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Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2676: Aug 24th 2025 at 8:34:14 PM

The Hungarian was revealed to be evil.


"See you at Guantanamo Bay!"

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
Sourguy Doesn't do much (He/Him) from The Peach State Since: Oct, 2021 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Doesn't do much (He/Him)
#2677: Aug 25th 2025 at 4:37:06 PM

"Who's up for some waterboarding!"


"I don't know why my friend wanted me to read Squidward's Suicide so badly, but here goes nothing, I guess."

Currently Reading: N/A
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#2678: Aug 25th 2025 at 4:45:57 PM

"Huh, well, that sure was a creepypa- ah shit, he stole my kidneys!"


Psst, don't look, but there's a guy watching us from atop that rock over there.

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
CallMeVbuck That one Ace Combat / Project Wingman fan from deep in the heart of Texas Since: Oct, 2022 Relationship Status: How YOU doin'?
That one Ace Combat / Project Wingman fan
#2679: Aug 25th 2025 at 6:20:39 PM

NO, I’M NOT! WHY DOES EVERYBODY KEEP SAYING THAT!?


The river didn’t look too out of the ordinary today… except for one thing.

I will never get tired of watching Home Alone or its sequel.
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
pyromancingsandwich RAM Day 8: Taco from Yoyleland (Green Sprout) Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
RAM Day 8: Taco
#2681: Aug 25th 2025 at 8:21:22 PM

...I still haven't met the word count yet.


Whatever you do, don't open up that strangely labelled copy of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon.

Trying out Random Avatar Month (Main interest: Objectified)
Neonocto Fire Chara! from Eight's apartment. (Troper in training) Relationship Status: Chocolate!
Fire Chara!
#2682: Aug 27th 2025 at 2:44:49 AM

Oh shit I'm actually a Pokémon now.


"Hey has anybody seen the 1000 dollar bill?"

Arson!
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2683: Aug 27th 2025 at 5:46:18 AM

It was only after shelling out $500 to have it recovered that I realized my thumb had never been covering up a third 0.


I woke up in a strange world, parallel to our own.

Edited by iwantedtoaddsomething on Aug 27th 2025 at 8:55:39 AM

Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2684: Aug 27th 2025 at 2:23:40 PM

It was one of those EVIL universes!


I think I have lice.

For every low there is a high.
skan123 Since: Aug, 2018
#2685: Aug 29th 2025 at 1:16:54 PM

I said, seconds before I passed out; I didn't know lice could suck more than blood.


At 4:00 A.M, the power went out in our house...

Edited by skan123 on Aug 29th 2025 at 9:17:00 AM

Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2686: Aug 29th 2025 at 1:55:52 PM

At 4:30 AM, our house went missing.


"It's so tight!" he exclaimed.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
WhoaBundy Since: Dec, 2013
#2687: Aug 31st 2025 at 12:44:17 PM

So he finally took off the shoe, admitting that he was no longer a women’s size 7.

——

Maurice’s instincts told him to get out of the living room immediately.

dvorak The World's Least Powerful Man from Hiding in your shadow (Elder Troper) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
The World's Least Powerful Man
#2688: Aug 31st 2025 at 10:51:13 PM

He was promptly eaten by the Hallway Bear; so much for instinct.


"I hope this doesn't awaken anything within me...!"

Edited by dvorak on Aug 31st 2025 at 10:51:38 AM

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2689: Sep 1st 2025 at 7:18:10 AM

Unfortunately, the homicidal tapeworm in his stomach woke up after he attempted to do a cartwheel.


It was Friday night, my parents were gone, and all I had was a rope and my favorite necklace.

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
NotPeppermint The Friendly Awakened Arcanist, Ulrich from Laplace Scientific Computing Center (Troper Youngling) Relationship Status: Mmmm...chocolate hearts
The Friendly Awakened Arcanist, Ulrich
#2690: Sep 1st 2025 at 3:17:31 PM

“So, what are you dead for?” God asked me, idiotically.


A beautiful feminine lifeform has just crossed my path

"Enumeration is a last resort... But sometimes, it can work a miracle."
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2691: Sep 1st 2025 at 3:31:47 PM

I hope I don't get any alien STDs.


Last week's episode of my favourite TV show was weird, man!

For every low there is a high.
Yamanekko Esnupi from atop the red doghouse Since: Sep, 2024 Relationship Status: Whoa, they're bisexual! I didn't know that!
Esnupi
#2692: Sep 2nd 2025 at 1:25:39 AM

He turned himself into a pickle!


“Man, I can’t wait to have another day without a panic attack,” I said.

Always remember to hydrate! (A message from Snoopy)
DeadlyEspresso Louisiana Heartstopper from your local Popeyes Since: Apr, 2023
Louisiana Heartstopper
#2693: Sep 2nd 2025 at 2:36:46 AM

And I did...


Who's hands are these?

I sadly doubt he would like Popeyes, though...
SomeLibre WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER from [SERVICE UNAVAILABLE] Since: Dec, 2020 Relationship Status: Chat, is this real?
WELCOME BACK MOTHERFUCKER
#2694: Sep 2nd 2025 at 3:02:44 AM

MINE TO PUNCH YOU WITH!


Oh fuck, I have no idea whose sleep paralysis demon I've been saddled with tonight.

Cassie | they/them/he | Help needed for filling out entries on the Series X SCP category
iwantedtoaddsomething Since: Feb, 2015
#2695: Sep 2nd 2025 at 7:15:43 AM

"Is this not— ah, fuck, sorry, let me search up more conventional material first," it said, flicking through its smartphone and carefully setting down its branding iron.


"They're just in her imagnation... right?"

Mildude A Member of the Midnight Crew from the you-know-what Since: Sep, 2021 Relationship Status: is commanded to— WANK!
A Member of the Midnight Crew
#2696: Sep 2nd 2025 at 7:56:25 AM

"Wrong," said the non-imaginary murderer.


Ah crap, my project is due in less than 24 hours!

Déjà vu, tell you what I'm gonna do, when they reminisce over you, my God
Unicorndance Logic Girl from Thames, N.Z. Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Logic Girl
#2697: Sep 2nd 2025 at 3:06:32 PM

And my teacher is the literal Devil!


Who ordered the pizza?

For every low there is a high.
RadioContactLine Not The Kind of Worm You Wanna Meet from the land of Mormons and Swig (Utah, U.S.A) (Life not ruined yet) Relationship Status: love is a deadly lazer
Not The Kind of Worm You Wanna Meet
#2698: Sep 2nd 2025 at 3:08:52 PM

Oh no...it was Pizzahead.


As the moon began its rise once more, all I could do was sigh.

Ready to rock?
Shyhero Unmotivated dyslexic writer. from Sofa Since: Jun, 2020 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Unmotivated dyslexic writer.
#2699: Sep 2nd 2025 at 3:11:18 PM

I invited a bunch of my friends over.

I hope you don't mind.

NoName404 [Insert Title Here] from Sealand Since: May, 2024 Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
[Insert Title Here]
#2700: Sep 2nd 2025 at 4:55:29 PM

Said the zombie before eating my brain


As I pass through the graveyard, I hear a weird sound coming from one of the graves

"This forum signature likes to refer to itself, as well as to the fact that it likes to refer to itself"

Total posts: 3,063
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