It was the living car OF DOOM, and it hit me and then I was ded.
I was playing fetch with my dog, when he brought back something that definitely wasn't a stick... Very good kitty
Good thing I'm an eldritch being with multiple heads, so my reign of terror will continue!
I walked into my bedroom to find it full of old, porcelain dolls, all staring at me with their glass eyes. Very good kitty
It's the second-to-last man on earth, and he wants to play Monopoly.
Why do I hear boss music?
Edited by dvorak on Apr 2nd 2023 at 12:01:38 PM
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!OH NO, Slenderman just got the Chaos Emeralds and became SUPER SLENDERMAN!!!
I heard a noise in the kitchen, so I walked in and realized that my biggest cleaver was missing. Very good kitty
Then, I heard Knife Guy's
older brother, Cleaver Guy, walking up behind me.
My TV is on the fritz and I don't know why.
Join the Object Show Cleanup Thread! (they/them)I still can't believe they watched Godzilla without me.
In the middle of the night, I heard a voice in my bedroom.
Working on: Author Appeal | Sandbox | Troper WallIt whispered in a demonic voice, "This haunting is brought to you by Raid:Shadow Legends, the greatest RPG nobody has actually played."
Joseph had no idea his powers were awakening.
All witches, all skeletons, all jack O Lanterns, gather round your TV set, put on your masks, and watch...watch the magic pumpkin, Watch...The pizza delivery guy found this out the hard way when he was suddenly vaporized... along with the pizza. 😱😢
"Pff, it's just a dumb horror movie, I can handle this," I said as I turned off the lights and pressed Play on my remote. Very good kitty
The kids ate him alive.
Why Am I Ticking? Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Oh no! A couple with a newborn just moved in next door!
I heard some loud banging on my window.
✦ immerse your soul in love ✦ (they/them)

It was the biggest fish I ever saw; shame it got away...
This house is always cold, no matter how high I crank the heat up. Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!