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SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#2801: Sep 13th 2025 at 7:07:22 AM

Because i'm in a nonexistent day that doesn't feature in the week.


Stop fucking thrusting into the earth and making earthquakes!

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
DeadlyEspresso Mister Pendleton from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Mister Pendleton
#2802: Sep 13th 2025 at 7:34:09 AM

"No.", said the Earth's new paramour.


Is it just me, or does the Moon look a little jealous of someone...?

I literally cannot make out with a television the fuck
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2803: Sep 13th 2025 at 11:53:31 AM

It's jealous of Uranus, but needs to watch out for black holes!


Why is that girl so stoked?

For every low there is a high.
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2804: Sep 13th 2025 at 1:36:16 PM

Because she enjoys the beheading contest a bit too much.


Why is my laptop unable to connect to the WiFi?

Edited by Mildude on Sep 13th 2025 at 3:36:25 AM

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
Superjohn Muscle witch from Tokyo Empire Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Muscle witch
#2806: Sep 13th 2025 at 2:07:34 PM

The 1990 mines series, and it was scary....awful!

I haven't watched the actual series, so no actual opinion on it

This root beer taste like blood....

"Give our Captain back, you jerks!"
CallMeVbuck Diplomat from go figure Since: Oct, 2022 Relationship Status: I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?
#2807: Sep 13th 2025 at 2:13:04 PM

Then the doctor told me I was the root-beer blood man.


The scariest thing happened last night.

I will never get tired of watching Home Alone or its sequel.
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2808: Sep 13th 2025 at 2:20:53 PM

It was so scary, I decided to kill everyone so that nothing scarier could ever happen again!


Anyone here in the mood for some, ehe, snazzy jazz?

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2809: Sep 13th 2025 at 10:24:03 PM

"Not me," I said, oblivious to the fact my friend was preparing to get his chainsaw out and murder me to the tune of some jazzy song.


"Thanks for the meatball sub, Dad," Charlie said obliviously.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
Solaris2022 Guy Incognito Since: Nov, 2022
Guy Incognito
#2810: Sep 13th 2025 at 10:26:56 PM

"No," said his father, "You are the meatball sub."


The experiment was a success.

SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#2811: Sep 14th 2025 at 9:44:26 AM

well, it would've if the experiment didn't come alive and said

n o


Muahaha, i stole all your money last night!

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2812: Sep 14th 2025 at 12:21:12 PM

Crud, now I can't afford to buy my anti-lycanthropy pills!


My phone's broken.

For every low there is a high.
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2813: Sep 14th 2025 at 1:48:29 PM

Thank goodness Hell has a phone repair store!


"I sure love eating cookies, and I sure hope the Cookie Loving Strangers Strangler doesn't see me."

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
CallMeVbuck Diplomat from go figure Since: Oct, 2022 Relationship Status: I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?
#2814: Sep 14th 2025 at 1:50:21 PM

“You thought wrong,” the Cookie Loving Strangers Strangler said before strangling me.


It’s crazy what happened in that warehouse last week.

I will never get tired of watching Home Alone or its sequel.
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2815: Sep 14th 2025 at 6:29:18 PM

"Tell me about it," said the Last Week Warehouse Craze-Happener, taking the blame for the fireworks show I held in there.


These A.I.s are getting so lifelike!

pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico
#2816: Sep 14th 2025 at 10:14:15 PM

But how do I know that I know that I’m not AI…?

——

“Gosh, this is all for me…?” Said the Forcible Birthday Birthday Boy.

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2817: Sep 17th 2025 at 1:18:29 PM

"No," said the Forcible Birthday Birthday Boy Eliminator.


"It sure is pretty dark and wet in here!"

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
WhoaBundy Since: Dec, 2013
#2818: Sep 17th 2025 at 5:00:31 PM

As I escaped the strange space, I called for help; all that came out was "Wah, waah."


I love you, Dr. Pimple Popper!

pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico
#2819: Sep 18th 2025 at 1:02:48 AM

The pimple juice spilled everywhere after that and I filed a divorce with the Pimple-Popping Doctor shortly after.


"Guys, Kyle escaped the basement again— And he's got Mike's dad as a hostage."

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2820: Sep 18th 2025 at 12:09:15 PM

I would call the police, but the Police Are Useless.


There's a lady on the bus looking a bit weird.

For every low there is a high.
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2821: Sep 18th 2025 at 12:42:19 PM

I wiped away a bead of sweat and sighed in relief when the People Who Arrest People for Looking a Bit Weird shot the tires off the bus and escorted her into an unmarked black helicopter.


I just realized I never listened to side B of my favorite record.

SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#2822: Sep 18th 2025 at 3:58:37 PM

(No sound) ...oh that's why.


I count slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster...

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
DeadlyEspresso Mister Pendleton from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2824: Sep 18th 2025 at 8:43:37 PM

"I FOUND IT!" screamed the drunken algebra student as he whipped out a shotgun.


I arrived at my HOLY SHIT IS THAT A SKELETON?

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 3: Wakatsuki Nico
#2825: Sep 19th 2025 at 5:16:22 AM

"Not only that... because it was a SPOOKY SCARY SKELETON AT THAT!"


"...Dad, you can't be serious about this."

Edited by pyromancingsandwich on Sep 19th 2025 at 8:17:03 PM

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)

Total posts: 3,048
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