Angela: Here's your Tylenol. Your next appointment was a Mr. Multiple Piece Golem... I tried to hammer out a deal, but things got a little rocky, and he said he had to split. Misters Big and Medium Piece Golem are here without an appointment. They wish to register a complaint, apparently. Afterwards, you have an appointment with Loki, Lord of the Aesir... Says he had a falling-out with his last boss, but I told him it's not the end of the wold if he doesn't get this job. And Beast King Barbaros is here. His Wilderness would like to know when you can take time to address a matter of pride. I have a feeling that may take up the lion's share of your time this afternoon, so be prepared in case he gets catty. Anything else I can help you with?
edited 29th Jan '11 2:17:10 PM by Scrounge
Barnaby sighed and rubbed his aching head. "Just send in the next candidate, please. Oh, and thanks for all the help. I know it wasn't fair to place part of this burden on you."
Duel Spirit Interview Series: Episode II. Brought to you by Tylenol, Google and the Cleveland Browns.
"So, Mr. Loki. I must say, I have always wanted to run a dedicated Spellcaster deck."
Of course, of course. What could be better than a triumph of wits over an intellectual inferior?
"Perhaps a rather abrasive way of putting it, but I'd have to say it's a philosophy I myself hold dear. I'm glad to see you've gone to great lengths to dress for success. Are you wearing five neck ties?"
Five more than the four slobs out in the lobby. Talk about unprofessional!
"Huh. Well, your resumé is certainly... an interesting read. You seem to have mentioned naked mole rats 215 times."
Yeah, well when you've been around as long as I have, you tend to pick up a lot of odd jobs here and there. I just tried to stick to what I love, you know?
"Indeed, although your qualifications aren't exactly in line with the responsibilities of the job for which you are petitioning. -flips a few pages- Well that's interesting. I see you were... every member of Metallica in 1987. Is that correct?"
Hey, it's on the sheet, isn't it?
"Excuse me?"
Well, it's just that I don't appreciate it when people insinuate that I may be dishonest. I mean, what have I actually done to you to warrant that kind of suspicion?
"To start, since you've been in here, my watch has gone missing, my coffee is frozen solid, and the lights have been taking on a gradually more purple hue with each passing moment."
And you immediately assume that I'm to blame, despite not witnessing me directly causing any of these events. I'm sorry, but if that's the treatment I'm going to get, I honestly don't think you're a proper fit for this organization.
"What?"
I'm going to have to ask you to get out of my office.
"You can't fire me! I quit!" -storms out-
-walks back in- "Wait a minute! You get out of my office!"
So when do I start?
"Wednesday. NO! I mean-"
Ah! No take backs.
"-STAMP- Just take these to the front desk, and drop them off in the same form in which you received them."
Nice talking to you. We need to hang out more.
edited 29th Jan '11 3:06:11 PM by darnpenguin
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)Loki is awesome! Hm...have you considered Barbaros Ur?
And in other news, I'm kinda having trouble trying to work out how Michael would respond to Evi's last post...
Burn up, hurricane of justice!"Well, thank goodness that's..."
"AAAAAGH!"
Before Barnaby was a massive, bearded figure in a wide brimmed hat. I SEEK NINE-TIMES DAMNED MORTAL KNOWN AS ANGELA RATH! SHE WHO HAS SO IMPIOUSLY RAISED A HAND TO ONE OF MY OWN!
Barnaby cowered behind his desk. "It wasn't a hand so much as a piece of furni-"
SILENCE! STAND NOT BETWEEN THE FATHER OF THE AESIR AND THE JUSTICE HE METES OUT TO THE ENEMIES OF ASGARD!
"With all due respect, Mr. Odin, sir," Barnaby said, fidgeting with a pen and desperately trying to avoid having a heart attack at the age of twenty-five, "he was extremely disrespectful to both Ms. Rath and myself."
AND FOR THIS YOU JUSTIFY HER THEFT OF HIS TREASURED HAND BAG?
"The one he's never mentioned before and didn't leave home with?"
The scar tissue where Odin's eye would be twitched almost imperceptibly. MY APOLOGIES, MORTAL. CARRY ON WITH YOUR INSIGNIFICANT AFFAIRS WHILE I GO HAVE A TALK WITH LOKI.
Barnaby waved nervously as the towering sage rose into the air, obliterating his ceiling in the process. "I understand perfectly. I have an adopted son myself, so I get my share of drama," he said while dodging chunks of falling plaster.
-click- "Angela, send in the next candidate. A mister "Ur," if I'm not mistaken. Oh, and we need a janitor and handy man in here at the next available opportunity."
Episode 3 coming soon.
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)Oooh, hang on: Colossal Fighter. Nigh-unkillable, powerful, and I can't stop hearing him as a Super Sentai parody because of those glasses he wears.
No no no, it goes like this:
Additional '1's and '!'s optional.
Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)... I'm with Angela on this one. Dreadroot very well should rot in a fiery hole of pain and suffering...
Also, maybe Barnaby could run a Dark World deck, with Reign-Beaux, Overlord of Dark World as his key monster and new spirit? I can see him being just as snarky as Dreadroot, as well as having the capacity to be a Noble Demon. I mean, his name is based of Rainbow, how bad can he really be. Though, he is a bit weaker than Barnaby's last spirit(Two levels...) but he seems to pack quite a punch. Yes, this is in part so that the banter between Dreadroot and Stardust can continue in a new form. So sue me.
"Please sit down, Mr. Ur," Barnaby said, motioning to the seat in front of his desk.
"10 PRINT 'TARGET ACQUIRED.' 20 END," the beast's crackling voice box uttered as it attempted to climb into seat, reducing it to splinters.
"Fantastic. So, why don't you tell me about yourself."
"FOR TROUBLESHOOTING AND TECHNICAL SUPPORT CONTACT INFORMATION, PLEASE REFER TO 'READ ME' PDF INCLUDED ON INSTALL DISK."
Barnaby buried his face in his hands, muttering softly to himself, "this is why I don't do machine decks," before looking up to address Ur. "If you're referring to the 'resumé' you sent us, I'm afraid my binary is just a tad rusty."
Ur no longer seemed engaged in the conversation at hand, and was now scratching the top of his head with his back paw. "DEBUG MODE ACTIVATED."
"Look," Barnaby said. "I'm going to recommend you to the Academy's Workforce Preparation program. They'll help you put together a more acceptable resumé, and teach you some more effective interview habits. If we have an opening six weeks from now, we'll be happy to- SWEET MOTHER OF AZATHOTH!"
Duel Spirit Interview Series: Episode III. Brought to you by Tylenol, Rolex and Maxwell House.
A great, iridescent demon had descended from the hole in the ceiling, clutching a large rectangular sheet of what appeared to be still-dripping flesh of some kind. "Your slave woman refused to allow me a seat in your foyer, so I have come to you personally seeking employment!"
Barnaby stared dumbfounded for several seconds before mustering up the courage to speak. "Y- you'll have to wait in the-" Barnaby stopped himself before he could suggest he go bother Angela a second time. "-on the roof until I'm done with my current interview." He was suddenly eager to spend more time with Ur.
Without hesitation, the great demon picked up Ur by the throat and tossed him straight up through the same hole he had used to enter the office. "Previous engagements have been tended to. You shall now peruse a chronicling of my myriad conquests," he said, flopping the bloody mess onto Barnaby's desk.
"I see. Thank you Mister... Reign-Beaux," Barnaby said, standing up and circling his desk to read the rather large document without touching it. "I see you've spent time serving in the military. It seems you were in a rather high-ranking position in your previous line of work before you decided to re-enter the old job market. Why precisely did you choose to give up such a lucrative career and petition for work here at Duel Academy?"
"There was nothing left to conquer. I desire new horizons to wash with the blood of infidels!"
"Alright, I'll just put you down as 'currently retired,' then," Barnaby said, scribbling down a few notes. "Now, I'm sure you understand that as my duel spirit, you will be working closely with my immediate family. How are you with children?"
" What is 'the children?'"
"Hm, 'no prior experience.' I think we're just about done here. One final question. You don't seem to have given me any contact information..."
" I am the chill that runs down your spine when you realize you're not alone. I am the shadow on your bedroom wall cast by something just out of your view. I am the lust of Lilith, the envy of Cain, the pride of Samson..."
"Alright, I'll be sure to give you a call within a week to inform you as to whether or not you have been chosen. Please exit the way you came and... err..." He gestured to the sheet of skin on his desk. "I imagine you'll want to keep this. It's likely your only copy."
"The gluttony of... um... the Whale that swallowed Jonah, I suppose... I'll come back to that one."
"Security!"
edited 29th Jan '11 6:42:08 PM by darnpenguin
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)Sleep well.
Sadly, I have to work tomorrow, so a few of the interviews might a closing bit with Angela. Not that they'll really need one, but just in case anyone cares.
I nominate BLS: Envoy of the Beginning and CED: Envoy of the End. Who would constantly fight like little girls in the interview but be super-macho in the interview, with CED constantly blowing stuff up and BLS sending the explosions to another dimension, as per their effects =D.
Hey look!. Yu-Gi-Oh meets wrasslin'!
I thought the point was to fine a new Spirit for Barnaby to construct his deck around it, and BLS and CED are banned, are they not?

Pfffff.
Aw, that was cool. Hmm. Looks like he won't be the obvious favourite, though...
Storm and trouble won't make you make you lose your way. (Tits might, though.)