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TheScratcher7 it's normal :/ from my personal limbo (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: Serial head-patter
it's normal :/
#1551: Feb 4th 2025 at 8:13:59 PM

oh no there's The Peeping Tom aaaa aaaaa AAAAAA-


Why is that guy working at the video game store all the time?

Ok im back ... | Check my strawpage :3
DeadlyEspresso Mister Pendleton from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Mister Pendleton
#1552: Feb 5th 2025 at 4:35:59 AM

Turns out he died while working there.


The local Chuck E. Cheese gets a little quirky at night...

I literally cannot make out with a television the fuck
skan123 Since: Aug, 2018
#1553: Feb 5th 2025 at 6:09:51 AM

... especially when the animatronics come to life... and start singing.


There once was a man from Peru...

Edited by skan123 on Mar 24th 2025 at 3:27:37 AM

iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#1554: Feb 5th 2025 at 6:15:14 AM

He shouldn't have stayed there when Peru sank.


I signed the contract before me and scoffed — "you can tell me the important catch I missed later."

dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#1555: Feb 5th 2025 at 9:27:16 AM

"For every dollar you make, you owe us 75 cents!"


The door to the bathroom is locked!

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#1556: Feb 5th 2025 at 2:09:15 PM

And there's an alien here whose pee is corrosive, so they'd better hurry up!


The bar is closed.

For every low there is a high.
TheScratcher7 it's normal :/ from my personal limbo (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: Serial head-patter
it's normal :/
#1557: Feb 6th 2025 at 12:12:28 AM

I am NOT hoping that the barista was in cahoots with a villian


There's a test paper with a bunch of scribbles on the table.

Ok im back ... | Check my strawpage :3
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#1558: Feb 6th 2025 at 6:19:51 AM

One of them looks suspiciously like... a... AMON-


[This post has been removed following a complaint filed by the Society Against Outdated Memes.]

Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#1559: Feb 6th 2025 at 8:17:30 AM

I guess that proves it; I can't haz cheeseburger...


There was a part of him, and I did not know how potent that part might be, that thirsted for my blood.

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
DeadlyEspresso Mister Pendleton from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#1561: Feb 6th 2025 at 9:16:44 AM

That wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the arm hanging through it!


What's that horrible smell!?

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Seaners Just some guy from Manila Since: Jul, 2019 Relationship Status: Abstaining
Just some guy
#1562: Feb 6th 2025 at 9:51:19 AM

It’s the mystery meat from last night’s dinner.

——

Someone’s knocking on my front door…

DEHUMANIZE YOURSELF AND FACE TO BLOODSHED.
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#1563: Feb 6th 2025 at 9:53:09 AM

I ignored it, wishing I had never stolen Dracula's wallet.


"Hey", I yelled at the top of my lungs from the rooftops, "Fuck you Satan!"

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#1564: Feb 6th 2025 at 11:00:12 AM

And ever since then I haven't been feeling well, so maybe he cursed me.


I suck at baseball.

For every low there is a high.
DeadlyEspresso Mister Pendleton from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Mister Pendleton
#1565: Feb 6th 2025 at 11:00:16 AM

And that's when Satan said "Fuck You!" back.


I couldn't recognize the man in my reflection.

I literally cannot make out with a television the fuck
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#1566: Feb 9th 2025 at 11:18:48 AM

... oh wait, it's me.


I was watching the newest episode of The Amazing Digital Circus.

Currently Reading: N/A
dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#1567: Feb 9th 2025 at 5:01:39 PM

On purpose!


Hey, isn't that shooting star getting kinda big...?

Edited by dvorak on Feb 9th 2025 at 6:01:49 AM

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#1568: Feb 9th 2025 at 8:17:50 PM

It wasn't until I reached down to adjust my picnic blanket and felt nothing but cool air below me that I realized the awful truth: it wasn't getting bigger, I was getting closer.


After checking, double-checking, and triple-checking the instructions, I followed each step of the summoning ritual to a T.

Edited by iwantedtoaddsomething on Feb 9th 2025 at 11:19:49 AM

DeadlyEspresso Mister Pendleton from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Mister Pendleton
#1569: Feb 10th 2025 at 6:59:26 AM

...And the demon I summoned still threatened to take my wallet.


I was on a trek through the woods when a skeleton randomly appeared!

I literally cannot make out with a television the fuck
idkwhatiamdoingatp What's your function? from Hooking up the country helping business rise (Series 1) Relationship Status: I'm in love with my car
What's your function?
#1570: Feb 10th 2025 at 7:03:53 AM

And then I died.


Congratulations, I put minimal effort!

WHO PUT A DIESEL LOCOMOTIVE ON THE ROAD!?
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#1571: Feb 10th 2025 at 7:08:35 AM

Then the man cocked his gun and prepared to give me my reward.


The night was dark and stormy as the vikings took their ships and fled the new world, fearing what they had seen...

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
alateli " oh , uh .. 'blanket'." from Living Room (Apprentice) Relationship Status: Brewing the love potion
" oh , uh .. 'blanket'."
#1572: Feb 10th 2025 at 12:45:56 PM

Nothing. It was really dark.


I sat in the waiting room, fidgeting in my seat as the doctor called me in..

Well if it isn't my favorite human ..!
WhoaBundy Since: Dec, 2013
#1573: Feb 10th 2025 at 1:05:53 PM

My harness was getting loose, and I worried that my plug would pop out.


As I looked in the Ring camera, I only saw a bloodshot eye staring back at me.

iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#1574: Feb 10th 2025 at 1:57:33 PM

It seemed that, despite all my protests and pleas, Ignacio the Floating Eye was still staying up until 4AM watching Subway Surfers & Family Guy edits on TikTok, and his ocular health was all the worse for it.


The dilapidated bus stop I walked past on my way home from work every night had a strange old man waiting by it today.

Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#1575: Feb 10th 2025 at 2:01:14 PM

Guess no-one told him the bus stop eats people.


You know that sinister feeling you get whenever you lose a tooth?

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)

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