
The Pryomaniac
#769: Jun 9th 2025 at 6:12:57 AM

When you miss important news broadcasts, you realize why your town is on fire.

"Mmmph mmph!"
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#770: Jun 9th 2025 at 1:30:03 PM

When you realize why your town is on fire, you grab your gun.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#771: Jun 9th 2025 at 10:15:33 PM

When you grab your gun, you realize you're hungry, so you eat it.

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#773: Jun 10th 2025 at 10:55:21 PM

When you fire the gun, it gets slippery because of the blood from your arm.

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
Owen23 The Pryomaniac from The Red Team Base Since: Mar, 2022 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
The Pryomaniac
#774: Jun 13th 2025 at 8:51:43 AM

When the gun gets slippery, it shoots your foot instead.

"Mmmph mmph!"
BBGunman CHAINSAW! from yes Since: Aug, 2024 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
CHAINSAW!
#775: Jun 13th 2025 at 8:55:13 AM

When you shoot your foot, you realize that you've lived through a literal version of an idiom.

Don't live through a literal version of an idiom. Switch to DirecTV today!

DIRECTV: THE FUTURE OF TV IS NOW


When you watch cable, a rabbit chews through it.

Something that happened to me a few weeks ago but with my internet instead tongue

Go watch the new Chainsaw Man movie. This is a threat.

Total posts: 878
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