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SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#2826: Sep 19th 2025 at 5:11:05 PM

"You slacked off on a whole semester's worth of homework, I'm done sugarcoating!"


Why am I sleeping the whole day and being awake at night?

Edited by SomeLibre on Sep 19th 2025 at 7:11:16 PM

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2827: Sep 20th 2025 at 2:48:28 PM

Because you're a vampire.


My wife and I are still trying for a baby.

For every low there is a high.
SoaringEagle A figment of your imagination from A dream you had (Troper Youngling) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
A figment of your imagination
#2828: Sep 20th 2025 at 2:52:31 PM

what spice do you recommend?


my elementary school friends and i decided to watch old cartoons we loved on VHS

hit me up on MSN messenger! ;D
DeadlyEspresso Mister Pendleton from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
CallMeVbuck Diplomat from go figure Since: Oct, 2022 Relationship Status: I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?
#2830: Sep 20th 2025 at 5:05:31 PM

“No, not since the Memory-Sucking Monster started roaming these streets.”


If I see somebody cheat in a video game…

I will never get tired of watching Home Alone or its sequel.
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2831: Sep 20th 2025 at 5:31:10 PM

I slit their throat, chop them in half, and have their intestines for dinner.


I felt something sting inside me.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico
#2832: Sep 20th 2025 at 9:17:33 PM

Looks like I ate way too much live bees.


I felt a tingling sensation, as if something were to burst out of me...

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2833: Sep 21st 2025 at 6:26:02 AM

I put a hand to my stomach and said "Keep quiet, dammit, we're almost past border patrol."


If you ever find yourself lost in a dark forest, just remember this...

Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2834: Sep 21st 2025 at 2:31:28 PM

It's safer if you do believe in spooks.


The drinking fountain is broken.

For every low there is a high.
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2835: Sep 21st 2025 at 2:33:08 PM

So now it eats people instead of drinking them.


At first I laughed, because by all accounts the creature that stood before just had such a silly pun for a name...

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#2836: Sep 21st 2025 at 9:19:30 PM

And then I didn't, because...the creature ate my upper body.


"...You'll be dead where you stand."

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
Yamanekko it's TIIIIIIIIIME from Mariah Carey’s evil lair (at the North Pole) Since: Sep, 2024 Relationship Status: Whoa, they're bisexual! I didn't know that!
it's TIIIIIIIIIME
#2837: Sep 22nd 2025 at 12:37:49 AM

“That’s where you’re wrong,” I said as the bomb in my stomach went off, leaving me dead in a fifteen-foot radius from where I stood.


You’ll never believe what I got arrested for today.

i just want you for my own. more than you could ever know.
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2838: Sep 22nd 2025 at 7:15:20 AM

I was arrested for drawing a goddamn pentagram.


Man, this new band album is great so far!

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2839: Sep 22nd 2025 at 7:29:47 AM

And what a hilarious title this next song has, "Ode to a Fart Sound Effect Amplified by 20dB alongside Twelve Vine Booms at Once and 'Damn Son, Where'd You Find This?' Put Through A Disgusting Flanger" — oh my god, they're using bagpipes!


This webcomic I like that went inactive in 2012 finally updated again today.

Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2840: Sep 22nd 2025 at 6:03:59 PM

But why are there 666’es all over the pages?

———- Ouch!

Edited by Unicorndance on Sep 23rd 2025 at 1:04:13 AM

For every low there is a high.
WhoaBundy Since: Dec, 2013
#2841: Sep 22nd 2025 at 7:20:26 PM

“Aw snap, my bad homes,” said the weird guy as he walked away with my kidney in a plastic bag.

——

Who the heck told him he could be here?

SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#2842: Sep 23rd 2025 at 2:38:46 AM

Me?...


NO ONE OUT PIZZA'S THE HUT!

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico
#2843: Sep 23rd 2025 at 8:15:18 AM

...ASIDE FROM THE HUT THAT OUT-HUTS THE PIZZA!


I handed over my tattered, decrepit sketchbook over to the Student Council.

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
DeadlyEspresso Mister Pendleton from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#2845: Sep 23rd 2025 at 11:33:25 PM

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI SHOU!


Think fast, fucknuts!

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#2846: Sep 23rd 2025 at 11:51:34 PM

Aw nuts... I just got kicked in the nuts by some pervert!

I stuck my hand into the wall, and it came out covered in orange sticky stuff.

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2847: Sep 24th 2025 at 12:07:20 PM

Looks like the Gunk Monster is back!


My brother's starting another one of his weird collections.

For every low there is a high.
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2848: Sep 24th 2025 at 12:10:34 PM

Well, at least it's not corpses this time...


When I moved into my new house, I spotted some mold that the previous owner had hidden from me.

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
BlankBlankness Since: Aug, 2023
#2849: Sep 25th 2025 at 5:18:13 AM

My allergies eventually took their toll on me.

When I woke up, I was trapped underneath some wooden floorboards.

Vrei să pleci dar nu mă, nu mă iei / Nu mă, nu mă iei, nu mă, nu mă, nu mă iei / Chipul tău și dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de
DrNoPuma Bud and Lou(ise) from the land of Humorous Hyenas (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: Married to the music
Bud and Lou(ise)
#2850: Sep 25th 2025 at 6:23:31 AM

"Mm, tasty," said the Floor Monster.


I heard a strange noise in the kitchen.

Please make this canon, DC. I love the idea of the Joker and Harley's hyenas acting like them.

Total posts: 3,048
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