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Bubblepig Rei from Tokyo (Apprentice) Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
#326: Feb 8th 2023 at 10:25:55 AM

Oh, no! It's the mannequins stealing monster! AHHHHHHH!


I wake up from a coma and noticed that nobody is at the hospital.....

Edited by Bubblepig on Feb 8th 2023 at 10:26:08 AM

"Now it's starting to feel like a game!"
Superjohn Muscle witch from Tokyo Empire Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Muscle witch
#327: Feb 8th 2023 at 10:28:40 AM

THEY TURNED INVISIBLE!

The convert I'm at has something strange about it?

"Give our Captain back, you jerks!"
dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#328: Feb 8th 2023 at 4:55:22 PM

The heating's broke, so it's always too hot or too cold; never just right.


The man in the mirror doesn't look directly at me, but over my shoulder like he's seen something terrifying.

Edited by dvorak on Feb 10th 2023 at 7:49:29 AM

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Dristarg Will D. Downing from Daventry, UK Since: Mar, 2019 Relationship Status: Singularity
Will D. Downing
#329: Feb 10th 2023 at 2:41:13 AM

Amazing place, this funfair hall of mirrors.

____________________________________________________________________________

I wake up and find muddy footprints that have walked up to my bed and then away again.

I'd rather be known as a "wrong 'un" than a "right one".
GrafVonTirol We can be heroes, just for one day from a state of boredom (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Standing outside, playing "In Your Eyes" on the boombox
We can be heroes, just for one day
#330: Feb 10th 2023 at 2:58:57 AM

My father had returned from the cemetery.


It was at this time that I realized something was off with this meal.

Edited by GrafVonTirol on Feb 10th 2023 at 2:59:37 AM

dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#331: Feb 10th 2023 at 5:13:09 PM

There was a hair in it! Yuck!


Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there...

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#332: Feb 10th 2023 at 5:39:27 PM

He said to me, "You mustn't fear. I can't hurt you if I'm not here."


I saw some red stuff dripping from the ceiling.

For every low there is a high.
Superjohn Muscle witch from Tokyo Empire Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Muscle witch
#333: Feb 11th 2023 at 11:20:27 AM

I really should find better place to store my murder victims.

After 300 years, a monster popped up from the grave....

"Give our Captain back, you jerks!"
dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#334: Feb 11th 2023 at 8:42:00 PM

But I was dead from waiting for three hundred years.


Can't sleep; clown will eat me...!

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Topon from the middle of nowhere Since: May, 2021
#335: Feb 11th 2023 at 11:43:56 PM

GAHHHH!!! THE SCARY CLOWN CAME IN AND FORCED ME TO HAVE BABIES WITH A DEAD BODY!


The screams in my head are getting louder.

Edited by Topon on Feb 12th 2023 at 3:44:47 AM

dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#336: Feb 13th 2023 at 9:34:20 PM

Luckily, they seem to like Heavy Metal music.


Every night, something scratches at the bedroom door...

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
DrNoPuma Streaky from the land of Humorous Hyenas (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: Married to the music
#337: Feb 14th 2023 at 6:45:26 AM

Every time, I say "Don't bother me, honey," but then I remember I DON'T HAVE WIFE!


I finally figured out WHO WAS PHONE.

Very good kitty
dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#338: Feb 14th 2023 at 7:23:18 AM

YOU was phone!


A hand groped blindly as it rose from the murk of the sink, dripping scraps of food and soapy, grey dishwater...

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Cutegirl920fire Player 222 from the Squid Games (Five Long Years) Relationship Status: Paris holds the key to my heart
Player 222
#339: Feb 14th 2023 at 9:19:24 AM

Damn you Thing for disturbing me when I'm washing the dishes.


My heart pounded heavily as I gave my crush some chocolates, hoping that she'll reciprocate my love...

CG for short
DrNoPuma Streaky from the land of Humorous Hyenas (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: Married to the music
#340: Feb 25th 2023 at 1:37:12 PM

But she sucked up the chocolate with FANGS, and that's when I realized she was actually a VAMPIER!


I entered the abandoned TV studio to see if I could find out why my favorite childhood show, Tommy Tiger's Fun Hour, was cancelled after just one season.

Very good kitty
dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#341: Feb 25th 2023 at 8:25:41 PM

As it turned out, nobody but you liked that show, and the studio sunk so much money into it they folded when it went off the air.


When I tried to leave my appartment this morning, I found that there was an iron grille bolted over the door!

Edited by dvorak on Mar 4th 2023 at 8:38:37 AM

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
GrafVonTirol We can be heroes, just for one day from a state of boredom (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Standing outside, playing "In Your Eyes" on the boombox
We can be heroes, just for one day
#342: Feb 25th 2023 at 8:31:29 PM

The landlord is that determined to collect the rent, by any means!


I can hear a piercing scream coming from a distance.

Superjohn Muscle witch from Tokyo Empire Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Muscle witch
#343: Mar 4th 2023 at 6:27:14 PM

Oh no, IT'S A SALTY GAMER!

I felt pure fear as flames began to consume my house.....

"Give our Captain back, you jerks!"
DrNoPuma Streaky from the land of Humorous Hyenas (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: Married to the music
#344: Mar 4th 2023 at 6:34:45 PM

At first I thought I left the oven on, but then I realized it was even worse: the oven had come to life and turned itself on!


I was out walking one night when I suddenly realized that something about the moon was different.

Edited by DrNoPuma on Mar 4th 2023 at 9:35:18 AM

Very good kitty
dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#345: Mar 4th 2023 at 8:40:42 PM

There was an eye on it; spooky and weird, sure, but not actually threatening.


It hurts to be awake, but it hurts to be asleep too...

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Electrite Damnably Inscrutable from Solla Sollew (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Damnably Inscrutable
#346: Mar 4th 2023 at 8:43:30 PM

ngl really gotta go to the doctor.

When the dead began rising from their graves, I was scared for a different reason than most.

fun fact: pro tip: breaking news: life hack: i can't find a good signature
dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#347: Mar 9th 2023 at 5:15:44 PM

I owed my brother in law $50 and he died before I could pay him back!


"I've never seen that before!" said the doctor.

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
DreamCord Mysterious Stranger from Somewhere in California Since: Jun, 2015 Relationship Status: Married to the music
Mysterious Stranger
#348: Mar 17th 2023 at 8:38:09 AM

"This guy can eat 80 hot dogs in one second!" he exclaimed while staring at his phone.

I felt an evil presence in the room...

Hey.
MatthewLMayfield from wherever he damn well pleases (Captain) Relationship Status: I wanna know what love is
#349: Mar 17th 2023 at 8:44:35 AM

...it's my Darth Vader poster watching after me.

I see a strange ooze coming out of my kitchen sink...

Superjohn Muscle witch from Tokyo Empire Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Muscle witch
#350: Mar 17th 2023 at 9:28:23 AM

I knew I should have payed that witch.

I was driven to the dock by the mafia guys, as I saw a creature in the water....

"Give our Captain back, you jerks!"

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